Comments | ms_kilian: It takes a village to raise a child; but must I be a villager?

ms_kilian

It takes a village to raise a child; but must I be a villager?

Mar 27, 2009 18:33

Although I have chosen a child-free existence, I do from time to time enjoy interacting with and getting to know children. As with adults, there are some kids whose company I do not enjoy, and others whom I look forward to seeing again. I like to think that, in general, kids like hanging out with me too.

I have noticed a pattern of behaviour in the ( Read more... )

other people's kids, sca, village syndrome

Comments 10

ms_kilian March 29 2009, 02:41:06 UTC

Thank you everyone for your comments, feedback and suggestions. mrsbrown, I am sorry that my comments offended you; it was truly not my intention.
I will continue to mull over what has been said, and welcome any further comments, observations, suggestions.
From now on I will take more ownership of my enjoyment of SCA events and be more pro-active in my interactions with kids. If I don’t feel like hanging out with kids I’ll let them know, in a sensitive and age appropriate way. If I am concerned about a child, be it their safety or behaviour, I will try to raise my concerns with the parental(s) as early as practicable.
And for the record, please do not feel you cannot or should not ask me watch/mind your kids. If I am available I am happy to do so; if not I’ll let you know.

celsa March 29 2009, 07:30:52 UTC

I've been experimenting with bringing my children to SCA events over the few years I have been participating. People regularly asked me why I did not bring my children, and honestly there are a number of reasons. I do not want the behaviour of my children to impinge on other people's enjoyment, and I used to fear putting myself in a position where I would be judged to be a neglectful parent ( ... )

ms_kilian March 29 2009, 08:23:21 UTC

I'm glad to be part of it all, , but I hope that my girls and I do not reduce anyone's SCA enjoyment. I can be pretty oblivious, so I also hope that if they were to do so, I'd be made aware of it directly so that I could make necessary adjustments.
I think the ability to communicate openly really helps everyone manage (SCA) life better.
At the risk of sounding too much like a pop psychologist, I really like one of Montel William's lines: "Speak without offending; listen without defending". I try to bring that to my interactions with all SCAdiens, no matter their age. Some days I am more successful than others.

celsa March 29 2009, 09:24:46 UTC

Well, please let me know if my kids do things you find unacceptable.

(The comment has been removed)

I don't understand this, *boot* felinophile March 30 2009, 00:31:58 UTC

Ms Angora is an extreme example, but yes. Utterly flabbergasted!

On the whole, I just don't understand children. And I don't want to. The only thing a parent can expect of me is that I won't intentionally harm their child. Nothing else at all unless we've discussed and agreed upon it. I'm under no obligation whatsoever to intervene if your child is in danger, nor even to notice if they are. That I probably would is beside the point.

Just like adults, some children are fun and interesting to be around. Others are not. The latter, of whichever side of voting age, are cordially invited to stay out of my space.