tired of this.

[mtvkilledrock]

I'm so tired of my job. All of my management takes me for granted - I work hard, I do my job well, I'm incredibly flexible with my schedule and, to top it off for them - i'm cheap as hell to put on for the day. I need a raise that I won't get. I need hours to cover my rent, but i don't want them. I'm sick of 50% off sales and all the shitty assholes who shop when we have them. I'm sick of being forgotten when I'm shaking from hunger and watching them send people on breaks who have only been in the store for 2 hours - while I've been there for 5. I'm sick of having to stay late, every day. I'm sick of getting yelled at for talking to people for 5 minutes when half the day management spends talking - not about work, but about their personal lives. I'm tired of people assuming I have an easy job, and failing to understand that it is physically and mentally exhausting. For the past week or so I've felt so stressed out. And the only way I can think to relieve it is to cry - but I can't cry. Yesterday and today at work, I felt like I was going to crash at any minute and just lose it. You can all laugh at me and say "wow, you're pathetic" but the truth of the matter is, you have no idea how easy it is to lose your mind when you can't take two steps on the sales floor without being utterly surrounded by people. And you can't take two steps in the back room without covering your head in fear that boxes are going to fall on your head. And screaming, running children who pick up anything and everything only to deposit it on the opposite end of the store. And parents who, instead of finding the size they think they should need first decide to open every shirt thats on top of it and look at them too, leaving a mountain of tshirts that need to be refolded, resized and restacked. I'm not saying I have the worst job in the world, or the hardest. But when I have days where I'm about to have a mental break and I say its because of work? Its because of days like my past 3 days. Where you don't get a single nice, polite, helpful, understanding customer - all you get are assholes who think you're trying to fuck with them.

I'm going to take the next two days and make the most of them.
I need this more than you could ever know.