Apparently happiness in my marriage is not in the cards for me.  Another day/night, another night.  The D word came out tonight.  He said that all he ever does is disappoint me and pick fights with me and so I should divorce him.  From what I gathered from our fight, I am his main source of stress and frustration, so much that he doesnt even like ( Read more... )

well, it is almost the new year.  hopefully next year will turn out better than this year was.  I have had some good time, but there were definitely a lot of bad.  The good parts were me getting married, buying a house, learning to ride a motorcycle.  But with the good always comes the bad.  Such as: fights, a horrible job year, spud dying, being ( Read more... )

 Before, I would have crawled into a bottle with all the stresses going on in my life.  I just need to breathe deep and hope it all straightens out.  Some of it I can probably control, other aspects I cant.  So I guess I just need to make the best out of what I can do and not worry about the rest.  Unfortunately all of this is taking a toll on my ( Read more... )

 Too many thoughts again.  I have soooo much going on in my life and unfortunately I had that feeling of desperation again the other night.  I suck at solving problems on my own.  My stomach definitely took the consequences of my stress that night ( Read more... )

 Wow, my job is definitely a very involved type of career.  I am there from the wee hours of the morning until about 7 or 8 at night.  Tuesdays and Fridays we are in the office making tons of calls trying to book appointments and recruit new agents.  The other days we are driving around to these appointments trying to make sales.  And right now my ( Read more... )

Why does he give me shit over stupid stuff?  I woke up this morning to my husband calling me.  I had gotten home late because I stayed over at my old neighbors, who is very gay, until 1:30 in the morning.  Apparently he didnt like that.  We had stayed up talking and had kidnapped his next door neighbors new puppy that was absolutely adoreable.  The ( Read more... )

 so today i am just kinda blah.  I woke up and my tummy hurt.  I think I am getting my period soon.  Anytime my stomach hurts lately, everyone asks if I am pregnant.  Shit people, just because I am married, doesnt mean that everytime i am sick or my stomach hurts does it mean that I am pregnant.  I am not one to on a whim go out and get knocked up ( Read more... )

 Well, I was definitely surprised last night.  Chris and I had a pleasant weekend to say the least.  Yesterday we opened another bank account and got chris another tattoo.  But in the afternoon, I went out hunting with my father.  I didnt get anything, hell I didnt even see anything.  But I came home, when upstairs to take a shower because chris ( Read more... )

 I dont undestand how somehow my life is falling apart.  I have become very cynical and hateful.  Nothing seems to go my way anymore.  My mother noticed the other day that there is no joy in my eyes anymore.  All there is are looks of sorrow and always near tears.  I have been very blind lately.  I was a grown up when I was a child and yet lately I ( Read more... )

 Life is a rollercoaster once again.  Mostly because I am an emotional mess as of late in my life.  I appreciated having a thick skin when I was younger.  I was less vulnerable to sadness.  If someone hurt me, fuck them, I didnt need them anyways.  Lately I cry at the drop of a hat.  And no, I am not pregnant.  I have been asked that question many ( Read more... )