FF: Twice in a Lifetime | Sanctuary | Helen/Charlotte | R 3/7
Before Helen had hired Will to work at the Sanctuary she hadn't exactly been helpless. Ashley was a capable assistant although she tacked toward the combat aspect of the job far more than the technical or scientific aspects. Around the world in her network of sanctuaries there were doctors, scientists, administrators, all of whom she had worked with, trained, mentored, and respected. It wasn't as if she'd needed Will.… she'd wanted him.
She'd wanted someone with unwavering loyalty but the backbone to stand up to her, to argue, to contradict, to see the world in a slightly different way that challenged all her assumptions. The people she'd worked with at the Sanctuary over the years were good, very good, but Will was better. She saw herself in him, in the relentless way he attacked a problem, refusing to give up until an answer was found. He was all the best parts of her - the parts it felt as if she'd lost somewhere along the way when it has just gotten so damn tiring to keep fighting so hard all the time. He was her protégé and she couldn't have been prouder of him.
Which was why the cold shoulder he gave her after Abby was made host to the Analid hurt her so badly. Helen understood it of course. Will loved Abby which made him cautious, and having Helen go over his head, even though it worked, was too much for him. He'd come too close to losing the person he loved most, and because he couldn't blame Abby, or the creature, he blamed Helen. And because it worked into her plan, far more perfectly than she could have even hoped for, she let him.
But it didn't mean that it didn't hurt.
While Will helps nurse Abby back to health, Helen leaves the Sanctuary in Henry's care, telling him vaguely about some "business" she must see to. Henry mutters something about "mom and dad fighting" and waves her away.
She manages to keep herself together until she is standing at Charlotte's door. The younger woman takes one look at her and pulls her into a crushing hug, holding Helen tightly as she finally breaks down from the stress and fear and bruised feelings and gives into tears.
Over two fingers of whiskey Helen explains what happened, keeping a promise to Charlotte that she's repeatedly broken with Will: no secrets. Charlotte nods along, understanding the complexity of Helen's choice as well Will's pain and judging neither. She pushes Helen into a hot bath, brings her tea, and then orders her to bed, sliding in right after, holding the older woman tightly in her arms until they both drift off to sleep.
When Charlotte wakes up the next morning, Helen is already up, a cup of tea in her hand as she gives Charlotte a freshly brewed cup of coffee, her nose crinkling in faint disgust. Charlotte takes the coffee without comment and drops a kiss on her lover's cheek, murmuring her thanks. They step out on the balcony and survey the landscape below.
"You weren't kidding about a world beyond my wildest dreams," Charlotte says mildly as they look down on the Sanctuary - or what will be the Sanctuary soon enough.
"No regrets?" Helen asks dryly, her eyes sparkling.
"Not at the moment… although I haven't almost been turned into an abnormal yet, so I reserve my final judgment."
"Duly noted."
*
"Have you seen Hardison's Aquatic Vegetation anywhere," Will asks as he walks into Magnus' office, his face buried in another book altogether. "I was trying to expand my notes on the telepathic phytoplankton we found last month and I can't find the book anywhere."
Helen looks up from her own book, shrugging. "Haven't seen it recently. Did you check the main library?"
Will nods. "And the lab, and the third floor library, and Henry's workroom."
"Why on earth-"
"-He uses the heavier books as doorstops," Will answers, fighting a smirk at the horrified look on Helen's face.
She bites her tongue, barely. "I see… well, I haven't seen the book in here, but you're welcome to look," she offers with an expansive gesture.
He glances around at the rows and rows of shelves, the hundreds of books from her personal library she keeps close at hand, and sighs. "If you haven't seen it, I'm sure it's not here."
"I'll keep an eye out," Helen assures, smiling all the way until Will is once more out of the office. She opens her desk drawer, picks up Aquatic Vegetation and slides it into her briefcase for safe keeping.
Slowly but surely, not so much for anyone to notice, she's begun removing small items from the Sanctuary. Rare books that haven't been scanned into her vast electronic collection, personal journals, a few sentimental items. She has acquired more than a lifetime's worth of things but there are precious few she is loathe to part with permanently. Scrapbooks of Ashley's childhood. Her mother's locket. Her father's fountain pen. Small things she can steal away a bit at a time without anyone noticing.
She makes other, slightly more noticeable changes. There are more nights spent in front of a grand, glorious fireplace, curled up with her work and a bottle of wine she's been saving for "special occasions" for more than fifty years. The fact she is alive is special enough after this long. She eats dessert without thought for her figure, spars with Declan as if she is fighting the Devil himself, and gives Henry free reign of the credit cards for whatever projects he wants to tinker around with.
