Call me a Cowboy, baby.
MY PEOPLE THE INTERESTING VICTIMS OTHERS MY PEOPLE
BABOU NAILS. This red head certain caught Hermes' attention in the last moments of their Abyss trip. The guy was strange, but inviting, and knows what respecting a god really means. Which involves flattery. A lot of flattery. One thing certainly lead to another there, and Hermes is rather attached to Badou now. The man's is hedging a little beyond 'toy' and possibly toward 'lover'. Only time will tell.
NARA SHIKAMARU. While typically bland, and ever lazy, Shikamaru has one thing going for him that makes up for all that in Hermes mind; the man is smart. He manages to put up with Hermes questions and sudden subject changes with relative ease. Top it off with a touch of asshole-like nature, and it is a winning combination as far as this god is concerned.
GAMZEE MAKARA. What started out as an effort to get rid of the troll, has now ended in a new goal- making Gamzee into the best damn butler ever. Hermes doesn't really care what anyone else's protest are, either. A god has to do what a god has to do to get some damn service around here, after all. And Gamzee seems willing enough.
ALMA. This kid was one of the first people Hermes talked to in the Facility. He's also the first person to ever piss Alma off, so it goes to show that this friendship was always meant to be. The kid is a bit strange, but Hermes likes how willing he is to help out when it comes to causing mischief.
SABAKU NO TEMARI. Shikamura's girlfriend, and Hermes' soon to be Shogi partner. Hermes likes her, if for no other reason than she has the same temperament of his sister, Artemis. They met with a near promise of maiming, but managed to come out of that without lasting harm. He's pretty convinced that she needs to keep him around, at least.
TAVROS NITRAM. In recent conversations Hermes has learned a handful of things about this particular troll. One- He's an idiot. Two- He can't run, but you an wheel him really fast if you try. And Three- He's got a crush on a guy named Dave. Which, when you think about it, is all rather dangerous information for the tricksome Hermes to have. So the question that remains is...how long before this kid goes from 'just some troll', to 'troll victim number three'?
RIKU. This guy was gone. Then one day the fuck ups in the lab coats decided he was ungone, only this one came back not knowing nearly as many people as the other one did. Which is weird. How does someone magically lose memories? Did he fall into the Lethe? But you know what? That doesn't matter, because Riku is still one of his people. Even if the guy doesn't really know it. If need be, he'll tattoo it to the guy's forehead.
ALEX AARON. Alex the future son of Ares, after he is apparently disowned by all of Olympus. Which Hermes isn't sure if that is sweet justice, or a sign that Zeus eventually loses his marbles. Either way, Alex has an auto-ticket to the 'Important People' list. He'll look after the kid (though he doubt's Alex needs him to do much, it is the thought that counts right?) if for no other reason than...well, this is his blood right here.
[ RETURN TO TOP ]THE INTERESTING
SASHA NIEN. This guy is weird, and not just in the funny head-shaped way. He can open a door and wander into your mind, kinda weird. Hermes, of course, let him do it and learned a few things from Sasha. Like what a lamp and radio were, a modern map, and maybe a little bit of German as well. All in all, it wasn't the worst experience ever.
ORIHARA IZAYA. Hermes knows him as 'That annoying text guy Nakura.' Mostly he's annoyed by this guy for getting him at least curious about the slavers' prisoners. Not that it did much, seeing as Hermes got distracted long beofre he could save the people he was interested in saving. That point aside, he's terribly curious about this guy too. Who the hell hides behind text and a picture? Is he that ugly? Does he have a lisp? Is he Ares in a tutu dancing on a music box? The world demands to know! So it wasn't Ares in a tutu, which was highly disappointing, but eh. Life goes on. Instead of annoying, brawny brothers....it's just an annoying, skinny brat. What comes next? Lightening storms on a clear day?
SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS. A soul eating demon that is 'friends' with Badou. How can this not go wrong? Hermes isn't particularly sure what to make of Sebastian, but isn't ready to toss him into the enemy bracket. He's also not ready to call him friend any time soon, either. Instead he just wants to know more, and by know....He means get Sebastian out of Badou's life. That is a lot more complicated than he's ever expected it to be.
DR. NII JIANYI. This guy is a little weird, and not in a good way. Hermes isn't sure what is going on here, but he's pretty sure that Nii is not the guy to just leave unnoticed. He has that feeling that is always bad to have when locked in a dark box with someone. It usually means one is a secretly a titian plotting to destroy your world. ...Well, Nii probably isn't a titan, but you get the point.
LI SYAORAN. This kid summons things,or gods. Or maybe he just invokes them, but either way? Kind of cool...and kind of freaky at the same time. Who just gives a kid the power to invoke a god? And why? So many questions, so many.
PRINCESS ISHTAR. Princess Ishtar and Hermes met during the Master/Slave week, with his opening line being 'bring me grapes'. They had a rocky start, but actually managed to bond a little in their week together. Hermes likes her, really; fiery temper and all.
VRISKA SERKET. She is his new BFF-Troll Style. He really can't help but like her in some ways. For one, she has knowledge on how to creep the network, and two...she has a sense of humor. Between the two he rather thinks of her as a reasonable--- Troll-thing. Just so long as she's not slimy while around him.
[ RETURN TO TOP ] VICTIMS
YUJINN AI ALDA. Yujinn and Hermes met during Master/Slave week, as he came to serve alongside Ishtar. Hermes lifted the guy’s book off him for a little light reading on spells about the same time he helped Hana get himself locked in a room. Though Yujinn seems to have caught on to things, by now; not that Hermes is ready to admit to anything.
TSUNADE. Hermes borrowed Tsunade’s pet bat-thing, Komaki for about a week while she was in a coma. When she came back and discovered she was missing, however, Hermes didn’t hand the feisty beast over right at first. Instead he made her sort of work for it, while hiding out in his room. Eventually he was pinned as the thief, and Tsunade reclaimed her pet. She seemed strangely determined to not hurt him, despite looking rather like she wanted to.
KARKAT VANTAS. Karkat is the one individual in the facility that can attest to the power that Hermes possesses. He’s also the one being in the facility that Hermes is not a fan of. At least the feeling is mutual. But who can blame him? Spending the night in some guys room as a statue with assorted wigs and clothing draped about you couldn’t be all that exciting. Of course, it isn't everyday that someone can claim to look that damn ~fabulous~ as a piece of marble stone. And it did improve Karkat's over all looks. Mm. Maybe he should be thanking Hermes instead. Reinstated, but have made no contact with.
KANDA YU. Alma's would be protector got a full dose of 'Hermes' in a way he probably didn't expect. For one, Hermes 'attacked' him, but it was only to show off his talents! He swears! Still, the man cut the godling for the first time ever...so the question is probably more of 'who is the real victim here?' Alas, Hermes has added Kanda to his weekly harassment agenda. The destruction expected from this is great.
SOLLUX CAPTOR. Hermes is pretty sure that on the level of annoying, Sollux could be just above the cusp. It mostly has to do with his connection to Stony 'Aka Karkat', but who knows. Maybe it is the incessant need to wear sunglasses. Weird sunglasses at that. And why does he have four horns? Does he get some magical prize for being the horniest? Tsk. The world may never understand.
EMMETT HONEYCUTT. They've just met, but Hermes already feels the need to give this guy the pep talk of the century. He doesn't care how bad things get at the hands of the doctors, he just can't seem to think life is possibly ever worse than death. He's been to Tartarus, he knows what sort of bleakness and despair lurks in death.
DARC NIDELLIA. Float like a butterfly, and sting like a bee? Not with this guy. He thought, at least for a little bit, that he could handle Hermes like cake. Whoops. Won't make that mistake again, eh? But hey, he did make a rather cute hare for a little bit, didn't he?
