help_haiti - The Return Contingency 3/5? (TBBT/SGA)
Title: The Return Contingency (3/5?)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1781 for this part.
Disclaimer: Neither TBBT nor SGA are mine.
Summary: TBBT AU S4, SGA AU S3ish (diverges before The Return, Sunday never happens)
An old friend of Sheldon's needs help, but he and his team have brought trouble with them... (Sheldon/Penny) help_haiti fic for ishie
Part 1 Part 2
...TRC Part 3...
At 9:23pm, Penny brings up sleeping arrangements, because she’s already spent too much time in Howard’s room, and quite clearly the ten of them can’t spend the night in the bedroom. Plus, Howard’s mom would probably flip.
(…hopefully flip.)
(It’s a weird family.)
Anyway, she brings up just where exactly they’re all supposed to be staying. Her apartment is obviously out. A fairly tipsy Raj is quite enthusiastic about bringing everyone to his apartment (Penny reminds herself to keep him away from Elizabeth, especially given the increasingly leering looks he’s been sending her for the past hour), but John vetoes that idea what with the fact that he works with Sheldon.
Actually, they aren’t too keen on even staying at Howard’s mother’s house.
“What, are we supposed to check into a hotel or something?” Sheldon sneers. (Sheldon hates hotels.)
“Well…” John drawls, looking at Penny thoughtfully. “They don’t know who you are at all…”
Which is how Penny finds herself on Howard’s arm, traipsing up to a hotel desk.
Howard’s arm.
This interstellar space hero stuff is not nearly what it’s cracked up to be on television.
(Also, Raj is never allowed to get drunk again if it’s going to put her in these positions. No, Howard, that’s not what she said.)
“Hello, could we get a room?” Howard asks the clerk at the front desk, sounding impressively un-sleazy for him. Clearly he’s taking the situation seriously.
“With the biggest bed you’ve got,” Penny adds. And then immediately winces.
“I like to roll around,” Howard smirks, and Penny elbows him solidly in the side.
“I’ll take the key,” she says, her voice dripping honey as she stares daggers at him. “Dearest, would you mind dealing with the paperwork and paying? Thanks, hun.”
./.
“You want to try to put yourselves out of phase,” Sheldon repeats, half-choking on the words in his shock. Rodney tips his hands this way and that.
“You know it’s much more complicated than that,” he says, “And we've found certain Ancient artifacts that clearly show similar properties-we’re halfway there-”
“Out. Of. Phase,” Sheldon repeats, voice much more grim. “The probability of accomplishing such a feat successfully-”
“We’re kind of in the habit of accomplishing the impossible,” John cuts in with a smirk.
“Improbable,” Rodney and Sheldon correct simultaneously. Penny hides a grin behind her hand.
“If we can enter the SGC out of phase-”
“Do you have any idea if you’ll even be able to travel through the Stargate in that state?” Sheldon asks. Rodney half-shrugs.
“People have traveled through the gate in similar conditions,” he says. “To be honest, that’s what I’m least concerned about.”
“If you’re able to achieve that state, will you be able to get back,” Sheldon nods. “That would be problematic, at the very least.”
“At the very least,” Leonard repeats with a snort. Clearly he’s decided to just go along with things, despite how very crazy and irrational they may appear on the surface.
“You have the reports on these Ancient devices of which you spoke?” Sheldon asks, and Rodney rolls his eyes with almost gleeful exaggeration.
“No, I thought I’d just tell you about them and let you guess how they worked.”
“Ah, so your record keeping has not altered much since I last saw you,” Sheldon says, a touch of a smile tugging at his lips.
“You seem to have changed a bit, though,” Rodney says, his eyes flicking over to Penny with obvious curiosity. Sheldon follows his gaze and then he huffs out a sigh.
“Rodney,” he says, “From what you have told me, we have dangerous ex-government operatives tracking us down even as we speak. Perhaps we can play catch-up at a different time?”
Rodney grins again, a sort of quick grin that rises and falls and carries obvious warmth, and the way they bicker back and forth carries obvious familiarity. John nudges Penny gently with his shoulder.
