?death?

[mukudori]

I believe I came into awareness of it around the age of eight. My parents had explained the concept to my siblings and I, prior to putting a pet to sleep. I associated the concept with the blackness of unconsciousness, and it terrified me from the very beginning. I used to lay in bed at night, trying to sleep, but inevitably dwelling on the fact

Comments

[titanstein]

And yet you want to make people look like they're dead or on the way to it lol.
Very insightful though. I agree with the space thing. It's very nerve wracking to think about it all. I believe humans do not have the mental capacity to deal with that, that's why we don't understand a lot of 'up there'.

[mukudori]

The weird thing is, at least physicists and astronomers DO, which is amazing to me, to understand that we're little more than pond scum in a petri dish, a natural mold-like product of the tiny ecosystem orbiting one ball of gas out of countless trillions, and yet none of these people seem terrified, or even concerned. Though I suppose being concerned about something you can't control is pointless. Still.
It's pretty far out.

[jackalopemonger]

This is pretty similar to my take on things. I've only experienced that sensation of mortal terror of death once, but that was plenty for me

[mukudori]

I would like to face it boldly as you do, because I do find these subjects fascinating, just jointly terrifying. While my response to these ideas seems involuntary, it would be exciting if I could eventually overcome the phobia. I'm always impressed with people like yourself who have a fair breadth of understanding about our standing in the universe, yet take it in stride. Perhaps I'm too self-important :P.

[jackalopemonger]

Hah, well, half the time I'm whimpering in a corner along with everybody else. But thank you.

Sounds like you should smoke more

[swordess]

Awarness of death has been creaping into my life now for about two years. I mean sure, I ws aware of it before,but not aware of how it pertaned to me. Both my mother's illness and Basha's passing have really gotten the gears turning. Did you know we don't really know why we die( of natural causes at least) What deat is is interesting to think about, but I worry about my mental well being when I do so for extended periods of time

Re: Sounds like you should smoke more

[mukudori]

I'm sure that my energy/matter is reconstituted into any number of things, including other animals, but what bothers is the disintegration of my personal consciousness. I believe that it is purely a product of the physical matter and chemicals in my brain, and once consumed by bacteria or animals, flame, whatever,(or simply deprived of oxygen) it is destroyed forever. I have no concept of soul that strikes me as likely.

[ghettoishbofabe]

this is one of the most interesting posts i have read in a long time. :)

[mukudori]

Heh, thanks, I'll try to post a little more often. I'm usually up to date on everyone else. I'm glad you and your boyfriend are doing well! If it's still Zack, you've been together awhile now.

[ghettoishbofabe]

yep its zak and its has been 3 years in april!

The Pathological Sublime

[jackalopemonger]

I realized I do not have your current e-mail address, so I figured leaving you a comment would work equally well:

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/08/04/a-young-persons-guid.html

Re: The Pathological Sublime

[mukudori]

Thanks Ben, both the article and the paintings were very interesting. Strange that my fear of the vast should coincide with my anatomical interests. I don't know if I told you, but I recently went to the Mutter Museum in Philly. Weird little coincidence.

Re: The Pathological Sublime

[jackalopemonger]

I remember you telling me about the Mutter Museum. It sounds like quite a neat place.

Send me your eeeeeeeeeee-mail: jackalopemonger-at-gmail-dot-com

Re: The Pathological Sublime

[mukudori]

fuzzyimp-at-hotmail-dot-com