If Will notices her change in behavior, he says nothing, the silence and distance growing steadily between them as each day passes. Helen tells herself she has borne much worse than the distance between friends. This she will endure, because she must, and in the end all she can do is pray he will forgive her. And pray that forgiveness will be enough for them both.
*
It's been a long chess game, decades in the making. Hollow Earth, abnormals, the Fifth Ward, SCIU, Caleb… all of it has led to this moment, and these precious few moves before checkmate, when the pieces will be struck from the table either in total annihilation or to start the game anew. Helen knows now those are the only two options: total success or total failure with the future of the abnormal population at stake. It is not a task she has taken on lightly, but it has been her burden since the first time she looked an abnormal in the eyes and promised it her protection and care.
Helen refuses to waiver now, even in the face of Will's anger. "You knew," he accuses, eyes flashing with hurt and betrayal. "You knew this might happen… and you've been hiding it from me for months."
Years, actually, she thinks. It was the most logical course of action for SCIU. They would want someone with experience dealing with abnormals, and Will, as a human, was the most likely candidate. She just didn't know the extent to which the government would press him into service. "You will know everything when the time is right, I promise, Will."
He glares back at her, furious. "You can't ask me to do this."
"But I am," she answers coldly, her stare as even and determined as she is.
"You're unbelievable." Without another word he strides past her. Helen stands there until she hears the door to his bedroom slam shut down the hall before finally letting out the breath she has been holding.
An hour later, when Will has stormed from the building without a goodbye, Helen calls Henry up to her office. She leans back against the desk and gives him a weary smile.
"Henry, do you trust me?"
"Of course, Doc," Henry answers without hesitation. It eases the vice around Helen's chest slightly.
"I have to ask you to do something and I can't really tell you why and you're not going to like it. Do you still trust me?"
Henry smirks. "Well, it wouldn't really be trust if I said no."
"I need you to lock out Will's access codes. To everything. He is no longer in my employ."
"You fired him," he asks, voice rising in panic. "I know you two were having issues but-"
"He's not fired Henry, but he is going to work for SCIU."
If possible, Henry's voice shoots up another octave. "What?" She explains patiently what has happened and why she has insisted Will not fight the rendition of his services to SCIU. "Okay, fine," Henry argues, "but we don't need to shut him out completely, do we?"
"That's exactly what we need to do."
His shoulders slump, helpless. He was sworn his allegiance to Helen, given her his trust without reservation, and now must follow through with both. "Okay."
"I don't do this lightly Henry, but it is in Will's best interest that he knows nothing of what we're going to do over the next few days. It is essential."
It's not much of an explanation but Henry accepts it and for that Helen is eternally grateful. He leaves to follow her orders, the weight of what she has asked hanging heavily on his shoulders.
Helen waits until he is gone and then reaches into her bottom desk drawer, popping open the false bottom to retrieve a solitary cell phone. She dials the only number the phone has been programmed to call.
Charlotte picks up on the second ring. "Having a bad day," she asks knowingly.
"Not as bad as some, worse than most."
"That sounds pretty bad. Anything I can do?"
"Just… talk to me for a few minutes? About anything. Please?"
Charlotte launches into a story about the notoriously difficult mating behavior of pandas and how some Chinese scientists addressed the issue by showing the bears the equivalent of panda "porn." The anecdote makes Helen smile, and for a while she just sits back in her chair and lets Charlotte's voice wash over her, pretending for just a little while that everything is fine and the most pressing issue in the world is impotent pandas.
*
Shutting Will out hurts - almost as much as it hurts when she punches him. Damn, but the man has a jaw like steel.
"Magnus, don't do this," he pleads, trying even now to find a solution, even if he is there to arrest her. Something she absolutely isn't about to let happen.
"Sorry, Will," she says wholly unrepentant before punching him again.
To her surprise, he punches back.
Someday, they will have this fight. A good old-fashioned, knock-down, drag-out airing of their grievances. But she has no time for that now. Instead, she lands a kick to his chest square on, knocking him back over the hood of a parked car and runs for his bike, speeding off just as back up makes its inevitably late arrival.
She makes it back to the Sanctuary with no further trouble knowing Will, Addison, and SCIU won't dare try and arrest her inside the heavily fortified complex. Besides, they have bigger problems to contend with, as does she.
Helen heads to the Fifth Ward, seeking Caleb out for one last conversation. She has never trusted him, and has suspected all along he has been behind the rogue abnormals and their attacks on humans and the government. An opportunist who filled the vacuum of power when most abnormals chose to return to Hollow Earth, he is smart, but not smart enough to beat her. Especially not after a century of planning.
