just one time [1/?]
Title: Just One Time
Fandom: Sea Patrol
Pairing: Mike/Kate
Words: 2484
Summary: 'She had no idea who they thought they were kidding. Other than themselves.'
A/N: This may or may not turn into a longer fic. It probably will, but no promises!! For Jess & Nat cos they don't think I can write happy fic. So this is happy(ish?).
She wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing there. Her mind was telling her no, this was wrong, but she couldn’t leave. She’d almost lost him and it had made her realise that he was it. There wasn’t anyone else she could possibly care about in the way she cared about Mike Flynn.
It wasn’t that she hadn’t tried. She’d probably still be with Jim if he hadn’t seen straight through her - but she knew that was the problem. Everyone knew, even the people who had never really thought about it - given a single instant to consider the possibility they’d know.
She had no idea who they thought they were kidding.
Other than themselves.
Taking in a deep breath she knocked on his door. There was silence for what seemed like forever and then a light turned on. For a millisecond she considered running. She could disappear into the dark surrounding his place before he even had a chance to answer the door.
But the same fear that was causing her flight reaction was what kept her standing stationary, confused and unable to move.
‘Kate,’ he spoke her name the second he opened the door.
The flyscreen still separated them, and she knew that was probably all that stopped her hugging him and not letting go. By the time he unlocked that she knew the feeling would be gone. The overwhelming urge to never let him go again, in case him still being alive had all been some sort of dream, would be controlled by her common sense.
‘I brought wine,’ she stumbled on her words.
She didn’t miss the way a smile slowly spread on his lips as she said the three simple words.
‘You left the pub really quickly,’ she continued. ‘And…’
She paused. And what? She didn’t want to be without him? She wanted to make sure he was still alive? She wanted to kidnap him and run off into the sunset, screw the Navy?
She had no idea what she wanted to say, so she let the sentence hang.
‘Come in,’ he said, finally opening the flyscreen door and letting her in.
It had been a long time since she’d been to his place. He turned up at hers quite frequently, but there was something about being at his place. It felt forbidden, like she was doing something wrong purely by being in her CO’s house.
Mike’s house.
He followed her closely as they walked towards the lounge room, and she felt herself gripping the bottle of wine tightly, afraid that if she let that go all her inner thoughts would come flowing out with it.
‘Have you eaten?’ he asked as she took a seat on the couch.
She looked up at him in surprise.
‘Ah...I...don’t think so?’
Mike laughed and took the bottle of wine off her. ‘You know that shouldn’t be a hard question for you to answer.’
‘It’s been a long day,’ she almost whispered.
He looked at her differently now, his smiled faded and there was a hint of sadness. He had no idea what she’d been through that day. He couldn’t know. And she didn’t really want him to, because her reaction to his death had almost scared her. She had wanted to shoot the guy, wanted to empty the entire clip into him and blow his head off.
But she hadn’t, because she could hear Mike in her head telling her it wasn’t going to help. Nothing was going to bring him back.
And that had been when she’d lost it, been unable to stay strong anymore.
But then he’d been there. Alive. She’d never felt such an overwhelming flow of emotions in her life, and she was still completely confused by them.
‘Sorry,’ he said, handing her a glass of wine.
She realised they’d been silent for a good minute and she hadn’t even noticed him pouring the wine.
‘For what?’ she asked, softly.
He sat down next to her, a little closer than a CO should sit to his XO, and the way he looked at her definitely did not help her confused emotions. She just wanted to be with him, she wanted what all normal couples had.
Why was that so hard for them?
‘ Everything,’ he responded.
For a moment they sat in silence and there was nothing she could do to avoid looking into his blue eyes. His face was still bruised and his hair standing up in all directions, but she didn’t think she’d ever seen anything more beautiful in her life.
He cleared his throat and smiled, holding up his glass. ‘To life.’
‘To life,’ she whispered in response, clinking her glass against his.
She didn’t really feel like drinking, not anymore. Being around him was intoxicating enough, and she knew adding in alcohol of any kind was going to over complicate the whole night.
But she didn’t really care. She needed to be with him that night, even if it was just as friends, even if she slept on the couch and him in his bed. There was no way she could leave his side - she needed to know his was OK. And that the next morning he was still going to be there.
They didn’t talk much, and she finished her glass of red far too quickly, staring blankly out his window at the view of the water.
How was it that water and a boat could do so well to keep them apart. It was so simple. One or the other of them just had to leave the Hammersley. She’d spent so much time blaming Mike for the whole situation that she’d forgotten that she could just as easily leave. She could just as easily take a shore posting, or transfer to another ship.
