REPOSTING: Wingless angels
Title: Wingless angels [oneshot]
Author: mumuja
Pairing: OnKey
Genre: Romance, a small hint of Angst.
Rating: pg
Summary: You don't need an angel to be your guardian. Love can be the only protection you may need.
Disclaimer: Only own plot
A/N: THE LACK OF ONKEY IS KILLING MEE!! D: seriously!! too much... mmm of other OTPs traveling around lj!! ugh. sometimes ninja! OnKey is too FREAKING NINJAA!! lol anyways, this was written on the spur of the moment, so pls forgive the failure!! <.< This is kind of different from anything i've ever written. You know i always write in Key's POV or Jinki's right? well, this is written in a third person POV, so it was mmm interesting! not sure i'm liking it though LOL xD, anyways, enjoy!! and do tell me what you think :D this was inspired by the song Far Away by Nickleback, you can hear it if you want!! and SORRY FOR THE LACK OF SPOTS!! >< it's 12:40 am and i'm tired *pouts* HOPE YOU LIKE IT!! :D ppl let's keep the ONKEY love aliveeeeee!
Wingless Angels
I don’t know if your wings are real,
But I’ve never seen you without them,
…and I follow you everyday…
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November, 1994
Kibum never believed in angels. His small three year old mind couldn’t comprehend how enticing creatures could possibly live in that heavenly spot above earth. It gave him quite the scare when he saw the tall feathery creature sitting on his bed one day, with his big majestic wings flapping in the still air as the owner of said feathers smiled warmly at him.
“Hello Kibum. How was your first day at Kindergarden?”
The normal reaction was to scream and run, and that thought crossed Kibum’s mind like a light bold in the sky, but there was something pure and alluring in that mystical inhuman being sitting ever so amiably on his bed. Surely there was no one at home to save him if he planned to run away; mommy killing herself at her second shift of the day, her father deeply buried 10 feet underground, and her nanny busily cooking away in the kitchen.
“H-hello… Mr. Angel.” The beautiful angel chuckled at the innocence exuding from the cute three year old, and Kibum found oddly fascinating how the handsome man sitting on his bed seemed to light up the small room with star imprints all over the walls. The window reflected the blazing sunset over the mountains, and soon the wooded floor seemed to bleed in a mixture of red and sun.
Kibum soon realized there was nothing to be afraid of, and taking one hesitant step forward, he quietly made his way towards the awaiting man at his bed, lifting his little hands up in a gesture that clearly established he was still a child.
“Come here.” In his small ears, Kibum thought that voice sounded like honey, and as he let himself be lifted and placed on the occupied bed, he resumed finally that he liked that sweet voice. It was just like his mommy’s voice, but much sweeter and peaceful. With big doo like eyes, he stared at the magical creature sitting just within reach; his hands itching to touch those soft feathers that seemed to brush his back with every flap.
“Mr. Angel, are you here to take me away?” The said man smiled tenderly, lifting his milky white hand to path his head in a fatherly way.
“No Kibum, I’m here to give you a special present.” Like an early Christmas, Kibum’s eyes glimmered with strained excitement, and soon he found himself jumping up and down on the bed. Without thinking, his hands were grasping the white tunic of the said angel, tugging them with every bounce of his little body.
“A gift? For me? Is it that art supply kit I begged my mommy to buy me last week?? I-I’ve been a good boy!” Kibum nodded at his words, eyeing the angelic robes for signs of a shiny wrapped box. The angel laughed heartedly at Kibum’s sweet manners, and as softly as possible he pinched his rosy cheeks.
“It’s not a material gift Kibum, it’s a spiritual gift.” Those were words a three year old could not comprehend very well, and he was about to ask the meaning of them when his nanny’s voice pierced the peaceful silence.
“Key! Dinner’s ready! Go wash up!” A groan escaped the boy’s lips, feeling disappointment wash over him as he hated to wait for presents, but he figured he couldn’t afford being naughty right now, at least not in the presence of an angel, so taking one last look at the heavenly man, muttering a soft be right back, he exited his room, half running to the kitchen, only to go back into the bathroom to wash up.
Dinner was quite hurried, and as Kibum shoved all the vegetables at a speed that put vegetarians in shame, he quickly thanked his nanny for dinner, half skipping towards the sink to drop his dirty plate with much effort.
“Why are you so happy about?” The small boy blinked innocently to the middle aged woman, before a big smile stretched his pink lips in a manner that looked almost painful for the old woman.
“I’m getting an early Christmas nanny!” The gloating woman only laughed softly at the cute boy’s antics, quickly nodding as she watched the eager boy race to his room. It amused her the energy that child could have, but again, being an only child still had its advantages, and having energy reserved in his bones 24/7 was one of them.
Key tried not to look too eager as he bounced through the door, but disappointment was clear on his face as he met the sight of his empty cold room. There was no sign of the angel man, or any other heavenly creature for that matter, so as sadness settled in his heart, Key tried not to look too forlorn as he slowly made his way to the duck themed bathroom to ready himself for bed. The loud crash that followed the silence minutes later had the three year old running back in, with one arm inside the pink one piece pijama, and the other one still bare. Tooth brush dangled dangerously over a wide open mouth while eyes as big as saucer plates eyed the small boy sprawled in some awkward angle across his bed.
“Key? I heard a loud noise a few minutes ago, like something fell from the roof…” The elderly nanny walked inside the room, and after a few minutes of awkward staring at the small messy bed, her eyes settled on the petrified boy by the bathroom door. She resumed it must’ve been the wind or something, and with one last look, she smiled and left the room.
At that precise moment, Kibum knew he was the only one that could see the groaning boy on his bed, so as slowly as possible, he approached the unmoving body, afraid to scare the mysterious being that just crashed into his bed minutes ago.
“H-hello?” The tooth brush finally met the floor, splattering some of the minty white paste on the floor, but the small three year old decided this was far more interesting than protecting his teeth from cavities. The groaning stopped a few minutes later, and after a couple of awkward rolling on the messed sheets, the mysterious boy scrambled on his feet, amusing Key greatly as he met the floor in the most painful way ever. He doesn’t seem scary Kibum concluded, and kneeling softly beside the injured boy on the floor, he resumed to poking his head with the forgotten tooth brush.
“H-Hi! You’re Kibum righ?” Key had never seen a boy so cute in his short life, and he stood frozen in the ground as the strange boy lifted himself up into a sitting position. He was probably six or seven years old, with big brown eyes, messy chocolate hair, puffy cheeks and equally puffy lips. Kibum nodded after minutes of staring, taking gladly the hand the older boy offered as he lifted both up from the floor.
“I’m Jinki! And, even though I’m still not an angel, I’m here to be your guardian.” The yourger boy stood in awe as the boy named Jinki arranged his disheveled pijamas, caringly buttoning the pink shirt after clothing his bare arm. As a ritual, Key lifted his arms up, not uttering a word as Jinki picked him up and placed him on the bed. Many thoughts, mostly questions, circled the little boy’s mind, but sleep was heavily sedating his senses. With half lidded eyes, the young toddler observed how the older boy seated himself beside him, softly patting his head in a tender manner.
“How come… you are not an angel but you’re gonna keep me safe…” Jinki chuckled, his administrations never wavering as he quietly pulled the covers over the relaxed body lying on the bed.
“Well, my Father, or our Father for that matter, told me that since I wasn’t born as a full angel, I would have to gain my wings in a special way, and well… I kinda feel bad to see the other angels floating happily in their pure white wings, so I decided I would become a guardian! Strangely, they didn’t mind me only being seven…but hey! I’m the youngest guardian in heaven right now!” Soon Jinki realized that somewhere in his speech he lost Kibum, and with one last caress, he climbed off the bed, making his way slowly towards the small rocking chair in the corner.
An hour passed, and as he was slowly drifting off to some nice deep slumber, the door slowly creaked open, reviling the beautiful face of a tired young woman. Jinki knew right away that that woman was Key’s mother, since he had been spying over the three year old for a week now. The young mother made her way softly into the room, trying hard to mute any noise caused by her high heels. Jinki hugged a big doggy plush that belonged to the younger boy as he stared at the way Mrs. Kim kissed Key goodnight.
“Hope you had a nice day at Kindergarten baby.” Jinki sighed, smiling softly as the young woman exited the room at last. The older boy never knew what it was like to have a mom, only knowing his Father from as long as he has memory. It must be nice He thinks to himself, his eyes slowly closing as he drifts to sleep in the rocking chair, dreaming of the joy it would be of having a mother.
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June, 1998
“I’m not lying!! I’m telling you! My best friend is a guardian angel!! Well, not an angel, since he still haven’t gotten his wings yet… but the point is that he is REAL!”
Key knew it was gonna be hard to convince someone as thick headed as Kim Jonghyun to believe in angels, but as doubt dangled from his almond shaped eyes, the younger boy knew it was gonna be almost impossible. Over the last four years Key has been secretly living with his guardian, the idea of confessing his secret to his earthly friend never crossed his mind, at least not until yesterday, while he was playing video games with his heavenly buddy. A sickening feeling settled in his very stomach as his nanny entered the room, looking puzzled as she saw her boy playing video games with a spare controller next to him.
“I hope you’re not expecting me to play with you…”
That had been the last straw for Kibum, and after school, he waited for his friend since Kindergarten, Jonghyun, to finish his soccer practice with the excuse of finally revealing him the greatest secret in the history of secrets.
“Key… you really don’t expect me to believe that right?” Of course, Key was had never been someone to take no for an answer, so after many failed attempts, the two boys came to an agreement.
“Meet me at my house at 3 o’ clock. I will introduce you to Jinki.” They sealed the deal with a salivated handshake, and after one last look at the jogging back of the blonde boy, Key realized what he had dragged himself into. In seconds, his feet were sprinting against the heated asphalt, backpack flying in the summer breeze as he raced to the third house on the left over Cherry Plump Avenue. His mother arrived late from work every day, approximately at 11 pm; an hour when it was very hard for him to wait up for her, or even feel her presence sneaking up in her room to place the goodnight kiss that never failed to miss.
