fic: A Million Light Years from Home (HP/Firefly; Sirius, ensemble, gen)
Title: A Million Light Years from Home
Author: victoria p. [victoria @ unfitforsociety.net]
Summary: "You're a long, long way from home, but you're a good dog."
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Jo's and Joss's.
Archive: Achromatic.
Feedback: is love
Notes: There are many people who deserve blame for this, too many to list, really. I'd like to thank luzdeestrellas for betaing -- she really made this a much better story than it was -- and thanks also to mousapelli, hwmitzy, angelgazing, and leadensky for letting me spam them with bits of this on AIM, and rageprufrock for helping me when I had a bit of a spazz attack about the Chinese. All errors are mine alone.
Word count: 5,905
Date: January 23, 2006
~*~
A Million Light Years from Home
The girl smells of engine grease that hasn't been completely washed off, familiar from long afternoons he'd spent tinkering with his motorbike. She bends to pet him and he thumps his tail, nearly purring in bliss when she scratches behind his ears. She tells him he's a good boy and she lets him eat the rest of her food, which he fervently hopes isn't some distant canine relative, out of her hand. As she shops, he follows her through the market, licking her fingers and pressing close to her side. He thinks he may have found someone who will take him home and explain to him where the hell he is, because even though it sounds and smells like Chinatown, he's not in London any longer. He doesn't know where he is -- the stars aren't right, and the Muggle cars all have levitation charms on them, and there's no scent of magic in the air or feel of it in the earth.
He follows her all the way to the docks, to these strange Muggle aeroplanes that don't look like they should be able to fly -- to one that appears even older and ganglier than the rest.
Another girl -- dark-haired, barefoot -- comes running out and flings her arms around his neck as if they are old friends. She smells of apples and illness, like Remus on mornings after the full moon, and she giggles when he licks her face.
"Kaylee, you finish the shop-- No. Absolutely not." Sirius barks and thumps his tail again; he turns to look, knowing the voice of authority when he hears it. The man is tall and blue-eyed, handsome in a rough, haggard way that also reminds him of Remus, with lines of care worn around his mouth and dark shadows under his eyes. Sirius doesn't think he'll be as easy to charm as Remus used to be.
"He's a good boy, Cap'n, really," Kaylee wheedles. "He wouldn't be no trouble."
"Kaylee, he's the size of a small horse. We don't got the room, nor the money to feed him. A dog needs to run free, not be cooped up in a spaceship."
Spaceship? He peers around the girl, trying to get a good look at the inside of the ship. It doesn't look anything the spaceships he remembers from the Muggle films Lily used to drag them to, but then, this doesn't look like any future he's imagined, either, if it is in fact the future and not some mad dream inspired by Dementors or Grimmauld Place or something. Sometimes he worries he's dreaming everything, that he's still back in Azkaban and he's finally gone mad. Then he remembers Harry and Remus, the night at the Shrieking Shack and the battle at the Department of Mysteries, and he knows he's not.
"Not free," the other girl says, as if she knows what he's thinking. "Not free for a long time." She gathers her skirt and kneels in the dust in front of him, runs her hand over his muzzle. "Just like me."
"River." Another man comes barreling out of the spaceship, younger than the captain. "Come back inside."
The girl -- River -- makes a face and says, "Brothers," in a tone he might have once used himself, and rubs her nose against his fur. He licks her face again in response, because put-upon siblings should stick together. She pets him one more time and then rises, following her brother away.
Kaylee lingers until the captain yells, "Kaylee, ain't you got work to be doing?" She gives him one last apologetic scratch behind his ears and hurries up the gangplank, looking back over her shoulders with teary eyes.
He watches the door close behind her, then lets himself become a man again. He closes his eyes in concentration, focusing on what he's seen of the inside of the ship as they were loading it, and with a soft pop, he Apparates.
*
He takes up less space as a man, but the deck plates are cold and it's warmer as a dog, so he curls up in the shadows and waits.
The ship shudders as the engines roar, and it's nothing like flying on his motorbike or broom -- no wind in his hair, no sights to see. He rests his head on his paws, wondering if he's made the right choice.
He dozes fitfully, and wakes, surprised, when River slips into his nook with a bowl of water. He's fairly certain no one saw him Apparate onto the ship, but she knows exactly where he's hiding, seems to expect to find him there. He drinks gratefully and then rests his head in her lap.
"You're a long way from home, aren't you?" she says. "And not what you seem." He whines softly, again surprised at how much she seems to know. "Captain's not going to be happy to see you, but he'll come around." She pulls some dumplings out of her pocket and he eats them, then licks her fingers.
He's able to stay hidden that night, exploring the ship when everyone else goes to sleep. There's a woman sleeping on the sofa in the lounge, and he tucks the blanket around her more securely as he passes through. He finds the passenger rooms, and is tempted to stay human, sleep in a bed for the first time in a week, but after he uses the facilities, he melts back into dog form, back into the shadows of the cavernous cargo bay.
Kaylee finds him the next morning. She manages to stifle her squeal of happiness and bring him some food and water for breakfast, which he eats with gusto. He's thinking he could get used to this life, being hand-fed by beautiful girls as he flies through the air, when the captain's voice rings out, his boots clanging on the metal stairs.
"Kaylee! Gorrammit, where are you? I got check engine lights flashing on the console and-- Qingwa cào de liúmáng. What the rutting hell is that gorram dog doing on my boat? Did I not tell you--"
"I didn't," she says. She doesn't sound or smell scared, so Sirius isn't too worried. "He was just here this morning. Must've followed me on board when I wasn't looking."
Sirius sits still and tries to look adorable and harmless. The captain doesn't look like he's buying it.
River comes running down the stairs behind the captain. "He needs our help," she says. "Can't throw him out now."
"I told you he wouldn't be no trouble," Kaylee adds. "He was quiet enough you didn't even know he was on board till you seen him."
The captain looks from one girl to the other and shakes his head. "Hâo ba, but you two are responsible for him. I ain't feeding him and I for damn sure ain't cleaning up after him." He walks back up the stairs, muttering in Chinese. At the top he turns back and yells, "And we're dropping him off on Santo."
"Yes sir," Kaylee calls up to him, laughter in her voice. Sirius licks her hand again in gratitude.
*
He spends most of his time with Kaylee, curled up in the engine room, or with River when she's not flying the ship. She talks to him like he's human, like she knows he's human, and though there's still no scent of magic about her, he wonders if she's a Legilimens. Muggles have all sorts of legends about mind-readers and telepaths, and while he knows most of them are exactly that, it's possible there's something more to it. He's seen stranger things.
He avoids the others, tries to keep out of the way, hoping the captain will let him stay on if he isn't any trouble. He listens, trying to learn more about where he is, how he can get home, but mostly they talk about something called the Alliance, and how it makes life hard for them. He hears Mal and Inara argue over her returning to work, and sees Kaylee and Simon slip off together for a shag. River chatters about flying and physics and dancing, Jayne about hunting and whores and guns. Zoe doesn't talk at all.
He finds her sleeping in the lounge some nights, and he curls up at her feet, offering the comfort his instincts tell him she needs and will never take. In the morning, she puts a hand on his head, runs her fingers through his fur for a brief moment, and then walks away.