LAVI. Oh Lavi, Oh Lavi...you very strange man. How is it that you look so much like my 'boyfriend'? Well...mostly. This strange guy has a bit of Hermes' fancy, what with all this 'bookman' and 'secret history' talk. However, Lavi did make the mistake of reminding Hermes of just how...bleak his future apparently is.
ALLEN WALKER. An Ode to Allen: Oh white haired boy, stalked by that guy, I feel as if you and I were meant to collide, for among the same walks of life do we reside. You, oh champion of justice, are swift with prank and humor. Oh gambler, oh gambler how your slight of hand speaks to my heart. So from this day forth, let us come together in the holiest of practices: practical jokes.
HOWARD LINK. In the name of Zeus, I paint you the holy man of screams, second only to Saint Vein Popping Kanda. If it were possible, Hermes is certain this Would-be-pedo-stalker would do more than eyeball white haired boys in the shower, but the chances of getting caught red handed seem to keep this guy in that deep, dark dungeon of 'Virgin-dom'. Hold me. ;; It's scary in there.
ASAGAMI FUJINO. Not only did she have the misfortune to become a tweeting bird that couldn't help herself, she explained the use of a tampoon. Impressive, considering the amount of embarrassment that seemed to be flooding the room she was in. Why, if Hermes had half a mind, he'd someday get her to explain sex- just to see what happens.
EDDIE RIGGS. Being turned into a bird is a bit like a vacation, if you asked him. Somehow Eddie didn't seem to agree- which is a shame. Imagine all the fun he could have had, but didn't have the presence of mind to enjoy. For shame, for shame.
ROXAS. Somehow related to Sora and Riku, Roxas also spent time as a bird. The kid seems to be fighting a lot of weird emotional things, which....he won't even bother trying to make sense of. It seems too complicated.
WALLACE WELLS. Terrible luck of the draw with this one, really. Wallace was a victim, but not of Hermes- more of his deeply buried inner dickwad that was plotting his murder. Apparently Hermes makes self-homicide a norm. Either way, Wallace's first introduction to the god ended with a promise of death....which was forgotten about for the next best shiny thing. He's like a crow- easily distracted by sunlight and reflections.
[ RETURN TO TOP ] OTHERS
JACK NOIR. He is strange, mono-colored (we think) and an illegal alien. And no, we don't just mean the type that forgot to pack their passport and visa traveler's checks. He hitched a ride on the solar winds and sailed the 'Moron' waves to a place called earth. Which, raises the ultimate question of- why? I hear Jupiter is much better this time of the year.
AOYAGI RITSUKA. Catboy, oh Catboy let me pet your ears. The fact that they are a sign of virginity is a rather awkward revelation if you ask Hermes. Why on earth would you want to display something like that? Who needs a "Virgin" sign when you have ears to twitch about in annoyance?
SORA. On the steps of fair Olympus did this young sprite once tread. He also calls Hercules 'Herc' which is 8 ways to being the funniest damn thing Hermes has heard in the last lifetime or three. That aside, Sora is a world hopper, which just makes him damn annoying. Pick a world and stick with it! Is that really so hard?
KOMUI LEE. This guy made a robot woman once, which was either a sign of sheer desperation or a sign of idiotic tendencies. Or both. The chances of it being both are extremely high given the Facility's population in general. Mostly.
JADE HARLEY. Oh sweet innocence and the flowery smells of spring. Jade's an odd-ball, but then he's not all that shocked by it. It seems to be on par for a lot of the little virgin kiddies around her. So adorable, the way they squirm.
JOHN EGBERT. There isn't much to be said for this kid, except maybe that he should learn how to not lose important fights. Especially if said fights are against illegal aliens crossing cities without a passport. Have to get onto of that mad-hobo immigration! Just don't count on this guy, according the the polls. He failed to do his duty as the president if the club house, and congress is looking to vote him out.