“Nana!!” Key met silence as he hastily entered the desolated two story house. He smiled, remembering that on Tuesdays, his nanny reunited herself with her elderly friends until 5 pm sharp. Not caring to leave almost half of his belongings by the porch, the young boy quickly threw his school vest on the wooden floor; his neck tie and back pack following after.
“Jinki!! We have a serious problem!” Seconds later a loud crash was heard coming from Key’s room, followed closely by a series of groans and huffs. The seven year old didn’t need to peak his head inside the room to see the disastrous landing.
“I really need to work on my landings.” Key sighed, entering his room while groaning at the sight his eyes met. Jinki was half sprawled across the floor; legs awkwardly lifted by the end of the bed, and one arm was strangely bent over his own weight, while the other was being squashed by his head. Sometimes Key found himself wondering why God gave him this guardian, instead of a big strong almost ninja like guardian like he had seen in movies before. But again, Jinki was not only his guardian, but his best friend, so he couldn’t really complain.
“My friend Jjong is coming in about…an hour to check if you are real.” The eyes of the eleven year old on the floor widened considerately at the news pouring from the younger one’s lips, and as fast as a hummingbird, he was detangling himself from his mysterious angles, desperate to run or hide from the promise his best friend had just made.
“K-Key!! Why- How- WHAT!?” Key rolled his eyes, grabbing the shoulders of his erratic friend to shake him a couple of times out of his stupor. The young guardian blinked rapidly with each shaking, and after a couple of shakes and slaps, he was back to normal.
“Look, I want people to know I’m not crazy for having an invisible best friend okay? So you better appear as real in front of Jjong as you look to me!” The older boy nodded reluctantly, doubt clear in his eyes as he stared at the erratic seven year old running around the room.
“So uhh, what would be a good way for you to appear in front of Jjong without scarring him for the rest of his life…”
“I guess that performing one of my smooth landings is out of the question.” Key stopped dead in his tracks, staring intently at the older boy sitting on his bed. In seconds, he was falling on his butt with laughter hurting his stomach. Jinki joined him soon afterwards, and after minutes of unstoppable laughter and giggles, they resumed to preparing Jinki’s grand appearance.
In no time, the clock stroke 3 with its unceremoniously beeping, and both boys stood rooted to the ground, feeling the sickening sensation of reality banging on their doors. Key scanned his best friend with weary eyes, feeling something was off with the older boy. Suddenly, his eyes discovered at small but important detail that gave Jinki an ethereal look. If he wanted Jjong to believe Jinki was as normal as him, he had to look as normal as possible too.
“Your clothes… they look too…celestial.” Jinki pouted, eyeing his shiny white shirt, not understanding what was wrong with it. Key snorted, pushing the older boy to his bathroom while he fetched some normal clothes for him to wear.
Soon, a dreadful ring pierced the pregnant silence, and with a squeak from Jinki and a growl from Key, the younger boy skipped through the hallway and into the porch, kicking his belongings under his mother’s old tea table, before opening the front door wide open.
“Okay here I am.” The blonde boy was shifting nervously on the front steps, his baseball cap blocking his eyes as his fingers played with the hem of his navy blue t-shirt. Key grabbed one of the boy’s hands, earning a squeal in response as he dragged the stubborn nine year old inside. Key eyed the scrawny legs of his friend pointing out of the black shorts he was sporting, and debating whether they were strong enough to endure a shock, the thought was quickly forgotten as a loud noise of something dropping on the floor wavered through the air.
“Uhh wow!! It’s true then! No need to see anything else! See you later Key.” The younger boy was having none of that though, so as hard as his seven year old strength could push, he dragged the trembling body inside his room, making sure to lock the door in a safety precaution.
“Stay here.” The trembling 9 year old nodded, jumping every time a sound came from the closed bathroom. Key quickly crossed the room, entering the bathroom at once and gasping as he met… nothing. The small boy looked all over the place, even under the counter top where not even a fat rat could fit, but there were no signs of his young guardian. Exiting the bathroom with a disappointed look, he resumed to search under his bed, table, all over his closet and finally his house, hoping to find any signs of the missing boy.
“I knew you were bluffing.” Key could feel tears in his eyes as the idea of being seen like a liar started forging in his tiny mind. He left the older boy in his room as he gave one last attempt to search for his best friend in the kitchen. Fear started settling in his heart as he started to imagine all possible things that could’ve happened to the older boy in his small absence. Maybe he was discharged of being his guardian, or even forbidden to ever see him again. Sinking on the cold floor of the deserted kitchen, he cried.
“Oww!! OH MY GOD!” Key quickly retracted his hands from his tear soaked face, and as fast as lightening, he managed to make it to his room, almost laughing at the scene in front of him. Jonghyun had the most frightened look on his face, staring in horror at the strange boy that had landed on top of him.
“H-he came from the roof!!” Key chortled, forgetting for a moment his school friend as he flung his arms around the young guardian. Jinki ignored the pain on his back as his arms circled the trembling body closer, not daring to speak a word as Key cried in relief against his chest. After a few seconds of silence, Jonghyun started whining and trashing, complaining about the pain of having two bodies on top of him.
That day, Jonghyun believed in angels too, and Key learnt that he couldn’t live without his guardian, feeling almost terrified with the idea of the older boy leaving him. It was in that exact same moment where Key stared lovingly at the way Jinki chased a horrified Jonghyun all over his locked up room, that he understood just how deep Jinki had crawled under his skin. This was beyond friendship, but Key was still too young to understand the vast meaning of two consonants and two syllables pushed together, spelling love.
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October, 2005
“You wanna watch a movie?” Key tried to ignore the way his stomach fluttered and squirmed at the sight of that gorgeous smile he knew too well. His guardian had been with him for as long as he remembers, and he knew very well by now that the day he gains his wings would be the day part of his soul dies.
“I would love to.” Jinki ventured to the kitchen while the 14 year old popped some random movie on the already worn out DVD player. Okay I can pretty much shoot myself after this The young teenager stared in disbelief at the angst movie that started rolling on the screen. A few minutes later, Jinki appeared with freshly cooked popcorn, and two litters of soda. The lights were already dimmed, and the younger boy was nicely settled under the covers. The young guardian finally took a look at the movie choice, but decided to stay quiet while he climbed the occupied bed.
“I hope you know we’re lacking tissues right now.” Key snorted, punching lightly the arm of his guardian as he submerged his hand in the popcorn bucket while his mind tried to follow the dramatic plot. Mrs. Kim was out on a business trip, and Key’s nana was visiting some relatives in her hometown, so the 14 year old was practically alone in the big house, but despite all that, he knew he couldn’t be safer. Throughout the movie, the younger boy found himself related to the main character, even feeling his own pain as he lost his beloved one during the story. Would I be like that if I ever lost Jinki? Key wondered, stealing quick glances at the handsome buy shoving popcorns down his throat.
“How come adults can’t see you?” Jinki almost choked on his mouthful of popcorns, and taking one look at the curious fourteen year old cuddle up under the covers, he diverted his eyes back to the almost forgotten movie. Jinki asked his Father the same thing when he tripped in front of Mrs. Kim and performed one of his unceremoniously landings in front of Key’s nanny.
“I think it has to do with the innocence? Somehow, when someone turns eighteen they just… lose their innocence and their ability to see ummm things. In adulthood, only people who are sensitiv-” A small puff of air escaped Jinki’s lips as a bundle wrapped up in bed sheets collided with him on full force. Soon the young guardian realized his protégé was trembling and sobbing.
“Key? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want to stop seeing you when I turn eighteen.” Chocolate brown eyes softened at the sight of weakness, and as tender as possible, Jinki lifted the face of the sobbing boy in his arms. Words were no needed as hands cleaned the tears away, and before anyone could comment, lips were pressed in the fastest and most human way possible. It was a kiss of comfort, of belonging, but Key knew in his heart that kiss meant the answer to his feelings.
“I promise I won’t be leaving.” The eighteen year old embraced the trembling boy tighter, afraid that reality would crash his dreams. Jinki knew that once Key turned eighteen, he was gonna win his wings and stop aging all together. It was how thing were supposed to be, Key would be a grown up by then, not needing protection anymore, and Jinki would be happy in his angel position in heaven, but… the young guardian couldn’t comprehend yet why he felt so alone and lost with the idea of losing the only human he has ever known… or loved for the matter.
“Jinki I…I don’t want you to go..” Silence won the battle after that, and it took one look for Jinki to let a soft chuckle out. Key was deeply asleep in his arms, looking as beautiful as ever while the lights from the forgotten movie flickered blurry shapes all over his face, bathing him in a bluish halo.
Jinki hugged the sleeping body closer to his chest, smiling despite his tears as he resumed to watching the movie with heaviness in his heart. He wondered why his Father had given him such duty, if temptation was something he was having trouble fighting with.
I never give my children a cross too big for them to carry; there’s a size for everyone.
Jinki took one look at the sleeping angel in his arms, sighing softly at the small but deceiving cross in his arms. He wondered that night if he was gonna be able to fulfill his duty as a guardian; sure, he has been protecting Key ever since the day he was three, but at the same time, was he gonna be able to protect him from the pain once his eighteen birthday comes up? He wouldn’t be here for Key’s pain to be ebbed away, and once the young boy realizes he lied that night when he promised he was never going to leave, well… Jinki knew that at that moment, he would surely die a little.
“But for tonight… let me hold you…” He cried that night. Cried for him, cried for Key, and cried for what was slowly forming in his heart, knowing perfectly way that he was softly gonna die with the impossibility of such feeling to live.
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September, 2007
“Have you tried coming out of the house?” The young guardian tilted his head as curiosity slipped in his system. His long term friend, Kim Jonghyun, was sprawled across his protégé’s bed; the pure image of laziness. Jinki had wondered many times before if his earthly boundaries could be crossed, but since Kibum was always home, there really was no point in wondering was there?
The older boy shook his head, plopping in the old rocking chair almost abandoned in the corner. Kibum had said he was meeting a friend from school to finish a science project, and Jinki could feel a bad sensation sickening his insides. He knew there was no harm in Key meeting a friend after school, in fact, it was kind of imperative since the clumsy guardian still had difficulties controlling to which people he wanted to manifest himself and who not. Jonghyun decided to stop by, not wanting to leave one of his best friends alone and gloomy. The young blond boy had accepted the existence of Kibum’s heavenly young guardian years ago, having forgiven the older boy for landing over his head ever so disastrously when he was nine years old.
