*blushing* (correction post)

[ms_jinxme]

*laughing & blushing* Sorry for the cliff-hanger! LJ kept doing funny stuff with my post, & then work applied it’s ‘10am sharp’ block ~ so all I could do was see the comments come in with no ability to log on. Right, here’s the full story:

Yesterday was not a good day... :-(

Catching up with emails last Monday at work , I was greeted by this email

Comments

[evil_mogwai]

Ok, shes way too uptight about all this.

All you were doing (as far as I can see) is saying "life may change, let me know if they have any particular hang ups". This is the point of telling you that

Cat A wouldn't be suitable because they'd been in a house before where they were kicked if the baby/child was crying

or

Cat B prefers isolation and snarled at a prior house-mate before being rescued.

Also who says that when you do have a child that you will stay on the narrow boat?

Honestly it looks like she's too overprotective and jumping at any opportunity to reject people.

[ms_jinxme]

Thank you! That was what I felt too. I got so f***ing dishearted yesterday I just lost the will for all - pardon my french.

In my final email to her I did state briefly that if a 'baby' situation occured I would move out of the boat, but that this was just becoming too difficult so I withdrew my application anyway. I was really down yesterday. Didn't feel better until I'd had my evening swim in the pool. :-(

[alixandrea]

I wonder if her issue was really with the boat scenario and anything additional to that in her mind was an instant reason to turn you down. An awful lot of people seem to have this idea that boats and cats don't mix, seemigly forgetting the history of ships' cats and other such things. I would have seen your email as being a sign of commitment to a cat - you're thinking about your future with the cat and alll the possible scenarios and you want to make sure that you and the cat in question gel completely, having overlapping needs and personalities.

I agree, this person is being WAY too uptight and will therefore just have to wait around a lot longer for their foster cats to be given new permanent homes. In my mind, the ones who lose out in this scenario are the poor cats themselves. :-(

[ms_jinxme]

I was wondering yesterday if I was over reacting, but when there's been weeks of things like this there's a point I can't hold it in anymore - it was like a wall of constant suspicion where I had over & over again offered willingness/openness (pretending I wasn't noting her negative air). It got so immensively depressing yesterday it was affecting my desire to have a cat - & that would definitely be the homeless cats loosing out... :-(

Thanks for supportive opinion though - it helps!

[sushiho]

It sounds like she is being overly self-important/officious to the detriment of her job. Surely if foster care for children (or indeed all animal rehoming) was down to the whims of one individual as to whether they 'felt' you were right or passed illogical judgement on hypothetical scenarios, then no child or cat would ever get homed! Surely reason & discussion is what reaches the correct outcome for both potential owner and cat - which is the process you were entering into by looking at different scenarios, seeing what may fit best for cat and you ... sounds much more like a personal grudge or decision to have a hissy fit on her part, than her being professional, willing to go through due process, and find the right outcome (however long it takes!) for rehoming at least one of the cats in her care. IMHO she's not doing her job by sending you a response like that

[ms_jinxme]

*hugs* Encouragement means a Lot (I'm actually going a bit wobbly)... It wasn't her job per say; 'Paws for life' I think are all volunteers. I wouldn't really have minded either her first or last email if they'd been phrased as questions instead of assumptions - her negativity was really overwhelming. Especially when dealing with negative things in my own life already (although tail end).

I did wonder after her last email who does get a cat from her. If people are either a/professionals, b/a family or c/old, I can imagine her go a/'you work too much to give time for a cat', b/ 'you have kids' and c/ 'you may die any day'. It seems she is looking for a perfect scenario? Or just somehow got her back up against me/my home from the start. :-/

[sushiho]

Well by job I just meant 'fulfiling the role in which she's acting' - seems so arsey to volunteer to help rehome cats, then reject potential good homes who already have a proven track record of rehoming and looking after cats, based on some hypothetical idea that *no* cat exists that *might* be able to cope *if* you have a baby at some unspecified time in the future ...

You'll get there, and it will be a Good Thing when you do. I am dying to have a cat too, but then I have been for the past 10 years while in rented accommodation & unsuitable living arrangements. One day, though, I know I'll be giving a rescue cat a good home, even if it still might be years away!

[ms_jinxme]

Ha, well come to me then & I'll tell where *not* to get it from!!! ;-)

I hope you get that home soon where a cat (or two!) can fill your life! :-DDD

[vampyresheep]

Sometimes wonder if these people really want the cats to go to homes!
My boss at my old place got rejected on the basis that they weren't married, therefore a risk of unstable environment to keep a pet - bearing in mind that they were in their late 50's and had lived and worked together for over 30 years!
I'm sure some shelters must be better than others but in their case they just gave up and got a cat from a reputable breeder instead.

[ms_jinxme]

What?!! That's crazy!! And gives weight to the comment I just responded with to Sushiho. Do you know which shelter this was? (so I can well avoid it!!!)

[vampyresheep]

They lived out in Marlowe, so probably in Bucks area.

I guess these people get so devoted to the care of the animals, can only imagine what state some must be that come in, that they take it all too personally. Trying to ensure the perfect home for them, with rose tinted spectacles.

[ms_jinxme]

True, & I can emphasise with that, but then I also hear they keep having to turn cats away because of lack of room. It just seems a bit crazy.. But ah, well: tomorrow is a new day. Next week I'll get the strength to start over with some other shelter; I'll give myself time off for the weekend though.

[crookedmonkey]

I know you're after a rescue cat - but just to let you know in case it's of any interest - my friend is taking on a pregnant rescue cat and has put a shout out for anyone who want a kitten in about four months.

[ms_jinxme]

Ah, I'm really looking for an oldish scruffy cat first & foremost, but thank you very much for thinking of me! :-D

[flavius_m]

Gosh. The others have already said everything that crossed my mind when I read your post. Bit stuck up, this person; I wonder how many of her charges do end up homed... I'm sure it's not like that everywhere..

[ms_jinxme]

By the sounds of both mine & others' experience elsewhere, it unfortunately appears to be like that with most shelters: people who work closely with rescue cats find it hard to retain an emotional distance after a while. I'm sure there's a case of degrees though, but I'll need to build up some new energy/patience/goodwill before trying elsewhere... :-I