But there was something about the Hammersley. Like it was their home, and if either of them left their relationship would fall apart. Because if they were both honest with themselves, the happiest they had ever been together was during their time on the Hammersley.
Sure the training course had provided them with a good time, but back then it hadn’t meant much. Or at least they hadn’t expected it to. And she found it ironic that they were so careful about not breaking the rules when it had been just as bad for them to be sleeping together when they’d first met.
She knew what the difference now was of course.
Back then it had just been sex, now it was so much more. Something much more complicated and intricate and any involvement with each other on board the ship would result in something going wrong between them.
But it couldn’t hurt just for one night…right?
She shook the thought from her mind, probably too physically, because Mike seemed to notice her head movement.
‘How come you were applying for a transfer?’ he asked quietly.
She’d forgotten that she’d never explained that to him. She took a deep breath, trying to push away all the emotions. This was all way too confusing for her. She had no idea what she was feeling and she could feel tears pricking at the back of her eyes. She didn’t want to cry again, she’d done enough of that in the previous 48 hours.
‘You told me that none of the people on the list could command a tug boat and then I found the list with my name on top…’
He leaned back into the couch, his eyes never leaving hers, his smile fading completely.
‘Ouch,’ he muttered. ‘Kate, you know I would never think that about you.’
‘I know, Maxine explained everything,’ she paused again, looking back out the window and blinking back the tears. ‘But by then I thought you were dead, I thought it was too late.’
He didn’t say anything, instead reaching forward and putting an arm around her, pulling her back into him so she was leaning against his chest. She had forgotten how comfortable that position was. To be in someone’s arms and not worrying about how wrong it was.
Of course she knew she should be worrying about that. But she couldn’t care less at that moment. Screw the rules, screw fraternisation, screw the Navy. She’d almost lost the man she loved and she wasn’t going to let him go anywhere by himself for a good long while.
Including his own house.
‘Are you staying?’ he whispered in her ear.
She felt a shiver down her spine as his lips brushed lightly against her skin, her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice and she lost her ability to prevent the tears from welling in her eyes. Now that he’d caused her to react with every possible cliché how could she possibly resist the invitation?
She’d also possibly forgotten to breathe.
Leaning slightly forward so she could look at him she took his hand in her own, staring at it for a good long moment before meeting his eyes.
‘Are you asking me to?’ she whispered.
‘Yes.’
His response was instant, and she could see it in his eyes. He meant it - he didn’t want her to leave anymore than she wanted to.
‘Good,’ she replied.
It was wrong, everything about the whole situation was wrong - but they had to. She’d never felt like this in her life, she hadn’t even been sure she could, and the idea of leaving Mike felt like he was dying all over again.
He was brushing his thumb lightly over her hand by the time she paid attention again. They hadn’t even drunk the whole bottle of wine and she knew exactly where this was going.
Exactly where it wasn’t allowed to.
But right then she couldn’t care less.
‘Kate,’ he said quietly.
She drew her eyes away from his hand and looked back up at him. She’d never seen anyone look at her like that before, his eyes were so full of need, of admiration, of hope.
‘Yes,’ she whispered, suddenly aware of exactly how close they were.
‘Just once,’ he whispered in response.
He was leaning even closer to her now and she knew the inevitable was about to happen. Is this what it took for them to be together? Thinking he was dead? Had it been her blocking the relationship all this time?
Not that she believed in breaking the rules, but right at that moment it seemed so ridiculous that they’d been following them all along. If no one knew they wouldn’t be hurting anyone.
The Navy didn’t want them to be involved because they were concerned about favouritism, about emotions getting in the way in dangerous situations. But it was too late for that. Mike would never treat her any differently from the rest of the crew - and his emotions were already in the way.
Hers too.
That had been clear that day.
She had a feeling Dutchy knew more than he was letting on, and she was convinced Swain and RO had figured it out long ago. The others she wasn’t sure about but it was only a matter of time.
‘Once isn’t enough, Mike,’ she whispered her response.
‘I know,’ he replied. ‘But I need this right now.’
He leaned his forehead against hers and her mind began to scream so many things at her at once. ‘Me too’ followed by ‘this isn’t how it’s supposed to happen’ and some small part of her mind telling her it was against regulations.
But the ‘me too’ was so much louder than the rest of them and she knew there was no point fighting it.
This time it was her who leaned forward, initiating the kiss. After all he had almost died that day, and she had thought he was dead - had thought it was her fault for not answering his call.
Finally her thought vocalised itself.
‘Me too,’ she whispered between kisses.
She can feel his fingers trailing lightly down her arm and every part of her body comes alive at his touch. It wasn’t until that moment that she realised how much she needed this. Needed him.