“Come on! Let’s go do some human bonding.” Jinki wanted to refuse, but deep down he knew he was curious to learn the human culture just like Jonghyun was eager to teach the teenage everyday life. Jinki stood up, dusting his shiny white clothes, oblivious to the disapproving look the young student was throwing at his way. A small sound of disapproval escaped from the guardians look as he was pulled roughly to the bathroom.
“Stay here, I’m fetching you some normal clothes, cause dude… you shine too much.”
After many failed attempts to make the inhuman creature real enough, the frustrated blond finally manage to take some of the glimmering sparkles away. They settled for a black long sleeved shirt, a pair of dark blue jeans and some black slip-ons. With one approving glance at the body mirror, both boys ventured themselves out of the desolated house and into life.
Jinki had to squint his eyes to stop the sun from blinding his soft pupils. Sure, heaven was all shiny and sparkly, but the light up there was soft to the eyes, not like the offending rays of sun that seemed to pierce through your retinas mercilessly. Noticing the distress in his friends face, Jonghyun took his baseball cap off and shoved it in the older boy’s head, nodding right away as the new artifact of clothe complimented the other nicely.
“Come on, let’s grab some ice-cream.” Jinki decided that the human threat didn’t sound so frightening, so he resumed to following the bouncy blonde down the streets, carefully making sure not to bump into the upcoming people down the pavement.
Sneakers squeaked lowly over the concrete as both boys strolled down the populated avenue. Jinki stared in awe as teenagers, adults and elders walked down their streets, minding their own business. It was incredible the amount of guardian angels his eyes were able to caught; all of them trailing closely behind children that were almost clueless of the ethereal presence. Some children chose to believe at some point, in guardian angels, so it wasn’t much of a surprise if a young boy chose not to acknowledge the angel’s presence, or if a young girl preferred to ignore the guardian.
Jinki smiled, and even waved to some angels walking by, receiving shrieks from his blonde friend. “Relax Jjong, you’re the only one that can see me right now.” Jonghyun’s face flushed as the information reached his ears, instantly stepping a few meters away from the older boy to preserve his public sanity. They continued their trip to the nearest ice-cream parlor, enjoying the nice fall wind that blew their clothes in messy directions. Jinki instantly felt his protégé’s presence as they walked past a particular coffee shop.
“Hey! That’s Kibum over there! Should we stop by and say hello?” Jinki couldn’t respond at that moment, his eyes instantly glued in the younger boy sitting on a booth by the window. Key was laughing the afternoon away, tenderly looking at the boy across the table. His companion seemed like around his age, with honey colored hair, dark brown eyes and charming smile. They seemed to be having a good time, enjoying each other’s company as the unknown boy animatedly told a joke, making the gorgeous teenager press the back of his hand against his lips while trying to conceal his up roaring laughter.
“Jinki? Are you okay?” Jinki finally was able to breath, nodding reluctantly before diverting his eyes away from the happy scene. Jonghyun finally caught the hidden emotion in his best friend’s eyes, and looking at the couple laughing at the café, he took a hold of the perplexed guardian’s hand before dragging him out the sight.
“Let’s go grab that ice-cream.” Jinki closed his lips; the words dying inside him as he took one last look at the coffee shop. He couldn’t comprehend his sudden feelings anymore, not knowing why he couldn’t feel happy that his Kibum was okay. He managed to understand that the idea of Key being okay with someone that wasn’t him didn’t appeal to him, and feeling disgusted with his possessive thoughts, he let the young boy drag him all the way to the ice-cream parlor, pouting sadly as his happiness had miserably slipped away.
Jonghyun tried to bring the spirits of the young guardian up, taking him to the nearest park after the cold threat, but after hours of failed attempts, he decided there was only one person that could brighten the boy’s mood in seconds. Soon the sun started to set, signaling the ending of another day, and much to Jonghyun’s dismay, it was time to take Jinki back. Both boys walked silently over the desolated neighborhood, enjoying the nice crispy air.
“Jinki… do you know what love feels like?” The question threw the older boy off for a while, thinking of a good way to answer. He knew what love was, since he had deep loving feelings towards his Father, and towards his angelic family.
“I do. I love our Father very much, just as he loves each and every one of us.” The young blonde sighed, running a hand through his messy bleached hair as they could finally see the two story house coming to view.
“Yeah, I know God loves us and everything… mm, is that love that you hold for God the same as you hold for Key?” Jinki answered that question in a heartbeat, affirming to the younger boy that in fact he loved Key just as deep and tenderly. Jonghyun sighed resignedly, confusing Jinki as he seemed like he had expected something else. There was something else though, but it was so confusing in the older boy’s heart that he debated whether to share it with his close friend or not.
“My love for Key… seems more deep though… more sincere I guess. I’ve been his guardian since he was three years old. We’ve practically grown together, and… I don’t know, I feel something much stronger than for my family… or our father for that matter…. Like a different kind of love…” A mixture of emotions swirled inside Jinki’s head and heart, making him sigh into the air. He finally caught sight of the soft smile that stretched Jjong’s lips, and lifting a delicate eyebrow in the air, he questions mutedly the other boy’s smile.
“That’s love…” Jinki had already known that, but he sensed that there was some hidden secret in those words, and opening his mouth to voice his confusion out loud, he was paused by the front door loudly opening itself. Jinki realized they had been standing outside Key’s house for a long time now, and his eyes widened as he noticed the distressed look on his protégé’s face. The younger boy seemed to fly over the steps, pushing the small gate out of the way so his arms could freely wrapped around the older boy’s neck.
“Jinki!! God I was so worried!! I came home and you weren’t here, and I called you but there was no response and-” Words came out slurry after that, sobs and whimpers making it hard to formulate coherent words. Jinki stared with desperation at the his blonde friend, gasping as the other one only waved goodbye and made his way back home. Arms wrapped themselves awkwardly around the young trembling body, and pushing Key’s face from his chest, he finally caught a glimpse of the crying beauty in his arms.
“I-I’m sorry I worried you so much… I figure you wouldn’t mind my absence so muc-” A small fist collided with his chest, making the older boy gasp at the aggressiveness. Key’s concerned tears rolled down his puffed cheeks while his fists kept crashing into Jinki’s chest. Jinki knew it was better to let the younger boy take his stress away before trying to stop him. Soon enough, the poundings subdued, and Jinki could only stare as his protégé rested his forehead against his chest, burying his face in the softness that was Jinki.
“I felt like something was ripped from inside me…” Jinki finally hugged the sobbing boy in his arms, rocking them both softly while the chilly air brushed past them. Hours could’ve been spent like that, wrapped around in comfort, but it didn’t matter, cause deep down Key knew and Jinki knew that they both needed some kind of comfort.
A kiss was placed in the younger boy’s head without notice, making a gasp slip from a pair of pink soft lips. Jinki understood that day that he wanted to be the one to bring Key joy; he wanted to be the only one capable of making the younger one laugh. His heart fluttered as the thought of being the only one to embrace the other boy crawled its way into his heart. He could feel Key’s heart beating erratically between them, matching the disconcerting beating of his own heart. Feelings he still didn’t understand blossomed inside him, and as he took the shivering boy inside, deciding the night was too cool to be spent outside, he prayed silently for his father to forgive his sin… cause now he understood what kind of love he held for Key.
It was the kind of love that could only lead into an impossible future. That night Jinki prayed for Key, prayed for his growing feelings to go away, but as he stared at the peaceful face of the younger boy, bathed by the soft moonlight, he realized it was useless.
How could you fight a feeling that had possibly been living in your heart since the day you were born? Latently waiting for that someone to trigger it.
To trigger love.
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June, 2010
“K-Key, I… we can’t.”
The soft pleadings subdued, and finally the seventeen year old stopped his failed attempts to lure the older male into a kiss. Key knew very well that if he committed himself to the task, he would be able to crack Jinki’s protection and drag him into sin, but he couldn’t do that to the one person he was willing to be good for.
He still remembers clearly how nervous he had been on his seventeen birthday, his hands trembling and sweating as all the guests of his party had finally scurried out of his house, his mother and grandmother heading to sleep after one last happy birthday kiss. Key had been thinking of ways to declare his love to the older boy that happened to be his guardian sent from heaven, but every idea had seemed stupid and too girly. The young teenager asked his best friend for advice, knowing that the nineteen year old was fully aware of his undying affection. The cool idea of confessing on his birthday didn’t seem too bad for Key, so he planned the episode with eagerness.
Jinki had been oblivious to the hold charade, and once it was time to go to bed, he failed to notice the mess his boy was portraying. It had been awkward, it had been quick, and it had been in the kitchen. Jinki had to stop throwing the dirty plastic plates in the trashcan to catch the soft I love you that flew through the silent air. Rejection crawled into Kibum’s system fast, and after staring for a long time at his guardian’s amused expression, he took a b-line towards his room, not even bothering to be silent enough.
Key had felt so embarrassed that night, locking himself in the bathroom and refusing to come out despite Jinki’s soft pleadings. Rejection hurts Key concluded, finishing his third set of tissues when suddenly a loud crash jolted him upwards. In seconds, the water started running on his shower, the drawn curtains preventing him from seeing the intruder. He cursed in his mind the ability of his guardian to warp to any location desired, and battling with himself for seconds, he slowly made his way towards the occupied bathtub.
His surprised expression was slowly replaced by amusement, and finally by love as he stared silently at the older boy lying in the oddest angle on his bathtub mat. Jinki was soaked from head to toe, his eyes big and innocent as a soft blush tainted his cheeks. The I love you too had been just as silent as Key’s confession despite the noisy sound of the water washing over the white polished floor. Smiling softly over the distressed appearance of his guardian, the seventeen year old decided this was his chance, so kneeling over the slippery edge of the tub, he managed to kiss the surprised parted lips that awaited him at the bottom. We have to work on your landings was the only thing that was exchanged that night, besides secret kisses and whispered I love you’s.
