I like to think I'm a kind person, in general. It's just that I've been suffering from an excess of anger lately, so I may not be as kind (in general) as I normally am. But I'd *REALLY* like to think that those I care about would always 'deserve' kindness from me. Which is why the anger confuses me, I guess. Sorry. I think I lost track of where this note was going. :)
Suffice to say, I've always enjoyed our (brief) times together, as well.
Families can get at us, and push those buttons, better than anyone else.
You're correct that divorcing yourself from their toxic behavior is the only real solution. Nobody can change another person, or make them emotionally healthy. Getting away (and staying away) is the best thing you can do.
I would recommend some sort of support group, because I learned it in Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, although I don't know what kind of support group there is for people recovering from fucked-up families.
*sighs* It just hurts so damned much, y'know? It seems unfair - I know nobody promised me a rose garden, but I don't remember anyone promising me endless crowns of thorns, either.
I don't know about the whole toxic-family-as-recovery-material thing - There's Alanon, there's Emotions Anonymous... I tried looking up "families" and only came up with something like Alanon. *shrugs*
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I like to think I'm a kind person, in general. It's just that I've been suffering from an excess of anger lately, so I may not be as kind (in general) as I normally am. But I'd *REALLY* like to think that those I care about would always 'deserve' kindness from me. Which is why the anger confuses me, I guess. Sorry. I think I lost track of where this note was going. :)
Suffice to say, I've always enjoyed our (brief) times together, as well.
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You're correct that divorcing yourself from their toxic behavior is the only real solution. Nobody can change another person, or make them emotionally healthy. Getting away (and staying away) is the best thing you can do.
I would recommend some sort of support group, because I learned it in Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, although I don't know what kind of support group there is for people recovering from fucked-up families.
I wouldn't be surprised to hear that one exists.
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I don't know about the whole toxic-family-as-recovery-material thing - There's Alanon, there's Emotions Anonymous... I tried looking up "families" and only came up with something like Alanon. *shrugs*
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Al-Anon doesn't focus on the drinking partner, it focuses on the member, and drinking often doesn't have anything to do with it.
Good Luck! (With whatever answers you find.)
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