Your Secret Admirer - Part II
Your Secret Admirer (sister story to My Public Enemy)
Long One shot, seperated into parts
Romance, Drama, AU
Beta Reader: faithful5
PART I
PART II
Describe how you imagine your ideal family in the future!
I stared at the paper blankly. Why does the teacher like to make us imagine things we haven’t thought about?
I scratched my head, trying to think of something.
Hmmm.,,
I mouthed the tip of my pencil. Closing my eyes and trying to think of a family. Family. Children. Wife. Person you want to spend your entire life with.
A quite real image flash before my eyes.
I snapped open my eyes and shook my head forcefully. Not him, please!
Think of someone. With… Black hair! Long hair to be precise. An image start to formed inside my head.
Hmm, that’s something entirely not Jaejoong.
With big eyes, pink lips, fair creamy skin.
…..
Ok, whatever. I’ll just write it.
After one hour of writing, my umma called me, she said that dinner’s ready. “One minute, umma!” I yelled back. I took one last glance at my paper, feeling accomplished. I ran downstairs, even from upstairs I can smell the nice aroma of, “Kimchi-jigae!” I yelled in delight.
I quickly took a sit and eat the food in pure happiness.
“Hey, Yunho-ah, is it good?”
I only nodded in reply, since I stuffed too much food inside my mouth.
“Oh, I knew it, Jaejoong is really something,” my mother said, I eyed her curiously, wondering what are they talking about.
“Hey, Ha Na also liked Jigae very much, you can teach her to cook this super tasty Jigae. Come on, Jaejoong will you be my son in law?” my mother continued.
I choked at that. For several reasons.
I coughed again and again. I gulped down a glass of water. “He-he’s the one who made this?” I managed to ask.
“Yes, Yunho-ah…”
I froze, “Your food almost killed me,”
Sometimes, I wondered just how many times you can actually saying something entirely different from your true intention, because I had done that too many times, with him around.
I headed to my room, locked the door, walked to my desk and took a look at my essay.
“In the future, I want to have a happy family, consist of my wife, and many children around. I preferred daughters though.
I don’t need a beautiful or smart wife (as long as she can gave me pretty daughters). What I want is that she has to be someone who’s kind-hearted and warm. She has to be a great cook, so I can ask her to cook for me whenever I want. Additionally, she has to be someone who is attentive of me and our children.
It will be better, if my family loves her.”
“Haaa~” I sighed heavily. Someone really fit this. I sighed again, when I thought of that someone as my brother in law.
***
Over the time, I managed to name my feelings towards Kim Jaejoong. After I graduated from elementary school, I know I like Kim Jaejoong. After 2 years in Junior High, I realized it’s not like or crush anymore… I love Kim Jaejoong.
By the time, the feeling isn’t weakening; in fact it gets stronger by every second. Every minute, every time I saw him, every time I interact with him, it gets stronger and stronger.
I knew if I stayed like this, if I stayed near Jaejoong after I graduated from Senior High I will be obsessed with him. I don’t want it to happen. It’s not healthy for me and certainly not right and fair at all for Jaejoong.
That’s why, several months before I graduated, I had decided and announced: I will study abroad, to avoid Kim Jaejoong.
To kill this feelings.
***
It’s not easy at all. No it never was. Even after separated by the oceans, by miles apart, it was not easy to forget Kim Jaejoong. I found it hard to believe that I can’t forget Kim Jaejoong. Now I know, somethings are just meant to be engraved deeply in your heart and mind. Kim Jaejoong is one of those some things, in my case.
I studied hard, so I won’t have free time to think about someone who’s miles away from me.
When holiday comes, I won’t come home, to avoid any chance of meeting him.
I tried hard not to ask anything about him, when my parents called or when I replied Ji Hoon hyung’s email. Really, I tried.
“So umma, how’s the thing going on there?” I asked, smiling while talking over the phone with my umma.