He still has his wand, but it's not much use when he's a dog, and the only thing he uses it for when he transforms back is to light his way through the ship once everyone else is asleep, and to heat his nightly cup of tea. He hasn't chanced any other spells; he doesn't want to risk being forced to leave before they reach Santo. He's not sure how -- if -- Apparition works in outer space.
He stays in the common area during meals. The captain doesn't like him begging for table scraps, and River always makes sure he gets fed, but he likes listening to them talk at dinner. They remind him of the Weasleys -- a fractious family, but a caring one. There are empty places at the table and he'd like to know more about them, but he can't ask, and so far River hasn't volunteered that information.
He's dozing after dinner that night when Zoe asks Kaylee, "What's his name?"
"Dog," River answers before Kaylee can speak.
"Ain't that creative," Jayne mutters and Mal shoots him a look.
"His mother named him," River says, "named and loved and hated. Her bright star, fallen."
Sirius whines and thumps his tail against the deck.
"So he's a dog and a star?" the captain asks. His patience with River reminds Sirius of Remus, makes him like the man better than he ordinarily would; the fact that he can make sense of her -- that he even tries -- when the others can't is impressive.
"We are all made of stars," River replies.
The captain toasts her with his mug, smiling. "You do got a shine to you, little one."
"So what do we call the dog?" Jayne presses, impatient with the captain's indulgence of River's nonsense.
"I do believe River's answered the question, Jayne."
"Sirius." River smiles.
Jayne doesn't. "I am serious."
"Sirius is a white main sequence star, Alpha Canis Majoris, approximately eight point seven light years from Earth-that-was," River says, snapping from cryptic to clinical in a heartbeat. "The dog star."
Sirius barks in encouragement. He's still not sure what they mean by "Earth-that-was," though he has an idea that makes him queasy when he thinks about it too much. The only books he's seen on board have been in Inara's shuttle, where he is not allowed, though he's sneaked in once or twice; it smells like the head shop he used to frequent when he lived in London. The books -- the ones in English, anyway -- haven't told him anything he wants to know, except that it's about five hundred years later than it was two weeks ago, when he rushed to the Ministry to help Harry. He's trying not to think about that.
The captain stands. "Okay then. Don't see as how it matters much when he'll be leaving us tomorrow," Kaylee and River both protest but he talks over them, "but Sirius it is."
*
Later that night, he's enjoying what may be his last cup of tea for a long while (he thinks maybe Kaylee and River will convince the captain to let him stay, but he's not counting on it), when he hears the heavy tread of boots on the deck plates. Before he has the chance to transform or draw his wand, there is a sound like a firecracker and a sharp pain in his shoulder. Sirius drops the mug, vaguely aware of tea splashing on the counter, and turns to see the captain, gun in hand. River has hold of his arm.
"River, what the hell--" Mal says, trying to shake free from her grip.
"He doesn't mean us any harm. He's a good dog," River says, still clutching Mal's arm. "You don't put a good dog down."
The rest of the crew appears in the kitchen in various states of undress. Zoe and Jayne train their guns on Sirius, and he thinks he may not be able to talk himself out of this.
Simon goes immediately to River. "Are you all right?"
"I'm the one who's just been shot," Sirius says, clutching at the wound in his shoulder.
The captain rolls his eyes. "And I'll do it again, you don't start talking, mâshàng."
"River's right." Sirius sags against the counter. "I'm the dog." It takes all his concentration, but he closes his eyes and lets his body change, ignoring the sharp pain in his shoulder. He tells himself it's nothing compared to what Remus has gone through every month for the past thirty years. When he changes back into human form, the room gives a lurch, and he thinks maybe the demonstration of his abilities was a bad idea.
They are all yelling at him in a cacophony of English and Chinese, until the captain shouts, "Nimen dou bì zuî!" He turns to Sirius. "Now, howsabout you do some explaining 'bout why you're on my boat, tell me why I shouldn't riddle you with holes and toss your worthless carcass out the airlock?"
Sirius takes a deep breath and slides his wand into his hand, blood making it slippery in his grip. "Magic," he starts, but his vision goes yellow at the edges, and the floor rushes up to meet him.
He comes to in the infirmary, feeling a little woozy. He peeks through his lashes to see the lot of them spilling out of the doorway as they argue. Mal and Zoe still have their guns out. Zoe eyes him warily but stays quiet as the others talk.
"Ain't no such thing as magic," Mal is saying. "That's crazy talk."
"He turns into a dog, Mal. I seen it. Hell, you seen it." Jayne's hand never leaves his gun. "Can you turn into a dog?"
"River turned into Serenity once," Kaylee points out.
River slips into the room, putting herself between Sirius and the captain. "But not really."
"Well, no," Kaylee concedes.
"River, please," Simon says, guiding her back out. Then he turns and glares at the captain. "There isn't enough room in here for all of you and your guns."
"I'll stay." Zoe's tone brooks no argument, though the captain looks like he wants to give her one.
"No, no, that's quite all right." Sirius pushes himself up on his elbows, then regrets it when his shoulder twinges, even through the haze of whatever pain potion they've given him. "I'm no danger to you, really. I just want to get home."
"Home?" the captain asks. "And just where might that be?"
"London."
"You can get transport to Londinium from Santo."
"He doesn't mean Londinium," River says. "He means London. On Earth-that-was."
Sirius nods. "About that, um, can someone tell me what happened? I gather it wasn't good. I just--"
"And I still haven't heard a good reason for me not to put you out the airlock."
"I can be of use, Captain. I--"
"Ain't no such thing as magic, and I don't deal with them as traffics in the kinds of trickery you seem to be engaging in."
"You live on a spaceship." He glances at River. "With a mind-reader. I don't think you should dismiss me so quickly."
The captain grabs his shirt, pulls him up and gets right in his face, even less friendly than he'd been before. "What do you know about River?"
"She knew I was human. She knew my name."
Simon says, "River?"
"Sirius Black, you're a long, long way from home," she says, uncurling the captain's fingers and smoothing Sirius's shirt, "but you're a good dog."
*
It's a different life from what he's used to, but not a bad one. Hexes and jinxes work as well as guns on the kinds of jobs they pull, "though it wouldn't hurt if you knew how to use a gun, 'specially if your magic stick gets broke," Mal tells him, and he nods but keeps putting the lessons off. The thought of being alone with Zoe and her shotgun sends a shiver down his spine.
He still spends most of his time with River and Kaylee, trying to be helpful where he can. Kaylee gives him a rough sketch of each crewmember's background, but when he presses for information about River, she clams up. The others all look tense when he asks -- Mal goes white around the mouth, Zoe's eyes harden, and Jayne's hand rests on the butt of his gun -- and change the subject.
"Ask the right questions, maybe you'll get the right answer," River says. "Simon saved me." She cocks her head, brow furrowed in concentration. "You couldn't save your brother. You didn't even try."
He'd had to tell them an abridged story of his life -- hit the high points, anyway -- before Mal would let him stay onboard, but hadn't mentioned Regulus at all.
"Maybe he wasn't worth saving."
"Does that make you feel better?"
He doesn't say anything. Regulus wasn't the only brother he'd failed, just the first one.
River shakes her head. "Didn't think so."
After that, he doesn't ask about what happened to her.
Jayne doesn't know quite what to make of him and Sirius is fine keeping his distance. Simon is fascinated by his store of healing spells and herb lore, and they work together sometimes, because, as Mal puts it, "some of our jobs are more interesting than others," though judicious use of stupefy, stunning spells, and full body-binds has helped somewhat at keeping injuries to the crew at bay.
