(no subject)
Title: Remember when it rained
Author: Mugimugul
Genre: Angst, Romance
Pairing: Reituki
Rating: PG-13
Warning: ...None
Chapters: 4/6, 5/6, 6/6
Disclaimer: i own no one! T___T
Summary: Songfic thats sorta based on what if. Ruki gets into a car accident and loses his memory and Reita pushes him away to keep him safe.
“Hey… Where would Reita be coming from?” Ruki asks, the words slipping from his lips carelessly as he languidly turns from the TV to face Uruha. And he can’t help but wonder, as he impatiently waits for his reply, if the honey blonde could see his anxiety, eagerness to see the older male, if he could see how much interest, affection he held for Reita, if he could see how much the other plagued his thoughts and occupied his heart.
“His apartment is in the Chiba Prefecture… So I guess he’ll be driving here through the Bayshore Route…” Ruki distractedly hums in reply, his attention snatched by the TV as news concerning a traffic accident is announced. He scans the photographs that are screened apprehensively, the twisting in his stomach provoking a strange fear in him, of which the cause or origin was unknown to him. Fatal car crash causes tens of people to be killed or injured… He reads the captions in his head, troubled by the growing fear with every word he registers. … On Yokohama Bay Bridge… Yokohama Bay Bridge?! Ruki gasps, one hand pressing against his lips in horror as he feels his heart plunge.
“Uruha? Where… did you say Reita was driving through again?” He questions, urgency obvious in his voice, eyes never leaving the flashing images on the screen.
Hold me tight- if this is how it feels
I didn't want to know
What it was like to be in love with someone
“Hmm? Bayshore Route? Why??” Uruha glances up from his magazine, frowning as he takes in the stiff posture of the tensed male.
“Ruki??” His eyes shift to the news instead, when Ruki only responds with a scared call him, widening in shock when he realizes the cause of the younger male’s fright.
“Yokohama Bay Bridge??!” He feels his blood run cold as more pictures of the traffic pile up flicker on the screen, praying that his best friend had not been caught in that. If Reita was… he’d have no chance of coming out alive…
I love you- the feeling wells up in my chest
I want to shout to the wintery sky
"I want to see you right now"
“Your call cannot be answered right now, please try again later.” Uruha stabs at the redial button of his phone relentlessly, heart pounding more furiously each time that same message was relayed to him. Gods Reita, pick up your phone!! Please… Just pick up…
“He’s still not picking up??” Ruki paces across to him, eyes dancing with fear as the tall blonde shakes his head again. They sink to the couch in resignation, despair overpowering the hope in them that their mutual friend was unharmed. The door clicks open, heads whipping to face it, only to fall when they see who the newcomer is.
“Whoa… What happened in here? Someone died or something??” Aoi jokes uneasily, the suffocating atmosphere in the room causing a wave of queasiness through him. His lover shoots him a sharp look, and Ruki starts to tremble as those words build up tears in his eyes.
I love you- my tears won't stop,
And so I wish…
“Yea man, seriously… What’s up with you two?” Reita… Aoi steps aside to reveal Reita, blinking in puzzlement when both Uruha and Ruki startle at the sight of him. Ruki stares at him disbelievingly as Reita strolls over to him in greeting. He couldn’t help it- he burst into tears, wrapping desperate arms around the spiky blonde as he launches himself at him. Reita stumbles a little, freezing up as he wordlessly holds the shuddering form in his arms.
“Ruki?? What’s wrong? Why are you crying??” And Ruki just cries even more when he hears the concern in that voice, because he couldn’t imagine life without Reita, now that he’s met him and he’s just realized how much he needs the older male to be around.
I want to live even if it's a little, even if it's a little, right by you're side
You're the one I like the most, so I can be strong
“Don’t leave me… Again…” He whispers, broken words falling from his lips unconsciously as Reita tenses up again and even he himself is surprised by the words, but he’s meant it- never regrets them even as he remembers his supposed boyfriend. The fear that seized him when he thought he had lost Reita was so familiar, so achingly painful that he knows, just knows, that he’s never wanting to go through it again.
Hold me
Whatever lies beyond this morning
Is a little later on
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all
Nothing's like before
(A/N: Songs- simple and clean, Planetarium,Eternal Snow)
The room we were in has been left untouched,
even the door was left unlocked, just so that you can always come back
“Stay with me.” Reita blinks at the sudden whispered words, the familiarity of that phrase startling him.
“What?” He chokes out in a breathy whisper because he couldn’t- Ruki shouldn’t have known about this; what it meant to him- to the them that existed back there.
The countless starry sky is still here now, forever
I won't cry because the sky I saw before with you was beautiful
Ruki reaches for the dancing stars, gold dusted universe in his grasp. Hand outstretched, uniting palm to palm with the midnight sky. Hoping, wanting, needing to feel something- something.
“Stay with me.”
And Reita can remember it so vividly in the back of his mind; the last time this happened. He remembers it, all of it; memories of them he treasures more than his life, even if Ruki doesn’t. And he can’t help the aching flame that sparks in him, consuming, swallowing all within him because he knows that this is all his fault- that Ruki didn’t- couldn’t- remember only because of what he did.
I'll always wait for you. I understand you're gone,
but I still feel as though you'll open the door at any moment now.
“Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?” Ruki traces the flight of an airplane across the starry night, splaying his fingers out wide as if to capture the blinking lights.
“I could really use a wish right now…” The remaining lyrics were murmured softly, tenderly; simple words that held so much fragility, so much meaning in them.
“All the stars are coming out tonight, they are lighting up the skies tonight, for you...”
Reita whispers against trembling lips, entwining their fingers together, promises of eternity locked between them.
