That's it!

[murg]

Everything is perfect now, I don't want to make a movement...
I'm too scared to breathe, I might do something wrong.
As you're sleeping silently - perfect beauty laid before me...
I feel every second is a life time long...I don't usually write much personal in my journal, but I guess tonight I feel like actually writing something that's a little

Comments

[nixtress]

::hugs::

[murg]

Finally, we can elope!! :D

*hugs back*

[murg]

*rofl!* You're not?! Oh man. All this time. :(
I thought I knew you!!!

[lethrdadchicago]

Just stumbling on the scene here, so forgive me for tossing in a comment...but just off the cuff, sometimes chronological age doesn't correspond with maturity very well. Sounds like you had a much better handle on what a relationship SHOULD be about than John did, and you may have finally reached the point where that's not good enough for you. That's not whining, that's deciding not to settle. My two cents.

[murg]

Thanks matey... Yeah, it's hard I guess. He was adorable, and really nice. He was sper helpful and friendly and never nasty! And had a cute scottish accent... He started out so happy all the time and slowly got grouchier and sulky. It ruined a lot of great times and made things awkward for friends sometimes.

I explained it to him a million times, and everyone I know seems to have a grip on it! I guess he will learn when he is ready. He deserves to be happy, and I really hope he finds someone perfect! I guess we just had different expectations, even though they seemed identical at the start.

[chrisx]

wow, you have way more patience than I do. If someone would have bottled up and blown up at me about little shit like you are saying John did, he would have been out the door after the second time. (First time is forgivable, second, nah-uh).

Also, I agree, it's so important to have your own thing and your own time. Sometimes I feel like I'm off running around way too much with all of my hobbies, but my partner doesn't seem to mind. He just asks "So what days will you be home after work?" Of course, we live together, so I never have entire days to myself.

[murg]

I would had loved to be able to have him come home after going to dinner with his friends and ask if he had fun, or go out without feeling bad for leaving him behind. I love doing my own thing, or going out with someone I care about but both being able to enjoy others company and not be side by side all night.

He bottled it up more than once or twice :P Then its a massive deal in his head, and I dont know how to deal with it, because it isnt real and he just made it seem super bad in his mind... AAAH! It was the 5th serious argument. DOH! This last one made me decide it was definitely finished, no matter how much I care about him and love him... Some peeps never learn right?

[cowslayer]

I can understand exactly what you're talking about, especially the part where you say how frustrating it is for him not to understand something that is so clear and common sense to you. It also baffles me that he was so blinded by his neediness that he just couldn't even understand why it was a problem.
In my relationship, we have a similar problem because Joe is currently home on disability and I'm in medical school. Huuuuge difference in free time we each possess. He is pretty understanding on the surface and does his thing but definitely stumbles every once in a while by being passive-aggressive/bitchy about my lack of free time.

[cowslayer]

I really do hope that things do work out in the end. Maybe he will now realize that the time he had with you was a hell of a lot better than not seeing you at all.

[murg]

Nah... I asked for 2 weeks off last year to make him realise, and he did. But he slowly got worse again.

I'm really done with it this time, I've paid back anything I owe on any cards, working on seperating our health insurance and I've packed every last tiny thing that could possibly be his.

It sucks watching someone you love get upset all the time, whilst trying to maintain your annoyance at how stupid they are being. Prety horrible feeling really.

[murg]

It's normal to be upset if you arent getting quality tme I guess... But if the time you have together is great, then I dont see the trouble! If you both know theres an issue but you cant do much about it then I guess as long as you deal with it, youre set!

I dunno why he didnt realise. I would have stuck by him forever!

[furrylilfucker]

*hugs*

The only thing I can wish is your happiness (and sanity), so... may you find the two.

[murg]

Hahaha... Sanity!! Oh please. :) I dont stand a chance with that!

So far I feel pretty happy. I mean, it's sad, but I saw it coming at least. It's not like we broke up over cheating or anything heinous... we're just not right huh?

I could come over and stalk you, but once you peed on me in the alley I would squeal and tell you to stop. ;)~

[furrylilfucker]

LOL

Stalkers are always fun. I had one from 13-18. Oh wait, that was my boyfriend. Shit. Not enough coffee this AM. And I'd never pee on one who didn't want it.

Seriously, though, I'm sure you'll get through this. Boyfriends who wanna be lesbians aren't cute.

[murg]

See that's where we're different. I would!! Maybe in a cup first though, and throw it on them... cos they got in my way whilst shopping. :P

There's that stupid little bit that sits in the back of your mind going "You know, hes pretty awesome most of the time. Cant you find a way to ignore it, or get past it... why not? Cmonnnn!" and I am trying so hard to ignore it.

Im pretty sure my house will be impeccably spotless soon.