IT'S NOT AN UPDATE
I just feel like talking to anybody and spill everything out...
Well, hello there. I'm showing up again but not with an update. It's been a long time right I haven't post but I am having a hard time in my exam now. My mid test was horrible and I don't wan any damage with my final mark this semester. And this is what makes me become the biggest jerk on earth.
I JUST MADE MY BEST FRIEND WHOM I TREAT AS MY SISTER HATE ME ENOUGH FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE..
I am so depressed about my tomorrow exam. I got C for the mid test and i have to get an A for this exam tomorrow. I don't want any damage in my final score and in my mind i only think and care about this. It causes a headache to me.
My best friend just passed a big problem yesterday. She tried the enrollment exam once again because she wants to join Medical major not Pharmaceutical major, but she failed again. She was sad and I felt sorry too for her. But deep in my heart I also felt a little bit happy because it means she won't move and she can stay here.
I know i am being selfish but my friends now in the college are making me sick. They act like they are nice to me but at my back they talk about me maybe they hate me too. I don't understand them, one of them like to talk about our friends at their back and that make me think they also talk about me. Another one even calls us and ME included here as a fake friends. Some are often talk bad about ME at twitter. I felt left out because of them and they make me can't trust people easily. I finally understand "Don't judge the book by it cover's means". They are just not the same with what I imagine.
That things above make me only trust this best friend of mine since senior high. She is kind and do not tell fake things to me. Sometimes she act annoyingly but that's just her. She only act like that in front of me by the way and I have no problem with that. She is one year older that me but sometimes act like a little girl and I have this urge to keep an eye on her because she has some kind of problems that people won't understand and I need patience to talk to her when she is in one of THAT mood. Sometime she told me that she is bored with everything and she wants to end it.
And today I have became the biggest asshole to her. I was depressed and i told her about this. She told me to think happily and not to think the exam too much BUT RUDELY, I told her that nothing can make me happy now except having a good mark and my average score at the end of this semester won't be lower that before. THERE. I made her felt insulted. F*ck my fingers for typing such a rude text to her.
She thought that she is useless, a burden to her Mom and a burden to ME. She felt like she disturbed and even couldn't make me feel better from my exam depressed mind. And she said GOODBYE and told me that she won't disturb me anymore..
But she is the one that i can trust and share everything with. I know I am being selfish again and again and I feel REALLY SORRY about that. For god sake, she always try being nice and care about my fucked up life, listening to my rant, listening too all my damn love story and that damn guy over there, listening to my sobs every time I feel like crying BUT I still cannot understand her.
I FEEL LIKE THE MOST FUCKED UP FRIEND IN THE WORLD.
PS: I'll try to update as soon as my exam finish. It means NEXT WEEK
Well, hello there. I'm showing up again but not with an update. It's been a long time right I haven't post but I am having a hard time in my exam now. My mid test was horrible and I don't wan any damage with my final mark this semester. And this is what makes me become the biggest jerk on earth.
I JUST MADE MY BEST FRIEND WHOM I TREAT AS MY SISTER HATE ME ENOUGH FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE..
I am so depressed about my tomorrow exam. I got C for the mid test and i have to get an A for this exam tomorrow. I don't want any damage in my final score and in my mind i only think and care about this. It causes a headache to me.
My best friend just passed a big problem yesterday. She tried the enrollment exam once again because she wants to join Medical major not Pharmaceutical major, but she failed again. She was sad and I felt sorry too for her. But deep in my heart I also felt a little bit happy because it means she won't move and she can stay here.
I know i am being selfish but my friends now in the college are making me sick. They act like they are nice to me but at my back they talk about me maybe they hate me too. I don't understand them, one of them like to talk about our friends at their back and that make me think they also talk about me. Another one even calls us and ME included here as a fake friends. Some are often talk bad about ME at twitter. I felt left out because of them and they make me can't trust people easily. I finally understand "Don't judge the book by it cover's means". They are just not the same with what I imagine.
That things above make me only trust this best friend of mine since senior high. She is kind and do not tell fake things to me. Sometimes she act annoyingly but that's just her. She only act like that in front of me by the way and I have no problem with that. She is one year older that me but sometimes act like a little girl and I have this urge to keep an eye on her because she has some kind of problems that people won't understand and I need patience to talk to her when she is in one of THAT mood. Sometime she told me that she is bored with everything and she wants to end it.
And today I have became the biggest asshole to her. I was depressed and i told her about this. She told me to think happily and not to think the exam too much BUT RUDELY, I told her that nothing can make me happy now except having a good mark and my average score at the end of this semester won't be lower that before. THERE. I made her felt insulted. F*ck my fingers for typing such a rude text to her.
She thought that she is useless, a burden to her Mom and a burden to ME. She felt like she disturbed and even couldn't make me feel better from my exam depressed mind. And she said GOODBYE and told me that she won't disturb me anymore..
But she is the one that i can trust and share everything with. I know I am being selfish again and again and I feel REALLY SORRY about that. For god sake, she always try being nice and care about my fucked up life, listening to my rant, listening too all my damn love story and that damn guy over there, listening to my sobs every time I feel like crying BUT I still cannot understand her.
I FEEL LIKE THE MOST FUCKED UP FRIEND IN THE WORLD.
PS: I'll try to update as soon as my exam finish. It means NEXT WEEK