Thoughts I have had today

[mscontrarymary]

Oh god I've been burgled.
Why did the burglar make what appears to be a bacon sandwich?
You BRAT.
No wonder the cat can barely move, his stomach is touching the ground from the amount of bacon in it.

Can you please put the dishes in the sink? Chipping burnt bacon off a frying pan was not the way I wanted to spend my evening.

Comments

[cons_detective]

I left a note!

I also used the key, broke nothing, took nothing, and fed your cat!

[cons_detective]

Which I also didn't take, by the way. Since he's clearly still there.

[mscontrarymary]

I just found your note, I brought more on the way home.

Don't get cross just because I came home from work, found my place in a state and assumed I'd been robbed.

I mean it about the washing up.

[cons_detective]

Well that was a stupid assumption. The only room in the house to be upset was the kitchen. Who robs a kitchen?

[not_thatbill]

Feel like I need some popcorn while reading this

Maybe to throw at the film that is your life. Or maybe my life since you lot are in it

[mscontrarymary]

If my life is a movie, can I be Cameron Diaz?

[not_thatbill]

Nope, too short

[mscontrarymary]

Well, fine. You aren't allowed to be Samuel L. Jackson then.