The Brilliant Royal Divorce Plan Chapter 1
A.N. Just to get a fair idea about the land I’m talking about… I’ve split Japan into its four main islands - Honshu, Hokkaido, Kyushu and Shikoku. They are four separate kingdoms ruled by four separate royal families. The story unfolds on Honshu, the biggest, most powerful kingdom, where Shikoku and Kyushu are it’s allies and Hokkaido in the North is it’s main threat. In this story, Okinawa is under Honshu rule and serves as a holiday retreat for the royal family, with courtesy use to the Kyushu and Shikoku royalties as well. Honshu is ruled under the normal fashion of an Asian kingdom, with officials, generals and such, and an early morning meeting between the emperor and his higher ranked men. (Apart from the random law that same-sex marriage is legal... It's just not very viable to royalty, since they must leave heirs = =')
Taguchi suddenly jerked his head up. Falling asleep during the royal court was not an option for a young king who needed to prove his worth… But THOSE two were really beginning to get on his nerves.
“Sir, you must really start to consider marriage,” one of the men desperately clasped his hands.
“Why would he?” the other scoffed, not even trying to hide his disdain.
“Well, in case YOU haven’t noticed, my dear general, Hokkaido is becoming increasingly restless by the hour and our kingdom needs an heir to cut their hopes of ever invading!”
“I’m sorry but you’re saying an infant who, if we’re lucky, should be born within the next year can stop the threat of invasion for another 18?”
“Better than a one man royal family.”
“Rubbish. The royal family has plenty of people.”
“Oh please Tegoshi, you are by no means royal. A head of an aristocratic family nonetheless, as am I. But even we are not related to the emperor by blood, neither is anybody in this room.”
‘Tegoshi’ snapped his head sideways and stared the other man in the eyes, “Are you saying our bonds made during all those times of war are not to be trusted more than family!? His Majesty’s so-called family planned his very death from the day he was born!”
“Who’s fault do you think it is that His Majesty ended up no relatives in the first place?”
“Let’s not play dumb Nishikido,” Tegoshi retorted, “You gave the order to siege.”
Nishikido laughed, “How long did that siege last? Two and a half days. If they weren’t so scared of your name they would never have committed suicide!”
“Don’t you start attacking me personally Nishikido Ryo!” Tegoshi was visibly becoming upset, “You weren’t even authorised to give that order as an administrative official! Your Majesty, Nishikido Ryo is being ridiculously-
Both men turned to face their emperor, who at that instant was dreaming about his lunch, and putting up no pretences at all.
“JUNNO! Are you even listening?!” Tegoshi yelled, beet red with fury.
“HOW DARE YOU TEGOSHI YUYA! Such insolence, calling His Majesty by such an intimate name with an arrogant tone!” Nishikido Ryo pointed with mock horror, “Your Majesty, surely this cannot go unpunished?”
A wave of murmuring arose from the rest of the officials in the large room. They kept their eyes down, whispering to their neighbours, as the emperor tried to wake up. It was not unusual for this to happen during morning meetings between two of the emperor’s most trusted officials (who have never agreed with each other, despite being inseparable friends), however, when such bickering happens, one can learn most of the dynasty’s history in a short time, plus agitated use of colourful words. To an emperor who is normally busy into the night reading reports from the provinces, such history lessons are unnecessarily boring (it was interesting for his first week on the throne though).
With a sigh, the emperor stood up, rubbing his temples. Politely, he asked, “Aside from this matter, is there anything else of political importance we need to discuss today? If not, today’s morning council will end as of now. Please return to your posts everybody. Thank you.” With a flick of his kimono sleeve, he exited from the meeting chambers with a guard.
A man stepped out from beside the throne. He was nicely built with charming features and a rather large nose that seemed to unbalance his otherwise handsome face. Obviously stressed, he wiped his brow and stooped a little, “On orders of His Majesty the emperor, can alpha general Tegoshi Yuya and head civil administrator Nishikido Ryo report to the royal reading room immediately.”
“Understood.” Both men said in unison, and glanced sideways at each other with a mixture of disdain and worry.
“So why do you think that marriage is completely unnecessary for Junno?” Ryo asked Tegoshi with a quizzical expression on his face. He smirked, “Unless you want to marry him?”
“Dream on Ryo,” Tegoshi sniffed, “as the head of a family, we can never marry into a higher rank, let alone the emperor. Besides, being friends as close as us, wouldn’t it just be weird? Did I mention we are both men?”
Ryo stopped in his tracks along the open garden corridor to the reading chamber. So that’s what’s wrong. Ranks. Damn our family heritage. If we were still the insignificant second sons, we wouldn’t have to worry about this sort of thing would we?
“What’s wrong with you Ryo? You look like a respectable man today… Need a doctor?” Tegoshi joked.
Ryo swiftly attempted to smack him over the head, only to have his hand caught by the other man and thrown against a pole.
