Ode to Twinkies
Hostess company is shutting down.
I was so sad to hear about this.
Of course, I ran to the store to stock up on twinkies, but someone beat me to them.
They were all gone.
I did manage to get a couple fruit pies and Ding Dongs.
And I sadly lamented the demise of Hostess snack cakes.
Mom would buy us each our own.
My youngest brother loved the twinkies.
The one between us loved those chocolate cupcakes.
And I got the sno balls.
They were pink back then. A nice soft shade which turned into a weird neon and then even odder shade along the years.
They ended up white- which makes sense given their name.
True- we didn't eat them everyday.
We couldn't afford that.
Still, they were something fun to throw in the lunchbox along with a baloney sandwich and chips.
They were bartering material until the introduction of snack pack pudding.
Alas.
Also were the little powdered donuts. Convenient. Cute.
And I found myself flooded with all the memories of childhood and adolescent snack habits, and on into adulthood when I needed a sugar rush to help with a bad hang-over, and further into adulthood and onto parenthood when I wanted to give the kids something to shut them up.
Gone.
It's all gone.
And at the end of it all, I just wanted a sno ball.
But there's none to be had.
That is, until my daughter found some at her store and bought me two packs.
I tore the package open, knowing this could be the last I ever taste of the marshmallow coconut layer covering chocolate cake and creamy filling.
And I bit into it....
oooh.
You know, I think the memories of these snack cakes had grown dramatically out of proportion.
I think it's the memory of the times and places I ate this crap that stands out the most.
Because when it comes right down to it- this stuff is crap.
I felt my heart stop the second I bit into my last sno ball.
And I have I feeling it's not gonna hang around too long, and is gonna take everything with it.
Either that- or it's gonna stick around in my intestines forever.
Ugh.
It's like that time the city tore down an iconic coffee shop/ restaurant to make room for a high rise (which, by the way- still hasn't been filled with tenants.) And I mourned the loss. The memories. The place in history it held. But then, I remembered the last time I ate there. Everything tasted like fried chicken. The salad tasted like fried chicken. The coffee tasted like fried chicken. Service was always terrible. And they served iced tea in teeny tiny juice glasses. What's up with that?
For the life of me- I woke up and wondered what the hell I was so upset about.
That place was a dump!
So, though I felt I had taken those little snack cakes for granted, the bottom line is- they're really not all that great.
They had been around for generations, but generations have altered their eating habits.
True- they were a guilty pleasure and we, for the most part, grew up with them in our lunches, in our lives, in commercials, and were always just there with the promise of snack food deliciousness and wholesome goodness....
But if the company did not see fit to offer benefits to its employees in order that they keep churning out all this junk. Then, we had all been eating lies.
Same with that annoying pizza guy and all the other ceo's that are whining about health coverage for their workers. It's not the unions, or the workers, or the president at fault- it's mismanagement and greed that are to blame.
All those that supported that pizza guy yesterday should be ashamed of themselves. They pretty much showed up to spit in the faces of the people making their pizzas.
Or all those people that showed up in support of that chicken place that was anti-gay.
I know it was under the guise of freedom of speech- but that's bullshit. Everyone knew that.
Everyone with a brain.
Do you think if the word 'gay' in anti-gay was replaced with 'black' or 'woman' would all those people have still shown up?
Probably.
As one woman proclaimed on the news report- "What's the deal? They serve great food! The food is great!"
How fat can you get?
So, goodbye zingers and twinkies. Adieu sno balls and mini donuts. Au revoir ding dongs and cupcakes. Auf Wiedersehen ho Ho's and the whole lot.
Because until better products are baked from secure and cared for employees who are made to feel like people instead of numbers on the ledger- I'll just keep the memories of the places and people I ate these dried up and/or greasy snack treats with instead of the actual treat.
Watch what you eat.
It could be crap.
It could be 'Great!'
It could be food of the Devil.