Help_Haiti bonus fic - The Physicist and the Angel (TBBT/SPN fanfic)
Title: The Physicist and The Angel (at the end of the world)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 982
Disclaimer: Neither TBBT nor SPN belong to me.
Summary: Dean teaches Penny to throw knives. Sheldon and Cas discuss sex. Oh, and there are vague implications that they have to stop the apocalypse.
AN: This was going to be TBBT/SPN AU. Then it was going to be TBBT/SPN crack!fic. Now it’s…um…ohgod I don’t know.
Just read it already, you know you’re intrigued.
./.
...The Physicist and The Angel (at the end of the world)...
./.
Sheldon sits down, back against the stone wall. The fact that he doesn’t so much as flinch at the dirt on the ground, and therefore his pants and his hands, is perhaps more telling of the situation than the ruined building behind him, the rubble of what was once a city around them.
Across the way, Dean hands Penny a knife. “Again,” he says and, sticking her tongue out in concentration, Penny focuses on the wood slats and then throws it. Her wrist is still slightly off, and the knife lands lower on the charcoal drawn stick figure than she’d intended.
Dean starts laughing as Penny bites her lip to hide her grin. “Not dead,” he chokes out between guffaws, “But certainly incapacitated.”
Penny gives him a solid shove and then stalks back to Sheldon, sliding easily into his lap. “Sheldon, sweetie,” she says, “Why can’t you teach me instead?”
“Penny,” Sheldon huffs into her hair, “You know that while I did learn to throw knives with a fair degree of accuracy, I am not nearly as proficient as Dean.”
Penny sighs overdramatically, and then with a wicked grin shifts in his lap. Mouth close to his ear, voice breathy, she says, “Maybe not in that, but I think you’re pretty damn proficient at-”
He darts up, spilling her out of his lap.
“Penny!” he says. “There are times and places! How can you think about-”
“Oh shush,” she says, “I was only teasing.” With a smirk, she pulls a second knife from the sheaf on her ankle and then walks back to a grinning Dean.
“It is amazing how often they are focused on copulation, is it not?” Castiel asks, appearing suddenly behind Sheldon’s shoulder. He lets out a startled shriek and jumps a good foot to the right.
Castiel merely steps closer to him, eyes flicking to Dean who has turned to stare at them. “Right now he is imagining me unclothed,” he continues, voice low. Sheldon rolls his eyes.
“Despite the fact that it has proven my mother right, I have-as I have no other option except to think myself suffering an extended hallucination-accepted the fact that angels do exist. But while you have an exasperating habit of appearing out of thin air and standing far too close to me-”
“Dean has complained of the same thing. Although he has stopped now that we are engaging in-”
"The point being!” Sheldon cuts in, voice pitching higher, “Is that I have seen no evidence that you can read minds! You have no idea what Dean is thinking!”
“Of course I cannot read minds,” Castiel frowns, staring at Sheldon in confusion. “I have merely seen him look at me with such ill-disguised lust often enough to understand its significance.”
Sheldon opens his mouth, blinks and then shuts it. “Ah,” he says. “Yes, I understand what you mean. Penny has a way of tilting her head and just-”
“Exactly,” Castiel hums from mere inches away. Sheldon glares at him, but his face softens as he turns in time to see Penny nail the stick-figure in the gut.
“Sometimes,” he says, voice soft, “Sometimes I think that it’s worth all of this to have her with me.”
Castiel turns to him, dark eyes piercing. “I turned my back on my brothers for him,” he says. “Humanity as a concept, an abstract, with Dean at the core of all my imaginings.”
Penny hits the stick-figure directly through the eye, and Dean high-fives her, grinning.
“Will it work?” Sheldon asks, voice soft, and then he shakes his head at himself, annoyed. “I know, rationally, that there is no certainty in such a prediction, that we can calculate the odds but they are, in the end, only odds. I simply want her to be safe.”
“It has to work,” Castiel says. “There is no other option left.”
./.
Dean turns to Penny, tilting his head in their direction. “What’s up with Science and Faith over there?” he asks, and she rolls her eyes.
“They’re probably discussing how they’re going to pull Lucifer out of Sam’s body and stop the apocalypse,” she says dryly.
At Sam’s name, Dean’s face darkens momentarily, but then he smirks, eyebrows wiggling suggestively. “I’m kinda hoping they’re discussing an orgy,” he says, arms outstretched as he walks towards her, and she laughs as she darts away.
“Careful,” she says, “I’m getting better at the knives and you already know I’m a mean shot.”
“You are at that,” he says, dropping his arms and walking over to grab the knife. Penny’s looking at Sheldon when he turns around, her eyes troubled.
“I’m proud of him,” she says. “Proud of them, that they’re doing this, but in the end he’s just a physicist and I’m just a waitress, and I don’t know if we can do what you need doing.”
Dean bumps her shoulder gently with his. “Hey,” he says. “You’re both made of the right stuff. You left your friends behind, you left everything behind, and no matter how special your boyfriend is, he’s come through every time it counted.”
She shakes her head and then laughs unexpectedly. “An angel, a physicist, a waitress, and a hunter,” she says. “We’re the beginning of a really bad joke.”
He quirks an eyebrow at her. “Depending on how dirty it turns out, it could be a really good joke.”
They share a smile as they watch Castiel and Sheldon talk.
“We just have to keep them safe,” she says, and he nods.
“Is that your way of saying you want to keep practicing?” he asks, and she nods firmly.
“Yes,” she says. “As long as it takes ‘til we’re ready.”