Tegoshi Yuya was the second son born to a long line of noble warriors who served under the Taguchi royal family; however, he was the child of a mistress. A beautiful one (that brought out all the cuteness the Tegoshi family is famous for producing) who died under mysterious circumstances. With his exterior, Tegoshi is often underestimated to be a flower boy with no brains - an advantage he often used on the battlefield. After no more than a few battles, Tegoshi had already proven himself quite ruthless in war, an enemy no opposing general wanted to meet lest they get killed horribly. His unusual contradictions in face and ability left many people shocked to see what he is truly capable of, and earned the Tegoshi family residing in Honshu’s capital, Kyoto, a due amount of respect. Tegoshi himself wasn’t a cruel man, just one who was unbelievably skilled with the sword, persistent with leaving nothing to chance, (which means killing all he can reach safely) and who knows exactly how to control a crowd of soldiers. This, coupled with his pristine, cute and even feminine features, make him the devil himself to neighbouring countries in times of conflict.
Ryo pretended to be hurt, and clung on to the pole, groaning loudly, “God Tegoshi, hast we finally come to this day that thou must try to kill me?” He slid to the ground, collapsing, “Oh woe is me, a clever and dashing young man, full of inner peace and tranquillity to die on this fateful- OOOWWWW!!!!!”
Tegoshi had sat on him, commenting on the weather, “Such a beautiful morning.”
“If you two don’t make it to the reading chambers before His Majesty has finished changing,” a voice lightly mocked, “things won’t be pretty.”
“Oh Jin stop it,” Ryo mused, supporting himself on one elbow, “you got the easy job after the war and I’m still jealous. Personal guard to Junno - wait, His Majesty - and you get paid just as well as us two. And you even get to scold us huh?” Ryo gave a wink.
“So it’s already been two years now has it?” Tegoshi got up from the small of Ryo’s back and kicked him lightly, “Since when was the last time we called him Junno and had a drink together?”
“Yesterday evening I recall,” Jin rolled his eyes, “and I had the honour of carrying you home.”
“Bakanishi,” Tegoshi sighed, “I’m trying to be deep and emotional here.”
Within the reading room, Taguchi Junnosuke, emperor of Honshu, sipped at his honeyed tea. “Maru,” he stood up from the tatami, “why do you think Tegoshi is bent on me not having to get married? Sure, I don’t want to marry some random lady but isn’t he being a bit overly protective?” He popped a sugar lump into his mouth.
The man who spoke the last word at the royal court looked up from the game of go (Chinese chess with black and white stones) he was having with himself. “From a royal advisor’s point of view, I’d definitely tell you that he’s planning a rebellion and that you should have him thrown in prison and interrogated.”
“And as a friend whom you’ve known for the past 10 years?”
“I’d say that it’s just him not wanting to agree with Ryo in front of the officials and threw a tantrum because you were sleeping.”
“SO it’s my fault?”
“Oh yes.” Nakamaru Yuichi put down the last go stone. “I can’t win against myself can I?”
“You can’t win a game of go if all your stones alternate colours in a pattern Yuu,” Junno laughed, spilling some of his tea at his joke - finishing the sentence with the same sound as it started.
“Indeed.” An annoyed vein popped up on Maru’s forehead. Thank the gods the public doesn’t know about his sense of humour.
Jin’s mellow voice carried from outside the door, “General Tegoshi Yuya-sama and head civil administrator Nishikido Ryo-sama hereby present themselves to His Majesty.”
“Proceed,” Maru replied.
As the two men strode in, Junno could not help but notice the smudges of dust on Ryo’s clothing. “What happened to Ryo?” He grinned.
“When I encountered them at the garden corridors,” Jin smirked, “the general was quite literally on top of him.”
“Interesting,” Maru tapped at the table, “was it some sort of continuation of this morning’s atrocious argument during the meeting? Or a make-up session?”
“Now now Yucchi don’t get huffy,” Ryo closed his eyes, “If we had an empress, your job as live-in advisor would be a lot easier when Junno has nightmares. And Koki would not have to be in charge of the female servants anymore.”
“That sounds so good, whatever it was supposed to mean,” a rather gruff-looking man intruded from the interiors of the room. Looking closely, he was not really scary, just was very very pissed at that moment. “Those maids are such a handful,” he complained, “under the old system, any vase in this room would be worth more than their lives!”
“Koki,” Tegoshi coughed, “let’s not get material over human lives.”
“Okay okay, I understand you and your human lives thing Tegoshi,” Ryo cut in again, “but his job as head of human resources is actually quite difficult. If we had an empress, Koki would only be left with male servants and chefs, right?” He looked expectantly at Maru, who happened to be in charge of royal family issues as a side job (but since he never had much royals to look after, most had forgotten about that title).
“Woah you guys,” Junno started, “I can see us arguing again, so cool down for a moment. Now that all six of us are here with no unfamiliar faces, can we look at this thing properly?”
“There’s the confidence of a ruler,” Maru chided, “carry on if you may, Your Majesty.”
Like a child who had just been praised, Junno straightened his back and flashed his popular smile, “Let’s see, now that Ryo’s gone and put this idea into the heads into the older officials,” his face darkened, “this marriage is really unavoidable unless something drastic happens.”
