//Nothing Can Change What You Have Done To Me
The bursts of physical abuse from my mother, several years ago, severed any connection we formed when I was a child. I've received no punches since I was 12, and drift through the family household like a ghost, avoiding violent contact with my mother.
My relationship with my step-father, on the other hand, has always been quite pleasant. I look up to him, and we had a very good sense of harmony going. I'd say all of this is gone. Lost about 50/55 minutes ago. It's amazing how just 1 minute can topple your view of life upside down.
We had a difference in opinion (regarding WEBSITES FOR FUCK'S SAKE). His eyes got fiery, and he screamed at me, "you fucking idiot!". I responded, "You have no right to speak to me like that. What, just because I don't agree with you, I'm a fucking idiot?" He then left his chair, ran towards me, cornered me, and started to punch me in the torso area. Many times. Chaos ensued. Mum ran to us, seperated us, and yelled at him repeatendly. I just stood there in the living room corner, shaking and crying hysterically.
I'm shaking and crying hysterically now. This has never happened before. I'm so in shock, and surprised, that it happened.
Oh god, I don't even know why I'm writing this here. Once again, I just find writing here as the best way to cleanse my mind of poison. I feel so strange calling someone up and telling them what happened; it's just not something I feel comfortable doing. Oh god, why'd you do it, Dad? I love you so much and you're my role model, and you pull this crazy shit on me today? I'm a fucking adult, a very decent one. I don't deserve this. As much as I think most people are crap, NO ONE should be physically abused - especially over a difference in opinion.
I don't know what to do now. I need to get away. Fuck, this maelstrom of heated emotions that's running through me - I need to get rid of it. Suicidal thoughts ran through my mind, and I'm not embarrassed to admit that (I certainly won't act on them now). I'm not here to ask for attention - this post shows both my strong and weak areas. Both sides of my life, the good and the ugly. The full spectrum, baby.
No one deserves this. Fuck you, daddy. You narrow minded twathead. I'll fucking get you for this.