Live Movie Blogging: Transformers
God, that's a loud voice. Ponderous, much?
The cube? Are we in ST:TNG?
Good vs. Evil. You don't say.
These opening military scenes are a cross between Armageddon and Forest Gump.
And now we're in Independence Day.
Let me guess. Fake pilot, and this is a Transformer?
Yep. And a bad one at that.
Oh, we have the first Michael Bay blow-stuff-up scene! And only seven minutes in.
Man, night sure did fall quick. All the better to show the explosions.
Hey, it's Steve Carrell! Oh wait, it's just that guy from House.
Now we're in National Secrets. And whatcha want to bet that Shia's grandpa discovered some old frozen transformer.
WWJD? Shia, are you kidding me? He'd tell you to respect your elders.
Bernie Mac! I love this guy.
Hey, is the bug-ugly yellow car a Transformer? You think, huh?
NSA recruits out of high school? You have got to be kidding me.
Who's the kid who looks like Kevin Smith?
Jon Voight doesn't do the "rally the troops" speech nearly as well as Bill Pullman did.
A dog that pops pills, climbs bird feeders and wears bling. O-kay.
Yeah, Shia, you're good, but your pal is kinda skanky lookin'.
Hey, it'd be cool if Shia's bug-ugly car beat up on the nasty frat guy!
"This is not a toy"? "Little bunny"? Girl, you need to drop this guy quick.
Weakness for guys with tight abs and big arms... I can't identify with that all. Nope.
The car is trying to get Shia laid!
Even I have to admit that girl is hot. Look at that stomach!
So now the NSA is recruiting Australian high-schoolers? Don't you at least have to be citizen? But maybe that doesn't matter if you're blond and cute.
The stewardess going to get W's Ding-Dongs is going to die!!!
That's a freaky looking Transformer.
Ha! I knew that Ice Man guy was going to come back!
Forget the stewardess, it's the Secret Service guys who are going to die.
That police car has got to be a Transformer, too. Is it just me, or are these really obvious?
So did Bug Ugly Car want to be bought by Shia because he knew the bad guys were going to go after him, or am I giving BUC too much credit?
It's the Bat Sign!
My husband thinks the Australian girl looks like Blair from Facts of Life. Gosh, he's old. *g*
DNA-based computer. Yeah, I read that Robert Ludlum book, too.
"Whoa", indeed! That's a scary looking sucker.
I love the glimpse of the bored guy in the call center. Great touch.
"Left cheek, left cheek!"
0300 Zulu is 6am in Qatar. Way to coordinate time zones and believeable daylight, Michael.
"There's only one hacker in the world who can break this code." And getting it to him/her requires makeup.
Grandma's goin' down!
Shia's escaping from Bug Ugly Car on a pink bike. Sure, that will work!
Roll sideways, Shia, you dummy!
Oh boy, another car standing up. I'm suprised poor Shia hasn't wet his pants yet.
Bug Ugly Car to the rescue!
And of course Hot Stomach Girl shows up just in time to join in on the action.
That girl is way too tan for a brunette.
"He's going to kill me!" Well, he's going to take your pants, anyway.
Hot Stomach Girl comes back with a weapon. I'm starting to like her.
"Fifty years from now, where you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?" - Thatta boy, Shia!
"Safety first"?! Yeah, she's totally into him, because she is way too smart for that.
Bug Ugly Car is now Smooth Hot Car!
Meanwhile, in outer space...
Are those bots going to be picked up on radar?
Yikes, way to aim, guys.
He's going to be a Cadillac! And why not?
Honey, that would be a really ugly tooth fairy.
Shouldn't Optimus Prime be voiced by James Earl Jones? Honestly.
Why do parents in action movies have to be clueless and loud?
I think someone else is going to be distracting your parents, Shia.
John Turturro is a government agent? I don't think so.
Oh, gross, Bumblebee! Screenwriter, did you have to include such a base joke?
Apparently Sector 7 is the new Justice League!
Are they going to kill Bumblebee? No!