“It’s fine; however, things still aren’t the same without you around us. It’s two years already, however I still can’t get used to it…”
“I heard Ha Na had delivered a baby?”
“Yeah, she had. Now, I have a cute grandson named Yoo Seung Ho!”
“Yoo Seung Ho?” I asked, confused.
“Yah! Yunho, I know you’re not here in Ha Na’s marriage, but at least bear in mind her husband’s family name!” Umma scolded me right away.
“Ohhh…” is all I can manage.
“You can’t even go home in her wedding, what kind of brother are you? Luckily we have Jaejoong here… He helps us from the marriage until now… Such a kind boy he is…”
My heart race at the mention of his name, “Ja-Jaejoong?” It feels so wonderful to mention his name again. It rolled automatically from my tongue and tasted so sweet, So, he’s still around?
“Yeah, Jaejoong, don’t tell me you suddenly forgot who Jaejoong is,”
“Hahaha,” I laughed awkwardly, how nice if it actually happens...
When umma explained about Jaejoong’s role on Ha Na’s marriage and his help in Seung Ho’s birth, I can’t say a word. I only imagined all of that in my head and perhaps, by doing so, I had engraved him more deeply.
“Oh my, what a coincidence, he’s here!”
“Wha-what?” I stammered at the sudden announcement.
“Jaejoong, what brought you here?” I heard my mother talking to a person.
“Ji Hoon asked me to drop this book here…”
His voice still as smooth as ever, I can even picture his smile as he said all this.
“Guess who I’m talking with?” my mother asked him with excitement.
“Who, aunty?” He asked, his voice sounds clearer and closer by now, which make my heart race again. “Um-umma, don’t tell me, yo-”
“It’s Yunho! Don’t you want to talk to him?”
“But- I”
“Come on, we were just talking about you seconds ago…”
No, no, no!
Just like that, me, the Great Jung Yunho chose to hang up the phone.
***
“I need a lover,” I said suddenly to Yoochun, another Korean I know here. We met on our first days in university. Yoochun has a nice and outgoing personality; we connected to each other quickly. After that, although we’re from different faculty; Yoochun is majoring in music, we always hang around each other.
“What’s wrong with you? I thought you don’t need anyone…” Yoochun chuckled.
“Damn you, of course everyone needs another person,” I sighed heavily.
“So, what do you want?”
“Help me with this, you’re an expert in love right?” Yoochun smirked instantly, “You asked the right person, kid. So, what do you want? A girl or a boy?”
“Why are you asking?”
“Because you radiated the “I’m bi” aura,” his hand moved extravagantly, “Now, just answer it.”
I frowned at that, “I never know. Perhaps, we should try with a girl,”
***
After various tries out with numerous girls, months after that, Yoochun suddenly came to me, “So, Liu Wen how is she?”
I made an “X” movement showing that I’m not with her anymore, it made Yoochun scowled.
“It is okay if I started to ask for your preference by now right?” he asked so casually.
I choked on the cola, however after some time, I nodded. “I guess so,”
They stayed in silent after that, drown in their own thought.
“Hey,” Yoochun called, breaking the silence, “Do you realize you always choose a girl who looks like a rebel with big eyes, pointed nose and white skin? And all of them somehow like to pout,”
After my jaw dropped, Yoochun shrugged, “Just so you know,”
***
“Why must I-?” I asked over the phone.
“Because this is MY marriage, and I AM YOUR BROTHER,” Ji Hoon hyung emphasized once again.
“But, I-”
“You just graduated few weeks ago. Don’t give me another reason!” Ji Hoon said, “For God sake, Yunho, you never came home for seven years! SEVEN YEARS! You. Can’t. Missed. My. Wedding,” Ji Hoon hyung threatened with finality, before he hung up.
***
So, yeah, because I’m such a good younger brother, finally, I decided to board the plane heading home. Rather than thinking about my future sister in law; what she would look like, is she really in love with my brother or- uhm- what’s her name again? I constantly think about a certain someone with big doe eyes, creamy white skin, blonde hair and the ways to avoid him, since I’m 100% sure, he’s still around. Somehow.
