I Never Thought I Would - 11
Yunho | Jaejoong
Chaptered
Summary:
Kim JaeJoong and Jung YunHo was arranged to marry each other for the sake of their families business..
It was not hard for Jaejoong to agree because he secretly love YunHo since High school but for Yunho - it was the opposite.. He hated Jaejoong for he was gay. The fact that Yunho was straight and has a girlfriend..
Yunho did things that Jaejoong tolerated at first, but when Yunho crossed the line; he immediately demanded for a divorce. Yunho agreed in one condition - no one will know it except the two of them..
They separated ways and lived the life they want but after two years, they have to meet again..
What will happen to them?
Eleven
Darkness surrounds the room as he held him tightly, their lips moulded to a gentle kiss. Lips moving in synchronization, head angling, tilting to taste each other. Both doesn’t want to pull away from the intoxicating feeling but lack of oxygen forced them to do so. Gasping for air, the younger beautiful man’s eyes were closed, lips parted slightly, cheeks blushing from his elevating body temperature, chest heaving and for the older man, it is the most beautiful sight that he had ever seen. He stared long enough that Jaejoong felt his gaze, slowly he opened his eyes only to have them closed again when the man hovering him started to trail butterfly kisses on his neck, down to his collar bone. The feeling is too good that it scared him. From Yunho’s neck, he moved his hands upward, grasping the soft, dark brown locks with shaky hands.
“y-yunho”.. he moaned breathlessly as he felt him kissed his inner thigh so painfully slowly then stopped as he had reach his weeping erection..
“y-you don’t n-need to - shit!”.. he stuttered then cursed as Yunho took his whole length in his sinful mouth, moving his head up and down giving the most erotic pleasure that Jaejoong ever experienced..
His back arched, as his whole body started to tingle, the feeling was so new, so alien that he wanted the older man to stop..
“s-stop it p-please”.. he whispered that made his whole to froze, his gripped on the other’s man hair loosen that caught the latter’s attention. he stopped with what he was doing and looked at his wife that is staring blankly at the ceiling, with full of concern and confusion.
“Jae what’s wrong?”. he asked as he started to crawl on top of the other when he was stopped as the younger man started to struggle under him.
“s-stop it. Just s-stop”. he kept on chanting with his eyes tightly closed but still, his tears continued to fall..
The older man moved beside the trembling body, he can’t do anything and worst he can’t even comfort the man he loves. he knew the reason behind the sudden behaviour, it was his fault after all.
“i’m sorry”.. Yunho whispered before he stood up carefully from the bed, trying not to make the bed move that can startle the other man who was now lying on his left side, body trembling as he cry, clutching the blanket tightly..
He wore his boxers before he walked towards the bathroom, slowly like he was so weak to move his body even an inch, the moment he stepped inside, he close the door gently and as soon as he heard the familiar click of the door; he collapsed on the floor as tears fell on his handsome face.. the pain and heaviness he’s feeling in his chest is too much for him. he bit his lower lip to conceal his sob, not that he doesn’t want his wife to know that he’s crying, it’s just that he knew by heart that the moment Jaejoong heard him cry, he will get hurt even more.
Yunho knelt on the cold, bathroom floor long enough that he felt numbness on his knees and legs as he cried his heart out. He didn’t know and it never even cross his mind that loving someone would be this hard and painful but at the same time he was happy. He stood up, dragging his body on the bathtub then he hopped on and open the shower. He stood there under the hot water, not minding that his skin starting to hurt and redden..
“why did I do those things to him”.. he whispered as he clutched his both fists that is holding on the wall for support.. he can’t stop crying and no matter how many litres of tears he let out, the pain in his chest will never subside..
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he clutched on the blanket until his knuckles turned white. he felt stupid but he can’t bear to scold himself, he got scared the moment those three words escaped his lips. Why? Because those were the same words he said when he pleaded Yunho to stop when he forced him. he shuddered just by thinking of that.
He felt the bed move and heard the older man’s whisper of apology. He wanted to turn and asked him to stay by his side and embrace him, help him forget the nightmare that happened two days ago, just two days ago.
He love Yunho, there is no doubt about that but he can’t help but to be scared. Each time the older man comes near him, his body starts to tremble with fear that the other will hit him with for no apparent reason but what scared him even more was the warmth he’s feeling when he knew that the man he loves is near him, just by seeing its small, handsome face, his heart jumps with happiness and his logic, turns illogic making all the bad things left forgotten..