Well, at least Optimus got the glasses.
Hey, it's that guy! From, um... West Wing!
The Hoover Dam never looked so good.
Bad little robot!
"Try to keep up with the acronyms." Now I see why John Turturro is playng this role.
"Had the Hoover Dam built around it?" Yeah, we're definitely in some AU National Secrets.
"Get everyone to the NBE One chamber" - are you stupid? You want to be on the same room as Megatron when the Decepticons are attacking?
"We don't take orders from people that don't exist." Damn straight!
The cube is... uncubing?
Way to take charge, Captain! And you're cute, too. :)
Here comes Megatron!
I love the cobwebs on the radios.
Nice U-y, Optimus!
Another big explosion scene!
Such a tiny little robot to create so much havoc. It's like that annoying little ball in Men In Black.
Guys, I don't think those are good F-22s!
Bumblebee! *sniffle*
Too bad that cube isn't just a bit smaller, Shia could stick it under his shirt.
Hot Stomach Girl is hotwiring a truck. Knew that talent would come in handy.
Shia is about to crap in his pants because the Captain told him to climb a building while Hot Stomach Girl is trying to save Bumblebee. And they say men are stronger. *rolls eyes* You go, girl!
Oh, they're gonna kiss!
Hmm, guess not. Kudos on taking the high road, Screenwriter. But I bet it will happen at the end.
"Keep moving, Sam." For heaven's sake, pick him up and carry him! You're a huge strong robot!
The cube brought all the mechanical stuff to life. Whoops.
Hope you aren't afraid of heights, Shia.
Shia put the cube in Megatron's chest! Smart boy!
Where did Bumblebee's voice come from?
I wouldn't be so sure about the Laurentian Abyss thing. Otherwise, where would the sequel come from?
The Captain got to go home, yay!
And Shia and Hot Stomach Girl finally get to kiss! I glad they didn't make a big deal about it, though.
Oh god, the clueless parents are back.
Final thoughts - it was fun and not nearly as cheesy as I expected. It was worth the two hours. :)
The cube? Are we in ST:TNG?
Good vs. Evil. You don't say.
These opening military scenes are a cross between Armageddon and Forest Gump.
And now we're in Independence Day.
Let me guess. Fake pilot, and this is a Transformer?
Yep. And a bad one at that.
Oh, we have the first Michael Bay blow-stuff-up scene! And only seven minutes in.
Man, night sure did fall quick. All the better to show the explosions.
Hey, it's Steve Carrell! Oh wait, it's just that guy from House.
Now we're in National Secrets. And whatcha want to bet that Shia's grandpa discovered some old frozen transformer.
WWJD? Shia, are you kidding me? He'd tell you to respect your elders.
Bernie Mac! I love this guy.
Hey, is the bug-ugly yellow car a Transformer? You think, huh?
NSA recruits out of high school? You have got to be kidding me.
Who's the kid who looks like Kevin Smith?
Jon Voight doesn't do the "rally the troops" speech nearly as well as Bill Pullman did.
A dog that pops pills, climbs bird feeders and wears bling. O-kay.
Yeah, Shia, you're good, but your pal is kinda skanky lookin'.
Hey, it'd be cool if Shia's bug-ugly car beat up on the nasty frat guy!
"This is not a toy"? "Little bunny"? Girl, you need to drop this guy quick.
Weakness for guys with tight abs and big arms... I can't identify with that all. Nope.
The car is trying to get Shia laid!
Even I have to admit that girl is hot. Look at that stomach!
So now the NSA is recruiting Australian high-schoolers? Don't you at least have to be citizen? But maybe that doesn't matter if you're blond and cute.
The stewardess going to get W's Ding-Dongs is going to die!!!
That's a freaky looking Transformer.
Ha! I knew that Ice Man guy was going to come back!
Forget the stewardess, it's the Secret Service guys who are going to die.
That police car has got to be a Transformer, too. Is it just me, or are these really obvious?
