As the mother of an Asperger child

[msagara]

I want to talk around the edges of the events at Readercon. I've never attended; I've only -- until now -- heard good to great things about it.

But in the wake of the events that occurred there, I've seen a few comments that crop up from time to time - always as an excuse or a defense of harassment: It's Aspie behaviour. He probably doesn't know

Comments

Doesn't sound like autistic to me either

[wen_spencer]

My autistic son is turning 20. Yes, he has personal space issues we've worked on since he's been 5. Yes, he'll charge up to you and being 6'5" probably scare the shit out of you and then loom over you, but its full steam ahead about what's on his mind. He does NOT play mind games in front of an audience -- he be too focused on what he wanted to say because he's sure you see things exactly the way he does. Who doesn't want to know EVERYTHING about the Titanic and the movie DUEL and the Santa Fe train

[lauowolf]

I'm glad to hear you weigh in on this question.
I've always thought it seemed pretty bogus - if someone's difficulties lie in following subtle or covert social cues, it seemed odd they would then in turn use them against others.
Which is what this behavior sounds like, much more than a difficulty in perceiving such cues.

[animeshon]

It's hard when you hear so many people using AS as an excuse for behaviour like this. As an adult with AS I find it slightly offensive as neither I nor any of those I know with AS behave in any way like that. In fact one guy I know who is probably one of the least socially adapted AS people I know can be very uncomfortable to talk to, but would never behave like that. I myself make sure to educate people in how to relate to me with regards to behaviour that I know can be a touchy point.

Plus using AS as an excuse here belittles times when it really is valid and important. One boy I used to work with was picked up by police and held for questioning simply because of his "suspicious" behaviour despite the fact that he wore a medic alert bracelet identifying him as having AS.

[la_marquise_de_]

I've been on the sharp end of this. I can cite you incidents in which I was handled, followed, persistently approached, backed into corners, stalked, bullied or coerced into contact I did not want, emotionally blackmailed and, on one occasion, forced into a car. Most of these men were just a-holes, though they probably wouldn't admit that. Two pulled emotional blackmail stunts on a huge scale. Two used the 'ASD' defence, wielding it as a weapon into trying to force me to comply with their wishes -- they were *special*, I owed them, because women are so rare in their lives that they had a right to me, I was hurting them with my nasty, inconsiderate behaviour

[green_knight]

I have been that extremely clueless person who really wanted to talk to someone and didn't pick up on subtle 'not now' signs, so I can kind of understand how such a situation might come about _with someone you know_ (there's a different protocoll for strangers!), but a clear 'go away' is a clear 'go away'.

I expect an otherwise intelligent grownup to understand that, to accept it, and to remove himself from such situations if he has such poor impulse control.

As for the readercon board, who put the harassers's comfort over the perceived safety of attendees, well....