Knee-jerk reactions to Half Blood Prince.
OMG FIRST THOUGHTS HPB:
Okay, first off: this is a true story.
Dumbledore died? I didn't cry. Honestly, I never liked him too much. Too off screen. For all his love bullshit, still left Harry to be raised with abusive people. I couldn't have given a shit when he had to drink all that potion, especially since is was fake, heh. Also, everyone already knew he was going to snuff it, so eh.
The Remus/Tonks bit at the end? I sobbed. I screamed in agony. I cursed JKR openly for her misguided het rape of Remus. I beat pillows with fists. I considered all possible mental work-arounds so this would never actually happen. This is the only thing in the world that can truly capture how I feel. Only worse.
I just thought I'd put that in to show you what fandom can truly do to a person.
Also, what the hell happened to Dumbledore's hand? The old coot died before he told us! I hate that! Grr.
Slughorn? Looks like a complete pederast. I expected him to start fondling Harry at any moment the entire book. "Hey little kiddies, want to be in my Slug Club? I have candy..." I want to punch his stupid dunlap stomach.
The only new person I liked was Fenrir Greyback. He was hilarious. "I EAT CHILDREN ARRRRGH." I can imagine Death Eater parents threatening their children with him. "If you don't behave, we'll feed you to Greyback!" I especially liked how he tried to chew Bill's face off when he was still a man. What a lunatic. I hope he comes back.
JKR, I think, has been reading entirely too much Harry/Draco porn. Harry finds Draco crying? All alone? And they start fighting? And Harry gets all worried for Draco when he thinks he's really hurt him? Crazy. I can't name any fics off the top of my head, but come on.
In fact, a lot of the book read like a fanfic. Especially *groan* THE SHIPPING.
Okay, the Ron/Hermione? Yes, it was coming. No one could deny it. And, I was even able to choke back my beloved Pumpkin Pie long enough to realize that it was pretty well written. So, woohoo, high fives, claps, and the ball is back in play.
Harry/Ginny.
Where do I begin.
Why don't we just get Harry a giant shirt that says "HELLO, MY NAME IS HARRY POTTER AND I HAVE AN OEDIPAL COMPLEX." Jesus H. Christ.
Can't say we all didn't really see it coming, deep down, but denial is a very popular coping mechanism. Which I shall continue to employ.
WHY DOES NO ONE REALIZE R.A.B. IS REGULUS BLACK??? WHY IS EVERYONE IN HARRY POTTER UNABLE TO REMEMBER ANYTHING THEY ARE TOLD??? I FEEL LIKE SNAPE IN YELLING "IDIOTS!!"
Oh, yes, Snape! Was! Fabulous! The tension! The Snaco! The sexy, sexy Potions Book! The way Harry defended said Potions Book's Mysterious Writer! And we saw Snape's house! EEEEee! I imagine Kathy's glad about this.
I really like Luna. Considering she's now only 2 books old, she's still getting decently developed. Harry taking her to that crap party was so sweet I could barely believe it was Harry doing it. And the bit where she said "I liked the DA meetings. It was almost like having friends," was so awesome I could barely keep from proposing to her. In the immortal words of every famous rapper ever, "I'd hit that."
From what I have been purusing on teh Internets so far, barely anyone believes Snape was evil. Like, not even third graders. Harry, so far, is the only one fooled.
As usual.
HOWEVER,
Always look on the briiiiight side of life!
So far, the best review I've read.
Snape Kills Dumbledore graphics.
Another Snape Kills Dumbledore thing. With the weirdest background music ever.
THE END. :)
Okay, first off: this is a true story.
Dumbledore died? I didn't cry. Honestly, I never liked him too much. Too off screen. For all his love bullshit, still left Harry to be raised with abusive people. I couldn't have given a shit when he had to drink all that potion, especially since is was fake, heh. Also, everyone already knew he was going to snuff it, so eh.
The Remus/Tonks bit at the end? I sobbed. I screamed in agony. I cursed JKR openly for her misguided het rape of Remus. I beat pillows with fists. I considered all possible mental work-arounds so this would never actually happen. This is the only thing in the world that can truly capture how I feel. Only worse.
I just thought I'd put that in to show you what fandom can truly do to a person.
Also, what the hell happened to Dumbledore's hand? The old coot died before he told us! I hate that! Grr.
Slughorn? Looks like a complete pederast. I expected him to start fondling Harry at any moment the entire book. "Hey little kiddies, want to be in my Slug Club? I have candy..." I want to punch his stupid dunlap stomach.
The only new person I liked was Fenrir Greyback. He was hilarious. "I EAT CHILDREN ARRRRGH." I can imagine Death Eater parents threatening their children with him. "If you don't behave, we'll feed you to Greyback!" I especially liked how he tried to chew Bill's face off when he was still a man. What a lunatic. I hope he comes back.
JKR, I think, has been reading entirely too much Harry/Draco porn. Harry finds Draco crying? All alone? And they start fighting? And Harry gets all worried for Draco when he thinks he's really hurt him? Crazy. I can't name any fics off the top of my head, but come on.
In fact, a lot of the book read like a fanfic. Especially *groan* THE SHIPPING.
Okay, the Ron/Hermione? Yes, it was coming. No one could deny it. And, I was even able to choke back my beloved Pumpkin Pie long enough to realize that it was pretty well written. So, woohoo, high fives, claps, and the ball is back in play.
Harry/Ginny.
Where do I begin.
Why don't we just get Harry a giant shirt that says "HELLO, MY NAME IS HARRY POTTER AND I HAVE AN OEDIPAL COMPLEX." Jesus H. Christ.
Can't say we all didn't really see it coming, deep down, but denial is a very popular coping mechanism. Which I shall continue to employ.
WHY DOES NO ONE REALIZE R.A.B. IS REGULUS BLACK??? WHY IS EVERYONE IN HARRY POTTER UNABLE TO REMEMBER ANYTHING THEY ARE TOLD??? I FEEL LIKE SNAPE IN YELLING "IDIOTS!!"
Oh, yes, Snape! Was! Fabulous! The tension! The Snaco! The sexy, sexy Potions Book! The way Harry defended said Potions Book's Mysterious Writer! And we saw Snape's house! EEEEee! I imagine Kathy's glad about this.
I really like Luna. Considering she's now only 2 books old, she's still getting decently developed. Harry taking her to that crap party was so sweet I could barely believe it was Harry doing it. And the bit where she said "I liked the DA meetings. It was almost like having friends," was so awesome I could barely keep from proposing to her. In the immortal words of every famous rapper ever, "I'd hit that."
From what I have been purusing on teh Internets so far, barely anyone believes Snape was evil. Like, not even third graders. Harry, so far, is the only one fooled.
As usual.
HOWEVER,
Always look on the briiiiight side of life!
So far, the best review I've read.
Snape Kills Dumbledore graphics.
Another Snape Kills Dumbledore thing. With the weirdest background music ever.
THE END. :)