Only one thing makes her reticent: Biggie.
Over fifty years they had known each other, and in some ways, he was still the enigma she'd rescued in the woods so many decades before. He'd been friend, confidant, bodyguard and housekeeper, and while Helen thought that she understood him fairly well, she had never, not once, deceived herself into believing that she'd ever truly known him.
He had refused to discuss his history, his people, or his choice to stay with her among humans instead of returning to the woods where she'd found him. She'd always suspected there were more to his abilities, to his life, than he'd ever shared, but she'd also always respected him too much to press the matter.
And now, it seemed, he was choosing a new path altogether.
It was difficult to believe that he had decided to align his loyalties with Caleb so quickly, and yet… Helen knew it had been a difficult year for him. Difficult for them all. And she understood how the weight of being different, other, hated and hunted, can wear on someone over a lifetime.
When she sees him lurking nearby, trying to catch her attention while she talks to Caleb, she knows she cannot avoid this conversation any longer. "Do you have a moment?"
"I should have come to you first. There wasn't time."
"Shall we," Magnus asks, nodding to the side where they will have some privacy and she can press the him on what is really going on. But he surprises her instead, insisting they can speak freely in front of Caleb. "All right then… I hope you know that I would never try to stand in your way."
"I do."
And that's when it happens.
She hears his voice echoing inside her mind even as he speaks.
Magnus, it's me. Nod your head if you understand.
She nods, somewhat slowly, staring at him as she tries to process this latest revelation.
"It's just… things happen quickly. Felt right." Caleb has a secret plan. I have to stop him. You understand why I have to do this.
"So, you've made your decision?" She asks, hoping he sees in her eyes well enough that he doesn't need to do this. She will find another way, any other way.
I can't let him hurt people. I won't let him hurt… my family.
The words are accompanied by a series of images: Ashley, as a child, climbing all over him without any fear; He and Henry playing chess; He and Kate sparring; Will giving him a favorite book. Helen feels the love in every image, and the weight of responsibility he feels to protect them. It is the same weight she carries as well. "This is my home now," he says with resigned finality. I don't know if I'll make it through this, but I have to do it. You understand that better than anyone.
She wants to hug him, to offer some comfort, but all she can manage under Caleb's prying eyes is, "Of course." She reaches out instead, taking his hand and squeezing tightly, trying to pour every ounce of love and respect she has for him into the gesture. She doesn't know if he can feel it, or even understand it, but it is there, as obvious in her grip as in her eyes. "It won't be the same without you."
He moves toward her, stepping closer, his eyes never leaving hers. Once more images and feelings flood her mind. She sees the first time they met, his fear, his gratitude. Saving each other's lives again and again. Quiet meals, good books. She sees them watching Casablanca at a drive-in - the first time he'd ever eaten popcorn. A lifetime of friendship. Companionship. For better or worse, he has been the longest relationship she's ever had and they both know they wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
And then he is gone, brushing past her to walk off with Caleb.
Helen leans against the wall, another weight, another loss, hanging heavily on her shoulders. Softly she whispers, "Goodbye, dear friend," and hopes that somehow the universe will carry her words to him.
*
In a perfect world she would never have gone running to the media to breathlessly introduce the existence of abnormals, but SCIU forces her hand. It is a desperate move, she knows that. Trading a knight to save a queen, but with so few moves left in this chess game, it is a necessary sacrifice. A sacrifice she is sure no one really understands, least of all Will.
"How's your head," she asks gamely when she calls him, rubbing her own sore and swollen jaw.
"It'll heal. My pride is another story."
"Ah, yes, well some things can't be helped."
"I always said you were crazy… but this?"
"It was vital Addison and his agenda be derailed. At least momentarily."
"Yeah, well, that's happening. Would you care to explain why?"
"Because creating a prison isn't the final move here. It will be something far worse."
"Come on. Even Addison wouldn't go that far."
"Oh, the order won't come from him," Helen responds knowingly. "It will come from higher up. Look, I realize this is intolerable for you. But I need you to stay focused. You're in the right place at the moment," she assures, hanging up before he can ask the inevitable question.
A moment later she calls Declan. "It's time. I need you to institute Alpha protocol."
"Are you having me on?" he asks with a laugh. She's given him vague, dire warnings about what to expect over the last few months, but never anything like this.
"I wish I was," she sighs. "We need to evacuate."
"I… I'll be there soon as I can," Declan stutters, obeying without hesitation, the situation too preposterous for it to be some form of drill or joke on Helen's part.
"I'll be waiting," Helen promises before hanging the phone up.
There is one more call to be made. She pulls out her other phone, dialing the number by heart. "Charlotte, it's time."
Part Four