The captain and Zoe both are wary, though once he proves himself on the job, Mal warms to him slightly; the fact that River vouches for him seems to carry more weight than Sirius would expect, but then again, she is a Legilimens, no matter what they call it, and Sirius has always been shit at Occlumency. He doesn't like having his mind open to the girl like a raw wound, but he can't always help it. She seems to understand, far better than anyone her age should have to.
Obliviate has become Mal's favorite spell, though River hates when Sirius uses it and won't speak to him afterward.
"You take the memories, and it's like taking away pieces of their souls," she says. "Take enough memories away and nothing's left of who they are, who they used to be. It isn't right."
He spends a few nights as a dog after that, avoiding the nightmares of who he is, and who he used to be.
He no longer finds Zoe sleeping on the couch, and he gets the feeling that even if he did, he's no longer welcome to curl up at her feet. He's a little surprised that it hurts.
The Cortex provides no information on the war with Voldemort, or anything related to wizards, really, and Sirius mutters vehement imprecations against the International Statute of Secrecy and the hidebound ways of pureblood wizards. He tells himself no news is good news, but he has never believed it. The war he gave his life -- and everything else -- for has been over for five hundred years and he still doesn't know how it turned out. And he doesn't know if he ever will. Whenever they land for more than a few hours, Sirius takes off into the nearest town, trying to track down whatever wizarding community is left in this strange new universe.
He never finds anything.
"You're handling this whole thing pretty well," Simon says to him as they restock the infirmary after a supply run. Work has been relatively steady, if not always lucrative, though from what Sirius can tell, this is not always the case for the crew of Serenity. "I, well, I'm still not very good at being a fugitive."
Sirius gives a bark of laughter. "I've had a lot of practice."
"But you still think you can get home." The captain carries in one last box of supplies and sets it down on the counter. River follows him, wandering the small room, trailing her hands over the equipment.
"Got here, didn't I?"
"You surely did, though you still haven't told exactly how you managed that." Mal looks at him expectantly.
"I was dueling with Bellatrix." He laughs again, ruefully, closes his eyes and remembers. "I was dueling with her -- I'd always been faster, though she always cheated, but after twelve years in Azkaban--" He shakes his head. "Not the duelist I used to be. Anyway. It was so good to be out of the house, to be doing something to help. Fudge was an idiot. He refused to see the danger, and it could have cost us everything. Maybe it did, for all I know. Bella hit me with a stunner and I stumbled and fell through the veil...."
"Are we angels in some brighter dream?" River asks.
"No such thing as angels, little one," Mal replies.
"Serenity gives us wings."
Mal smiles at her, taps her nose. "That she does." But the smile is gone when he turns back to Sirius. "So you fell through this veil and landed on Persephone."
"Yeah. I-- We thought the veil was death, but apparently not."
"The metaphor is faulty," River says.
Sirius doesn't know how to answer that.
*
River sits down with him at the kitchen table one evening, paper and pencils in hand. "If you're going to be here a while, you need to learn some things," she says.
He takes the pencil, slides his fingers over the paper, smoother and whiter than the rolls of parchment he's used to, and lined in pale blue. It reminds him of the Muggle notebooks Lily and Remus used sometimes.
River begins drawing symbols, small and neat. "Níngjìng," she says, tapping the symbols. "That's Serenity."
She makes him repeat it, frowning at his accent.
They do at least an hour of basic Chinese every night; sometimes when he and River get frustrated with each other ("Wo shi zhe li de xue sheng means 'I am a student here,'" she'll say, and Sirius will shake his head. "When am I ever going to need to say that?"), Inara takes over, her voice warm and soothing. She copies out lines of poetry, no more useful than River's basic sentences, but the elegant strokes of her writing remind him of Ancient Runes, of nights spent poring over old textbooks, the scratch of Remus's quill on parchment as they designed the Map.
Soon he is able to ask and answer simple questions, but his accent will likely always be off. He feels like a dog trying to learn English, the words not fitting right on his tongue.
"The words are fine," River says. She spouts a stream of Chinese Sirius can't make heads or tails of.
"Shénme?"
Inara smiles and translates. "A filthy mouth will not utter decent language."
"I think you're confusing me with Jayne."
That sends them all off into the giggles, and when they finally quiet down, Jayne stomps into the kitchen, cursing a blue streak, setting them off again.
Reading and writing come more easily than speaking, years of Ancient Runes paving the way, and the skill comes back fairly quickly, even after so many years of disuse.
He is still avoiding shooting lessons with Zoe, but he is growing more accustomed to this strange new world in which he finds himself. He can't help but be a little excited sometimes when he thinks about it. He is on a spaceship, roaming the galaxy with smugglers and thieves, and that will never stop being cool.
*
He occasionally stands on the bridge, stares out at the stars, vast and unfamiliar from here. Every moon in every phase makes him think of Remus, and he wonders if Serenity would hold the cure for his curse, or just make it even more unbearable.
He still curls up as a dog and sleeps on the couch some nights, though the women complain about the shedding.
One night, he is settling down in the common area -- on the rug, after a stern talking-to from Inara about the inappropriateness of dog hair on silk -- when Zoe comes in. They stop and stare at each other for a moment, and when she turns to go, he transforms.
"It's okay," he says. "I'll just--" He jerks his head toward the door, hoping she'll stop him. She doesn't.
"You were more lovable as a dog."
He laughs. "I get that a lot."
He can feel her gaze on him as he walks away, his step lighter than it was before.
The light is on in River's bunk as he passes, and she calls to him, waving excitedly. She shoves a sheaf of papers into his hand. He looks down and--
"Bloody hell, River, where did you learn Arithmancy?"
"Physics, mathematics," she says. "Looks like magic from far away."
"Looks like magic up close, too. Though I'm not sure--" The equations twist in unfamiliar ways, and she snatches the pages back before he can figure them out.
"Me, neither," she says, pursing her lips. "Need more time."
"You--"
"Not now," she says. "Not yet. But soon. I think."
He dreams of Remus that night, human under the light of a full moon.
*
"We don't have to do this if you don't want to," the captain says.
River shakes her head, her hair coming loose from the shiny butterfly clips Inara threaded through it earlier. "It's okay, really."
"We ain't gonna run into anyone you know?" He turns to Simon. "Or you?"
Simon shrugs. "The Leungs are acquaintances of our parents, but they weren't close, that I recall. They might remember me, but not River."
"Okay."
"Your parents live here?" Sirius asks softly. Simon nods. "Are you going to see them?"
"No. They'd just let River be taken away again."
"Oh."
Simon laughs mirthlessly. "Yes."
River says the job is on the level, nothing to do with her and Simon at all, and Mal doesn't need convincing beyond that.
Things go pear-shaped, which shouldn't be surprising, given how often it seems to happen to them, and Sirius gets turned around as he runs, body slipping from man to dog-shape in order to elude the feds. He is stumbling down a side street, heading for the docks, when it happens -- a whispered, "Lumos," and the pale blue flare of light at the end of a wand.
He turns awkwardly, follows the light, skidding to a halt in front of a shabby shop with a peeling sign that says, "Willoughby Wands."
He transforms and pushes his way into the shop, heart in his throat and questions on his lips.
*
"We were just about to mount a rescue party," Mal says when Sirius Apparates back to Serenity.
