What Men Can't Do
So, yesterday morning I woke up with that Hall and Oates song running through my head and it was driving me up the wall.
"Which one? That 'I can't go for that, nooo, no can do'?" my son sang.
"Yep," I answered.
And back when that song first came out, it kinda bothered me.
With it running through my brain, it brought back all that anxiety and confusion and anger.
'Noooo, no can do, I can't go for that, can't go for that, can't go for THAT!'
So I called up my Sweet Baboo.
(Even though we hardly see each other- we're always on the phone.)
Me: "I woke up with that stupid Hall and Oates song in my head."
Him: "Which one? The 'I can't go for that, noooo, no can do?"
Me: "Yep."
He laughs.
Me: "What is it that he can't go for?"
Him: "Huh?"
Me: "What is the THAT that he can't go for- 'noooo, no can do'?"
Silence.
Him: "I don't know."
Me: "Is it the same THAT that Meatloaf would do anything for love but won't do THAT?"
He laughs.
Him: "I don't know."
Me: "Well, you should, because obviously there's something that a guy won't do."
Him: "I don't know what it is."
Me: "I need to know what the THAT is that Hall and Oates and Meatloaf won't do. They'll do anything else for love, but not THAT!"
Him: "I don't know what THAT is."
Me: "Think about it- what won't you do for me?"
Him: "Uh...."
Me: "What is the THAT that you won't do for me, [GG]- I must know! Or is it a secret Guy-thing only guys keep secret among themselves?"
Him: "They've kept it secret from me."
Me: "Well- guess!"
Him: "Cheat on you?"
Me: "No- guys cheat."
Him: "Have a three-way?"
Me: "Nope- guys want three-ways."
Him: "Let you dress me up in women's clothing and put make up on me?"
Me: "Don't you remember those pictures of Oscar De La Hoya?"
Him: "Rob a convenience store? Murder someone?"
Not satisfied with his answers- I didn't respond.
Him: "Tell you what you really look like in a dress that's too small or absolutely hideous- instead of what you want to hear because you really love the dress?"
Me:"Ah!"
Him: "Is that it?"
Me: "I think so...."
Him: "But I'm always honest with you- you look great in a trash bag."
I blush at my end, because he's so full of shit.
Me: "And that's why I love you, [GG]."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Because you're the smartest man in the world."
And I know he was blushing on his end of the phone.
So, anyhoo- This morning, I woke up with that opera song they sang in the Marx Brothers' 'Night at the Opera.'
No qualms about that one.