They both knew a relationship between a guardian and his protégé was out of the question, clearly stepping over the dark boundaries of prohibited desire, but Jinki found himself slipping now and then, allowing some displays of affection. Key tried to make things easier for his supposedly boyfriend, but it was hard to contain and ignore the over boarding love that constricted his heart every day.
You’re like my apple of temptation Jinki had said one day, sighing as the younger boy wrapped his arms around him while laying soft kisses over his flushed face. Jinki knew very well that all heaven was aware of his intimate relationship with the boy he was supposed to be guarding, and he tried to ignore the sickening feeling of guilt that resided permanently in his stomach. His Father hadn’t said anything though, just smiled at the sight of his distressed child. Time will make everything easier He once said, kissing the forehead of his lost child as Jinki cried on his lap.
“I’m sick of having to contain myself…” Key huffed, detangling himself from the older boy as he made his way to the forgotten bed. Jinki’s eyes softened at the sight of the annoyed boy, slowly following him to bed. The younger boy could never say no to the other one, so he let himself be held as his guardian positioned himself behind him, wrapping his arms around that small waist while he buried his nose in that strawberry scented hair.
Key could feel the other one’s breathing, and that calmed his agitated heart. Soft rays of sun entered the quiet bedroom, making the wooden floor bleed with red light. A crispy breeze slipped inside the room, swirling around like cool waves as the two unmoving bodies on the bed matched their breathing and their heartbeats to a same symphony.
“I love you…” It was a soft silent confession, and Jinki could feel his heart rapidly increasing its palpitations. A soft kiss was placed over an exposed neck, making the younger male sigh in content. The peace was disturbed suddenly by the door swiftly being opened. Key acknowledged his mother’s presence right away, and in any other case, someone would have quickly pushed their lover away, but it was a miracle Key’s boyfriend was invisible to adults. He didn’t feel like explaining to his mother why a twenty-two year old had been living under their same roof for almost fifteen years now.
“Dinner’s ready Key. I have to go to work now, so you’ll just have to re-heat the lasagna.” The young teen nodded, waving in goodbye as the middle age woman blew a kiss in return. Key sometimes heard his mother cried after her long shifts at work, mourning over the death of his grandmother, his nana of a lifetime. Key, of course, would never reveal that secret to his mother, for he had cried himself to sleep several nights too, cradled in Jinki’s arms as the young guardian held him safely in his embrace.
The sound of footsteps could be heard from the living room, and soon the slamming of a front door pierced the calm silence. Key sighed, nestling his body in Jinki’s cocoon. Night slowly slipped in, and Key could feel it was gonna be one of those nights were he felt like remembering his deceased grandmother.
“Are you hungry?” Key shook his head softly, turning around to face the face of his celestial boyfriend. The last rays of light brushed over Jinki’s face, tainting his features with orange and red. Key thought it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen, and as Jinki’s beauty took his breath away, he couldn’t help but lean closer, fisting his hands over the older boy’s white shirt as his lips stole a kiss.
Soon, a soft luminescent light bathed both bodies in seconds, and Jinki’s form started vanishing like thick fog. Key hands fell limply over the bed, and as the bright light rapidly took the essence of Jinki away, the younger boy tried desperately to grasp what was left of the young guardian.
“Jinki!! What’s wrong??” The older boy stared at his protégé with fright, trying to wrap his arms around the young teen in failed attempts to root himself to his favorite spot; Key’s arms. The white light coming from the roof, from heaven, brightened considerably, and for seconds, it blinded Key’s eyes, taking his vision for a while. All he could see was white, and it frightened him, cause his hands were still trying to touch a body that was no longer there.
“J-jinki?” The light was gone, and just as fast as it had come, the evidence of the ethereal experience was gone. Key jumped out of bed, searching desperately for any signs of the young clumsy guardian. Every corner of the house was searched meticulously, and Key decided after several hours of frantic calling and searching, that Jinki would probably come back later.
The seventeen year old stayed up that night, his eyes blood shot from all the still crying he had done. At exactly four am in the morning, the screams began, and soon his frightened mother barged inside the room, gasping at the sight of his son chocking on thin air. For the first time, Mrs. Kim wrapped her arms around her teenage son, carrying him to the forgotten rocking chair in the corner, and cradling the screaming body in her tired limbs, she lulled him to sleep.
No words were spoken after that incident. Broken hearts are silent.
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September, 2010
Watching the fallen leaves became a lonely routine for Key. He felt like a lifeless leaf, no use for him to keep dangling over a dead tree. School was pointless at this horrible time of his life, cause the absence of half of his soul was too much for him to handle. His mother agreed for him to be home schooled, too tired and restless to even considerate it for debate.
Key felt like another lifeless day had passed by, not even remembering it was his eighteen birthday. Jonghyun had visited him that day, an awkward gift at hand as his concerned eyes scanned the corpse that was once Kim Kibum. The young boy didn’t need to be a genius to understand what was eating away Key’s life, and just like every other day, the worried best friend prayed for God to give Key’s life back. When Jonghyun told Key about his daily prayers, his surprise was great as a mocking laughter escaped the chapped lips of the younger one. God took him away Jjong, there’s no use to pray Jonghyun believed otherwise though, so he prayed silently for his friend, as well as his health and his soul.
The pain of losing the joy of his life was slowly consuming Key, to the point where food had to be forced down his throat. The nights where the worst though, waking up at some unglody hour screaming a name unknown to the world. His mother would always come barging into his room like a worn out routine, automatically extending her arms to cradle the asphyxiating boy in her arms while carrying him to the over used rocking chair in the corner. Like always, no words or questions were exchanged, Key gladly liking it that way.
After many days of begging his mother to forget the idea of a birthday party, the dreadful night came, and groaning at the sight of his tired mother holding a small birthday cake, Key couldn’t help but smile a little over the woman’s efforts.
“Make a wish.” Key bit his lips, tears prickling over his eyes as he eyed the single lighted candle over the deliciously looking cake. He took a seat on one of the empty chairs, pushing the sleeves of his overly large sweater to his elbows while his blurry eyes bored wholes over the cake.
“I… want those arms to hold me once again.” A small sob escaped the young boy’s lips, but he managed to take one shaky breath, blowing the small candle in a soft manner. The sound of clapping from his mother’s hands filled the silent atmosphere in the kitchen, and smiling in pain at his mother’s happy antics, Key cut the cake and served himself a small piece, despite the angry whines of his stomach.
Key found himself hours later in his room, staring tiredly at the ceiling as his mind fantasized like many times before. Jinki was probably happily flying in heaven by now, with his brand new pair of wings. Key sighed; imagining how divine the young angel most look with that big magical smile stretching over those lips he had had the luck to kiss. His eyes started closing, pupils dilating, and he would’ve fallen asleep if it wasn’t for the bright spur of light that blinded his vision in seconds. With white surrounding his vision, he groaned painfully as a heavy object fell on top of him, taking his breath away.
The light was gone in seconds, every color returning to his eyes one by one. Key realized he had closed his eyes the minute the offending light had hurt his cornea, and slowly opening his abused orbs, a shaky gasp escaped his lips as a familiar face greeted him from on top.
“I… still haven’t mastered the art of landing.” Key wanted to scream, to kick that older boy into oblivion, but he found himself sobbing, his hands trembling with the bashful need to embrace that unreal boy on top of him. Jinki noticed the messed up state of his love, and smiling shakily, he crashed his lips over the trembling ones that he had missed so much. Key couldn’t hold on any longer, so he let his arms sneak around the older boy’s neck, savoring the taste of heaven he had missed terribly.
“I-I… god I love you.” Key laughed, smashing his lips tighter over Jinki’s plush ones as his hands tried to grasp as much of him as possible. The younger boy was afraid that his former guardian would vanish like thin air once again, and Jinki could feel the fear in the other one’s actions.
“H-how, why… are you an angel now?” Jinki shook his head, rolling himself over so he was side to side with his lover. Key sighed, burying his face in that essence that the twenty-three year old seemed to exude with every breath.
“The day I… vanished, it was all our Father’s will. He said it was time for the archangels to decide of I was worthy of my wings, despite the fact that you still hadn’t turned eighteen. I was forbidden to see you, so I settled for watching you sleep, watching you walk… watching you breath. I waited for such a long time, dying every time a day passed that I couldn’t be by your side and then…”
Key took a deep breath, urging the older boy to continue.
“Your birthday came up. After hearing your wish, I couldn’t stay away any longer, so I was standing at the edge of heaven, battling with myself if I should break the rules and see you or abide to the laws imposed, when suddenly… I was pushed over the edge, falling on earth and… into your arms.”
“So… you didn’t win your wings in the end?” Jinki shrugged his shoulders slowly, not even trying to conceal his confusion. Key touched the older boy’s back, trying to prove himself that he was in fact, wingless.
“Key, I heard a loud crash coming from your roo-” Mrs. Kim walked inside the room, stopping dead in her tracks as she stared at the weird position her son was in. Key stared back, his arms still wrapped around Jinki while the other one had his arms around Key’s waist, holding him as close as possible.
“Key… there’s a boy holding you on your bed…”
Neither of the bodies on bed could utter a word, afraid that the moment would get spoiled somehow. Both boys realized that somehow Key’s mother could see and hear Jinki, and it finally dawned on them that Jinki was… human. Shrieks of joy filled the tensed room, and Mrs. Kim stood clueless as her son rolled on bed in the arms of a stranger. Key could care less about his little audience as he kissed his boyfriend lips away, marveling over the simplicity of the situation.
In the end Jinki’s fate had been decided that night, archangels finally coming to the conclusion that Jinki was far too human to be able to get his wings. Angels are supposed to be happy ethereal beings, rejoicing in the idea of living in heaven, but the holy Father understood that his perfect child had already been living in heaven all along, and that Key’s arms was the place where he truly felt like an angel. Heaven on earth existed, love being the bridge between them, and as Jinki protected the young boy while growing up, he was unknowingly being taught the meaning of love.
A heavy cough interrupted the happy celebration, and both boys found themselves blushing as the amused woman waited for an explanation. Key smiled, wrapping his arms around Jinki while he placed one last kiss on his plush lips, making the older boy sigh contently.
“Mom, this is Jinki. My guardian angel.”