“They’re kind of adorable,” he whispers with a grin, and she nods in amused agreement.
“They kind of are.”
./.
They don’t go to bed until sometime after 2am.
Penny’s not exactly sure what they accomplished, except the boys and Rodney and Zelenka kept oohing and aahing at the schematics, and then Rodney and Sheldon had started talking at a ridiculously fast pace, mostly forgetting to finish their sentences, and Howard had wandered off to watch John and Beckett and Elizabeth go over the SGC blueprints.
(When Penny has asked-all innocence-where they’d gotten them from, John had grinned and Elizabeth had looked entirely too guilty. All that she’d ended up with was that there was a guard who thought Elizabeth was quite attractive, but it’s not like Penny had any difficulty figuring out the rest.)
Now, the plans, Penny can follow those rather well. She used to go hunting with her dad, go on long road trips with her friends, so she knows how to read a map. And let’s face it, she’s always had a decent head for tactics (no matter how pissed Sheldon got when she outthought and outshot him in Halo) and it's clear she tends towards the same sort of fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants strategies that John evidently likes.
Most of the planning stages involved Beckett shaking his head and muttering prophecies of doom while John outlined hallways and sentries and how to avoid being seen after going out-of-phase in order to get to the gateroom before all hell breaks loose.
At 2am, however, the rush of adrenaline has worn off, and the complete absurdity of the day has caught up with them. Sheldon has vainly tried to hide his yawns, but most of them are ridiculously tired by now, and Elizabeth calls it a night.
Of course, this is when they have to face the fact that there is only one bed.
(Everyone had snuck in one-by-one to get to the room and avoid the gaze of the night clerk. It reminded Penny of all those road trips when they hadn’t had enough cash to afford more than one motel room.)
“I’m not sleeping on the floor,” Sheldon scoffs. (Sheldon Cooper does not sleep on the floor. Sheldon Cooper would rather stay awake all night. Standing. On nails.)
“There are two women, eight men, and one bed,” John says. “Penny and Elizabeth get the bed.”
“I hate sleeping on the floor,” Rodney mutters underneath his breath.
“There’s not enough space on the floor,” Leonard says, in that you’re an idiot voice. (There really isn't. It's quite a small room.)
“He will make us,” Radek sighs.
“I’m not sleeping on the floor,” Sheldon repeats, determined.
“Honey,” Penny says, “You’re not sharing a bed with Elizabeth and I.”
“I don’t see why I couldn’t just-”
“Sheldon,” Penny says, sweet steel in her voice, “You’re not.”
Sheldon Cooper sleeps on the floor, as close to the bed as possible, and Penny maybe holds his hand after John flips off the lights.
./.
Penny wakes up with a hand over her mouth.
“It’s okay, it’s me,” John says softly before she can freak out, and then he lets her go. “There’s someone outside,” he whispers. “Stay here, wake up Liz.”
“Wait, what-” she starts, but he’s already melted into the shadows. Penny crawls forward until she bumps into another body, and with an awkward scrunch of the face she tries to find the person’s face. “Liz?” she whispers.
“Penny?” Sheldon asks from behind her, and she shakes her head wildly, clapping a hand across his mouth.
(Okay, evidently she knows his body well enough to know where his mouth is in the dark.)
“Shhhhh,” she says, and then turns back to (who sure as hell better be) Elizabeth. “Elizabeth?” she tries again, and this time the body stirs, and then suddenly snaps into wakefulness.
“What’s going on?” Elizabeth whispers.
“John said there was someone outside and went to check. He told me to wake you up.”
“Christ, John,” Elizabeth mutters underneath her breath. She flips to her side and rolls off the bed with what Penny can tell is obvious grace even with the shadows, which, seriously, way to show off at four in the morning.
“Rodney,” Elizabeth whispers, and there’s a loud grunt and Elizabeth is hissing, “Rodney shut up right this second there are men outside who want to kill you.”
Rodney shuts up.
“What’s going on?” Howard whispers, suddenly behind Sheldon, and Penny (totally completely accidentally reacting on instinct) punches him in the face.