The only thought that was running through her mind as the kissing became more hungry, more desperate, was regret. Regret that they hadn’t been doing this every day for the past nine years they’ve known each other. Regret for blaming him so often when he wasn’t the only one at fault.
Regret for spending so much time following the rules.
Her next thought is that there’s a phone ringing. It’s not hers, but she knew the moment was gone.
He broke away and looked at her, the apologetic look in his eyes only barely concealing the need.
‘Sorry,’ he whispered, grabbing the phone off the table and answering it. ‘Mike Flynn.’
She understands. That’s the part she hates the most. That she can’t even be mad at him because when you’re in the Navy you can’t just ignore your phone ringing. Although matters of national security were rare on a patrol boat, it was always a possibility.
For the first time in her life Kate McGregor hated the Navy.
She watched Mike as he got up off the couch, putting distance between them. She didn’t blame him, talking to anyone on the phone in that moment would have been near to impossible for her and she admired how composed he sounded.
‘I’m fine, Maxine,’ he replied.
She felt a stab of hate for the other woman. She knew Commander White had more than just friendly feelings for Mike, not that she thought Mike felt anything back. Maxine wasn’t the one sitting on the couch, breaking regulations. She was.
That was some kind of comfort.
But it still annoyed her that it was Commander White interrupting them.
‘Can’t we do it in the morning?’
Kate felt her heart sink. They were never allowed to have their chance. No matter how hard they tried their relationship seemed destined to fail.
‘Yeah that’d be great, thanks. I’ll see you in the morning,’ Mike hung up the phone and turned back to her.
He stood in silence for a moment, watching her, as though he was trying to decide what happened next. She had no idea, but what she did know was that their façade of friendship had disappeared with his almost death and they couldn’t go back to the way things were.
‘Sorry,’ he said, walking back towards her.
She was surprised to see a hint of a smile in his eyes, and figured out exactly why when he bent down a moment later and picked her up off the couch.
‘Mike! What are you doing?’ she laughed, and did pause for a minute to wonder why people seemed to be under the impression it was OK to pick her up.
‘The couch isn’t very comfortable,’ he smiled as he carried her into his bedroom and dropped her on the bed. ‘More wine?’
Kate shook her head and pulled on his hand. ‘I’m not waiting another minute, Mike.’
He smiled.
And she didn't care how wrong it was. It was what they both needed.
Fandom: Sea Patrol
Pairing: Mike/Kate
Words: 2484
Summary: 'She had no idea who they thought they were kidding. Other than themselves.'
A/N: This may or may not turn into a longer fic. It probably will, but no promises!! For Jess & Nat cos they don't think I can write happy fic. So this is happy(ish?).
She wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing there. Her mind was telling her no, this was wrong, but she couldn’t leave. She’d almost lost him and it had made her realise that he was it. There wasn’t anyone else she could possibly care about in the way she cared about Mike Flynn.
It wasn’t that she hadn’t tried. She’d probably still be with Jim if he hadn’t seen straight through her - but she knew that was the problem. Everyone knew, even the people who had never really thought about it - given a single instant to consider the possibility they’d know.
She had no idea who they thought they were kidding.
Other than themselves.
Taking in a deep breath she knocked on his door. There was silence for what seemed like forever and then a light turned on. For a millisecond she considered running. She could disappear into the dark surrounding his place before he even had a chance to answer the door.
But the same fear that was causing her flight reaction was what kept her standing stationary, confused and unable to move.
‘Kate,’ he spoke her name the second he opened the door.
The flyscreen still separated them, and she knew that was probably all that stopped her hugging him and not letting go. By the time he unlocked that she knew the feeling would be gone. The overwhelming urge to never let him go again, in case him still being alive had all been some sort of dream, would be controlled by her common sense.
‘I brought wine,’ she stumbled on her words.
She didn’t miss the way a smile slowly spread on his lips as she said the three simple words.
‘You left the pub really quickly,’ she continued. ‘And…’
She paused. And what? She didn’t want to be without him? She wanted to make sure he was still alive? She wanted to kidnap him and run off into the sunset, screw the Navy?
She had no idea what she wanted to say, so she let the sentence hang.
‘Come in,’ he said, finally opening the flyscreen door and letting her in.
It had been a long time since she’d been to his place. He turned up at hers quite frequently, but there was something about being at his place. It felt forbidden, like she was doing something wrong purely by being in her CO’s house.
Mike’s house.
He followed her closely as they walked towards the lounge room, and she felt herself gripping the bottle of wine tightly, afraid that if she let that go all her inner thoughts would come flowing out with it.
‘Have you eaten?’ he asked as she took a seat on the couch.