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->Originally posted ignyte_passion
->Wanna see the original entry? click here
Author: mumuja
Pairing: OnKey
Genre: Romance, a small hint of Angst.
Rating: pg
Summary: You don't need an angel to be your guardian. Love can be the only protection you may need.
Disclaimer: Only own plot
A/N: THE LACK OF ONKEY IS KILLING MEE!! D: seriously!! too much... mmm of other OTPs traveling around lj!! ugh. sometimes ninja! OnKey is too FREAKING NINJAA!! lol anyways, this was written on the spur of the moment, so pls forgive the failure!! <.< This is kind of different from anything i've ever written. You know i always write in Key's POV or Jinki's right? well, this is written in a third person POV, so it was mmm interesting! not sure i'm liking it though LOL xD, anyways, enjoy!! and do tell me what you think :D this was inspired by the song Far Away by Nickleback, you can hear it if you want!! and SORRY FOR THE LACK OF SPOTS!! >< it's 12:40 am and i'm tired *pouts* HOPE YOU LIKE IT!! :D ppl let's keep the ONKEY love aliveeeeee!
Wingless Angels
I don’t know if your wings are real,
But I’ve never seen you without them,
…and I follow you everyday…
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November, 1994
Kibum never believed in angels. His small three year old mind couldn’t comprehend how enticing creatures could possibly live in that heavenly spot above earth. It gave him quite the scare when he saw the tall feathery creature sitting on his bed one day, with his big majestic wings flapping in the still air as the owner of said feathers smiled warmly at him.
“Hello Kibum. How was your first day at Kindergarden?”
The normal reaction was to scream and run, and that thought crossed Kibum’s mind like a light bold in the sky, but there was something pure and alluring in that mystical inhuman being sitting ever so amiably on his bed. Surely there was no one at home to save him if he planned to run away; mommy killing herself at her second shift of the day, her father deeply buried 10 feet underground, and her nanny busily cooking away in the kitchen.
“H-hello… Mr. Angel.” The beautiful angel chuckled at the innocence exuding from the cute three year old, and Kibum found oddly fascinating how the handsome man sitting on his bed seemed to light up the small room with star imprints all over the walls. The window reflected the blazing sunset over the mountains, and soon the wooded floor seemed to bleed in a mixture of red and sun.
Kibum soon realized there was nothing to be afraid of, and taking one hesitant step forward, he quietly made his way towards the awaiting man at his bed, lifting his little hands up in a gesture that clearly established he was still a child.
“Come here.” In his small ears, Kibum thought that voice sounded like honey, and as he let himself be lifted and placed on the occupied bed, he resumed finally that he liked that sweet voice. It was just like his mommy’s voice, but much sweeter and peaceful. With big doo like eyes, he stared at the magical creature sitting just within reach; his hands itching to touch those soft feathers that seemed to brush his back with every flap.
“Mr. Angel, are you here to take me away?” The said man smiled tenderly, lifting his milky white hand to path his head in a fatherly way.
“No Kibum, I’m here to give you a special present.” Like an early Christmas, Kibum’s eyes glimmered with strained excitement, and soon he found himself jumping up and down on the bed. Without thinking, his hands were grasping the white tunic of the said angel, tugging them with every bounce of his little body.
“A gift? For me? Is it that art supply kit I begged my mommy to buy me last week?? I-I’ve been a good boy!” Kibum nodded at his words, eyeing the angelic robes for signs of a shiny wrapped box. The angel laughed heartedly at Kibum’s sweet manners, and as softly as possible he pinched his rosy cheeks.
“It’s not a material gift Kibum, it’s a spiritual gift.” Those were words a three year old could not comprehend very well, and he was about to ask the meaning of them when his nanny’s voice pierced the peaceful silence.
“Key! Dinner’s ready! Go wash up!” A groan escaped the boy’s lips, feeling disappointment wash over him as he hated to wait for presents, but he figured he couldn’t afford being naughty right now, at least not in the presence of an angel, so taking one last look at the heavenly man, muttering a soft be right back, he exited his room, half running to the kitchen, only to go back into the bathroom to wash up.
Dinner was quite hurried, and as Kibum shoved all the vegetables at a speed that put vegetarians in shame, he quickly thanked his nanny for dinner, half skipping towards the sink to drop his dirty plate with much effort.
“Why are you so happy about?” The small boy blinked innocently to the middle aged woman, before a big smile stretched his pink lips in a manner that looked almost painful for the old woman.
“I’m getting an early Christmas nanny!” The gloating woman only laughed softly at the cute boy’s antics, quickly nodding as she watched the eager boy race to his room. It amused her the energy that child could have, but again, being an only child still had its advantages, and having energy reserved in his bones 24/7 was one of them.
Key tried not to look too eager as he bounced through the door, but disappointment was clear on his face as he met the sight of his empty cold room. There was no sign of the angel man, or any other heavenly creature for that matter, so as sadness settled in his heart, Key tried not to look too forlorn as he slowly made his way to the duck themed bathroom to ready himself for bed. The loud crash that followed the silence minutes later had the three year old running back in, with one arm inside the pink one piece pijama, and the other one still bare. Tooth brush dangled dangerously over a wide open mouth while eyes as big as saucer plates eyed the small boy sprawled in some awkward angle across his bed.
“Key? I heard a loud noise a few minutes ago, like something fell from the roof…” The elderly nanny walked inside the room, and after a few minutes of awkward staring at the small messy bed, her eyes settled on the petrified boy by the bathroom door. She resumed it must’ve been the wind or something, and with one last look, she smiled and left the room.
At that precise moment, Kibum knew he was the only one that could see the groaning boy on his bed, so as slowly as possible, he approached the unmoving body, afraid to scare the mysterious being that just crashed into his bed minutes ago.
“H-hello?” The tooth brush finally met the floor, splattering some of the minty white paste on the floor, but the small three year old decided this was far more interesting than protecting his teeth from cavities. The groaning stopped a few minutes later, and after a couple of awkward rolling on the messed sheets, the mysterious boy scrambled on his feet, amusing Key greatly as he met the floor in the most painful way ever. He doesn’t seem scary Kibum concluded, and kneeling softly beside the injured boy on the floor, he resumed to poking his head with the forgotten tooth brush.
“H-Hi! You’re Kibum righ?” Key had never seen a boy so cute in his short life, and he stood frozen in the ground as the strange boy lifted himself up into a sitting position. He was probably six or seven years old, with big brown eyes, messy chocolate hair, puffy cheeks and equally puffy lips. Kibum nodded after minutes of staring, taking gladly the hand the older boy offered as he lifted both up from the floor.
“I’m Jinki! And, even though I’m still not an angel, I’m here to be your guardian.” The yourger boy stood in awe as the boy named Jinki arranged his disheveled pijamas, caringly buttoning the pink shirt after clothing his bare arm. As a ritual, Key lifted his arms up, not uttering a word as Jinki picked him up and placed him on the bed. Many thoughts, mostly questions, circled the little boy’s mind, but sleep was heavily sedating his senses. With half lidded eyes, the young toddler observed how the older boy seated himself beside him, softly patting his head in a tender manner.
“How come… you are not an angel but you’re gonna keep me safe…” Jinki chuckled, his administrations never wavering as he quietly pulled the covers over the relaxed body lying on the bed.
“Well, my Father, or our Father for that matter, told me that since I wasn’t born as a full angel, I would have to gain my wings in a special way, and well… I kinda feel bad to see the other angels floating happily in their pure white wings, so I decided I would become a guardian! Strangely, they didn’t mind me only being seven…but hey! I’m the youngest guardian in heaven right now!” Soon Jinki realized that somewhere in his speech he lost Kibum, and with one last caress, he climbed off the bed, making his way slowly towards the small rocking chair in the corner.
An hour passed, and as he was slowly drifting off to some nice deep slumber, the door slowly creaked open, reviling the beautiful face of a tired young woman. Jinki knew right away that that woman was Key’s mother, since he had been spying over the three year old for a week now. The young mother made her way softly into the room, trying hard to mute any noise caused by her high heels. Jinki hugged a big doggy plush that belonged to the younger boy as he stared at the way Mrs. Kim kissed Key goodnight.
“Hope you had a nice day at Kindergarten baby.” Jinki sighed, smiling softly as the young woman exited the room at last. The older boy never knew what it was like to have a mom, only knowing his Father from as long as he has memory. It must be nice He thinks to himself, his eyes slowly closing as he drifts to sleep in the rocking chair, dreaming of the joy it would be of having a mother.
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June, 1998
“I’m not lying!! I’m telling you! My best friend is a guardian angel!! Well, not an angel, since he still haven’t gotten his wings yet… but the point is that he is REAL!”
Key knew it was gonna be hard to convince someone as thick headed as Kim Jonghyun to believe in angels, but as doubt dangled from his almond shaped eyes, the younger boy knew it was gonna be almost impossible. Over the last four years Key has been secretly living with his guardian, the idea of confessing his secret to his earthly friend never crossed his mind, at least not until yesterday, while he was playing video games with his heavenly buddy. A sickening feeling settled in his very stomach as his nanny entered the room, looking puzzled as she saw her boy playing video games with a spare controller next to him.
“I hope you’re not expecting me to play with you…”
That had been the last straw for Kibum, and after school, he waited for his friend since Kindergarten, Jonghyun, to finish his soccer practice with the excuse of finally revealing him the greatest secret in the history of secrets.
“Key… you really don’t expect me to believe that right?” Of course, Key was had never been someone to take no for an answer, so after many failed attempts, the two boys came to an agreement.
“Meet me at my house at 3 o’ clock. I will introduce you to Jinki.” They sealed the deal with a salivated handshake, and after one last look at the jogging back of the blonde boy, Key realized what he had dragged himself into. In seconds, his feet were sprinting against the heated asphalt, backpack flying in the summer breeze as he raced to the third house on the left over Cherry Plump Avenue. His mother arrived late from work every day, approximately at 11 pm; an hour when it was very hard for him to wait up for her, or even feel her presence sneaking up in her room to place the goodnight kiss that never failed to miss.