"I'm sure River would have figured out how to re-enlarge the case eventually," he says, tapping the jewelry box that had been the object of their burglary with his wand. She's the most magical Muggle he's ever met.
Mal gives him an odd look, but says nothing.
After he washes up, he grabs a jug of Kaylee's engine-brewed moonshine, sits down at the kitchen table and pours himself a cup.
"God, that's awful," he says after the first gulp. "Tastes like a potion James and I made once, to make ourselves invisible."
"Did it?" Jayne asks, pouring himself a drink.
"Nah. Made us sick. Think Lily gave us the directions wrong on purpose, so she could laugh at our failure. Daft girl. She had an odd sense of humor. Or it's possible Moony was involved. He was always crap at potions." He raises his cup. "Cheers." They clink their mugs and drink.
"Well, this won't make you invisible, but it might make you blind," Jayne says. Sirius likes him a lot better after a few drinks.
"Blind drunk, at least."
Sirius isn't sure how many drinks he's had when the captain joins them. "This is how you respond to being chased," Mal says, "I can't rightly understand how you managed not to get caught for two years."
Sirius shakes his head, which makes him a little dizzy. "Not drinking because of that," he says slowly, making sure to pronounce every word clearly. "Finally found some wizards."
"Oh." Mal tips some liquor into his own cup, grimaces when he drinks it. "You could've stayed."
"No. No. You don't understand. The idiots, they bollocksed it all up, Mal. Hidebound dunderheads too wrapped up in tradition to save their own arses. Refused to leave when everyone else did. Probably glad to be rid of the Muggles. Good riddance to bad rubbish and all that. Wankers, the lot of them."
"You mean to say," Jayne says, "your people just refused to leave, even them as could?"
"Even them as could," Sirius repeats dully. "Only a handful chose to join the exodus -- Muggle-borns, mostly. Willoughby -- the old bloke I met today -- says there aren't many of us left now. Small pockets here and there -- Osiris, Paquin, New Canaan. He said there was a whole village on Shadow, but it's all gone now. Something to do with the war." He refills his cup, trying to keep his hand steady, and then lifts it. "To the dead."
Mal and Jayne echo the toast.
Later, Mal walks him back to his bunk, a solid weight beneath his arm when everything else feels like it's floating away.
"You turn off the gravity?" he asks.
"No, you just drank your weight in moonshine." Mal smiles, and up close, his eyes are blue and bright.
Sirius leans against him, pushing him to the wall. Mal sidesteps him, but Sirius clutches at him.
"Captain. Mal--"
"Nothing personal. I ain't inclined in your direction, is all." Mal pats him on the shoulder awkwardly. "You need to sleep it off. You'll thank me in the morning."
Sirius wakes with a groan, all of his insides sloshing about as he rolls over. He lies there with a pillow over his head for a little while, until the pressure in his bladder is too painful to ignore. After he's answered the call of nature, he shambles to the kitchen, squinting against even the low light of Serenity's corridors, desperate for a cup of tea. He's sure if he has tea, the pounding in his head will stop, or at least subside to a bearable level, and he'll be able to banish his hangover with a spell.
Mal sits at the kitchen table, eyeing him with amusement. "Feeling all right, there?"
Sirius winces. "Sorry about," he waves a hand airily, "everything."
Mal smirks and shakes his head. "Drunks and dogs'll hump anything, they get lonely enough. Don't mean a thing."
Sirius's ears burn, but Mal doesn't mention it again.
*
Sirius is spotting Jayne when River comes rushing into the cargo hold, papers in hand, flapping like ink-stained wings.
"Look," she says, thrusting them at him. "An anomaly in the space-time continuum -- a door that only goes one way. Things pass through, don't come out the other side. They must go somewhere -- nothing gained or lost in a closed system, only changed."
Sirius takes the pages, shuffles through them, only half-understanding the equations River has written, which twist and curl around each other like snakes in black ink. There is a star chart, as well; he's always enjoyed astronomy, and he's become more familiar with this quadrant of space, free as it is from reminders of his family, but he doesn't recognize the sector River has mapped out, except for two words underlined in thick black strokes: Godric's Hollow.
His mouth is dry and he has to swallow before he can ask, "Where?"
"Where do you think they keep the secrets?" She grins at him and he can't help but grin back, her manic energy a reminder of his younger days. She pokes at the system around which all her other notes revolve. "Shadow knows."
*
"I have a bad feeling about this," Sirius says. "We should have asked Mal."
"Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission," River replies. "He can't go back; Serenity's home now. But you--" She shrugs. "No guarantee it will work. You could end up back on Persephone."
"I'll wave you if that happens, and you can come pick me up."
"I didn't realize we were dropping you off," Mal says, and Sirius turns, schooling his face to blankness.
"River thinks she's found a way to send me home."
Mal stares out the windscreen for a moment, stars reflected in his eyes, and then leans over River's shoulder to look at the console, anger replacing curiosity on his face.
"No. Absolutely not," he says. "Turn around now."
River simply says, "No."
"River, I thought you and me had an understanding. I'm the captain, and while you're flying my boat, you do what I say."
"Yes," she says, "but you'd never have agreed. Sirius needs to go home, and this is his best chance."
"This is a gorram mutiny, is what this is."
"Only technically." She swivels around to smile at him, but he doesn't soften. She hands him her notes and he flips through them, frowning.
"I realize this is unusual," Sirius starts, but Mal holds up a hand.
"Bèn dàn. I don't want to hear a word from you." He finishes flipping through River's notes, crosses his arms over his chest, and looks down at her. "I suppose you're set on this?"
"He doesn't belong here," River says. "He's left a black hole in their lives, and maybe we can send him back, fill it. Nature abhors a vacuum." She glances over at the empty pilot's seat for a moment, then back at Mal.
"Fine. I don't know why I bother. Should just make you captain and be done with it."
"Doesn't work that way, Captain."
"One day, I'm gonna win an argument with you."
River beams at him. "One day, maybe I'll let you."
*
Shadow is a ghost world, nothing left but ash and wreckage, and the bones of the dead. Mal refuses to land on the surface, sends Sirius down with Zoe at the helm of the second shuttle. The goodbyes are muted, as if none of them believe this will really work, but nobody wants to come out and say it, Sirius least of all.
When they land, Sirius shoulders the bag they've given him, with coin and food and a change of clothes, so he's taken care of wherever he ends up, and turns to say goodbye to Zoe.
"You're a good dog," she says. "And not a bad man."
"Bloody hell, Zoe, don't go getting sentimental on me," he answers, pulling her into a one-armed hug. She stays stiff in the circle of his arm, but pats him on the shoulder twice.
"Xiâoxin," she says. "Good luck."
The arch stands on a barren plain, tattered black cloth fluttering, though there is no breeze to speak of, and the humid air is thick with dust. He doesn't look back, keeps his eyes focused on the veil, his mind focused on Harry, Remus, home.
Sirius steps through the archway, and falls.
end
***
Qingwa cào de liúmáng = frog-humping sumbitch
Hâo ba = okay (reluctant)
Nimen dou bì zuî! = everybody shut up!
mâshàng = on the double
Wo shi zhe li de xue sheng = I am a student here.
Shénme? = what?
bèn dàn = [you] idiot
xiâoxin = [be] careful
***
Note: "Angels in some brighter dream" is a paraphrase of a line from Beyond the Veil by Henry Vaughan
***
I'd really love to know what you think. Feedback is shiny!
