Sorry about what happens later
For those of you not in the know dear_character is a place to write letters(ie:bitch at) fictional character. I encourage everyone to go and laugh and bitch.
Here are my latest entries:For Edward Cullen(Twilight) and Alfred Pennyworth(Batman: Dark Knight)
Dear Alfred,
I'll keep this brief, as I'm sure you have butleing to get to, but what the hell were you thinking when you tried to give Bruce Racheals letter the DAY AFTER SHE DIED?! It was basicly a Dear John, Fuck You, Bruce letter. What good could possibly have come from his reading the letter too late to do anything.
You are a very bad butler. Very, very bad.
Sincerely Muffinlips,
P.S. I liked the original Alfred (from the original movies)better, so watch your ass. If he can be replaced, so can you.
And
Dear Edward,
I wasn't all that interested in your stories. I really wasn't. But then my roommate brought home the first book, and I figured, what the hell, maybe now I could get in on all the fan wank and book discussions, and indulge my secret perverse girly dream of being part of a book club type setting.
But no.
While everyone is bitching about the last book, about Bella and her stupidly named offspring, and the creepy May/December thing your baby is having with some guy, I am stuck wondering WHAT THE FUCK Edward! How could anyone like you? You are a creepy stalker. You read the minds of ever person around her to keep tabs on her, you sit outside her window EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and watch her sleep, you stalk her and it's freaking me out. If my friend had a guy like you around I would tell her to get a restraining order.
Then there's your mood swings. Can vampires be bi-polar? you make an excellent case for YES. I understand that some explaination was given for your wildly ranging moods and barely supressed violence, but come on? as a romantic lead you fail. You are the opposite of what young girls should be looking for.
Now, I'm trying to be objective here. I know everyone I've talked to has said that your story is a guilty pleasure and not to be taken too seriously(and certainly not as an academic excercise-sheesh), but come on! There's pulpy crap and then theres crap. Your story is part of the latter.
It seems unlikely that your story s going to get any better - oh wait, I just heard you're barely in the next one! maybe I will read it, after all.
Sincerely, Muffinlips
Why is there no sarcastic or snarky options on mood? Damn it.
In other news...
You knew what was expected when you took the job and yet.....
Bush gets more protection for people who don't want to do their jobs. But it's okay, because God told them to deny a rape victim RU487.
And if you think it's not happening here Think again. Tories trying (again) to introduce fetal rights bill.
"Let me be clear, our government will not reopen the debate on abortion"
Bullshit. That's exactly what you're trying to do. And just in time for the election. Quel surprise!
And, to end it on a high note Funny T-Shirts I esp. like the cookie cutter one
Here are my latest entries:For Edward Cullen(Twilight) and Alfred Pennyworth(Batman: Dark Knight)
Dear Alfred,
I'll keep this brief, as I'm sure you have butleing to get to, but what the hell were you thinking when you tried to give Bruce Racheals letter the DAY AFTER SHE DIED?! It was basicly a Dear John, Fuck You, Bruce letter. What good could possibly have come from his reading the letter too late to do anything.
You are a very bad butler. Very, very bad.
Sincerely Muffinlips,
P.S. I liked the original Alfred (from the original movies)better, so watch your ass. If he can be replaced, so can you.
And
Dear Edward,
I wasn't all that interested in your stories. I really wasn't. But then my roommate brought home the first book, and I figured, what the hell, maybe now I could get in on all the fan wank and book discussions, and indulge my secret perverse girly dream of being part of a book club type setting.
But no.
While everyone is bitching about the last book, about Bella and her stupidly named offspring, and the creepy May/December thing your baby is having with some guy, I am stuck wondering WHAT THE FUCK Edward! How could anyone like you? You are a creepy stalker. You read the minds of ever person around her to keep tabs on her, you sit outside her window EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and watch her sleep, you stalk her and it's freaking me out. If my friend had a guy like you around I would tell her to get a restraining order.
Then there's your mood swings. Can vampires be bi-polar? you make an excellent case for YES. I understand that some explaination was given for your wildly ranging moods and barely supressed violence, but come on? as a romantic lead you fail. You are the opposite of what young girls should be looking for.
Now, I'm trying to be objective here. I know everyone I've talked to has said that your story is a guilty pleasure and not to be taken too seriously(and certainly not as an academic excercise-sheesh), but come on! There's pulpy crap and then theres crap. Your story is part of the latter.
It seems unlikely that your story s going to get any better - oh wait, I just heard you're barely in the next one! maybe I will read it, after all.
Sincerely, Muffinlips
Why is there no sarcastic or snarky options on mood? Damn it.
In other news...
You knew what was expected when you took the job and yet.....
Bush gets more protection for people who don't want to do their jobs. But it's okay, because God told them to deny a rape victim RU487.
And if you think it's not happening here Think again. Tories trying (again) to introduce fetal rights bill.
"Let me be clear, our government will not reopen the debate on abortion"
Bullshit. That's exactly what you're trying to do. And just in time for the election. Quel surprise!
And, to end it on a high note Funny T-Shirts I esp. like the cookie cutter one