“Nana!!” Key met silence as he hastily entered the desolated two story house. He smiled, remembering that on Tuesdays, his nanny reunited herself with her elderly friends until 5 pm sharp. Not caring to leave almost half of his belongings by the porch, the young boy quickly threw his school vest on the wooden floor; his neck tie and back pack following after.
“Jinki!! We have a serious problem!” Seconds later a loud crash was heard coming from Key’s room, followed closely by a series of groans and huffs. The seven year old didn’t need to peak his head inside the room to see the disastrous landing.
“I really need to work on my landings.” Key sighed, entering his room while groaning at the sight his eyes met. Jinki was half sprawled across the floor; legs awkwardly lifted by the end of the bed, and one arm was strangely bent over his own weight, while the other was being squashed by his head. Sometimes Key found himself wondering why God gave him this guardian, instead of a big strong almost ninja like guardian like he had seen in movies before. But again, Jinki was not only his guardian, but his best friend, so he couldn’t really complain.
“My friend Jjong is coming in about…an hour to check if you are real.” The eyes of the eleven year old on the floor widened considerately at the news pouring from the younger one’s lips, and as fast as a hummingbird, he was detangling himself from his mysterious angles, desperate to run or hide from the promise his best friend had just made.
“K-Key!! Why- How- WHAT!?” Key rolled his eyes, grabbing the shoulders of his erratic friend to shake him a couple of times out of his stupor. The young guardian blinked rapidly with each shaking, and after a couple of shakes and slaps, he was back to normal.
“Look, I want people to know I’m not crazy for having an invisible best friend okay? So you better appear as real in front of Jjong as you look to me!” The older boy nodded reluctantly, doubt clear in his eyes as he stared at the erratic seven year old running around the room.
“So uhh, what would be a good way for you to appear in front of Jjong without scarring him for the rest of his life…”
“I guess that performing one of my smooth landings is out of the question.” Key stopped dead in his tracks, staring intently at the older boy sitting on his bed. In seconds, he was falling on his butt with laughter hurting his stomach. Jinki joined him soon afterwards, and after minutes of unstoppable laughter and giggles, they resumed to preparing Jinki’s grand appearance.
In no time, the clock stroke 3 with its unceremoniously beeping, and both boys stood rooted to the ground, feeling the sickening sensation of reality banging on their doors. Key scanned his best friend with weary eyes, feeling something was off with the older boy. Suddenly, his eyes discovered at small but important detail that gave Jinki an ethereal look. If he wanted Jjong to believe Jinki was as normal as him, he had to look as normal as possible too.
“Your clothes… they look too…celestial.” Jinki pouted, eyeing his shiny white shirt, not understanding what was wrong with it. Key snorted, pushing the older boy to his bathroom while he fetched some normal clothes for him to wear.
Soon, a dreadful ring pierced the pregnant silence, and with a squeak from Jinki and a growl from Key, the younger boy skipped through the hallway and into the porch, kicking his belongings under his mother’s old tea table, before opening the front door wide open.
“Okay here I am.” The blonde boy was shifting nervously on the front steps, his baseball cap blocking his eyes as his fingers played with the hem of his navy blue t-shirt. Key grabbed one of the boy’s hands, earning a squeal in response as he dragged the stubborn nine year old inside. Key eyed the scrawny legs of his friend pointing out of the black shorts he was sporting, and debating whether they were strong enough to endure a shock, the thought was quickly forgotten as a loud noise of something dropping on the floor wavered through the air.
“Uhh wow!! It’s true then! No need to see anything else! See you later Key.” The younger boy was having none of that though, so as hard as his seven year old strength could push, he dragged the trembling body inside his room, making sure to lock the door in a safety precaution.
“Stay here.” The trembling 9 year old nodded, jumping every time a sound came from the closed bathroom. Key quickly crossed the room, entering the bathroom at once and gasping as he met… nothing. The small boy looked all over the place, even under the counter top where not even a fat rat could fit, but there were no signs of his young guardian. Exiting the bathroom with a disappointed look, he resumed to search under his bed, table, all over his closet and finally his house, hoping to find any signs of the missing boy.
“I knew you were bluffing.” Key could feel tears in his eyes as the idea of being seen like a liar started forging in his tiny mind. He left the older boy in his room as he gave one last attempt to search for his best friend in the kitchen. Fear started settling in his heart as he started to imagine all possible things that could’ve happened to the older boy in his small absence. Maybe he was discharged of being his guardian, or even forbidden to ever see him again. Sinking on the cold floor of the deserted kitchen, he cried.
“Oww!! OH MY GOD!” Key quickly retracted his hands from his tear soaked face, and as fast as lightening, he managed to make it to his room, almost laughing at the scene in front of him. Jonghyun had the most frightened look on his face, staring in horror at the strange boy that had landed on top of him.
“H-he came from the roof!!” Key chortled, forgetting for a moment his school friend as he flung his arms around the young guardian. Jinki ignored the pain on his back as his arms circled the trembling body closer, not daring to speak a word as Key cried in relief against his chest. After a few seconds of silence, Jonghyun started whining and trashing, complaining about the pain of having two bodies on top of him.
That day, Jonghyun believed in angels too, and Key learnt that he couldn’t live without his guardian, feeling almost terrified with the idea of the older boy leaving him. It was in that exact same moment where Key stared lovingly at the way Jinki chased a horrified Jonghyun all over his locked up room, that he understood just how deep Jinki had crawled under his skin. This was beyond friendship, but Key was still too young to understand the vast meaning of two consonants and two syllables pushed together, spelling love.
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October, 2005
“You wanna watch a movie?” Key tried to ignore the way his stomach fluttered and squirmed at the sight of that gorgeous smile he knew too well. His guardian had been with him for as long as he remembers, and he knew very well by now that the day he gains his wings would be the day part of his soul dies.
“I would love to.” Jinki ventured to the kitchen while the 14 year old popped some random movie on the already worn out DVD player. Okay I can pretty much shoot myself after this The young teenager stared in disbelief at the angst movie that started rolling on the screen. A few minutes later, Jinki appeared with freshly cooked popcorn, and two litters of soda. The lights were already dimmed, and the younger boy was nicely settled under the covers. The young guardian finally took a look at the movie choice, but decided to stay quiet while he climbed the occupied bed.
“I hope you know we’re lacking tissues right now.” Key snorted, punching lightly the arm of his guardian as he submerged his hand in the popcorn bucket while his mind tried to follow the dramatic plot. Mrs. Kim was out on a business trip, and Key’s nana was visiting some relatives in her hometown, so the 14 year old was practically alone in the big house, but despite all that, he knew he couldn’t be safer. Throughout the movie, the younger boy found himself related to the main character, even feeling his own pain as he lost his beloved one during the story. Would I be like that if I ever lost Jinki? Key wondered, stealing quick glances at the handsome buy shoving popcorns down his throat.
“How come adults can’t see you?” Jinki almost choked on his mouthful of popcorns, and taking one look at the curious fourteen year old cuddle up under the covers, he diverted his eyes back to the almost forgotten movie. Jinki asked his Father the same thing when he tripped in front of Mrs. Kim and performed one of his unceremoniously landings in front of Key’s nanny.
“I think it has to do with the innocence? Somehow, when someone turns eighteen they just… lose their innocence and their ability to see ummm things. In adulthood, only people who are sensitiv-” A small puff of air escaped Jinki’s lips as a bundle wrapped up in bed sheets collided with him on full force. Soon the young guardian realized his protégé was trembling and sobbing.
“Key? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want to stop seeing you when I turn eighteen.” Chocolate brown eyes softened at the sight of weakness, and as tender as possible, Jinki lifted the face of the sobbing boy in his arms. Words were no needed as hands cleaned the tears away, and before anyone could comment, lips were pressed in the fastest and most human way possible. It was a kiss of comfort, of belonging, but Key knew in his heart that kiss meant the answer to his feelings.
“I promise I won’t be leaving.” The eighteen year old embraced the trembling boy tighter, afraid that reality would crash his dreams. Jinki knew that once Key turned eighteen, he was gonna win his wings and stop aging all together. It was how thing were supposed to be, Key would be a grown up by then, not needing protection anymore, and Jinki would be happy in his angel position in heaven, but… the young guardian couldn’t comprehend yet why he felt so alone and lost with the idea of losing the only human he has ever known… or loved for the matter.
“Jinki I…I don’t want you to go..” Silence won the battle after that, and it took one look for Jinki to let a soft chuckle out. Key was deeply asleep in his arms, looking as beautiful as ever while the lights from the forgotten movie flickered blurry shapes all over his face, bathing him in a bluish halo.
Jinki hugged the sleeping body closer to his chest, smiling despite his tears as he resumed to watching the movie with heaviness in his heart. He wondered why his Father had given him such duty, if temptation was something he was having trouble fighting with.
I never give my children a cross too big for them to carry; there’s a size for everyone.
Jinki took one look at the sleeping angel in his arms, sighing softly at the small but deceiving cross in his arms. He wondered that night if he was gonna be able to fulfill his duty as a guardian; sure, he has been protecting Key ever since the day he was three, but at the same time, was he gonna be able to protect him from the pain once his eighteen birthday comes up? He wouldn’t be here for Key’s pain to be ebbed away, and once the young boy realizes he lied that night when he promised he was never going to leave, well… Jinki knew that at that moment, he would surely die a little.
“But for tonight… let me hold you…” He cried that night. Cried for him, cried for Key, and cried for what was slowly forming in his heart, knowing perfectly way that he was softly gonna die with the impossibility of such feeling to live.
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September, 2007
“Have you tried coming out of the house?” The young guardian tilted his head as curiosity slipped in his system. His long term friend, Kim Jonghyun, was sprawled across his protégé’s bed; the pure image of laziness. Jinki had wondered many times before if his earthly boundaries could be crossed, but since Kibum was always home, there really was no point in wondering was there?
The older boy shook his head, plopping in the old rocking chair almost abandoned in the corner. Kibum had said he was meeting a friend from school to finish a science project, and Jinki could feel a bad sensation sickening his insides. He knew there was no harm in Key meeting a friend after school, in fact, it was kind of imperative since the clumsy guardian still had difficulties controlling to which people he wanted to manifest himself and who not. Jonghyun decided to stop by, not wanting to leave one of his best friends alone and gloomy. The young blond boy had accepted the existence of Kibum’s heavenly young guardian years ago, having forgiven the older boy for landing over his head ever so disastrously when he was nine years old.