Author: victoria p. [victoria @ unfitforsociety.net]
Summary: "You're a long, long way from home, but you're a good dog."
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Jo's and Joss's.
Archive: Achromatic.
Feedback: is love
Notes: There are many people who deserve blame for this, too many to list, really. I'd like to thank luzdeestrellas for betaing -- she really made this a much better story than it was -- and thanks also to mousapelli, hwmitzy, angelgazing, and leadensky for letting me spam them with bits of this on AIM, and rageprufrock for helping me when I had a bit of a spazz attack about the Chinese. All errors are mine alone.
Word count: 5,905
Date: January 23, 2006
~*~
A Million Light Years from Home
The girl smells of engine grease that hasn't been completely washed off, familiar from long afternoons he'd spent tinkering with his motorbike. She bends to pet him and he thumps his tail, nearly purring in bliss when she scratches behind his ears. She tells him he's a good boy and she lets him eat the rest of her food, which he fervently hopes isn't some distant canine relative, out of her hand. As she shops, he follows her through the market, licking her fingers and pressing close to her side. He thinks he may have found someone who will take him home and explain to him where the hell he is, because even though it sounds and smells like Chinatown, he's not in London any longer. He doesn't know where he is -- the stars aren't right, and the Muggle cars all have levitation charms on them, and there's no scent of magic in the air or feel of it in the earth.
He follows her all the way to the docks, to these strange Muggle aeroplanes that don't look like they should be able to fly -- to one that appears even older and ganglier than the rest.
Another girl -- dark-haired, barefoot -- comes running out and flings her arms around his neck as if they are old friends. She smells of apples and illness, like Remus on mornings after the full moon, and she giggles when he licks her face.
"Kaylee, you finish the shop-- No. Absolutely not." Sirius barks and thumps his tail again; he turns to look, knowing the voice of authority when he hears it. The man is tall and blue-eyed, handsome in a rough, haggard way that also reminds him of Remus, with lines of care worn around his mouth and dark shadows under his eyes. Sirius doesn't think he'll be as easy to charm as Remus used to be.
"He's a good boy, Cap'n, really," Kaylee wheedles. "He wouldn't be no trouble."
"Kaylee, he's the size of a small horse. We don't got the room, nor the money to feed him. A dog needs to run free, not be cooped up in a spaceship."
Spaceship? He peers around the girl, trying to get a good look at the inside of the ship. It doesn't look anything the spaceships he remembers from the Muggle films Lily used to drag them to, but then, this doesn't look like any future he's imagined, either, if it is in fact the future and not some mad dream inspired by Dementors or Grimmauld Place or something. Sometimes he worries he's dreaming everything, that he's still back in Azkaban and he's finally gone mad. Then he remembers Harry and Remus, the night at the Shrieking Shack and the battle at the Department of Mysteries, and he knows he's not.
"Not free," the other girl says, as if she knows what he's thinking. "Not free for a long time." She gathers her skirt and kneels in the dust in front of him, runs her hand over his muzzle. "Just like me."
"River." Another man comes barreling out of the spaceship, younger than the captain. "Come back inside."
The girl -- River -- makes a face and says, "Brothers," in a tone he might have once used himself, and rubs her nose against his fur. He licks her face again in response, because put-upon siblings should stick together. She pets him one more time and then rises, following her brother away.
Kaylee lingers until the captain yells, "Kaylee, ain't you got work to be doing?" She gives him one last apologetic scratch behind his ears and hurries up the gangplank, looking back over her shoulders with teary eyes.
He watches the door close behind her, then lets himself become a man again. He closes his eyes in concentration, focusing on what he's seen of the inside of the ship as they were loading it, and with a soft pop, he Apparates.
*
He takes up less space as a man, but the deck plates are cold and it's warmer as a dog, so he curls up in the shadows and waits.
The ship shudders as the engines roar, and it's nothing like flying on his motorbike or broom -- no wind in his hair, no sights to see. He rests his head on his paws, wondering if he's made the right choice.
He dozes fitfully, and wakes, surprised, when River slips into his nook with a bowl of water. He's fairly certain no one saw him Apparate onto the ship, but she knows exactly where he's hiding, seems to expect to find him there. He drinks gratefully and then rests his head in her lap.
"You're a long way from home, aren't you?" she says. "And not what you seem." He whines softly, again surprised at how much she seems to know. "Captain's not going to be happy to see you, but he'll come around." She pulls some dumplings out of her pocket and he eats them, then licks her fingers.
He's able to stay hidden that night, exploring the ship when everyone else goes to sleep. There's a woman sleeping on the sofa in the lounge, and he tucks the blanket around her more securely as he passes through. He finds the passenger rooms, and is tempted to stay human, sleep in a bed for the first time in a week, but after he uses the facilities, he melts back into dog form, back into the shadows of the cavernous cargo bay.
Kaylee finds him the next morning. She manages to stifle her squeal of happiness and bring him some food and water for breakfast, which he eats with gusto. He's thinking he could get used to this life, being hand-fed by beautiful girls as he flies through the air, when the captain's voice rings out, his boots clanging on the metal stairs.
"Kaylee! Gorrammit, where are you? I got check engine lights flashing on the console and-- Qingwa cào de liúmáng. What the rutting hell is that gorram dog doing on my boat? Did I not tell you--"
"I didn't," she says. She doesn't sound or smell scared, so Sirius isn't too worried. "He was just here this morning. Must've followed me on board when I wasn't looking."
Sirius sits still and tries to look adorable and harmless. The captain doesn't look like he's buying it.
River comes running down the stairs behind the captain. "He needs our help," she says. "Can't throw him out now."
"I told you he wouldn't be no trouble," Kaylee adds. "He was quiet enough you didn't even know he was on board till you seen him."
The captain looks from one girl to the other and shakes his head. "Hâo ba, but you two are responsible for him. I ain't feeding him and I for damn sure ain't cleaning up after him." He walks back up the stairs, muttering in Chinese. At the top he turns back and yells, "And we're dropping him off on Santo."
"Yes sir," Kaylee calls up to him, laughter in her voice. Sirius licks her hand again in gratitude.
*
He spends most of his time with Kaylee, curled up in the engine room, or with River when she's not flying the ship. She talks to him like he's human, like she knows he's human, and though there's still no scent of magic about her, he wonders if she's a Legilimens. Muggles have all sorts of legends about mind-readers and telepaths, and while he knows most of them are exactly that, it's possible there's something more to it. He's seen stranger things.
He avoids the others, tries to keep out of the way, hoping the captain will let him stay on if he isn't any trouble. He listens, trying to learn more about where he is, how he can get home, but mostly they talk about something called the Alliance, and how it makes life hard for them. He hears Mal and Inara argue over her returning to work, and sees Kaylee and Simon slip off together for a shag. River chatters about flying and physics and dancing, Jayne about hunting and whores and guns. Zoe doesn't talk at all.
He finds her sleeping in the lounge some nights, and he curls up at her feet, offering the comfort his instincts tell him she needs and will never take. In the morning, she puts a hand on his head, runs her fingers through his fur for a brief moment, and then walks away.
He still has his wand, but it's not much use when he's a dog, and the only thing he uses it for when he transforms back is to light his way through the ship once everyone else is asleep, and to heat his nightly cup of tea. He hasn't chanced any other spells; he doesn't want to risk being forced to leave before they reach Santo. He's not sure how -- if -- Apparition works in outer space.