She looked up at him in surprise.
‘Ah...I...don’t think so?’
Mike laughed and took the bottle of wine off her. ‘You know that shouldn’t be a hard question for you to answer.’
‘It’s been a long day,’ she almost whispered.
He looked at her differently now, his smiled faded and there was a hint of sadness. He had no idea what she’d been through that day. He couldn’t know. And she didn’t really want him to, because her reaction to his death had almost scared her. She had wanted to shoot the guy, wanted to empty the entire clip into him and blow his head off.
But she hadn’t, because she could hear Mike in her head telling her it wasn’t going to help. Nothing was going to bring him back.
And that had been when she’d lost it, been unable to stay strong anymore.
But then he’d been there. Alive. She’d never felt such an overwhelming flow of emotions in her life, and she was still completely confused by them.
‘Sorry,’ he said, handing her a glass of wine.
She realised they’d been silent for a good minute and she hadn’t even noticed him pouring the wine.
‘For what?’ she asked, softly.
He sat down next to her, a little closer than a CO should sit to his XO, and the way he looked at her definitely did not help her confused emotions. She just wanted to be with him, she wanted what all normal couples had.
Why was that so hard for them?
‘ Everything,’ he responded.
For a moment they sat in silence and there was nothing she could do to avoid looking into his blue eyes. His face was still bruised and his hair standing up in all directions, but she didn’t think she’d ever seen anything more beautiful in her life.
He cleared his throat and smiled, holding up his glass. ‘To life.’
‘To life,’ she whispered in response, clinking her glass against his.
She didn’t really feel like drinking, not anymore. Being around him was intoxicating enough, and she knew adding in alcohol of any kind was going to over complicate the whole night.
But she didn’t really care. She needed to be with him that night, even if it was just as friends, even if she slept on the couch and him in his bed. There was no way she could leave his side - she needed to know his was OK. And that the next morning he was still going to be there.
They didn’t talk much, and she finished her glass of red far too quickly, staring blankly out his window at the view of the water.
How was it that water and a boat could do so well to keep them apart. It was so simple. One or the other of them just had to leave the Hammersley. She’d spent so much time blaming Mike for the whole situation that she’d forgotten that she could just as easily leave. She could just as easily take a shore posting, or transfer to another ship.
But there was something about the Hammersley. Like it was their home, and if either of them left their relationship would fall apart. Because if they were both honest with themselves, the happiest they had ever been together was during their time on the Hammersley.
Sure the training course had provided them with a good time, but back then it hadn’t meant much. Or at least they hadn’t expected it to. And she found it ironic that they were so careful about not breaking the rules when it had been just as bad for them to be sleeping together when they’d first met.
She knew what the difference now was of course.
Back then it had just been sex, now it was so much more. Something much more complicated and intricate and any involvement with each other on board the ship would result in something going wrong between them.
But it couldn’t hurt just for one night…right?
She shook the thought from her mind, probably too physically, because Mike seemed to notice her head movement.
‘How come you were applying for a transfer?’ he asked quietly.
She’d forgotten that she’d never explained that to him. She took a deep breath, trying to push away all the emotions. This was all way too confusing for her. She had no idea what she was feeling and she could feel tears pricking at the back of her eyes. She didn’t want to cry again, she’d done enough of that in the previous 48 hours.
‘You told me that none of the people on the list could command a tug boat and then I found the list with my name on top…’
He leaned back into the couch, his eyes never leaving hers, his smile fading completely.
‘Ouch,’ he muttered. ‘Kate, you know I would never think that about you.’
‘I know, Maxine explained everything,’ she paused again, looking back out the window and blinking back the tears. ‘But by then I thought you were dead, I thought it was too late.’
He didn’t say anything, instead reaching forward and putting an arm around her, pulling her back into him so she was leaning against his chest. She had forgotten how comfortable that position was. To be in someone’s arms and not worrying about how wrong it was.
Of course she knew she should be worrying about that. But she couldn’t care less at that moment. Screw the rules, screw fraternisation, screw the Navy. She’d almost lost the man she loved and she wasn’t going to let him go anywhere by himself for a good long while.
Including his own house.
‘Are you staying?’ he whispered in her ear.
She felt a shiver down her spine as his lips brushed lightly against her skin, her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice and she lost her ability to prevent the tears from welling in her eyes. Now that he’d caused her to react with every possible cliché how could she possibly resist the invitation?
She’d also possibly forgotten to breathe.
Leaning slightly forward so she could look at him she took his hand in her own, staring at it for a good long moment before meeting his eyes.
‘Are you asking me to?’ she whispered.
‘Yes.’