***
I paid the taxi fare and took my bags towards the building I once called home. It’s still my home, but- who’s getting so nervous when they came home?
I pressed the bell, while waiting I took a deep breath and prepared a smile for my family.
Uhm, too wide... Too awkward, perhaps just like th-
The door opened revealing a person with black hair and big doe eyes, who stared right into my eyes.
Wait I know those eyes...
But it can’t be, he can’t be...
“JAEJOONG!!! Is it really him?”
Ok, that’s the answer I need.
However before I can say anything, I felt something glomped onto me and I laughed as I realized that something turned out to be my one and only sister. I laughed as my mom pulled my hand and dragged me inside. They’re still just like before.
But...
He changed, I thought as I looked at him.
***
“Introduce yourself to these little dudes here!” my dad commanded me, as he pointed to two little devil boys, who is now currently hugging his legs. I smiled as the older boy threw a smart remark, and hugged them, “Hi, I’m your uncle, Yunho!”
I smiled again when I looked up, I hugged my dad, who whispered, “Welcome back, son! We miss you!”
When I hugged Ha Na noona, she gave me a sloppy kiss in return at my cheek. As I made a disgusting sound, she hit my back and we laughed again.
“Hyung,” I said, he immediately introduced me to the girl beside him, who I presumed as, “My fiance, Hyo Joo,” he said proudly. Oh, yeah. Hyo Joo. I smiled at her and proceeded to my mother, whose eyes glistened by now, “My umma!” I said, “Why are you crying?” I whispered.
“Because I have a stupid son,”
I laughed again and proceeded to the next person, who had approached me and...
My (ultraman) alarm activated immediately. “Okay, let’s eat everyone!” I announced, while heading to the chair.
***
Okay, step one completed.
I praised myself inside, for not losing control and staring openly at Jaejoong. In fact, I had acted as if he’s not here.
“Yunho!”
I didn’t need to turn around to realize whose voice is that, Speak of the devil. I took a really deep breath before looking back at Jaejoong.
He stuttered. I notice, since when did he stuttered? He used to be so confident.
Jaejoong scratched his scalp, making his hair a little bit messy, a habit he had when he’s nervous. The current black hair fits him too. It contrasted nicely with his white skin.
Oh God, he’s still cute. I eyed his movements. His tousled hair makes him looks so…
“You what, Kim Jaejoong? Continue, quickly!” I said, since I want to be away from him as soon as possible. Don’t make it harder for me.
“We share a room!” Jaejoong said.
SAYWHAAATT?
God, I want to be away from this man. That’s my prayer I chanted since I board the plane, but now, God must be joking with me. He’s not only around permanently, but we also share a room!
I have to give my parents a piece of my sick mind.
“Ok, I won’t sleep there! I will sleep here, on the sofa. Don’t blame them, please!” Jaejoong beg.
“Suit yourself,” as long as we’re not in a room.
***
“But this sofa is so hard,” I heard Jaejoong’s voice again.
I stayed silent, while I heard every curses coming from that mouth. I watched him from the stairs, since I can’t fall asleep even though I tried.
I know, I’m cruel to let him be like that. And I regretted it, that’s why I was down here; I want to ask him to go upstairs. However, when I reached the stairs, I heard him talking to himself, or more like cursing me…
So I wait here. After a few minutes with no sounds coming from the living room, I tiptoed towards the sofa. From the constant rise and down of his body, I know he’s asleep already.
I watched his sleeping face for a while, and realized the only thing changed about him is his hair.
However, he’s still as gorgeous as ever with dark hair like that.
“What are you, Kim Jaejoong?” I whispered, “What spell had you chanted over me?”
After realized that I had watched him sleep for too long, I tried to carry him to the bedroom. I gasped as I realize how heavy he is (despite his look),
“This gonna be hard,” I muttered.