“Oh shit,” she whispers, and Sheldon has somehow already maneuvered Howard down onto the bed and has his hand over his mouth, muffling Howard’s voice. “Howard, I’m sorry, you have to be quiet,” she whispers frantically, “There are men with guns outside.”
(She maybe takes half a moment to consider just how quickly and easily Sheldon maneuvered Howard down. Texan she reminds herself with a little grin. Kind of hot.)
Raj is sober, so he’s silent when he waves his hands from nearby, keeping out of range of Penny’s fists. There’s a lot of shrugging and hand-waving going on, and Penny waves him away impatiently.
The door opens, and Carson is suddenly lit by the parking lot lights, standing to the side of the door with a raised object.
John, hunched over from carrying another person, shoots him a dirty look. “Is that a coffee pot, Carson? Really?”
“I couldn’t find my gun,” Carson says, and it’s a tie if embarrassment or fatigue are winning as he lowers the pot awkwardly.
John winces, looking at Carson, and it’s obvious to Penny if no one else that Carson is simply not used to the cloak and dagger routine. John seems to feel the same, because he drops the unconscious man to the ground and then shuts the door, flipping on the lights as everyone in the room lets out an unhappy moan.
“Our location’s been blown,” he says. He nudges the man on the ground with his foot. “He’s definitely part of the Trust, and he was scoping out the area. I don’t know if he’d already reported back, but we’re going to assume he did. So we need to be ready to leave in, oh, three minutes.”
Surprisingly, it’s Leonard and Radek who grumble the least. They’re up and throwing things into bags before Sheldon has finished blinking irritably at the lights, and far before Rodney’s finished grumbling at how very tired he is.
(“Rodney, we’re all tired,” John growls. “You, however, did not just get into a fight with a Trust operative. So shut up.”)
“Where are we going?” Howard asks. His nose is fine, but he’s still holding it and glaring at Penny.
John shrugs. “We’ll figure that out later,” he says. “Oh, and we’re going to have to steal a car.” He pauses, glancing around the room. "Actually, make that two."
...tbc...
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1781 for this part.
Disclaimer: Neither TBBT nor SGA are mine.
Summary: TBBT AU S4, SGA AU S3ish (diverges before The Return, Sunday never happens)
An old friend of Sheldon's needs help, but he and his team have brought trouble with them... (Sheldon/Penny) help_haiti fic for ishie
Part 1 Part 2
...TRC Part 3...
At 9:23pm, Penny brings up sleeping arrangements, because she’s already spent too much time in Howard’s room, and quite clearly the ten of them can’t spend the night in the bedroom. Plus, Howard’s mom would probably flip.
(…hopefully flip.)
(It’s a weird family.)
Anyway, she brings up just where exactly they’re all supposed to be staying. Her apartment is obviously out. A fairly tipsy Raj is quite enthusiastic about bringing everyone to his apartment (Penny reminds herself to keep him away from Elizabeth, especially given the increasingly leering looks he’s been sending her for the past hour), but John vetoes that idea what with the fact that he works with Sheldon.
Actually, they aren’t too keen on even staying at Howard’s mother’s house.
“What, are we supposed to check into a hotel or something?” Sheldon sneers. (Sheldon hates hotels.)
“Well…” John drawls, looking at Penny thoughtfully. “They don’t know who you are at all…”
Which is how Penny finds herself on Howard’s arm, traipsing up to a hotel desk.
Howard’s arm.
This interstellar space hero stuff is not nearly what it’s cracked up to be on television.
(Also, Raj is never allowed to get drunk again if it’s going to put her in these positions. No, Howard, that’s not what she said.)
“Hello, could we get a room?” Howard asks the clerk at the front desk, sounding impressively un-sleazy for him. Clearly he’s taking the situation seriously.
“With the biggest bed you’ve got,” Penny adds. And then immediately winces.
“I like to roll around,” Howard smirks, and Penny elbows him solidly in the side.
“I’ll take the key,” she says, her voice dripping honey as she stares daggers at him. “Dearest, would you mind dealing with the paperwork and paying? Thanks, hun.”
