LJ Idol Season 10, Week 3 , The Brushback Pitch

[mrstotten]

The sun sneaks through a crack in the blinds, the light fnding your eyes directly, refusing to leave you in peace.  You can hear your father’s heavy footsteps as he leaves the house, your mums voice singing quietly off key as she prepares breakfast.  The house smells like coffee and too much heat and you try to burrow back under the covers, hoping

Comments

[rayaso]

This was an excellent story, and you did a great job capturing the hopeless misery of this poor child, as well as the "just under the radar" bullying he experiences. Very well done!

[mrstotten]

Thank you so much :)

I was worried about this piece as I always panic about fiction. Never sure if I hit it right so you're lovely comments means a lot

[eternal_ot]

This is a wonderful take. My heart went out for the kid and it kept me engaged till the end. Really well written! Kudos! Good Job!

[mrstotten]

thank you very much, I always worry about getting the voice right so I'm glad it worked for you :)

Thanks for commenting

[dreamersdare]

Okay, so. I may, possibly, have had some experience with this and I have to say, you have absolutely fucking nailed it.

The familiar dread had begun as you closed off Sunday night, tossing and turning in your bed as you prepared for the morning to come.

This. Oh my god, this. I can't even articulate how true this rings.

Also, this:

But you never do, see you’ve never actually been bullied. No-one has ever hit you, there has been no physical contact and the words are never at you, they are around you.

No lie, I actually snarled at my computer when I read that. Boyfriend is vaguely confused about what the hell I am doing on the internet at the moment :)

This is so good, honey. You are genuinely one of the most talented people I know, please don't let anyone let you believe otherwise.

[mrstotten]

Okay, so. I may, possibly, have had some experience with this and I have to say, you have absolutely fucking nailed it.

One I'm very sorry you have :9 but two thank you so much honey xx you have no idea how much confidence you give me in writing xxx

Have some Jared doing push ups as a thank you :)

[veritas_st]

Oh angel you know I love this. I loved it when I read it before and I still love it now. Just heartbreaking and I want to scoop up the protagonist and cuddle them forever.

xxx

[mrstotten]

I love you !!

Also thank you and thanks for putting up with my panic attacks :)

[sinnamongirl]

Thank you for your entry!

[mrstotten]

thank you for reading :)