***
I stretched my body. I can’t sleep the night before, yeah let’s blame one certain person for that. After taking a long nap with jetlag as the reason, I decided it’s time to wake up and head downstairs.
I almost missed a step, because of the scene that greeted me.
Jaejoong laughing and playing with Seung Gi.
After some time and Jaejoong is not around anymore, I realized I was just daydreaming. Dreaming of an ideal future family, with Jaejoong as a set.
Why can’t I just have you as my wife from the beginning?
***
I can’t sleep again. I turned around slowly and I can see his face up close. He sleeps on his stomach.
He still is beautiful, even with frown decorating his sleeping face. Is it because of the tease I threw at him earlier?
Somehow I was hoping that Jaejoong will look at me and like me. I didn’t know from which I had the courage to tease him like that. Especially, about not attacking someone when they’re asleep.
Those precautions should be addressed to Jaejoong, he looked so pretty and cute at the same time, when he’s asleep.
I stroked his bang and touched his cheek softly.
“It’s suppose to be a sin to be this beautiful,”
***
Finally, the day had arrived. The event everyone waited.
In my point of view, Hyung’s wedding is a blast. Ji Hoon hyung looked so handsome with that well tailored suit and Hyo Joo’s white dress made her look so pretty. They look like a perfect couple.
The church was decorated prettily with roses everywhere. The reception held in a small garden with musical group playing sweet melodies at the corner. Especially, when Jaejoong decided to sing. God, his voice is really wonderful. I wonder why he had not become a successful singer or song writer, despite all of his effort to become one. He had all the talent and look people looking for.
I totally enjoy every minute of it. However, I decided I can’t enjoy it anymore when my considerate parents started introducing girls to me and told me to dance with them.
Starting from the shy Sun Mi who is 4 years younger than me.
To the awkward lady, Soo Bin who can stand 15 minutes of silent.
Next is, the almost perfect lady, Kim Mi Na, who is so sweet and all, but I just don’t like her in that way.
After the fifth girls, I decided it was enough and I should run away from my parent’s torture. I found the perfect camouflage in no time. Sitting alone in a corner. I took his hand and quickly dragged him to the dance floor, before my father pushes another girl towards me.
I ignored his protest, when can I have this kind of chance again? Dancing with the one and only Kim Jaejoong, who looks so handsome and pretty at the same time.
“Done using me? I’m dead tired, let me go,”
In the back of my mind, I felt sorry for using him like this; however, I can’t help but notice his last sentence. Let me go.
I can’t. He didn’t know how far my effort is to let him go.
“No, I won’t. I can’t,” I answered truthfully, with many meanings behind those sentences.
“Don’t you hate me? Since you were a child?” Jaejoong asked bitterly.
Did I heard right? Hate him? Since when? How can I? How can he think so?
“I didn’t hate you,” I answered after contemplating on my answer, all the while still hold him and danced with him.
“You didn’t?” Jaejoong widened his eyes in a mock-surprise, “Wow, that’s a revelation to me,”
“Really, I didn’t,” I said seriously.
“Then, what should I call it? You always glared at me, being rude and harsh to me,”
“I did?” I chuckled a little.
It seemed my slips off from my childhood days already planted a firm image inside of Jaejoong.
“Yes, you totally did,” Jaejoong moved back a little and moved forward again, “Don’t act so innocent right now. It’s years too late, you’re already guilty in my eyes,”
Am I really too late?
“Sorry,” I said, and really mean it. I looked in his eyes, so that he can receive the meaning of those words and perhaps something more.
“Why did you do that then? If you didn’t hate me,”
I love you, Kim Jaejoong! I never hate you. All I want is you. After 7 years of seperation, now it’s all crystal clear.
How I wanted to answer his question with that. But, it will be a mental break down for the other.
When the song came to an end, I told him, “Its complex. Really, it’s really complicated,”
Hoping it will be an adequate explanation, at least for now.
***
PART III
AN: Drop a comment in the last part please! :D