His response was instant, and she could see it in his eyes. He meant it - he didn’t want her to leave anymore than she wanted to.
‘Good,’ she replied.
It was wrong, everything about the whole situation was wrong - but they had to. She’d never felt like this in her life, she hadn’t even been sure she could, and the idea of leaving Mike felt like he was dying all over again.
He was brushing his thumb lightly over her hand by the time she paid attention again. They hadn’t even drunk the whole bottle of wine and she knew exactly where this was going.
Exactly where it wasn’t allowed to.
But right then she couldn’t care less.
‘Kate,’ he said quietly.
She drew her eyes away from his hand and looked back up at him. She’d never seen anyone look at her like that before, his eyes were so full of need, of admiration, of hope.
‘Yes,’ she whispered, suddenly aware of exactly how close they were.
‘Just once,’ he whispered in response.
He was leaning even closer to her now and she knew the inevitable was about to happen. Is this what it took for them to be together? Thinking he was dead? Had it been her blocking the relationship all this time?
Not that she believed in breaking the rules, but right at that moment it seemed so ridiculous that they’d been following them all along. If no one knew they wouldn’t be hurting anyone.
The Navy didn’t want them to be involved because they were concerned about favouritism, about emotions getting in the way in dangerous situations. But it was too late for that. Mike would never treat her any differently from the rest of the crew - and his emotions were already in the way.
Hers too.
That had been clear that day.
She had a feeling Dutchy knew more than he was letting on, and she was convinced Swain and RO had figured it out long ago. The others she wasn’t sure about but it was only a matter of time.
‘Once isn’t enough, Mike,’ she whispered her response.
‘I know,’ he replied. ‘But I need this right now.’
He leaned his forehead against hers and her mind began to scream so many things at her at once. ‘Me too’ followed by ‘this isn’t how it’s supposed to happen’ and some small part of her mind telling her it was against regulations.
But the ‘me too’ was so much louder than the rest of them and she knew there was no point fighting it.
This time it was her who leaned forward, initiating the kiss. After all he had almost died that day, and she had thought he was dead - had thought it was her fault for not answering his call.
Finally her thought vocalised itself.
‘Me too,’ she whispered between kisses.
She can feel his fingers trailing lightly down her arm and every part of her body comes alive at his touch. It wasn’t until that moment that she realised how much she needed this. Needed him.
The only thought that was running through her mind as the kissing became more hungry, more desperate, was regret. Regret that they hadn’t been doing this every day for the past nine years they’ve known each other. Regret for blaming him so often when he wasn’t the only one at fault.
Regret for spending so much time following the rules.
Her next thought is that there’s a phone ringing. It’s not hers, but she knew the moment was gone.
He broke away and looked at her, the apologetic look in his eyes only barely concealing the need.
‘Sorry,’ he whispered, grabbing the phone off the table and answering it. ‘Mike Flynn.’
She understands. That’s the part she hates the most. That she can’t even be mad at him because when you’re in the Navy you can’t just ignore your phone ringing. Although matters of national security were rare on a patrol boat, it was always a possibility.
For the first time in her life Kate McGregor hated the Navy.
She watched Mike as he got up off the couch, putting distance between them. She didn’t blame him, talking to anyone on the phone in that moment would have been near to impossible for her and she admired how composed he sounded.
‘I’m fine, Maxine,’ he replied.
She felt a stab of hate for the other woman. She knew Commander White had more than just friendly feelings for Mike, not that she thought Mike felt anything back. Maxine wasn’t the one sitting on the couch, breaking regulations. She was.
That was some kind of comfort.
But it still annoyed her that it was Commander White interrupting them.
‘Can’t we do it in the morning?’
Kate felt her heart sink. They were never allowed to have their chance. No matter how hard they tried their relationship seemed destined to fail.
‘Yeah that’d be great, thanks. I’ll see you in the morning,’ Mike hung up the phone and turned back to her.
He stood in silence for a moment, watching her, as though he was trying to decide what happened next. She had no idea, but what she did know was that their façade of friendship had disappeared with his almost death and they couldn’t go back to the way things were.
‘Sorry,’ he said, walking back towards her.
She was surprised to see a hint of a smile in his eyes, and figured out exactly why when he bent down a moment later and picked her up off the couch.
‘Mike! What are you doing?’ she laughed, and did pause for a minute to wonder why people seemed to be under the impression it was OK to pick her up.
‘The couch isn’t very comfortable,’ he smiled as he carried her into his bedroom and dropped her on the bed. ‘More wine?’
Kate shook her head and pulled on his hand. ‘I’m not waiting another minute, Mike.’
He smiled.
And she didn't care how wrong it was. It was what they both needed.