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This is a tribute to the nice guys. I posted it a long time ago, but I think everyone should read it again. Whoever wrote it is the man.
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
So today I realized that '07 has now taken over ARHS. It's going to be pretty weird not having the seniors around, since I really just started to get to be good friends with many of them. But there's always the summer right? Speaking of the summer, this week I was accepted into the Rayado trek program at Philmont Scout Ranch in New Mexico. Around the middle of July I'll be heading out there for 3 weeks of backpacking in the southern Rockies with a crew of guys from all over the country that I've never met before. It should be amazing. Then after that, I'll be heading straight to California for about a week to visit family and look at schools. It's gonna be great. Of course, it won't give me that much time to spend with people back here in Amherst, but such is life. But before I get to this awesome summer, we must make it through the last 3 weeks of school (only 2 weeks and 3 days actually). That will be difficult, especially with a dose of early senioritis kicking in (is there something wrong with me?), a very large final paper for econ, and a research project for bio. But it'll all be over soon, just gotta keep grinding. But first let's do a survey.
l L I F E T I M E l T H I N G S l
CHILDHOOD STUFF
Did you play with Barbies: hell no
Did you own Treasure Trolls: never heard of them
Did you watch Barney: probably a few times...dinosaurs are awesome
Did you play Simon Says: of course
Did you watch Fraggle Rock: nope
Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed: maybe for like a month when I was four, but then I realized how dumb it was.
Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them: definitely not
Were you shy: not overly so
Were you spoiled: just the right amount, which is not too much
Were you abused: no
Did you go to the circus: once I think, at Hampshire College...it was weird
Did you go to the zoo: many times
Were you in a car: what kind of question is that?
Did you build snowmen: no, more like I built massive snow forts and had brutal snowball fights with my older brothers and their friends, in which I always got destroyed
Did you cry when you scraped your knee: might have
Were your older cousins mean to you: nah
Did you think slinkies were cool: oh yeah
Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer: nah, sadly I didn't watch too much Ninja Turtles
Were you afraid of the dark: not really
Did you have slumber parties: sure
Did you believe in aliens: no
Did you have any hidden talents: I guess everyone knew I could sing back then...I was pretty damn good card shark for a six-year-old though I must say...
Did you watch MTV: hell no, I've never had cable TV
NOW-A-DAYS
Do you drive: yeah
What is your dream car: BMW convertible or something like that
Do you think your good looking?: occasionally
Do you think i am good looking?: do I know you?
Do others think you are good looking: you'd have to ask them.
Do you believe there is such a thing as a soul mate: not really, but I think that everyone eventually is supposed to meet someone who's right for them.
Do you believe in Bigfoot: haha no
How many bedrooms do you have in your house: 4
Are you afraid of roller coasters: the crazy new ones, yes...on our sixth grade trip, one of them got stuck upside-down (I wasn't on it thankfully)...I haven't ridden any since.
Do you believe there is a heaven: of some kind, yes
Do you believe there is a hell: no
Do you own a pool table: yes I do actually
Do you have a pool: nah
Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen: yeah...that's kinda random
Do you like chocolate: yeah
Who is on your calendar: nobody in particular
How many poster do you own: a good many
Ever wished on a star: a shooting star, yes
Best Halloween costume you ever wore: my Han Solo costume was pretty tight
What is your weakness: beautiful girls, spiders
Are you an artistic person: yes, I'm a musician
Are you a realistic person: generally, but I'm also an optimist
Are you a strong person: I'd like to think so
Are you a strong willed person: when it comes to it I usually am
Who is the last person to e-mail you: whoever sends out the facebook emails
Who is the last person to IM you: Mondschein
Are you a good story teller: oh yes I am
Let's say you win the lotto: that would be rediculous, but I dont think I'll ever buy a ticket
Do you have a check book: nope
Do you like your drivers license: it works for me...my permit picture's a little funky, but whatever
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it FED UP: no, it'd definitely be UPeX...what can Brownish-Orangish-Yellow do for you?
l G I R L S/B O Y S l L O V E l K I S S I N G l M O R E l
Have you ever been in love: no
How many people have you said I love you to: many in the friend/family sense...but romantically, only one, and it was a mistake
How many people have you been in love with: none
Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender: nah, unless you count my dog
What do you look for in a guy/girl: smile, eyes, outgoing personality
Who was the last guy/girl you danced with: Sophie at le prom
Do you have a crush right now: sure
If so who is it: it's not big enough to public with at this point
Do you believe in love at first sight: I think you can be very attracted to someone at first sight, but it takes to fall in love with them.
