(no subject)
I should be studying, so instead I filled out a Jesus quiz in an innappropriate way and sent it back to the religious group that requested it.
The simple act of sincerely asking Jesus to come into your life makes your relationship with God secure. You've embarked on a life of adventure with all-loving, all-powerful God.
So what happened when you invited Jesus into your life?
1. Christ forgave your sins. "Christ sacrificed His life's blood to set us free, which means that our sins are now forgiven. Christ did this because God was so kind to us." (Ephesians 1:7 CEV). When you trusted Christ for the forgiveness of your sin, all your sins were forgiven...past, present and future.
What difference do you think it makes to know that all of your sins have been forgiven?
It means I can sin all I want without retribution. On the contrary side, so too can everybody else. Morality is moot and we are cast into darkness.
Thanks jesus!
2. Christ made you a child of God. "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name -- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God." (John 1:12, 13).
What did you do to become a child of God?
Apparently God seems to have had his way with my mother without my father's consent.
Naughty jesus.
3. Christ came into your life and He will never leave you. (Christ speaking) "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any one hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him." (Revelation 3:20).
a) Where is Christ right now in relation to you?
Coming... into.... me?
^_^
This bible really is a perverse book.
b) (Christ speaking) "Whoever comes to Me I will never drive away." (John 6:37) Under what circumstances might Christ leave you?
For not coming? I mean, that's a pretty high expectations... after a few drinks or if you're not really in the mood it can take a while to get there *sighs*
c) According to this, how many times is it necessary to receive Christ?
Since we're the ones coming it's necesary for him to recieve us I suppose. So I'd say none, Jesus just loves to get a bit. However, I think that's a little selfish so would recieve Christ in return if he asked and was gentle.
4. Christ gave you new life. "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17). When you trusted Christ to be your Saviour and Lord, you began a new spiritual life. God will increasingly produce many new qualities in you as you grow in Him.
What do you anticipate will become new in your life?
A strange smell and the possibility of an STI? I mean, no offence but this jesus guy does seem to "be recieved" by a lot of people, and I dodn't think I've once heard him mention condoms. In fact, it's my understanding the church frowns upon such devices.
5. Christ gave you eternal life. "And this is the testimony; God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life." (1 John 5:11-13).
a) In who is the giver of eternal life?
God... is in... his son?
Now that's impolite at the very least.
b) Who has eternal life?
Whoever has God's son, according to this.
However, as I said earlier that many people having jesus would lead to STIs and a shortening of life. So I'd imagine.
c) Do you have the Son (Jesus)?
Well i haven't met the guy. He seems lovely though but I'm not sure if he's gay and I wouldn't want to impose. He did say a lot about loving thy brother and such though.
d) Do you have eternal life?
Well neither Jesus or God is in me at the moment, so it would seem not yet. But I hope eternal life comes lubricated.
e) When did eternal life begin for you?
To be honest I'm still uncertain as to the definition. Does it start merely at the act of penetration, or is it only when he comes in me? If we were to use a condom, would i still have eternal life?
6. Key Question: If you were to die tonight, how sure are you that you would spend eternity with God?
0%-25%
Eternity is a long time, and he doesn't seem like a one-man kinda guy. I don't think a long-term relationship would work out.
Please choose one. 0% - 25% - 50% - 75% - 100%
7. These wonderful benefits are based totally on Jesus Christ. None of them can be earned. You received them the moment you placed your faith in Christ.
Which of these five truths are especially meaningful to you now?
The very smutty content of this whole religion offends my quiet nature and reserved sesibilities. However, if this is what you truly believe then I respect your right to practice consensual sodomy with your Divinity. However I must request that no enforced buggery takes place upon my own person in the name of religion.
Because you've accepted Jesus, your relationship with God is secure. You are his child. He forgave your sins and gave you a new and eternal life. He will never leave you. When facing doubts about your decision, rely on the truths of the Bible and not on your feelings.
I expect an angry email in reply.
For some reason I just happened to be on poetry.com and entered a short poem in a competition. Apparently they want to publish it in a collection called "Immortal Verses." And is a semi-finalist in a competition in which i can win money. Yay! If I'd known that I can win money off these internet competitions I would have submitted more poems ^^
The publication seems to be a little bit Jesusy from the sounds of the letter. Although not overtly so, some of their comments just refer to the beauty and inspiration that comes from outside ourselves and whatnot.
Here's the poem:
New Zealand Sunrise
I see the Mountain far aloft,
Its grace and beauty shine and oft',
I wonder from which vantage best,
To seek the wonders of its crest.
Yet this mound I wish not to climb,
For from here is the most sublime
a feeling, when it's needed most,
To conquer makes that pang a ghost
So I'd prefer to sit and dream
Than lose forever what I see.
I actually wrote it about a boy I had a crush on... but whom sleeping with would have really fucked things up (which it eventually did... issues issues, nevermind.) See the metaphor, isn't it grand? Hehe. However, the publication also adds in the possibility of submitting a short prose passage describing the poem and the philosophical or personal meaning it has in your life, to be printed alongside it. I think I shall have to write that it's about TEH GAY-SEX0R!!!! Yay! Take that, beauty of creation!
