A delayed birthday present...
Author: muldy
Title: Kuregererwa
Rating: PG
Spoilers: 2x22 - Sona
Characters: Paul Kellerman, Sara Tancredi (slight Kellerman/Sara ship)
Summary: He smiled to himself, glad he had thrown her off completely because he wasn’t entirely sure he was capable of having a conversation with her.
A/N: For becisvolatile - Happy Birthday! I know I'm late...also written for the pbhiatus_fic Challenge #5 "They say it's your birthday!"
Thanks to smirky_turkey for the header.
Kuregererwa (Shona - Zimbabwe) - translated to English: 'to be forgiven'
He realised something sitting in his cell. He couldn’t remember the last time he had celebrated his birthday - in fact he had to think for a few moments before he could remember his exact age. He had lost his entire life to a useless cause.
It hadn’t been until he glanced at the date set for his court case that he’d realised what day it had been set for. His birthday.
“Kellerman.”
He looked up, recognising the voice instantly. Sara Tancredi stood outside the bars at the entrance to his cell. She had changed her attire from earlier and she looked more like the Sara he remembered, less like the anxious woman from the courtroom.
“Sara,” he greeted.
She stood there for a few moments, fiddling with her hands. He didn’t blame her, he wouldn’t know what to say to himself either.
“It’s my birthday,” he commented.
She looked at him in surprise, her face softening slightly. “Ah, that wasn’t what I expected to hear.”
He smiled to himself, glad he had thrown her off completely because he wasn’t entirely sure he was capable of having a conversation with her. He didn’t exactly feel like explaining himself to her, and he knew she wasn’t going to ask - therefore the whole point of her visit was lost on him.
“Thank you,” she said after a few moments, answering his question as to why she was there.
“I think I owed you,” he replied, standing up finally and walking over to her, placing his hands on the bars.
“Yeah well, you did try to kill me,” she said, raising her eyes to look into his for the first time.
“About that…” he started. “I was under orders…”
She waved a hand, cutting him off. “You’re forgiven.”
The weight seemed to lift off his shoulders for the first time since he had met Sara Tancredi. He couldn’t remember ever having received such a good birthday present, and then when he thought about it more he realised last time he’d even received a birthday present it had been a toy car and he had been young enough to appreciate it.
They both seemed to realise at the same time that they were standing in silence.
“I should go,” she said at the same time as he came out with “thank you”.
They both laughed nervously and he smiled as she looked down at her feet, shuffling them slightly. He had decided a long time before, but couldn’t help thinking it again, that if he hadn’t become who he was that she would’ve been exactly the type of woman he would’ve fallen in love with.
From the moment he’d met her he’d begun to admire her, he wasn’t entirely sure what it was at first, but the whole job had felt different from his other ones. Maybe it was because of ’Lance’, because of his personal connection to her, but he had never questioned himself while torturing someone before that day in the hotel room.
He smiled at her as she looked back up at him and slowly slid one of his hands down the bar until it lightly touched hers.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
She nodded slightly, her eyes dropping to look at their hands before she pulled back away from the bars. He felt his smile fade, reminding himself that this woman was not his friend, no matter what he wished she was deep down.
“You won’t see me again,” he said.
“I figured as much,” she focused her eyes on his. “That’s why I’m here. I just…wanted to talk to you, to let you know that I am…grateful.”
He waited for her to continue, knowing there was nothing he could say that would be of any use anymore. He had saved her, he had saved Lincoln Burrows, revealed everything and she had forgiven him. That was all he wanted.
“I have a flight to catch,” she stated.
“It was good knowing you, Sara,” he repeated his earlier sentiment, hoping that maybe this time she would understand that he meant it.
She had changed him for the better and that was something he couldn’t say about anyone else he had ever met.
“I can‘t say knowing you was entirely pleasant…” she replied after a few moments and then she paused before looking him directly in the eye. “…but you could’ve been a good man, Paul.”
He blinked a few times, taken back by the use of his name, and before he knew it she had turned around and started walking away from him. He almost shouted a ‘goodbye’ after her, but settled for silence.
Later that day, or maybe the next day, he would be transferred to a proper jail but he would never make it. The fact that someone had said he could have been a good man, that he was forgiven, before that happened, made it seem all worth it.
Just before she walked out of sight she turned around.
“Happy birthday,” she said.
He smiled slightly as she left.
He was going to die that day, yet it was still the best birthday he remembered having for a very long time.