./.
“You want to try to put yourselves out of phase,” Sheldon repeats, half-choking on the words in his shock. Rodney tips his hands this way and that.
“You know it’s much more complicated than that,” he says, “And we've found certain Ancient artifacts that clearly show similar properties-we’re halfway there-”
“Out. Of. Phase,” Sheldon repeats, voice much more grim. “The probability of accomplishing such a feat successfully-”
“We’re kind of in the habit of accomplishing the impossible,” John cuts in with a smirk.
“Improbable,” Rodney and Sheldon correct simultaneously. Penny hides a grin behind her hand.
“If we can enter the SGC out of phase-”
“Do you have any idea if you’ll even be able to travel through the Stargate in that state?” Sheldon asks. Rodney half-shrugs.
“People have traveled through the gate in similar conditions,” he says. “To be honest, that’s what I’m least concerned about.”
“If you’re able to achieve that state, will you be able to get back,” Sheldon nods. “That would be problematic, at the very least.”
“At the very least,” Leonard repeats with a snort. Clearly he’s decided to just go along with things, despite how very crazy and irrational they may appear on the surface.
“You have the reports on these Ancient devices of which you spoke?” Sheldon asks, and Rodney rolls his eyes with almost gleeful exaggeration.
“No, I thought I’d just tell you about them and let you guess how they worked.”
“Ah, so your record keeping has not altered much since I last saw you,” Sheldon says, a touch of a smile tugging at his lips.
“You seem to have changed a bit, though,” Rodney says, his eyes flicking over to Penny with obvious curiosity. Sheldon follows his gaze and then he huffs out a sigh.
“Rodney,” he says, “From what you have told me, we have dangerous ex-government operatives tracking us down even as we speak. Perhaps we can play catch-up at a different time?”
Rodney grins again, a sort of quick grin that rises and falls and carries obvious warmth, and the way they bicker back and forth carries obvious familiarity. John nudges Penny gently with his shoulder.
“They’re kind of adorable,” he whispers with a grin, and she nods in amused agreement.
“They kind of are.”
./.
They don’t go to bed until sometime after 2am.
Penny’s not exactly sure what they accomplished, except the boys and Rodney and Zelenka kept oohing and aahing at the schematics, and then Rodney and Sheldon had started talking at a ridiculously fast pace, mostly forgetting to finish their sentences, and Howard had wandered off to watch John and Beckett and Elizabeth go over the SGC blueprints.
(When Penny has asked-all innocence-where they’d gotten them from, John had grinned and Elizabeth had looked entirely too guilty. All that she’d ended up with was that there was a guard who thought Elizabeth was quite attractive, but it’s not like Penny had any difficulty figuring out the rest.)
Now, the plans, Penny can follow those rather well. She used to go hunting with her dad, go on long road trips with her friends, so she knows how to read a map. And let’s face it, she’s always had a decent head for tactics (no matter how pissed Sheldon got when she outthought and outshot him in Halo) and it's clear she tends towards the same sort of fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants strategies that John evidently likes.
Most of the planning stages involved Beckett shaking his head and muttering prophecies of doom while John outlined hallways and sentries and how to avoid being seen after going out-of-phase in order to get to the gateroom before all hell breaks loose.
At 2am, however, the rush of adrenaline has worn off, and the complete absurdity of the day has caught up with them. Sheldon has vainly tried to hide his yawns, but most of them are ridiculously tired by now, and Elizabeth calls it a night.
Of course, this is when they have to face the fact that there is only one bed.
(Everyone had snuck in one-by-one to get to the room and avoid the gaze of the night clerk. It reminded Penny of all those road trips when they hadn’t had enough cash to afford more than one motel room.)
“I’m not sleeping on the floor,” Sheldon scoffs. (Sheldon Cooper does not sleep on the floor. Sheldon Cooper would rather stay awake all night. Standing. On nails.)
“There are two women, eight men, and one bed,” John says. “Penny and Elizabeth get the bed.”
“I hate sleeping on the floor,” Rodney mutters underneath his breath.