Oh, and double yay. I'm now a published poet (well I already am... but this is an international publication... so it actually means something =P) ^^
The simple act of sincerely asking Jesus to come into your life makes your relationship with God secure. You've embarked on a life of adventure with all-loving, all-powerful God.
So what happened when you invited Jesus into your life?
1. Christ forgave your sins. "Christ sacrificed His life's blood to set us free, which means that our sins are now forgiven. Christ did this because God was so kind to us." (Ephesians 1:7 CEV). When you trusted Christ for the forgiveness of your sin, all your sins were forgiven...past, present and future.
What difference do you think it makes to know that all of your sins have been forgiven?
It means I can sin all I want without retribution. On the contrary side, so too can everybody else. Morality is moot and we are cast into darkness.
Thanks jesus!
2. Christ made you a child of God. "But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name -- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God." (John 1:12, 13).
What did you do to become a child of God?
Apparently God seems to have had his way with my mother without my father's consent.
Naughty jesus.
3. Christ came into your life and He will never leave you. (Christ speaking) "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if any one hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him." (Revelation 3:20).
a) Where is Christ right now in relation to you?
Coming... into.... me?
^_^
This bible really is a perverse book.
b) (Christ speaking) "Whoever comes to Me I will never drive away." (John 6:37) Under what circumstances might Christ leave you?
For not coming? I mean, that's a pretty high expectations... after a few drinks or if you're not really in the mood it can take a while to get there *sighs*
c) According to this, how many times is it necessary to receive Christ?
Since we're the ones coming it's necesary for him to recieve us I suppose. So I'd say none, Jesus just loves to get a bit. However, I think that's a little selfish so would recieve Christ in return if he asked and was gentle.
4. Christ gave you new life. "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17). When you trusted Christ to be your Saviour and Lord, you began a new spiritual life. God will increasingly produce many new qualities in you as you grow in Him.
What do you anticipate will become new in your life?
A strange smell and the possibility of an STI? I mean, no offence but this jesus guy does seem to "be recieved" by a lot of people, and I dodn't think I've once heard him mention condoms. In fact, it's my understanding the church frowns upon such devices.
5. Christ gave you eternal life. "And this is the testimony; God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life." (1 John 5:11-13).
a) In who is the giver of eternal life?
God... is in... his son?
Now that's impolite at the very least.
b) Who has eternal life?
Whoever has God's son, according to this.
However, as I said earlier that many people having jesus would lead to STIs and a shortening of life. So I'd imagine.
c) Do you have the Son (Jesus)?
Well i haven't met the guy. He seems lovely though but I'm not sure if he's gay and I wouldn't want to impose. He did say a lot about loving thy brother and such though.
d) Do you have eternal life?
Well neither Jesus or God is in me at the moment, so it would seem not yet. But I hope eternal life comes lubricated.
e) When did eternal life begin for you?
To be honest I'm still uncertain as to the definition. Does it start merely at the act of penetration, or is it only when he comes in me? If we were to use a condom, would i still have eternal life?
6. Key Question: If you were to die tonight, how sure are you that you would spend eternity with God?
0%-25%
Eternity is a long time, and he doesn't seem like a one-man kinda guy. I don't think a long-term relationship would work out.
Please choose one. 0% - 25% - 50% - 75% - 100%
7. These wonderful benefits are based totally on Jesus Christ. None of them can be earned. You received them the moment you placed your faith in Christ.
Which of these five truths are especially meaningful to you now?
The very smutty content of this whole religion offends my quiet nature and reserved sesibilities. However, if this is what you truly believe then I respect your right to practice consensual sodomy with your Divinity. However I must request that no enforced buggery takes place upon my own person in the name of religion.
Because you've accepted Jesus, your relationship with God is secure. You are his child. He forgave your sins and gave you a new and eternal life. He will never leave you. When facing doubts about your decision, rely on the truths of the Bible and not on your feelings.
I expect an angry email in reply.
For some reason I just happened to be on poetry.com and entered a short poem in a competition. Apparently they want to publish it in a collection called "Immortal Verses." And is a semi-finalist in a competition in which i can win money. Yay! If I'd known that I can win money off these internet competitions I would have submitted more poems ^^
The publication seems to be a little bit Jesusy from the sounds of the letter. Although not overtly so, some of their comments just refer to the beauty and inspiration that comes from outside ourselves and whatnot.
Here's the poem:
New Zealand Sunrise
I see the Mountain far aloft,
Its grace and beauty shine and oft',
I wonder from which vantage best,
To seek the wonders of its crest.
Yet this mound I wish not to climb,
For from here is the most sublime
a feeling, when it's needed most,
To conquer makes that pang a ghost
So I'd prefer to sit and dream
Than lose forever what I see.
I actually wrote it about a boy I had a crush on... but whom sleeping with would have really fucked things up (which it eventually did... issues issues, nevermind.) See the metaphor, isn't it grand? Hehe. However, the publication also adds in the possibility of submitting a short prose passage describing the poem and the philosophical or personal meaning it has in your life, to be printed alongside it. I think I shall have to write that it's about TEH GAY-SEX0R!!!! Yay! Take that, beauty of creation!
Oh, and double yay. I'm now a published poet (well I already am... but this is an international publication... so it actually means something =P) ^^