Post-Sheol ficlet: Ref's Letters
A little background: following Neo and company's descent into Sheol to rescue Thyme and the Merovingian, the Merv suffered a rather lengthy convalesence (lengthy for an Exile, anyway), during which Ref and Persephone tended him. Ref did a lot of thinking in that time and, well... I'll let the results speak for themselves.
Letters about Love
I. Letter found on a desk in the Merovingian's apartment
My Dear Armand,
The words you are about to read are the hardest things I have ever had to put on paper, harder even than the accounts of the early battles in the last war.
Since you disappeared and since Neo, Smith, Persephone and Blaise descended into Sheol to rescue you from that place, I have had a lot of time to think and pray about you and I, as a couple.
I want you to rest assured that I love you and that I will always love you, but as much as I still care for you, I believe that the time has come for me to end our relationship, at least on a physically intimate level. Time is catching up with me, and I must settle a few things with myself. One of those things is what I did to your relationship with your wife. I know very well that I am far from being the first to start driving the wedge you put between yourself and Persephone, but I want to be the last. I saw how she cared for you so firmly that she went through hell itself -- literally and figuratively -- to save you from the Demonics and from yourself. I saw that she still loved you. Right then, the scales fell from my eyes and I could see again.
Reward your wife for her selfless devotion. Mend the rift between her and you. Let me, as your lover, go free. If it's possible, I want only to be your friend.
If you send for me, I won't reply. If you look for me, I will remove myself from the Matrix entirely. I want -- no, I need to be honest with myself, something I haven't been for the last twenty years.
Blaise is a grown young man now. He needs to find his way, and I need to step back and let our firebrand burn his own path.
Don't think that I hate you, or that my heart has grown cold toward you. I love you still, but but that love must change if either of us is to grow as beings.
This is not easy for me to share with you, and I fear it will anger you, but I made a promise to God that if you survived this, if Neo and Persephone brought you back alive, that I would no longer intrude on your marriage. The woman who saved your life deserves the ultimate reward, and that reward would be the renewal of your affection and your vows to her.
Take care of your true love, the woman who would have given her existance for yours. Let me go free to follow whatever awaits me around the next bend in my path.
Berlin
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II Letter found on the dressing table in Persephone's bedroom
Dear Persephone,
Before I write anything further, I have to say this: I never intended to put myself between you and Armand. He put me there, and I let myself stay there all these years. I love him with all my being, but I realize that I need to let go of any pointless claim that I have on him or on his affection.
I know well what you did for him, the love you have for him; whatever tenderness or care I have for him, that pales by comparison with your sacrifice. That sort of love begs for respect and honor, and I realize that the only way I can respect and honor your love for him is if I remove myself from his world and his sphere of influence. There are things you alone have the right to give to him, and he needs that from you now. I know he'll be in the best of hands, and yours are the only ones I'd rather know were tending to him.
I will confess, there was a time when I wished it just could have been he and I, but those thoughts and desires were of a foolish young version of myself and, like her, have long since faded away. I realize I will always have a connection to Armand, through his son, but that child is now grown and he certainly no longer needs my guidance. I can see that he respects you and I am glad that he has grown up that way. That was something my father and I tried to instill in him, and fortunately for all of us, he practises what we taught him.
I ask you to go to Armand and help him through his illness. If you tend to him instead of me, I don't doubt that he'll do everything he can to win back your affection and to reconcile with you. I made a solemn promise to God that if Armand came back to us alive, if you and Neo and Blaise were able to free him from that horrible place, that I would remove myself from the Chateau and no longer be Armand's lover. This much I owe to you, to him, and to myself.
Forgive me for whatever wrongs, whatever sins I may have committed against you.
Ref
Letters about Love
I. Letter found on a desk in the Merovingian's apartment
My Dear Armand,
The words you are about to read are the hardest things I have ever had to put on paper, harder even than the accounts of the early battles in the last war.
Since you disappeared and since Neo, Smith, Persephone and Blaise descended into Sheol to rescue you from that place, I have had a lot of time to think and pray about you and I, as a couple.
I want you to rest assured that I love you and that I will always love you, but as much as I still care for you, I believe that the time has come for me to end our relationship, at least on a physically intimate level. Time is catching up with me, and I must settle a few things with myself. One of those things is what I did to your relationship with your wife. I know very well that I am far from being the first to start driving the wedge you put between yourself and Persephone, but I want to be the last. I saw how she cared for you so firmly that she went through hell itself -- literally and figuratively -- to save you from the Demonics and from yourself. I saw that she still loved you. Right then, the scales fell from my eyes and I could see again.
Reward your wife for her selfless devotion. Mend the rift between her and you. Let me, as your lover, go free. If it's possible, I want only to be your friend.
If you send for me, I won't reply. If you look for me, I will remove myself from the Matrix entirely. I want -- no, I need to be honest with myself, something I haven't been for the last twenty years.
Blaise is a grown young man now. He needs to find his way, and I need to step back and let our firebrand burn his own path.
Don't think that I hate you, or that my heart has grown cold toward you. I love you still, but but that love must change if either of us is to grow as beings.
This is not easy for me to share with you, and I fear it will anger you, but I made a promise to God that if you survived this, if Neo and Persephone brought you back alive, that I would no longer intrude on your marriage. The woman who saved your life deserves the ultimate reward, and that reward would be the renewal of your affection and your vows to her.
Take care of your true love, the woman who would have given her existance for yours. Let me go free to follow whatever awaits me around the next bend in my path.
Berlin
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
II Letter found on the dressing table in Persephone's bedroom
Dear Persephone,
Before I write anything further, I have to say this: I never intended to put myself between you and Armand. He put me there, and I let myself stay there all these years. I love him with all my being, but I realize that I need to let go of any pointless claim that I have on him or on his affection.
I know well what you did for him, the love you have for him; whatever tenderness or care I have for him, that pales by comparison with your sacrifice. That sort of love begs for respect and honor, and I realize that the only way I can respect and honor your love for him is if I remove myself from his world and his sphere of influence. There are things you alone have the right to give to him, and he needs that from you now. I know he'll be in the best of hands, and yours are the only ones I'd rather know were tending to him.
I will confess, there was a time when I wished it just could have been he and I, but those thoughts and desires were of a foolish young version of myself and, like her, have long since faded away. I realize I will always have a connection to Armand, through his son, but that child is now grown and he certainly no longer needs my guidance. I can see that he respects you and I am glad that he has grown up that way. That was something my father and I tried to instill in him, and fortunately for all of us, he practises what we taught him.
I ask you to go to Armand and help him through his illness. If you tend to him instead of me, I don't doubt that he'll do everything he can to win back your affection and to reconcile with you. I made a solemn promise to God that if Armand came back to us alive, if you and Neo and Blaise were able to free him from that horrible place, that I would remove myself from the Chateau and no longer be Armand's lover. This much I owe to you, to him, and to myself.
Forgive me for whatever wrongs, whatever sins I may have committed against you.
Ref