invisible [1/1]
Title: Invisible
Fandom: Sea Patrol
Pairing: Nav/ET
Words: 469
Summary: 'She didn’t think anyone had noticed the drinking problem.'
She didn’t think anyone had noticed the drinking problem. The Hammersley crew definitely hadn’t, although in the Navy a drinking problem is hard to pick - but she wasn’t sure her friends and family had picked up on it since she’d left the Navy either.
Maybe it was because she drank alone most nights, sitting in her apartment, an empty fish bowl next to her. An engagement ring wrapped around her finger, reminding her of the now redundant promise she had once made to the love of her life.
She wants to move on, wants to find something else to do with her life, but she can’t. The day she’d handed her resignation to Mike Flynn she’d know what was going to happen, but at the time she’d convinced herself that was what she needed. Just time.
Time wasn’t helping, nothing seemed to stop the pain. Even the alcohol only served to dull the pain on occasion - most of the time having the opposite effect which usually resulted in her sitting in the dark, tears streaming down her face.
It wasn’t possible to move on from losing him, she’d known that all along, but most of the time she tried to pretend to other people that she was OK.
That was probably why no one had noticed the drinking thing.
Even she hadn’t taken much notice of it, not until that morning when she’d opened the fridge to grab fruit juice and ended up with the rum instead. It was midday before she was really drunk, and at five pm she’d woken up on her couch feeling the need to throw up.
She did that a lot.
It had been a whole year since she left the Hammersley, almost two since Josh’s death. Time didn’t mean much anymore though. In fact with each passing day it meant less.
The phone rang. She ignored it.
It was probably her mother. Or maybe it was Josh’s mother, she called a lot, like she took some kind of comfort in knowing someone else hurt as much as she did. Most of the time Nikki appreciated knowing the same - but at that moment she resented the idea.
It rang again.
She answered just to make it stop.
‘Nikki?’
It was only then she realised she’d never said ‘hello’ after picking up the phone.
‘Kate?’
‘What’s wrong?’
For a moment Nikki considered lying to her, telling her everything was fine, that she’d just been having an afternoon nap. But she knew Kate had a way of seeing through people. Plus she could probably use a friend.
There was no point in pushing everyone away.
‘I need help,’ Nikki whispered.
It wasn’t much, but she knew admitting it was the first step. Things would be OK, it was just going to take a really long time.
Fandom: Sea Patrol
Pairing: Nav/ET
Words: 469
Summary: 'She didn’t think anyone had noticed the drinking problem.'
She didn’t think anyone had noticed the drinking problem. The Hammersley crew definitely hadn’t, although in the Navy a drinking problem is hard to pick - but she wasn’t sure her friends and family had picked up on it since she’d left the Navy either.
Maybe it was because she drank alone most nights, sitting in her apartment, an empty fish bowl next to her. An engagement ring wrapped around her finger, reminding her of the now redundant promise she had once made to the love of her life.
She wants to move on, wants to find something else to do with her life, but she can’t. The day she’d handed her resignation to Mike Flynn she’d know what was going to happen, but at the time she’d convinced herself that was what she needed. Just time.
Time wasn’t helping, nothing seemed to stop the pain. Even the alcohol only served to dull the pain on occasion - most of the time having the opposite effect which usually resulted in her sitting in the dark, tears streaming down her face.
It wasn’t possible to move on from losing him, she’d known that all along, but most of the time she tried to pretend to other people that she was OK.
That was probably why no one had noticed the drinking thing.
Even she hadn’t taken much notice of it, not until that morning when she’d opened the fridge to grab fruit juice and ended up with the rum instead. It was midday before she was really drunk, and at five pm she’d woken up on her couch feeling the need to throw up.
She did that a lot.
It had been a whole year since she left the Hammersley, almost two since Josh’s death. Time didn’t mean much anymore though. In fact with each passing day it meant less.
The phone rang. She ignored it.
It was probably her mother. Or maybe it was Josh’s mother, she called a lot, like she took some kind of comfort in knowing someone else hurt as much as she did. Most of the time Nikki appreciated knowing the same - but at that moment she resented the idea.
It rang again.
She answered just to make it stop.
‘Nikki?’
It was only then she realised she’d never said ‘hello’ after picking up the phone.
‘Kate?’
‘What’s wrong?’
For a moment Nikki considered lying to her, telling her everything was fine, that she’d just been having an afternoon nap. But she knew Kate had a way of seeing through people. Plus she could probably use a friend.
There was no point in pushing everyone away.
‘I need help,’ Nikki whispered.
It wasn’t much, but she knew admitting it was the first step. Things would be OK, it was just going to take a really long time.