Do you remember your first love: still waiting for it
Do you believe in fate: I believe that we all have God-given gifts that we are meant to use, but not a predestined fate.
Do you believe in soul mates: didn't we already ask this?
If so do you believe you'll ever find yours: sure
l D O l Y O U S l
Do You Like
To give hugs: absolutely
To give back rubs: oh yeah
To take walks in the rain: it can be nice
To dance: yes I do, even if I suck at it
To sing: very much
To finger paint: I never have
To talk on the phone: eh, over rated
Where you live: yeah
Sarcasm: usually, but not when it hurts your ability to be serious.
Your handwriting: I'm told it's pretty nice.
Onions: not raw ones
Cotton Candy: no
Pina Coladas: oh yeah...and getting caught in the rain
This survey so far: it's been okay, I guess
l R O M A N C E l
What kind of personality do you like in a guy/girl: outgoing but not full of themselves, friendly, trustworthy, loyal, cheerful
What is your idea of the perfect guy/girl: You can't do something like that
What do you notice first about the opposite sex: smile, outgoing/introverted
Best thing to do with the opposite sex: well...
Worst thing to do with the opposite sex: fight
Best place to go with the opposite sex: somewhere peaceful, or somewhere completely crazy
What do you expect from them: that they take me for who I am
What do you usually want from them: for them to be kind, and not overly self-interested
Do you move fast or slow in a relationship: medium pace
What can someone do to turn you on fully: a genuine smile and kiss on the cheek
Do you like someone right now: didn't we ask this one already?
Do they know: guess not
Are you going out with someone: no
Most romantic words anyone has said to you: wow, couldn't say
Has anybody ever written you a love letter: well, not really
Most romantic memory: there's a few decent ones, but nothing that really sticks out
Do you love someone right now: I love lots of people, but in terms of romance, no
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
So today I realized that '07 has now taken over ARHS. It's going to be pretty weird not having the seniors around, since I really just started to get to be good friends with many of them. But there's always the summer right? Speaking of the summer, this week I was accepted into the Rayado trek program at Philmont Scout Ranch in New Mexico. Around the middle of July I'll be heading out there for 3 weeks of backpacking in the southern Rockies with a crew of guys from all over the country that I've never met before. It should be amazing. Then after that, I'll be heading straight to California for about a week to visit family and look at schools. It's gonna be great. Of course, it won't give me that much time to spend with people back here in Amherst, but such is life. But before I get to this awesome summer, we must make it through the last 3 weeks of school (only 2 weeks and 3 days actually). That will be difficult, especially with a dose of early senioritis kicking in (is there something wrong with me?), a very large final paper for econ, and a research project for bio. But it'll all be over soon, just gotta keep grinding. But first let's do a survey.
l L I F E T I M E l T H I N G S l
CHILDHOOD STUFF
Did you play with Barbies: hell no
Did you own Treasure Trolls: never heard of them
Did you watch Barney: probably a few times...dinosaurs are awesome
Did you play Simon Says: of course
Did you watch Fraggle Rock: nope
Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed: maybe for like a month when I was four, but then I realized how dumb it was.
Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them: definitely not
Were you shy: not overly so
Were you spoiled: just the right amount, which is not too much
Were you abused: no
Did you go to the circus: once I think, at Hampshire College...it was weird
Did you go to the zoo: many times
Were you in a car: what kind of question is that?
Did you build snowmen: no, more like I built massive snow forts and had brutal snowball fights with my older brothers and their friends, in which I always got destroyed
Did you cry when you scraped your knee: might have
Were your older cousins mean to you: nah
Did you think slinkies were cool: oh yeah
Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer: nah, sadly I didn't watch too much Ninja Turtles
Were you afraid of the dark: not really
Did you have slumber parties: sure
Did you believe in aliens: no
Did you have any hidden talents: I guess everyone knew I could sing back then...I was pretty damn good card shark for a six-year-old though I must say...