He stays in the common area during meals. The captain doesn't like him begging for table scraps, and River always makes sure he gets fed, but he likes listening to them talk at dinner. They remind him of the Weasleys -- a fractious family, but a caring one. There are empty places at the table and he'd like to know more about them, but he can't ask, and so far River hasn't volunteered that information.
He's dozing after dinner that night when Zoe asks Kaylee, "What's his name?"
"Dog," River answers before Kaylee can speak.
"Ain't that creative," Jayne mutters and Mal shoots him a look.
"His mother named him," River says, "named and loved and hated. Her bright star, fallen."
Sirius whines and thumps his tail against the deck.
"So he's a dog and a star?" the captain asks. His patience with River reminds Sirius of Remus, makes him like the man better than he ordinarily would; the fact that he can make sense of her -- that he even tries -- when the others can't is impressive.
"We are all made of stars," River replies.
The captain toasts her with his mug, smiling. "You do got a shine to you, little one."
"So what do we call the dog?" Jayne presses, impatient with the captain's indulgence of River's nonsense.
"I do believe River's answered the question, Jayne."
"Sirius." River smiles.
Jayne doesn't. "I am serious."
"Sirius is a white main sequence star, Alpha Canis Majoris, approximately eight point seven light years from Earth-that-was," River says, snapping from cryptic to clinical in a heartbeat. "The dog star."
Sirius barks in encouragement. He's still not sure what they mean by "Earth-that-was," though he has an idea that makes him queasy when he thinks about it too much. The only books he's seen on board have been in Inara's shuttle, where he is not allowed, though he's sneaked in once or twice; it smells like the head shop he used to frequent when he lived in London. The books -- the ones in English, anyway -- haven't told him anything he wants to know, except that it's about five hundred years later than it was two weeks ago, when he rushed to the Ministry to help Harry. He's trying not to think about that.
The captain stands. "Okay then. Don't see as how it matters much when he'll be leaving us tomorrow," Kaylee and River both protest but he talks over them, "but Sirius it is."
*
Later that night, he's enjoying what may be his last cup of tea for a long while (he thinks maybe Kaylee and River will convince the captain to let him stay, but he's not counting on it), when he hears the heavy tread of boots on the deck plates. Before he has the chance to transform or draw his wand, there is a sound like a firecracker and a sharp pain in his shoulder. Sirius drops the mug, vaguely aware of tea splashing on the counter, and turns to see the captain, gun in hand. River has hold of his arm.
"River, what the hell--" Mal says, trying to shake free from her grip.
"He doesn't mean us any harm. He's a good dog," River says, still clutching Mal's arm. "You don't put a good dog down."
The rest of the crew appears in the kitchen in various states of undress. Zoe and Jayne train their guns on Sirius, and he thinks he may not be able to talk himself out of this.
Simon goes immediately to River. "Are you all right?"
"I'm the one who's just been shot," Sirius says, clutching at the wound in his shoulder.
The captain rolls his eyes. "And I'll do it again, you don't start talking, mâshàng."
"River's right." Sirius sags against the counter. "I'm the dog." It takes all his concentration, but he closes his eyes and lets his body change, ignoring the sharp pain in his shoulder. He tells himself it's nothing compared to what Remus has gone through every month for the past thirty years. When he changes back into human form, the room gives a lurch, and he thinks maybe the demonstration of his abilities was a bad idea.
They are all yelling at him in a cacophony of English and Chinese, until the captain shouts, "Nimen dou bì zuî!" He turns to Sirius. "Now, howsabout you do some explaining 'bout why you're on my boat, tell me why I shouldn't riddle you with holes and toss your worthless carcass out the airlock?"
Sirius takes a deep breath and slides his wand into his hand, blood making it slippery in his grip. "Magic," he starts, but his vision goes yellow at the edges, and the floor rushes up to meet him.
He comes to in the infirmary, feeling a little woozy. He peeks through his lashes to see the lot of them spilling out of the doorway as they argue. Mal and Zoe still have their guns out. Zoe eyes him warily but stays quiet as the others talk.
"Ain't no such thing as magic," Mal is saying. "That's crazy talk."
"He turns into a dog, Mal. I seen it. Hell, you seen it." Jayne's hand never leaves his gun. "Can you turn into a dog?"
"River turned into Serenity once," Kaylee points out.
River slips into the room, putting herself between Sirius and the captain. "But not really."
"Well, no," Kaylee concedes.
"River, please," Simon says, guiding her back out. Then he turns and glares at the captain. "There isn't enough room in here for all of you and your guns."
"I'll stay." Zoe's tone brooks no argument, though the captain looks like he wants to give her one.
"No, no, that's quite all right." Sirius pushes himself up on his elbows, then regrets it when his shoulder twinges, even through the haze of whatever pain potion they've given him. "I'm no danger to you, really. I just want to get home."
"Home?" the captain asks. "And just where might that be?"
"London."
"You can get transport to Londinium from Santo."
"He doesn't mean Londinium," River says. "He means London. On Earth-that-was."
Sirius nods. "About that, um, can someone tell me what happened? I gather it wasn't good. I just--"
"And I still haven't heard a good reason for me not to put you out the airlock."
"I can be of use, Captain. I--"
"Ain't no such thing as magic, and I don't deal with them as traffics in the kinds of trickery you seem to be engaging in."
"You live on a spaceship." He glances at River. "With a mind-reader. I don't think you should dismiss me so quickly."
The captain grabs his shirt, pulls him up and gets right in his face, even less friendly than he'd been before. "What do you know about River?"
"She knew I was human. She knew my name."
Simon says, "River?"
"Sirius Black, you're a long, long way from home," she says, uncurling the captain's fingers and smoothing Sirius's shirt, "but you're a good dog."
*
It's a different life from what he's used to, but not a bad one. Hexes and jinxes work as well as guns on the kinds of jobs they pull, "though it wouldn't hurt if you knew how to use a gun, 'specially if your magic stick gets broke," Mal tells him, and he nods but keeps putting the lessons off. The thought of being alone with Zoe and her shotgun sends a shiver down his spine.
He still spends most of his time with River and Kaylee, trying to be helpful where he can. Kaylee gives him a rough sketch of each crewmember's background, but when he presses for information about River, she clams up. The others all look tense when he asks -- Mal goes white around the mouth, Zoe's eyes harden, and Jayne's hand rests on the butt of his gun -- and change the subject.
"Ask the right questions, maybe you'll get the right answer," River says. "Simon saved me." She cocks her head, brow furrowed in concentration. "You couldn't save your brother. You didn't even try."
He'd had to tell them an abridged story of his life -- hit the high points, anyway -- before Mal would let him stay onboard, but hadn't mentioned Regulus at all.
"Maybe he wasn't worth saving."
"Does that make you feel better?"
He doesn't say anything. Regulus wasn't the only brother he'd failed, just the first one.
River shakes her head. "Didn't think so."
After that, he doesn't ask about what happened to her.
Jayne doesn't know quite what to make of him and Sirius is fine keeping his distance. Simon is fascinated by his store of healing spells and herb lore, and they work together sometimes, because, as Mal puts it, "some of our jobs are more interesting than others," though judicious use of stupefy, stunning spells, and full body-binds has helped somewhat at keeping injuries to the crew at bay.