“You don’t need to pretend. It will be anything you want it to be.” Ruki rolls over to snuggle up to him, slender fingers tightening their hold as he mumbles quietly.
“Stay with me, Aki.” And Reita replies, with a reassuring squeeze of his own.
“Forever, Taka.”
I tried softly reciting a wish upon a shooting star
I won't cry, has it reached you? In this beautiful sky
Perhaps tomorrow you'll come back to me for sure...
(A/N: Reila, Planetarium, (spoken) airplanes)
Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong ding dong ding dong.
“Coming!” Reita hurries to the door, nearly tripping over the hem of his pants, fingers fumbling with the lock as he hastens to open it.
“Ruki?? Why are you here?”
“I- he… he proposed to me.” Ruki stammered nervously, unconscious words tumbling from his lips in his flustered state. He didn’t know why he was here, on Reita’s door step, or why he was telling this to the taller blonde- why he felt the sudden need to, but he wanted him to care… Needed him to care.
Why is it this painful to touch you?
“…Oh…”Reita steps aside to let him in, flinching as Ruki brushes past him, shoulder to shoulder and halts as he pushes the door shut, leaving Ruki to stare attentively at his rigid back, waiting- wishing- for a reaction- any reaction. His heart sinks gradually as tormenting seconds tick by, only silence mutually exchanged between them.
Of course… What was I thinking, he barely knows me…-
“Were… Are you happy?”Ruki bites his lip hesitantly, surprised by the abrupt question.
“…Yea.”But somehow, I was happier after I met you.
“…Do you love him?”
“No.”
Surely it's because I'm afraid,
“No.” He echoes as Reita whips his head around to face him, eyebrows quirked in confusion.
“I don’t.” He adds softly, as if to convince the older male that he really didn’t. He didn’t now, and he was starting to doubt if he had ever did.
“I-I… Reita, I think…” He starts off uncertainly, courage gushing into him as he spies the underlying hope, and desperation, and love hidden in the other’s eyes.
“I love you.”He says simply, eyes flashing with determination and absolute surety.
That I'll repeat the same things and end up losing you.
“But… But you can’t!!”
“This… I won’t let this happen again… Never again…” Ruki frowns, eyes narrowed at the panicking male.
“Again? What do you mean by again?” Reita stares at the ground, fingers running around each other in a fidgety dance, not daring to meet his eyes.
“Reita… Look at me. What are you keeping from me?”
“I … erased your memories…” Ruki raises a perfectly sculptured eyebrow as the words tentatively fall from the other blonde’s lips in a shaky whisper.
“Of?”
“Of… Us.” What? Ruki lets out a shaky breath, shocked at the unexpected revelation.
“ Explain.”
I was trying to wipe them away by getting close to you,
The days I could not forget.
No matter how well we're doing,
I don't believe in us completely.
“You think I wanted to forget about you?? I would have wanted to stay with you, to be with you, no matter what happened…”
“You don’t understand! Dying… that’s easy, it’s simple enough. But living through a lover’s death… that’s not.” Reita regretted those words almost as soon as they left his lips, wishing he could take them back- the selfishness they presented- as he watched the hurt flash across Ruki’s face. It was the truth, yes… But it hadn’t been the reason why he had done it. He did it because Ruki had been-was still so young, so beautiful, so angelic, so precious… Because he thought Ruki would have wanted it- to live; He wanted Ruki to live- because he knew that the younger male would have had an amazing future, with or without him, and Reita couldn’t- wouldn’t- let him die for him. Because he just wasn’t worth it. He did it… because Ruki wasn’t supposed to know, to remember. Ever. And the only person who would have had to live with the hurt was him, and him alone, and he thought that for Ruki, all the hurt would be ok, because he would be alive.
I leave this "goodbye" right here and move forward
I won't lose you once again
So that we can assure ourselves of our love we both had to see sorrow
Even if we both end up vanishing tomorrow
It's okay to not cry anymore
“Ruki, it wasn’t a choice for me to make… I couldn’t lose you, Taka… I can’t…” Ruki’s gaze softened as he watched the tortured male in front of him.
“Living… With only the briefest inklings of a past that supposedly never existed, with the confusion of why everything felt so wrong, even when the scenes, the situations did feel right… Living, without feeling my heart in anything… Living like this, it hurts too.” Kneeling down in front of him, he gently tilts Reita’s head, feeling his heart squeeze at the conflicting mess of emotions swirling within those chocolate orbs- all the pain, the confusion, the hurt, the regret, the loss. And yet beneath that all, in the depths of those fear clouded eyes, he saw it- the unwavering, undying love. There was the desire to hope, yet not daring to, the calling to protect, yet knowing he would be the one to hurt… Gods… What have I been doing to him…
“…I should never have been in your life, Ru. Maybe… maybe there’s no such thing as fate. Maybe we weren’t meant to be.”
“…Yeah. Maybe it doesn’t.”Fingers interlaced with his, digits locking together as if they were made to be- the perfect match.
“But, right from the start, I decided that you would be my destiny.”
It's not necessary to go right to the end,
Just keep going.
It's okay if the scenes
Go on one by one.
The light known as "you" reflects my scenario
I found the last piece to the unsolvable jigsaw puzzle,
your broad back protects me and I'll continue to follow you,
for eternity.
“If all breaks down, I’ll comfort you.
If angels cry, I’ll be there for you.
Yeah you and me we can ride on the stars,
If you stay with me, we can rule the world.
Yeah you and me we can light up the skies,
If you stay with me, we can rule the world.”
(A/N: Rule the world, Pledge, love chronicle, simple and clean, Cassis)