Did you watch MTV: hell no, I've never had cable TV
NOW-A-DAYS
Do you drive: yeah
What is your dream car: BMW convertible or something like that
Do you think your good looking?: occasionally
Do you think i am good looking?: do I know you?
Do others think you are good looking: you'd have to ask them.
Do you believe there is such a thing as a soul mate: not really, but I think that everyone eventually is supposed to meet someone who's right for them.
Do you believe in Bigfoot: haha no
How many bedrooms do you have in your house: 4
Are you afraid of roller coasters: the crazy new ones, yes...on our sixth grade trip, one of them got stuck upside-down (I wasn't on it thankfully)...I haven't ridden any since.
Do you believe there is a heaven: of some kind, yes
Do you believe there is a hell: no
Do you own a pool table: yes I do actually
Do you have a pool: nah
Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen: yeah...that's kinda random
Do you like chocolate: yeah
Who is on your calendar: nobody in particular
How many poster do you own: a good many
Ever wished on a star: a shooting star, yes
Best Halloween costume you ever wore: my Han Solo costume was pretty tight
What is your weakness: beautiful girls, spiders
Are you an artistic person: yes, I'm a musician
Are you a realistic person: generally, but I'm also an optimist
Are you a strong person: I'd like to think so
Are you a strong willed person: when it comes to it I usually am
Who is the last person to e-mail you: whoever sends out the facebook emails
Who is the last person to IM you: Mondschein
Are you a good story teller: oh yes I am
Let's say you win the lotto: that would be rediculous, but I dont think I'll ever buy a ticket
Do you have a check book: nope
Do you like your drivers license: it works for me...my permit picture's a little funky, but whatever
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it FED UP: no, it'd definitely be UPeX...what can Brownish-Orangish-Yellow do for you?
l G I R L S/B O Y S l L O V E l K I S S I N G l M O R E l
Have you ever been in love: no
How many people have you said I love you to: many in the friend/family sense...but romantically, only one, and it was a mistake
How many people have you been in love with: none
Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender: nah, unless you count my dog
What do you look for in a guy/girl: smile, eyes, outgoing personality
Who was the last guy/girl you danced with: Sophie at le prom
Do you have a crush right now: sure
If so who is it: it's not big enough to public with at this point
Do you believe in love at first sight: I think you can be very attracted to someone at first sight, but it takes to fall in love with them.
Do you remember your first love: still waiting for it
Do you believe in fate: I believe that we all have God-given gifts that we are meant to use, but not a predestined fate.
Do you believe in soul mates: didn't we already ask this?
If so do you believe you'll ever find yours: sure
l D O l Y O U S l
Do You Like
To give hugs: absolutely
To give back rubs: oh yeah
To take walks in the rain: it can be nice
To dance: yes I do, even if I suck at it
To sing: very much
To finger paint: I never have
To talk on the phone: eh, over rated
Where you live: yeah
Sarcasm: usually, but not when it hurts your ability to be serious.
Your handwriting: I'm told it's pretty nice.
Onions: not raw ones
Cotton Candy: no
Pina Coladas: oh yeah...and getting caught in the rain
This survey so far: it's been okay, I guess
l R O M A N C E l
What kind of personality do you like in a guy/girl: outgoing but not full of themselves, friendly, trustworthy, loyal, cheerful
What is your idea of the perfect guy/girl: You can't do something like that
What do you notice first about the opposite sex: smile, outgoing/introverted
Best thing to do with the opposite sex: well...
Worst thing to do with the opposite sex: fight
Best place to go with the opposite sex: somewhere peaceful, or somewhere completely crazy
What do you expect from them: that they take me for who I am
What do you usually want from them: for them to be kind, and not overly self-interested
Do you move fast or slow in a relationship: medium pace
What can someone do to turn you on fully: a genuine smile and kiss on the cheek
Do you like someone right now: didn't we ask this one already?
Do they know: guess not
Are you going out with someone: no
Most romantic words anyone has said to you: wow, couldn't say
Has anybody ever written you a love letter: well, not really
Most romantic memory: there's a few decent ones, but nothing that really sticks out
Do you love someone right now: I love lots of people, but in terms of romance, no