“Come on! Let’s go do some human bonding.” Jinki wanted to refuse, but deep down he knew he was curious to learn the human culture just like Jonghyun was eager to teach the teenage everyday life. Jinki stood up, dusting his shiny white clothes, oblivious to the disapproving look the young student was throwing at his way. A small sound of disapproval escaped from the guardians look as he was pulled roughly to the bathroom.
“Stay here, I’m fetching you some normal clothes, cause dude… you shine too much.”
After many failed attempts to make the inhuman creature real enough, the frustrated blond finally manage to take some of the glimmering sparkles away. They settled for a black long sleeved shirt, a pair of dark blue jeans and some black slip-ons. With one approving glance at the body mirror, both boys ventured themselves out of the desolated house and into life.
Jinki had to squint his eyes to stop the sun from blinding his soft pupils. Sure, heaven was all shiny and sparkly, but the light up there was soft to the eyes, not like the offending rays of sun that seemed to pierce through your retinas mercilessly. Noticing the distress in his friends face, Jonghyun took his baseball cap off and shoved it in the older boy’s head, nodding right away as the new artifact of clothe complimented the other nicely.
“Come on, let’s grab some ice-cream.” Jinki decided that the human threat didn’t sound so frightening, so he resumed to following the bouncy blonde down the streets, carefully making sure not to bump into the upcoming people down the pavement.
Sneakers squeaked lowly over the concrete as both boys strolled down the populated avenue. Jinki stared in awe as teenagers, adults and elders walked down their streets, minding their own business. It was incredible the amount of guardian angels his eyes were able to caught; all of them trailing closely behind children that were almost clueless of the ethereal presence. Some children chose to believe at some point, in guardian angels, so it wasn’t much of a surprise if a young boy chose not to acknowledge the angel’s presence, or if a young girl preferred to ignore the guardian.
Jinki smiled, and even waved to some angels walking by, receiving shrieks from his blonde friend. “Relax Jjong, you’re the only one that can see me right now.” Jonghyun’s face flushed as the information reached his ears, instantly stepping a few meters away from the older boy to preserve his public sanity. They continued their trip to the nearest ice-cream parlor, enjoying the nice fall wind that blew their clothes in messy directions. Jinki instantly felt his protégé’s presence as they walked past a particular coffee shop.
“Hey! That’s Kibum over there! Should we stop by and say hello?” Jinki couldn’t respond at that moment, his eyes instantly glued in the younger boy sitting on a booth by the window. Key was laughing the afternoon away, tenderly looking at the boy across the table. His companion seemed like around his age, with honey colored hair, dark brown eyes and charming smile. They seemed to be having a good time, enjoying each other’s company as the unknown boy animatedly told a joke, making the gorgeous teenager press the back of his hand against his lips while trying to conceal his up roaring laughter.
“Jinki? Are you okay?” Jinki finally was able to breath, nodding reluctantly before diverting his eyes away from the happy scene. Jonghyun finally caught the hidden emotion in his best friend’s eyes, and looking at the couple laughing at the café, he took a hold of the perplexed guardian’s hand before dragging him out the sight.
“Let’s go grab that ice-cream.” Jinki closed his lips; the words dying inside him as he took one last look at the coffee shop. He couldn’t comprehend his sudden feelings anymore, not knowing why he couldn’t feel happy that his Kibum was okay. He managed to understand that the idea of Key being okay with someone that wasn’t him didn’t appeal to him, and feeling disgusted with his possessive thoughts, he let the young boy drag him all the way to the ice-cream parlor, pouting sadly as his happiness had miserably slipped away.
Jonghyun tried to bring the spirits of the young guardian up, taking him to the nearest park after the cold threat, but after hours of failed attempts, he decided there was only one person that could brighten the boy’s mood in seconds. Soon the sun started to set, signaling the ending of another day, and much to Jonghyun’s dismay, it was time to take Jinki back. Both boys walked silently over the desolated neighborhood, enjoying the nice crispy air.
“Jinki… do you know what love feels like?” The question threw the older boy off for a while, thinking of a good way to answer. He knew what love was, since he had deep loving feelings towards his Father, and towards his angelic family.
“I do. I love our Father very much, just as he loves each and every one of us.” The young blonde sighed, running a hand through his messy bleached hair as they could finally see the two story house coming to view.
“Yeah, I know God loves us and everything… mm, is that love that you hold for God the same as you hold for Key?” Jinki answered that question in a heartbeat, affirming to the younger boy that in fact he loved Key just as deep and tenderly. Jonghyun sighed resignedly, confusing Jinki as he seemed like he had expected something else. There was something else though, but it was so confusing in the older boy’s heart that he debated whether to share it with his close friend or not.
“My love for Key… seems more deep though… more sincere I guess. I’ve been his guardian since he was three years old. We’ve practically grown together, and… I don’t know, I feel something much stronger than for my family… or our father for that matter…. Like a different kind of love…” A mixture of emotions swirled inside Jinki’s head and heart, making him sigh into the air. He finally caught sight of the soft smile that stretched Jjong’s lips, and lifting a delicate eyebrow in the air, he questions mutedly the other boy’s smile.
“That’s love…” Jinki had already known that, but he sensed that there was some hidden secret in those words, and opening his mouth to voice his confusion out loud, he was paused by the front door loudly opening itself. Jinki realized they had been standing outside Key’s house for a long time now, and his eyes widened as he noticed the distressed look on his protégé’s face. The younger boy seemed to fly over the steps, pushing the small gate out of the way so his arms could freely wrapped around the older boy’s neck.
“Jinki!! God I was so worried!! I came home and you weren’t here, and I called you but there was no response and-” Words came out slurry after that, sobs and whimpers making it hard to formulate coherent words. Jinki stared with desperation at the his blonde friend, gasping as the other one only waved goodbye and made his way back home. Arms wrapped themselves awkwardly around the young trembling body, and pushing Key’s face from his chest, he finally caught a glimpse of the crying beauty in his arms.
“I-I’m sorry I worried you so much… I figure you wouldn’t mind my absence so muc-” A small fist collided with his chest, making the older boy gasp at the aggressiveness. Key’s concerned tears rolled down his puffed cheeks while his fists kept crashing into Jinki’s chest. Jinki knew it was better to let the younger boy take his stress away before trying to stop him. Soon enough, the poundings subdued, and Jinki could only stare as his protégé rested his forehead against his chest, burying his face in the softness that was Jinki.
“I felt like something was ripped from inside me…” Jinki finally hugged the sobbing boy in his arms, rocking them both softly while the chilly air brushed past them. Hours could’ve been spent like that, wrapped around in comfort, but it didn’t matter, cause deep down Key knew and Jinki knew that they both needed some kind of comfort.
A kiss was placed in the younger boy’s head without notice, making a gasp slip from a pair of pink soft lips. Jinki understood that day that he wanted to be the one to bring Key joy; he wanted to be the only one capable of making the younger one laugh. His heart fluttered as the thought of being the only one to embrace the other boy crawled its way into his heart. He could feel Key’s heart beating erratically between them, matching the disconcerting beating of his own heart. Feelings he still didn’t understand blossomed inside him, and as he took the shivering boy inside, deciding the night was too cool to be spent outside, he prayed silently for his father to forgive his sin… cause now he understood what kind of love he held for Key.
It was the kind of love that could only lead into an impossible future. That night Jinki prayed for Key, prayed for his growing feelings to go away, but as he stared at the peaceful face of the younger boy, bathed by the soft moonlight, he realized it was useless.
How could you fight a feeling that had possibly been living in your heart since the day you were born? Latently waiting for that someone to trigger it.
To trigger love.
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June, 2010
“K-Key, I… we can’t.”
The soft pleadings subdued, and finally the seventeen year old stopped his failed attempts to lure the older male into a kiss. Key knew very well that if he committed himself to the task, he would be able to crack Jinki’s protection and drag him into sin, but he couldn’t do that to the one person he was willing to be good for.
He still remembers clearly how nervous he had been on his seventeen birthday, his hands trembling and sweating as all the guests of his party had finally scurried out of his house, his mother and grandmother heading to sleep after one last happy birthday kiss. Key had been thinking of ways to declare his love to the older boy that happened to be his guardian sent from heaven, but every idea had seemed stupid and too girly. The young teenager asked his best friend for advice, knowing that the nineteen year old was fully aware of his undying affection. The cool idea of confessing on his birthday didn’t seem too bad for Key, so he planned the episode with eagerness.
Jinki had been oblivious to the hold charade, and once it was time to go to bed, he failed to notice the mess his boy was portraying. It had been awkward, it had been quick, and it had been in the kitchen. Jinki had to stop throwing the dirty plastic plates in the trashcan to catch the soft I love you that flew through the silent air. Rejection crawled into Kibum’s system fast, and after staring for a long time at his guardian’s amused expression, he took a b-line towards his room, not even bothering to be silent enough.
Key had felt so embarrassed that night, locking himself in the bathroom and refusing to come out despite Jinki’s soft pleadings. Rejection hurts Key concluded, finishing his third set of tissues when suddenly a loud crash jolted him upwards. In seconds, the water started running on his shower, the drawn curtains preventing him from seeing the intruder. He cursed in his mind the ability of his guardian to warp to any location desired, and battling with himself for seconds, he slowly made his way towards the occupied bathtub.
His surprised expression was slowly replaced by amusement, and finally by love as he stared silently at the older boy lying in the oddest angle on his bathtub mat. Jinki was soaked from head to toe, his eyes big and innocent as a soft blush tainted his cheeks. The I love you too had been just as silent as Key’s confession despite the noisy sound of the water washing over the white polished floor. Smiling softly over the distressed appearance of his guardian, the seventeen year old decided this was his chance, so kneeling over the slippery edge of the tub, he managed to kiss the surprised parted lips that awaited him at the bottom. We have to work on your landings was the only thing that was exchanged that night, besides secret kisses and whispered I love you’s.
