Second week of August BF entry-Brave and Crazy

[mullvaney]

“Are you sure you want to do this, Ms. Ryan?” The voice was male, but that was all I could tell about the figure addressing me. The room was mostly dark. Not surprising, it being underground. I think

Comments

[kelleypen]

I have never dreamed of writing from the POV of a suicide bomber. WOW. I'm astonished and amazed.

[mullvaney]

Thank you, Kelly. I almost didn't post this, it was so shocking when I was done.

I owe you a chapter of Lucresia and Romanus, but I'm stuck. I can't figure out how to make him decide to marry her. Maybe he won't ask, and I'll end up with something completely different than I started with. I'm really annoyed with him.

[kelleypen]

He could try an insulting mr darcy proposal . . . ;)

[mullvaney]

I just emailed you a new chapter to your gmail account!

[toxic_apiaceae]

Wow. It's so amazing to me how some writers are capable of packing so much punch in such a small number of words. Really, incredibly done.

[mullvaney]

Thank you! I really stepped off the edge with this one.

[cedarwolfsinger]

WOW. WOW. That's about all I can say. Talk about getting into someone else's head... (at least I don't think of you as a suicide bomber...)

[mullvaney]

Thank you! I really enjoy rummaging around in other people's motives . . .

[katden]

This is simplistic, very concise, and very powerful!!
Wonderful job, m'dear! You help us understand right away that this woman is mourning loved ones and desperate for an end, yet has gone through a methodical process in order to win her reward. Terrific!

[mullvaney]

Thank you, hon!

Editing

[cedarwolfsinger]

Hello, I am one of your editors for this week. Please note - I go paragraph by paragraph because that makes sense to me. Also - all my “changes” are merely suggestions. Take from them whatever makes sense to you and disregard whatever does not suit you.

You know I liked this because I told you so directly after I read it the first time. All I could say was “WOW!” On the third or fourth reading, I still have nothing I would change. I feel so bad for her - the exhaustion and the grief, the desolation she exudes is just heart-wrenching. The fact that the “Organization” (whoever they are and whatever they espouse) is taking advantage of her grief and pain and manipulating her for their own purposes makes me so very angry. I wish there was someone in her life to have made her see that she is going to make many other people suffer as she is suffering.

This is extraordinary work, I'm not surprised that you tied for first.

Re: Editing

[mullvaney]

Thank you again! I really wanted to try to make the point that, when peolple do these kinds of things, they have their own reasons, and sometimes they're just deluded tools. She really doesn't feel she has any reason left to live, but she's going to get her revenge.