love

Jun 09, 2005 10:59

I've received the following email, twice and it's starting to bother me.



My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York .

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to
be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America. Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

(Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens! Let's
get this to every USA computer!)

It makes me cry. The ignorance, the arrogrance, the hate, the complete lack of compassion. Whoever wrote this has no idea. No clue. Has never seen beyond their backyard.

America does not need more money or aid. America is doing just fucking fine. Yes, we have a problems (mostly involving foreign relations), yes there are many people 'suffering'. There are also a lot of programs set up to help those that are less fortunate. A whole lot. There is enough money here.

They haven't seen hunger, starvation, homelessness where there aren't "shelters" or soup kitchens or any sort of assistance. America, nor any of it's citizens are poor. Oh, you can't afford health care? I promise you if you need care, you'll get it. Hospitals have to provide it. You may owe them money, but you'll be alive. Not so much everywhere else. I'm terribly sorry it isn't free and handed to you on a silver platter. Being born entitled you to nothing but the chance to try for whatever you wanted, and no, there are no promises it's going to be easy.

There is food here. A lot of it too. Can't afford it? You can find it for free. There are places where there just isn't food. None. Not there. Can't find it. Can't steal it. It's just not there. And we are supposed to NOT send aid to those countries cause they wouldn't back us up? Mayhaps they were more concerned with disease, famine, and the tens of thousands of their citizens that die everyday. Confusing the citizens of a country with their government and it's actions is a very, very bad thing to do.

I know I'm lucky. I know I'm priviledged. I also know I could lose all of it. I know not everyone is as fortunate as I am. All the more reason for me to give back.

I can't argue that many countries have corrupt governments (America, raise your hand). But, uh, let's look into it and see how much of OUR money is floating around those governments.

About the UK. How about you ask any of the citizens how THRILLED they are with Tony Blair, and the U.S. getting them involved in this shit. Really. They love it. Lovelovelove. I think their papers pretty much covered it on Nov. 3rd.

It saddens me that there are people like the author of that email in this world. In this country. They are depriving themselves of so much joy, so much knowledge and possibility. Then again, even if they did try, they probably wouldn't be able to fully enjoy the experiences and life the world has to offer. They will never feel the joy, freedom and comraderie of stepping outside your countries borders feeling more like a citizen of a strange world community, than any one country.

I'm gonna go eat some granola now.

xoxo
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