Dream Diary #1: Murder!!
It is bright tonight, on my last night alive. It's the end of my shift, and I'm sitting on the hood of my car. My friends are here--Mr. Daueterive and Briam Posehn. We're having a discussion--quiet whispers and large hand motions. I am amazed at Brian's thinness.
It isn't weight loss--no, it's far more than that. His frame had, at one point, contracted at the sides--changing him from an ogre into a broomstick. It is grotesque.
The three of us are enjoying our chat, backlit by the lights of the greatest city on earth, when I turn toward my skinniest companion.
"it was you!" Brian stepped back. He seems unsure of my meaning, but startled by the swiftness with which I pointed. "You're the killer!!!"
My vision starts to blurr as Brian closes his eyes, and turns his lips over into a frown. Brian speaks to me, but his voice won't reach past the cotton in my ears
He smiles, and I run. I run into the woods and down the hill and towards--my house?
How did I get here? It's almost thirty miles away! Did I run? Did I drive? I look around, but the chrysler is nowhere to be found. but i'm home, safe. I'll just go inside and-- There, in the kitchen.
Brian followed me home! He looks at me, and I try not to meet his gaze. But he locks on, and I freeze. He steps forward, my bladder swells. Sweat begins dripping from below my frizzy bangs, my forehead becomes coated by this sticky torrent and Brian continues foreward.
He's about to close the gap ,when i feel a bead of moisture in my eye. I blink , and stumble back towards the door. Dizzy, and staggering I run!
Quickly to the end of the driveway! Swiftly to the end of the block! My feet clap against the asphalt as my speed increases. I win! Victory! Glorious jubilation! He'll never catch me now! Now to seal the deal!
I draw my cell phone from my pocket, and flip it open to the keypad. My thumb dils faster than I can think.
Nine.
One.
Two!
NO damn it!! i try again.
Nine. Two...No! How could i be so stupid? Its a simple number!! Nine Nine! DAMN TINY PHONE!
The buttons are too small, they won't let me dial! i try one last time.
Nine. So far so good.
One. No problems there. Lets try the last one. It's easy, I just lift my finger...but not completely. I lift my finger and press it again. Ready? You can do it!!
One! It's ringing! "Hello you have reached 9-1-1 emergency!"
"yes!! i need your help! I'm being chased by--"
"--is after hours. Press one to be redirected to the FBI. If you are home alone, please be aware that there is a hurricane watch for..." I hang up.
But hope is not lost! I press my finger into the 0, and dial the operator.
"Hello. This is Dale Gribble. How can i help you?" Dale's the operator? That doesn't make any sense--it doesn't matter.
"Yes! Bill did it! Bill's the murderer!!" Why did i say that! It wasn't Bill! was it fear? or am I just--I hear a voice behind me.
Turning, I drop my cell phone. And then I wake up.
The characters of Bill Deautreve and Dale Gribble are the property of whoever currently owns the Television show: King of the Hill.
Brian Posehn is his own property.