So did Bug Ugly Car want to be bought by Shia because he knew the bad guys were going to go after him, or am I giving BUC too much credit?
It's the Bat Sign!
My husband thinks the Australian girl looks like Blair from Facts of Life. Gosh, he's old. *g*
DNA-based computer. Yeah, I read that Robert Ludlum book, too.
"Whoa", indeed! That's a scary looking sucker.
I love the glimpse of the bored guy in the call center. Great touch.
"Left cheek, left cheek!"
0300 Zulu is 6am in Qatar. Way to coordinate time zones and believeable daylight, Michael.
"There's only one hacker in the world who can break this code." And getting it to him/her requires makeup.
Grandma's goin' down!
Shia's escaping from Bug Ugly Car on a pink bike. Sure, that will work!
Roll sideways, Shia, you dummy!
Oh boy, another car standing up. I'm suprised poor Shia hasn't wet his pants yet.
Bug Ugly Car to the rescue!
And of course Hot Stomach Girl shows up just in time to join in on the action.
That girl is way too tan for a brunette.
"He's going to kill me!" Well, he's going to take your pants, anyway.
Hot Stomach Girl comes back with a weapon. I'm starting to like her.
"Fifty years from now, where you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?" - Thatta boy, Shia!
"Safety first"?! Yeah, she's totally into him, because she is way too smart for that.
Bug Ugly Car is now Smooth Hot Car!
Meanwhile, in outer space...
Are those bots going to be picked up on radar?
Yikes, way to aim, guys.
He's going to be a Cadillac! And why not?
Honey, that would be a really ugly tooth fairy.
Shouldn't Optimus Prime be voiced by James Earl Jones? Honestly.
Why do parents in action movies have to be clueless and loud?
I think someone else is going to be distracting your parents, Shia.
John Turturro is a government agent? I don't think so.
Oh, gross, Bumblebee! Screenwriter, did you have to include such a base joke?
Apparently Sector 7 is the new Justice League!
Are they going to kill Bumblebee? No!
Well, at least Optimus got the glasses.
Hey, it's that guy! From, um... West Wing!
The Hoover Dam never looked so good.
Bad little robot!
"Try to keep up with the acronyms." Now I see why John Turturro is playng this role.
"Had the Hoover Dam built around it?" Yeah, we're definitely in some AU National Secrets.
"Get everyone to the NBE One chamber" - are you stupid? You want to be on the same room as Megatron when the Decepticons are attacking?
"We don't take orders from people that don't exist." Damn straight!
The cube is... uncubing?
Way to take charge, Captain! And you're cute, too. :)
Here comes Megatron!
I love the cobwebs on the radios.
Nice U-y, Optimus!
Another big explosion scene!
Such a tiny little robot to create so much havoc. It's like that annoying little ball in Men In Black.
Guys, I don't think those are good F-22s!
Bumblebee! *sniffle*
Too bad that cube isn't just a bit smaller, Shia could stick it under his shirt.
Hot Stomach Girl is hotwiring a truck. Knew that talent would come in handy.
Shia is about to crap in his pants because the Captain told him to climb a building while Hot Stomach Girl is trying to save Bumblebee. And they say men are stronger. *rolls eyes* You go, girl!
Oh, they're gonna kiss!
Hmm, guess not. Kudos on taking the high road, Screenwriter. But I bet it will happen at the end.
"Keep moving, Sam." For heaven's sake, pick him up and carry him! You're a huge strong robot!
The cube brought all the mechanical stuff to life. Whoops.
Hope you aren't afraid of heights, Shia.
Shia put the cube in Megatron's chest! Smart boy!
Where did Bumblebee's voice come from?
I wouldn't be so sure about the Laurentian Abyss thing. Otherwise, where would the sequel come from?
The Captain got to go home, yay!
And Shia and Hot Stomach Girl finally get to kiss! I glad they didn't make a big deal about it, though.
Oh god, the clueless parents are back.
Final thoughts - it was fun and not nearly as cheesy as I expected. It was worth the two hours. :)