The captain and Zoe both are wary, though once he proves himself on the job, Mal warms to him slightly; the fact that River vouches for him seems to carry more weight than Sirius would expect, but then again, she is a Legilimens, no matter what they call it, and Sirius has always been shit at Occlumency. He doesn't like having his mind open to the girl like a raw wound, but he can't always help it. She seems to understand, far better than anyone her age should have to.
Obliviate has become Mal's favorite spell, though River hates when Sirius uses it and won't speak to him afterward.
"You take the memories, and it's like taking away pieces of their souls," she says. "Take enough memories away and nothing's left of who they are, who they used to be. It isn't right."
He spends a few nights as a dog after that, avoiding the nightmares of who he is, and who he used to be.
He no longer finds Zoe sleeping on the couch, and he gets the feeling that even if he did, he's no longer welcome to curl up at her feet. He's a little surprised that it hurts.
The Cortex provides no information on the war with Voldemort, or anything related to wizards, really, and Sirius mutters vehement imprecations against the International Statute of Secrecy and the hidebound ways of pureblood wizards. He tells himself no news is good news, but he has never believed it. The war he gave his life -- and everything else -- for has been over for five hundred years and he still doesn't know how it turned out. And he doesn't know if he ever will. Whenever they land for more than a few hours, Sirius takes off into the nearest town, trying to track down whatever wizarding community is left in this strange new universe.
He never finds anything.
"You're handling this whole thing pretty well," Simon says to him as they restock the infirmary after a supply run. Work has been relatively steady, if not always lucrative, though from what Sirius can tell, this is not always the case for the crew of Serenity. "I, well, I'm still not very good at being a fugitive."
Sirius gives a bark of laughter. "I've had a lot of practice."
"But you still think you can get home." The captain carries in one last box of supplies and sets it down on the counter. River follows him, wandering the small room, trailing her hands over the equipment.
"Got here, didn't I?"
"You surely did, though you still haven't told exactly how you managed that." Mal looks at him expectantly.
"I was dueling with Bellatrix." He laughs again, ruefully, closes his eyes and remembers. "I was dueling with her -- I'd always been faster, though she always cheated, but after twelve years in Azkaban--" He shakes his head. "Not the duelist I used to be. Anyway. It was so good to be out of the house, to be doing something to help. Fudge was an idiot. He refused to see the danger, and it could have cost us everything. Maybe it did, for all I know. Bella hit me with a stunner and I stumbled and fell through the veil...."
"Are we angels in some brighter dream?" River asks.
"No such thing as angels, little one," Mal replies.
"Serenity gives us wings."
Mal smiles at her, taps her nose. "That she does." But the smile is gone when he turns back to Sirius. "So you fell through this veil and landed on Persephone."
"Yeah. I-- We thought the veil was death, but apparently not."
"The metaphor is faulty," River says.
Sirius doesn't know how to answer that.
*
River sits down with him at the kitchen table one evening, paper and pencils in hand. "If you're going to be here a while, you need to learn some things," she says.
He takes the pencil, slides his fingers over the paper, smoother and whiter than the rolls of parchment he's used to, and lined in pale blue. It reminds him of the Muggle notebooks Lily and Remus used sometimes.
River begins drawing symbols, small and neat. "Níngjìng," she says, tapping the symbols. "That's Serenity."
She makes him repeat it, frowning at his accent.
They do at least an hour of basic Chinese every night; sometimes when he and River get frustrated with each other ("Wo shi zhe li de xue sheng means 'I am a student here,'" she'll say, and Sirius will shake his head. "When am I ever going to need to say that?"), Inara takes over, her voice warm and soothing. She copies out lines of poetry, no more useful than River's basic sentences, but the elegant strokes of her writing remind him of Ancient Runes, of nights spent poring over old textbooks, the scratch of Remus's quill on parchment as they designed the Map.
Soon he is able to ask and answer simple questions, but his accent will likely always be off. He feels like a dog trying to learn English, the words not fitting right on his tongue.
"The words are fine," River says. She spouts a stream of Chinese Sirius can't make heads or tails of.
"Shénme?"
Inara smiles and translates. "A filthy mouth will not utter decent language."
"I think you're confusing me with Jayne."
That sends them all off into the giggles, and when they finally quiet down, Jayne stomps into the kitchen, cursing a blue streak, setting them off again.
Reading and writing come more easily than speaking, years of Ancient Runes paving the way, and the skill comes back fairly quickly, even after so many years of disuse.
He is still avoiding shooting lessons with Zoe, but he is growing more accustomed to this strange new world in which he finds himself. He can't help but be a little excited sometimes when he thinks about it. He is on a spaceship, roaming the galaxy with smugglers and thieves, and that will never stop being cool.
*
He occasionally stands on the bridge, stares out at the stars, vast and unfamiliar from here. Every moon in every phase makes him think of Remus, and he wonders if Serenity would hold the cure for his curse, or just make it even more unbearable.
He still curls up as a dog and sleeps on the couch some nights, though the women complain about the shedding.
One night, he is settling down in the common area -- on the rug, after a stern talking-to from Inara about the inappropriateness of dog hair on silk -- when Zoe comes in. They stop and stare at each other for a moment, and when she turns to go, he transforms.
"It's okay," he says. "I'll just--" He jerks his head toward the door, hoping she'll stop him. She doesn't.
"You were more lovable as a dog."
He laughs. "I get that a lot."
He can feel her gaze on him as he walks away, his step lighter than it was before.
The light is on in River's bunk as he passes, and she calls to him, waving excitedly. She shoves a sheaf of papers into his hand. He looks down and--
"Bloody hell, River, where did you learn Arithmancy?"
"Physics, mathematics," she says. "Looks like magic from far away."
"Looks like magic up close, too. Though I'm not sure--" The equations twist in unfamiliar ways, and she snatches the pages back before he can figure them out.
"Me, neither," she says, pursing her lips. "Need more time."
"You--"
"Not now," she says. "Not yet. But soon. I think."
He dreams of Remus that night, human under the light of a full moon.
*
"We don't have to do this if you don't want to," the captain says.
River shakes her head, her hair coming loose from the shiny butterfly clips Inara threaded through it earlier. "It's okay, really."
"We ain't gonna run into anyone you know?" He turns to Simon. "Or you?"
Simon shrugs. "The Leungs are acquaintances of our parents, but they weren't close, that I recall. They might remember me, but not River."
"Okay."
"Your parents live here?" Sirius asks softly. Simon nods. "Are you going to see them?"
"No. They'd just let River be taken away again."
"Oh."
Simon laughs mirthlessly. "Yes."
River says the job is on the level, nothing to do with her and Simon at all, and Mal doesn't need convincing beyond that.
Things go pear-shaped, which shouldn't be surprising, given how often it seems to happen to them, and Sirius gets turned around as he runs, body slipping from man to dog-shape in order to elude the feds. He is stumbling down a side street, heading for the docks, when it happens -- a whispered, "Lumos," and the pale blue flare of light at the end of a wand.
He turns awkwardly, follows the light, skidding to a halt in front of a shabby shop with a peeling sign that says, "Willoughby Wands."
He transforms and pushes his way into the shop, heart in his throat and questions on his lips.
*
"We were just about to mount a rescue party," Mal says when Sirius Apparates back to Serenity.