“Drastic as in war with Hokkaido?” Tegoshi rubbed his temple, “We’ve all experienced it first hand. Your majesty, you’re not actually considering this seriously, are you?” He took a step forward, eyes set, “ Military expenditure was overwhelming in your fight for your rightful throne and our country cannot afford to start a war. I have no confidence in bringing up the morale of the 180,000 soldiers needed for fighting Hokkaido. Invading would not be the same as defending, I can say now that if we tried to tell our soldiers to invade someone else’s country, we would lose. That is all.”
“As much as I hate to agree with Tesshi Your Majesty,” Ryo grimaced, “Tax revenue is increasing exponentially since you taking power due to increased trade, but right now, we only have the money and grain to comfortable run a country. After taking away from education and welfare administration, there is a surplus, but nowhere near enough to fuel a war of any kind purposefully.”
“So I’m getting married no matter what happens?” Junno leaned back into his cushion, “Sometimes being emperor really leaves me tired.”
“The problem isn’t about getting His Majesty married anymore,” Maru flipped open a book from the shelf, “it’s about whom to marry. Right now, all noble ladies in Kyoto’s vicinity are either not of age or have engagements.”
“What about outside Kyoto?” Koki suggested, “One of the aristocrat ladies?”
“Not viable as head wife,” Jin cut in, “it would cause a power unbalance if the lady directly related to the Lords.”
“Tegoshi,” Maru asked, “Your eldest brother married the eldest princess of Shikoku right? Does she have any sisters?”
“Hell no Maru!” Ryo fairly yelled, “Kyushu merchants pay a heap more tax to us than Shikoku! They are the bigger country, so they didn’t mind when Tegoshi’s brother married over, but if His Majesty were to choose a head wife from Shikoku as well; Kyushu’s emperor would go nuts! He can’t help it if he has only sons. And we have no royal ladies to marry over either.”
“Yeah, he did save us all when we were under siege,” Jin bit his knuckle, “on his own accord too, unlike Shikoku that only helped us because Tegoshi Shinya said so.”
“Okay guys,” Koki scratched his head, “we’re going around in circles. How about a man?”
Everybody apart from Junno gave Koki a smack over the head with the nearest thing they could reach.
“OOOWWW!!” Koki screamed under assault, “What was that for? Ryo! That vase cost a fortune!”
“The whole reason for marriage in this case was to have children!” Ryo put down what was left of the vase, “Find me a man who can give birth to children won’t you?!?!”
Everyone was silent for a while to even their breathing and sat down.
Ryo suddenly jumped up from the tatami after a moment of thought, “Junno I have an idea! If we have to go by men, my second cousin Kamenashi would serve as a brilliant spouse! He’s of the -ya generation, has a beautiful face and is from an established, but not too powerful family! Can I bring him into Kyoto to meet you? The Kamenashis have taken great care of Sendai for a long time and are never late on their taxes either.” Ryo glanced at Tegoshi triumphantly.
“Err Ryo?” Maru frowned, “Aren’t the Kamenashis head of secret services?”
“Ryo, don’t even think of bringing yourself up using this opportunity,” Tegoshi fumed and gripped his sword, “and you contradict yourself too much to be safe.”
“What’s wrong with you today Tegoshi?” Ryo turned to stare, “I was disowned by my father for helping his Majesty yet you are suspecting me of plotting with the secret service?”
“I’m sorry, but I was disowned too and had to face my father on the front line!” Tegoshi started trembling, “Since when did I suspect you of anything?”
“Both of you just stop it!” Jin threw his sword on the ground, “I had to stab my father through the neck! What’s done is done so both of you can just shut up and discuss the problem at hand!”
The tension in the room soared. In fact, on ecould probably have cut it with a blunt katana.
“Sorry,” Tegoshi unclenched his fists, “sorry Junno you have to put up with this.” He lowered his eyes.
“It’s okay,” Junno adjusted his obi, “you’ve all been through a lot with me and I appreciate it. Your families will be rebuilt one day.”
Tegoshi’s eyes flashed.
Oh no, Maru pinched the bridge of his nose, I hate it when he gets that look.
“Speaking of family Your Majesty,” Tegoshi made a fast recovery, “I also have a second cousin from the Morioka-ken ruling family who’s been living on my family estate since before the war - and doesn’t even know the ruling Uedas well enough to cause a political disturbance. Ueda Tatsuya has Tegoshi bloodline therefore would be much more aesthetically pleasing than anyone related to Nishikido, wouldn’t one think?”
“So why are we back to men again?” Koki exasperated.
“But I’ve heard all ladies in the Ueda clan have male names,” Jin sounded impressed, “is it true?”
“Of course,” Maru flipped through his book, “they are also the hardest family to track so I’ve omitted them from my reports today. It sounds viable though.”
“Well, if Tegoshi has a girl to present I guess I can’t say much can I?” Ryo hung his head, “Is she pretty?”
“You have no idea,” Tegoshi beamed with a glint in his eyes.
In the Tegoshi residence, an arrow missed the target in the archery range altogether. Clad in white, a stunningly beautiful man, Ueda Tatsuya, sneezed.
PS, So, this has actually been posted somewhere else before, but I decided to put it on lj because I've read so many here and it might be nice to share LOL comments are my life, so DO IT! XD