They both knew a relationship between a guardian and his protégé was out of the question, clearly stepping over the dark boundaries of prohibited desire, but Jinki found himself slipping now and then, allowing some displays of affection. Key tried to make things easier for his supposedly boyfriend, but it was hard to contain and ignore the over boarding love that constricted his heart every day.
You’re like my apple of temptation Jinki had said one day, sighing as the younger boy wrapped his arms around him while laying soft kisses over his flushed face. Jinki knew very well that all heaven was aware of his intimate relationship with the boy he was supposed to be guarding, and he tried to ignore the sickening feeling of guilt that resided permanently in his stomach. His Father hadn’t said anything though, just smiled at the sight of his distressed child. Time will make everything easier He once said, kissing the forehead of his lost child as Jinki cried on his lap.
“I’m sick of having to contain myself…” Key huffed, detangling himself from the older boy as he made his way to the forgotten bed. Jinki’s eyes softened at the sight of the annoyed boy, slowly following him to bed. The younger boy could never say no to the other one, so he let himself be held as his guardian positioned himself behind him, wrapping his arms around that small waist while he buried his nose in that strawberry scented hair.
Key could feel the other one’s breathing, and that calmed his agitated heart. Soft rays of sun entered the quiet bedroom, making the wooden floor bleed with red light. A crispy breeze slipped inside the room, swirling around like cool waves as the two unmoving bodies on the bed matched their breathing and their heartbeats to a same symphony.
“I love you…” It was a soft silent confession, and Jinki could feel his heart rapidly increasing its palpitations. A soft kiss was placed over an exposed neck, making the younger male sigh in content. The peace was disturbed suddenly by the door swiftly being opened. Key acknowledged his mother’s presence right away, and in any other case, someone would have quickly pushed their lover away, but it was a miracle Key’s boyfriend was invisible to adults. He didn’t feel like explaining to his mother why a twenty-two year old had been living under their same roof for almost fifteen years now.
“Dinner’s ready Key. I have to go to work now, so you’ll just have to re-heat the lasagna.” The young teen nodded, waving in goodbye as the middle age woman blew a kiss in return. Key sometimes heard his mother cried after her long shifts at work, mourning over the death of his grandmother, his nana of a lifetime. Key, of course, would never reveal that secret to his mother, for he had cried himself to sleep several nights too, cradled in Jinki’s arms as the young guardian held him safely in his embrace.
The sound of footsteps could be heard from the living room, and soon the slamming of a front door pierced the calm silence. Key sighed, nestling his body in Jinki’s cocoon. Night slowly slipped in, and Key could feel it was gonna be one of those nights were he felt like remembering his deceased grandmother.
“Are you hungry?” Key shook his head softly, turning around to face the face of his celestial boyfriend. The last rays of light brushed over Jinki’s face, tainting his features with orange and red. Key thought it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen, and as Jinki’s beauty took his breath away, he couldn’t help but lean closer, fisting his hands over the older boy’s white shirt as his lips stole a kiss.
Soon, a soft luminescent light bathed both bodies in seconds, and Jinki’s form started vanishing like thick fog. Key hands fell limply over the bed, and as the bright light rapidly took the essence of Jinki away, the younger boy tried desperately to grasp what was left of the young guardian.
“Jinki!! What’s wrong??” The older boy stared at his protégé with fright, trying to wrap his arms around the young teen in failed attempts to root himself to his favorite spot; Key’s arms. The white light coming from the roof, from heaven, brightened considerably, and for seconds, it blinded Key’s eyes, taking his vision for a while. All he could see was white, and it frightened him, cause his hands were still trying to touch a body that was no longer there.
“J-jinki?” The light was gone, and just as fast as it had come, the evidence of the ethereal experience was gone. Key jumped out of bed, searching desperately for any signs of the young clumsy guardian. Every corner of the house was searched meticulously, and Key decided after several hours of frantic calling and searching, that Jinki would probably come back later.
The seventeen year old stayed up that night, his eyes blood shot from all the still crying he had done. At exactly four am in the morning, the screams began, and soon his frightened mother barged inside the room, gasping at the sight of his son chocking on thin air. For the first time, Mrs. Kim wrapped her arms around her teenage son, carrying him to the forgotten rocking chair in the corner, and cradling the screaming body in her tired limbs, she lulled him to sleep.
No words were spoken after that incident. Broken hearts are silent.
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September, 2010
Watching the fallen leaves became a lonely routine for Key. He felt like a lifeless leaf, no use for him to keep dangling over a dead tree. School was pointless at this horrible time of his life, cause the absence of half of his soul was too much for him to handle. His mother agreed for him to be home schooled, too tired and restless to even considerate it for debate.
Key felt like another lifeless day had passed by, not even remembering it was his eighteen birthday. Jonghyun had visited him that day, an awkward gift at hand as his concerned eyes scanned the corpse that was once Kim Kibum. The young boy didn’t need to be a genius to understand what was eating away Key’s life, and just like every other day, the worried best friend prayed for God to give Key’s life back. When Jonghyun told Key about his daily prayers, his surprise was great as a mocking laughter escaped the chapped lips of the younger one. God took him away Jjong, there’s no use to pray Jonghyun believed otherwise though, so he prayed silently for his friend, as well as his health and his soul.
The pain of losing the joy of his life was slowly consuming Key, to the point where food had to be forced down his throat. The nights where the worst though, waking up at some unglody hour screaming a name unknown to the world. His mother would always come barging into his room like a worn out routine, automatically extending her arms to cradle the asphyxiating boy in her arms while carrying him to the over used rocking chair in the corner. Like always, no words or questions were exchanged, Key gladly liking it that way.
After many days of begging his mother to forget the idea of a birthday party, the dreadful night came, and groaning at the sight of his tired mother holding a small birthday cake, Key couldn’t help but smile a little over the woman’s efforts.
“Make a wish.” Key bit his lips, tears prickling over his eyes as he eyed the single lighted candle over the deliciously looking cake. He took a seat on one of the empty chairs, pushing the sleeves of his overly large sweater to his elbows while his blurry eyes bored wholes over the cake.
“I… want those arms to hold me once again.” A small sob escaped the young boy’s lips, but he managed to take one shaky breath, blowing the small candle in a soft manner. The sound of clapping from his mother’s hands filled the silent atmosphere in the kitchen, and smiling in pain at his mother’s happy antics, Key cut the cake and served himself a small piece, despite the angry whines of his stomach.
Key found himself hours later in his room, staring tiredly at the ceiling as his mind fantasized like many times before. Jinki was probably happily flying in heaven by now, with his brand new pair of wings. Key sighed; imagining how divine the young angel most look with that big magical smile stretching over those lips he had had the luck to kiss. His eyes started closing, pupils dilating, and he would’ve fallen asleep if it wasn’t for the bright spur of light that blinded his vision in seconds. With white surrounding his vision, he groaned painfully as a heavy object fell on top of him, taking his breath away.
The light was gone in seconds, every color returning to his eyes one by one. Key realized he had closed his eyes the minute the offending light had hurt his cornea, and slowly opening his abused orbs, a shaky gasp escaped his lips as a familiar face greeted him from on top.
“I… still haven’t mastered the art of landing.” Key wanted to scream, to kick that older boy into oblivion, but he found himself sobbing, his hands trembling with the bashful need to embrace that unreal boy on top of him. Jinki noticed the messed up state of his love, and smiling shakily, he crashed his lips over the trembling ones that he had missed so much. Key couldn’t hold on any longer, so he let his arms sneak around the older boy’s neck, savoring the taste of heaven he had missed terribly.
“I-I… god I love you.” Key laughed, smashing his lips tighter over Jinki’s plush ones as his hands tried to grasp as much of him as possible. The younger boy was afraid that his former guardian would vanish like thin air once again, and Jinki could feel the fear in the other one’s actions.
“H-how, why… are you an angel now?” Jinki shook his head, rolling himself over so he was side to side with his lover. Key sighed, burying his face in that essence that the twenty-three year old seemed to exude with every breath.
“The day I… vanished, it was all our Father’s will. He said it was time for the archangels to decide of I was worthy of my wings, despite the fact that you still hadn’t turned eighteen. I was forbidden to see you, so I settled for watching you sleep, watching you walk… watching you breath. I waited for such a long time, dying every time a day passed that I couldn’t be by your side and then…”
Key took a deep breath, urging the older boy to continue.
“Your birthday came up. After hearing your wish, I couldn’t stay away any longer, so I was standing at the edge of heaven, battling with myself if I should break the rules and see you or abide to the laws imposed, when suddenly… I was pushed over the edge, falling on earth and… into your arms.”
“So… you didn’t win your wings in the end?” Jinki shrugged his shoulders slowly, not even trying to conceal his confusion. Key touched the older boy’s back, trying to prove himself that he was in fact, wingless.
“Key, I heard a loud crash coming from your roo-” Mrs. Kim walked inside the room, stopping dead in her tracks as she stared at the weird position her son was in. Key stared back, his arms still wrapped around Jinki while the other one had his arms around Key’s waist, holding him as close as possible.
“Key… there’s a boy holding you on your bed…”
Neither of the bodies on bed could utter a word, afraid that the moment would get spoiled somehow. Both boys realized that somehow Key’s mother could see and hear Jinki, and it finally dawned on them that Jinki was… human. Shrieks of joy filled the tensed room, and Mrs. Kim stood clueless as her son rolled on bed in the arms of a stranger. Key could care less about his little audience as he kissed his boyfriend lips away, marveling over the simplicity of the situation.
In the end Jinki’s fate had been decided that night, archangels finally coming to the conclusion that Jinki was far too human to be able to get his wings. Angels are supposed to be happy ethereal beings, rejoicing in the idea of living in heaven, but the holy Father understood that his perfect child had already been living in heaven all along, and that Key’s arms was the place where he truly felt like an angel. Heaven on earth existed, love being the bridge between them, and as Jinki protected the young boy while growing up, he was unknowingly being taught the meaning of love.
A heavy cough interrupted the happy celebration, and both boys found themselves blushing as the amused woman waited for an explanation. Key smiled, wrapping his arms around Jinki while he placed one last kiss on his plush lips, making the older boy sigh contently.
“Mom, this is Jinki. My guardian angel.”
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->Originally posted ignyte_passion
->Wanna see the original entry? click here