"I'm sure River would have figured out how to re-enlarge the case eventually," he says, tapping the jewelry box that had been the object of their burglary with his wand. She's the most magical Muggle he's ever met.
Mal gives him an odd look, but says nothing.
After he washes up, he grabs a jug of Kaylee's engine-brewed moonshine, sits down at the kitchen table and pours himself a cup.
"God, that's awful," he says after the first gulp. "Tastes like a potion James and I made once, to make ourselves invisible."
"Did it?" Jayne asks, pouring himself a drink.
"Nah. Made us sick. Think Lily gave us the directions wrong on purpose, so she could laugh at our failure. Daft girl. She had an odd sense of humor. Or it's possible Moony was involved. He was always crap at potions." He raises his cup. "Cheers." They clink their mugs and drink.
"Well, this won't make you invisible, but it might make you blind," Jayne says. Sirius likes him a lot better after a few drinks.
"Blind drunk, at least."
Sirius isn't sure how many drinks he's had when the captain joins them. "This is how you respond to being chased," Mal says, "I can't rightly understand how you managed not to get caught for two years."
Sirius shakes his head, which makes him a little dizzy. "Not drinking because of that," he says slowly, making sure to pronounce every word clearly. "Finally found some wizards."
"Oh." Mal tips some liquor into his own cup, grimaces when he drinks it. "You could've stayed."
"No. No. You don't understand. The idiots, they bollocksed it all up, Mal. Hidebound dunderheads too wrapped up in tradition to save their own arses. Refused to leave when everyone else did. Probably glad to be rid of the Muggles. Good riddance to bad rubbish and all that. Wankers, the lot of them."
"You mean to say," Jayne says, "your people just refused to leave, even them as could?"
"Even them as could," Sirius repeats dully. "Only a handful chose to join the exodus -- Muggle-borns, mostly. Willoughby -- the old bloke I met today -- says there aren't many of us left now. Small pockets here and there -- Osiris, Paquin, New Canaan. He said there was a whole village on Shadow, but it's all gone now. Something to do with the war." He refills his cup, trying to keep his hand steady, and then lifts it. "To the dead."
Mal and Jayne echo the toast.
Later, Mal walks him back to his bunk, a solid weight beneath his arm when everything else feels like it's floating away.
"You turn off the gravity?" he asks.
"No, you just drank your weight in moonshine." Mal smiles, and up close, his eyes are blue and bright.
Sirius leans against him, pushing him to the wall. Mal sidesteps him, but Sirius clutches at him.
"Captain. Mal--"
"Nothing personal. I ain't inclined in your direction, is all." Mal pats him on the shoulder awkwardly. "You need to sleep it off. You'll thank me in the morning."
Sirius wakes with a groan, all of his insides sloshing about as he rolls over. He lies there with a pillow over his head for a little while, until the pressure in his bladder is too painful to ignore. After he's answered the call of nature, he shambles to the kitchen, squinting against even the low light of Serenity's corridors, desperate for a cup of tea. He's sure if he has tea, the pounding in his head will stop, or at least subside to a bearable level, and he'll be able to banish his hangover with a spell.
Mal sits at the kitchen table, eyeing him with amusement. "Feeling all right, there?"
Sirius winces. "Sorry about," he waves a hand airily, "everything."
Mal smirks and shakes his head. "Drunks and dogs'll hump anything, they get lonely enough. Don't mean a thing."
Sirius's ears burn, but Mal doesn't mention it again.
*
Sirius is spotting Jayne when River comes rushing into the cargo hold, papers in hand, flapping like ink-stained wings.
"Look," she says, thrusting them at him. "An anomaly in the space-time continuum -- a door that only goes one way. Things pass through, don't come out the other side. They must go somewhere -- nothing gained or lost in a closed system, only changed."
Sirius takes the pages, shuffles through them, only half-understanding the equations River has written, which twist and curl around each other like snakes in black ink. There is a star chart, as well; he's always enjoyed astronomy, and he's become more familiar with this quadrant of space, free as it is from reminders of his family, but he doesn't recognize the sector River has mapped out, except for two words underlined in thick black strokes: Godric's Hollow.
His mouth is dry and he has to swallow before he can ask, "Where?"
"Where do you think they keep the secrets?" She grins at him and he can't help but grin back, her manic energy a reminder of his younger days. She pokes at the system around which all her other notes revolve. "Shadow knows."
*
"I have a bad feeling about this," Sirius says. "We should have asked Mal."
"Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission," River replies. "He can't go back; Serenity's home now. But you--" She shrugs. "No guarantee it will work. You could end up back on Persephone."
"I'll wave you if that happens, and you can come pick me up."
"I didn't realize we were dropping you off," Mal says, and Sirius turns, schooling his face to blankness.
"River thinks she's found a way to send me home."
Mal stares out the windscreen for a moment, stars reflected in his eyes, and then leans over River's shoulder to look at the console, anger replacing curiosity on his face.
"No. Absolutely not," he says. "Turn around now."
River simply says, "No."
"River, I thought you and me had an understanding. I'm the captain, and while you're flying my boat, you do what I say."
"Yes," she says, "but you'd never have agreed. Sirius needs to go home, and this is his best chance."
"This is a gorram mutiny, is what this is."
"Only technically." She swivels around to smile at him, but he doesn't soften. She hands him her notes and he flips through them, frowning.
"I realize this is unusual," Sirius starts, but Mal holds up a hand.
"Bèn dàn. I don't want to hear a word from you." He finishes flipping through River's notes, crosses his arms over his chest, and looks down at her. "I suppose you're set on this?"
"He doesn't belong here," River says. "He's left a black hole in their lives, and maybe we can send him back, fill it. Nature abhors a vacuum." She glances over at the empty pilot's seat for a moment, then back at Mal.
"Fine. I don't know why I bother. Should just make you captain and be done with it."
"Doesn't work that way, Captain."
"One day, I'm gonna win an argument with you."
River beams at him. "One day, maybe I'll let you."
*
Shadow is a ghost world, nothing left but ash and wreckage, and the bones of the dead. Mal refuses to land on the surface, sends Sirius down with Zoe at the helm of the second shuttle. The goodbyes are muted, as if none of them believe this will really work, but nobody wants to come out and say it, Sirius least of all.
When they land, Sirius shoulders the bag they've given him, with coin and food and a change of clothes, so he's taken care of wherever he ends up, and turns to say goodbye to Zoe.
"You're a good dog," she says. "And not a bad man."
"Bloody hell, Zoe, don't go getting sentimental on me," he answers, pulling her into a one-armed hug. She stays stiff in the circle of his arm, but pats him on the shoulder twice.
"Xiâoxin," she says. "Good luck."
The arch stands on a barren plain, tattered black cloth fluttering, though there is no breeze to speak of, and the humid air is thick with dust. He doesn't look back, keeps his eyes focused on the veil, his mind focused on Harry, Remus, home.
Sirius steps through the archway, and falls.
end
***
Qingwa cào de liúmáng = frog-humping sumbitch
Hâo ba = okay (reluctant)
Nimen dou bì zuî! = everybody shut up!
mâshàng = on the double
Wo shi zhe li de xue sheng = I am a student here.
Shénme? = what?
bèn dàn = [you] idiot
xiâoxin = [be] careful
***
Note: "Angels in some brighter dream" is a paraphrase of a line from Beyond the Veil by Henry Vaughan
***
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