“There’s not enough space on the floor,” Leonard says, in that you’re an idiot voice. (There really isn't. It's quite a small room.)
“He will make us,” Radek sighs.
“I’m not sleeping on the floor,” Sheldon repeats, determined.
“Honey,” Penny says, “You’re not sharing a bed with Elizabeth and I.”
“I don’t see why I couldn’t just-”
“Sheldon,” Penny says, sweet steel in her voice, “You’re not.”
Sheldon Cooper sleeps on the floor, as close to the bed as possible, and Penny maybe holds his hand after John flips off the lights.
./.
Penny wakes up with a hand over her mouth.
“It’s okay, it’s me,” John says softly before she can freak out, and then he lets her go. “There’s someone outside,” he whispers. “Stay here, wake up Liz.”
“Wait, what-” she starts, but he’s already melted into the shadows. Penny crawls forward until she bumps into another body, and with an awkward scrunch of the face she tries to find the person’s face. “Liz?” she whispers.
“Penny?” Sheldon asks from behind her, and she shakes her head wildly, clapping a hand across his mouth.
(Okay, evidently she knows his body well enough to know where his mouth is in the dark.)
“Shhhhh,” she says, and then turns back to (who sure as hell better be) Elizabeth. “Elizabeth?” she tries again, and this time the body stirs, and then suddenly snaps into wakefulness.
“What’s going on?” Elizabeth whispers.
“John said there was someone outside and went to check. He told me to wake you up.”
“Christ, John,” Elizabeth mutters underneath her breath. She flips to her side and rolls off the bed with what Penny can tell is obvious grace even with the shadows, which, seriously, way to show off at four in the morning.
“Rodney,” Elizabeth whispers, and there’s a loud grunt and Elizabeth is hissing, “Rodney shut up right this second there are men outside who want to kill you.”
Rodney shuts up.
“What’s going on?” Howard whispers, suddenly behind Sheldon, and Penny (totally completely accidentally reacting on instinct) punches him in the face.
“Oh shit,” she whispers, and Sheldon has somehow already maneuvered Howard down onto the bed and has his hand over his mouth, muffling Howard’s voice. “Howard, I’m sorry, you have to be quiet,” she whispers frantically, “There are men with guns outside.”
(She maybe takes half a moment to consider just how quickly and easily Sheldon maneuvered Howard down. Texan she reminds herself with a little grin. Kind of hot.)
Raj is sober, so he’s silent when he waves his hands from nearby, keeping out of range of Penny’s fists. There’s a lot of shrugging and hand-waving going on, and Penny waves him away impatiently.
The door opens, and Carson is suddenly lit by the parking lot lights, standing to the side of the door with a raised object.
John, hunched over from carrying another person, shoots him a dirty look. “Is that a coffee pot, Carson? Really?”
“I couldn’t find my gun,” Carson says, and it’s a tie if embarrassment or fatigue are winning as he lowers the pot awkwardly.
John winces, looking at Carson, and it’s obvious to Penny if no one else that Carson is simply not used to the cloak and dagger routine. John seems to feel the same, because he drops the unconscious man to the ground and then shuts the door, flipping on the lights as everyone in the room lets out an unhappy moan.
“Our location’s been blown,” he says. He nudges the man on the ground with his foot. “He’s definitely part of the Trust, and he was scoping out the area. I don’t know if he’d already reported back, but we’re going to assume he did. So we need to be ready to leave in, oh, three minutes.”
Surprisingly, it’s Leonard and Radek who grumble the least. They’re up and throwing things into bags before Sheldon has finished blinking irritably at the lights, and far before Rodney’s finished grumbling at how very tired he is.
(“Rodney, we’re all tired,” John growls. “You, however, did not just get into a fight with a Trust operative. So shut up.”)
“Where are we going?” Howard asks. His nose is fine, but he’s still holding it and glaring at Penny.
John shrugs. “We’ll figure that out later,” he says. “Oh, and we’re going to have to steal a car.” He pauses, glancing around the room. "Actually, make that two."
...tbc...