Everything's Made to be Broken (Supernatural fanfic)
Title: Everything's Made to be Broken
Rating: PG-ish.
Genre and/or Pairing: Angsty. Dean/Cas or Dean&Cas
Spoilers: Through early season 4.
Warnings: Major character death.
Word Count: 428
Disclaimer: Don't own SPN, etc. Title from Goo Goo Dolls "Iris."
Summary: One-shot. Set after the inevitable final battle. Castiel watches Dean. (reposted from ff.net)
...Everything's Made to be Broken...
./.
You watch him. Not because you have to, or because you want to, but out of a desperate sort of need. Because you’ve made dozens of excuses for his every little behavior, even though you’ve always known the reason, never been able to handle the reason.
You feel responsible, even though it was your Father that ordered his salvation, your Father that ordered his brothers destruction.
But you could have done it, couldn’t you?
He was so worn down, so tired and already half-destroyed by what he’d seen, by what he’d had to do, by what he knew his brother was doing, what could no longer be pretended away.
Part of you know it wasn’t your Father’s orders, and it wasn’t his father’s orders, or his promise to his brother, Sam-that’d he only done what he’d always done-protected Sammy. Even from himself. Protected the Sam-that-had-been from the Sam-that-was.
It hadn’t been quick, and it hadn’t been easy, and at the end of the hunt there’d only been Sammy, with his demon blood slipping away.
Afterward, Dean didn’t kill himself. You’d thought he would, you’d thought, with almost a bitter sort of self-satisfaction that at least it would be done, their line would be done, and no more suffering could touch the boy, Father would surely see to that, suicide or not, hell-spawn brother or not.
But he’d stood there, staring at the gun, staring at the crimson splatters that etched his brother’s life on the tile floor, and then walked away. Not for Father, but for Sam, lifeless on the ground, for the promise he had made when Sam had asked, the lessons he had learned as a child, his own personal commandment:
Protect those who cannot protect themselves.
Dean Winchester saved the world, for his part.
And the battle is over, and Earth has gained her reprieve, and you watch him, still, with the nagging feeling that whatever your Father said, whatever John Winchester had said, you could have killed Sam, instead of him, for him, and maybe you should’ve, maybe you could've stopped this painful imitation of life, maybe you should've released everyone from the promises they had no choice to make, the destiny they could no longer fight.
It’s blasphemous. It’s heretical.
And watching him tossing and turning on his lumpy hotel bed, watching him risk his life more and more on each hunt, begging for the release he won’t give himself, the end he’s sworn to deny, you know, Castiel, that despite everything…
It’s the truth.
Finis
.//.
AN: First and foremost, I love Sam and don't think he's going to turn into evil demon!boy. BUT. This is what happens when I get writer's block at 2am. Be warned.
Je t'aime! Wolfie.
Rating: PG-ish.
Genre and/or Pairing: Angsty. Dean/Cas or Dean&Cas
Spoilers: Through early season 4.
Warnings: Major character death.
Word Count: 428
Disclaimer: Don't own SPN, etc. Title from Goo Goo Dolls "Iris."
Summary: One-shot. Set after the inevitable final battle. Castiel watches Dean. (reposted from ff.net)
...Everything's Made to be Broken...
./.
You watch him. Not because you have to, or because you want to, but out of a desperate sort of need. Because you’ve made dozens of excuses for his every little behavior, even though you’ve always known the reason, never been able to handle the reason.
You feel responsible, even though it was your Father that ordered his salvation, your Father that ordered his brothers destruction.
But you could have done it, couldn’t you?
He was so worn down, so tired and already half-destroyed by what he’d seen, by what he’d had to do, by what he knew his brother was doing, what could no longer be pretended away.
Part of you know it wasn’t your Father’s orders, and it wasn’t his father’s orders, or his promise to his brother, Sam-that’d he only done what he’d always done-protected Sammy. Even from himself. Protected the Sam-that-had-been from the Sam-that-was.
It hadn’t been quick, and it hadn’t been easy, and at the end of the hunt there’d only been Sammy, with his demon blood slipping away.
Afterward, Dean didn’t kill himself. You’d thought he would, you’d thought, with almost a bitter sort of self-satisfaction that at least it would be done, their line would be done, and no more suffering could touch the boy, Father would surely see to that, suicide or not, hell-spawn brother or not.
But he’d stood there, staring at the gun, staring at the crimson splatters that etched his brother’s life on the tile floor, and then walked away. Not for Father, but for Sam, lifeless on the ground, for the promise he had made when Sam had asked, the lessons he had learned as a child, his own personal commandment:
Protect those who cannot protect themselves.
Dean Winchester saved the world, for his part.
And the battle is over, and Earth has gained her reprieve, and you watch him, still, with the nagging feeling that whatever your Father said, whatever John Winchester had said, you could have killed Sam, instead of him, for him, and maybe you should’ve, maybe you could've stopped this painful imitation of life, maybe you should've released everyone from the promises they had no choice to make, the destiny they could no longer fight.
It’s blasphemous. It’s heretical.
And watching him tossing and turning on his lumpy hotel bed, watching him risk his life more and more on each hunt, begging for the release he won’t give himself, the end he’s sworn to deny, you know, Castiel, that despite everything…
It’s the truth.
Finis
.//.
AN: First and foremost, I love Sam and don't think he's going to turn into evil demon!boy. BUT. This is what happens when I get writer's block at 2am. Be warned.
Je t'aime! Wolfie.