TYKI MIKK. Hermes isn't sure what to do with this one. He knows the guy likes golems, butterflies, earl grey tea and a touch of attitude for the long haul. What he doesn't know if how all this works together to make him ungodly. Or at the very least it makes him unsure of things that he's always been sure of. Needless to say, Hermes will be keeping his eyes on this for a long time from now.
TEREZI PYROPE. 1f som3on3 could typ3 1n 4 mor3 4nnoy1ng m4nn3r, H3rm3s would b3 impr3ss3d. No, r3ally. H3 would b3. Mostly 1t 1s b3c4us3 h3 1s conv1nc3d th4t th1s w31rd 4ss typ1ng 1s for th3 moron1c 4nd soc14lly ch4ll3ng3d. H3's pr3tty sur3 h3/sh3/1t 1s 4 troll, but th4t 1s st1ll up 1n th3 41r for now.
KANAYA MARYAM. A troll is a troll of course, of course. But this one is useful in the ways all the others aren't. Well, except his BFF Vriska, but she's apparently evil...or something. Kanaya's finally explained this whole blood thing, but she didn't mention what Karkat was. Makes you wonder, now doesn't it? Hmm.
WAYWARD VAGABOND. The thing about making speeches and being 'mayor' of cities...is that it is supposed to make people like you, not want to maim you. Hermes isn't sure what this alien man's angle is. Maybe he's just the prelude to a larger invasion of monocolored fail, but either way- please, for the love of Zeus, don't make him listen to another speech. Please.
KOHAKU. She's....different, in the way all people here are a little more different than the one before. She's mostly different in that she seems completely boring and normal. Which is weird. Maybe she's secretly a giant plant waiting to sprout vines and attack the living when the least expect it. At least then she'd make sense.
GRELL SUTCLIFF. There isn't much he can say about this guy- except that he is utterly nutter. He's pretty sure there is something going on between him/her/whatever and Sebastian. Just what, he can't know. And he only suspects because they both are freaking annoying, and seem to know each other.
ROSE LALONDE. Rose a quirky girl that Hermes isn't sure what to make of. She seemed pretty intent on learning as much about him as she could, which Hermes obliged by not really telling her anything. It isn't that it is a secret, really (mostly), it is just it was more fun not to tell her anything at all. Besides, she never did really fucking explain the meaning of 'fucking'. RETURNED...
PATCHOULI KNOWLEDGE. A strange girl, but one he doesn't mind all that much. He thinks her name is strange, and is still reluctant to loan her his books...But that doesn't mean he won't. Eventually.
GABRIEL. Liar, liar, pants on fire...trying to pull a fast one on Hermes, Gabriel has been labeled as 'one of those' kind of people. By which he means...a smartass like him. He doesn't like when people play his game, it isn't as funny. And Herme is a hypocrite of the finest degree.
UCHIHA SASUKE. Being a man of few words has never been so....few. Hermes isn't sure what to think of Sasuke, except that conversation with him is pretty damn dull. Which makes wanting to be friends very, very difficult. Maybe even impossible. Oh look! A duck..... What was I saying?
AXEL. Sometimes you have to wonder if all the people with red hair fell into a bucket of wine. That or you have to wonder if there is just something in the water when they were born. Either way, this guy is weird. His hair sticks out at odd angles and is just...not natural. It is like clown hair without the clown face. And that? Should be against the rules of the universe.
FLETCHER TRINGHAM. This kid has something wrong with him, though Hermes doesn't even know what it is. But does it really matter? He looks a bit like a kicked puppy which is mostly just sad. So sad that he might have to consider shedding a tear or something.
RODA. There was something witty to say, but it mostly just faded away with a frown. She's weird and mono-emotion. Is mono-emotioned even a word? No, probably not. But it should be. It is, after all, very descriptive and concise.
Knives Chau. All that can really be said here is- You should knock before entering...and watch out for holes. You never know where they might be hiding. I would even check under the bed.
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NAME HERE PLS. Blah blah blah blah STUFF. Lots of wonderful texty stuff. About nothing real. And your mom. On a bike. In Central park.
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