hi, this is one of your editors for this week. I'm so sorry about how late this is, but here it is, anyhow...
I really liked the flow of this piece. The play-on-words-names (ha) were really well done, and very, very clever. The subject matter was well produced and the dialogue quite nicely written.
Charity, ma’am.” you forgot a quotation mark!
She straightened her shoulders- though pride was something she had no right to- and stepped into the room. This seems a bit awkward. I think it's just the little part in between. I probably would reword it so that it doesn't end with 'to'.
other than that... I can think of no other thing to be said. I really enjoyed this piece. Great work!
Comments 13
I'm so sorry about how late this is, but here it is, anyhow...
I really liked the flow of this piece. The play-on-words-names (ha) were really well done, and very, very clever. The subject matter was well produced and the dialogue quite nicely written.
Charity, ma’am.”
you forgot a quotation mark!
She straightened her shoulders- though pride was something she had no right to- and stepped into the room.
This seems a bit awkward. I think it's just the little part in between. I probably would reword it so that it doesn't end with 'to'.
other than that... I can think of no other thing to be said. I really enjoyed this piece. Great work!
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