Well, I'd like to see more on this thing with Pen and those books. And perhaps Natalie too. Sorry I can't offer much more help, but it's early in the morning and I'm not thinking properly just yet. -.-; Hope to see you online today! :)
(*bites lip*) I so need to read what came before this.
Excellent first three chapters: jump right into the swing of the plot, strong character interaction, nicely paced and and just enough recap from before (enough that, even without having read it, I can follow).
My only nitpick is that we could use just a tad more context for Ral and June. We get enough for the other characters, but for some reason these two seem to be just a tad more...floating, where they are. Ug. Am not making sense.
Janus and Lyndsey are even less grounded in the text, but that feels intentional--at any rate, it seems natural and does not irk.
All in all, grabs the reader right away and keeps their attention. Seems like a good start to me....
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Hope to see you online today! :)
~S.
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Excellent first three chapters: jump right into the swing of the plot, strong character interaction, nicely paced and and just enough recap from before (enough that, even without having read it, I can follow).
My only nitpick is that we could use just a tad more context for Ral and June. We get enough for the other characters, but for some reason these two seem to be just a tad more...floating, where they are. Ug. Am not making sense.
Janus and Lyndsey are even less grounded in the text, but that feels intentional--at any rate, it seems natural and does not irk.
All in all, grabs the reader right away and keeps their attention. Seems like a good start to me....
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Or maybe some Organizational stuffs.
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