He sat on the bed when he heard the shower opened inside the bathroom, he reached for his boxers and a dress shirt that he knew doesn’t belong to him but he wore it still then he plopped himself on the bed again, carelessly. He already stopped from crying, he just stared at the ceiling then closed his eyes, he hoped that even for one day, even for one day, he like to forget all and he and Yunho will just laugh on everything like they were happy, but he knew, that one day will never happen, he gulped unconsciously and he tasted bitter, as bitter as his life..
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The tall man walked out of the bathroom stealthily, wearing black sweat pants and a gray muscle-cut shirt. He saw his wife already sleeping. He smiled knowing that the other had already calmed down. Walking to the bed, he stopped mid-way having second thoughts if it is still appropriate for him to sleep on Jaejoong’s side; well aware that he’s still scared of him. he frowned and after a few seconds, he continued his way on their bed. He sat slowly, then lifted his both legs as he laid on the bed. He covered his self with the blanket, as the turned on his left side.
His wife is sleeping peacefully, breathing calmly. He wanted to touch him but he fight his urged to do so, last thing he wanted to happen is to scare him even more..
“i love you Jaejoong. I’m sorry”.. he whispered lovingly before he turned his back on his wife.
His eyes were starting to hurt again as his tears threatened to fall. He’s hurting again, God knows how he love his wife and he’s ready to repent for everything he does in the past, just to make Jaejoong be happy again. His tears fell at the thought, he wanted to be the one giving the other’s happiness but he knows that it is not possible. He was about to wipe his tears but he froze when; thin, pale arms was wrapped around his torso and warm body was pressed against his back..
“i’m sorry. Don’t cry anymore Yunho”.. he heard him murmur as he felt his back got wet. He felt a tug on his heart, he made him cry again..
He opened his mouth to say something but he stopped when he heard his wife speak, silently. “it hurts to see you cry”.. he stopped as he clutched on Yunho’s shirt even more and buried his face on the other’s lean back.. “i lo -“.. he stopped again as he tried to stop himself from sobbing.. “i-i love you too, so much”.. he finished his sentence that made the older man’s heart flip with happiness..
He would like to turn and face the other man bad the latter stopped him..
“don’t. Just stay like this”.. the younger man said and Yunho kept hoping that Jaejoong would not hear his heart beating crazily..
They stayed in that position for a moment until both of their heartbeat calmed down. Silence were enveloping the whole room, it was already dawn but still, both of them are fully awake..
“Jae?”.. the older man whispered, checking if his wife is already asleep.. he was answered by a groan as the other’s hand clutched tighter on his shirt..
“can i turn to face you now? I wanted to say something”.. he said, trying his luck.. he waited for a few minutes before Jaejoong removed his hand and scooted away from him..
He didn’t just turn, instead he stood up as he lock gaze with the beautiful man then he kneeled beside the bed that made the latter sat up instantly..
“What are yo -“.. the younger wanted to ask but has been cut off when Yunho raised a hand, stopping him..
He took a deep breath before he started to spoke up.. “i’m a fool, a devil, stupid, insane, monster and everything that you know that make bad things”.. he stared at his wife straight to the eye.
“i’d hurt you, a lot. I was blind before Jaejoong, i never listened to what my heart says. I let her control me just to conceal what i truly feel for you”.. he stopped when he saw him frowned at what he said.. “i really do love you and what i wanted to say is tha -“..
“just be straight to the point”.. Jaejoong said coldly that made Yunho more anxious..
“i love you and i’m willing to wait and do everything it takes to earn your trust again even if it takes for eternity”.. he said in a rush but his wife understood it very well. His big doe eyes started to shimmer as it became teary but he still continued to stare at the handsome man that is still kneeling on the cold floor..
“stupid”.. is all he said as he covered his face and cried for the third time.. he really think Yunho was stupid for saying those things but he deny the fact that made him happy and felt special.. the taller wanted to hug him but he was afraid that his wife will flinch at the contact..
“Jaejoong”.. he called still not moving from his spot. He wanted to say more but he can’t express it..
“i-i hate you”.. the smaller man whispered through his hands.. he still feel overwhelmed with the non-sense confession that his husband said but latter’s face fell at what the other said but he needed to be strong, he knew that he had a long way to earn Jaejoong’s trust again..
“i know, that’s why we will start from the very beginning”.. he said confidenty before he stood up and sat on the bed, secretly massaging his knees.. this time the younger man removed his hands from his beautiful face and Yunho had to gather up all the control in his body for him not to devour his wife’s lips that is formed in a cute pout..
“v-very beginning?”.. he asked, very ignorant to what Yunho means by that..
He smiled at him before he answered.. “let’s start being friends Jaejoong”..
“f-friends?”.. he asked again, surprised this time. He was confused. Them? Being friends? After all that happened?
“i want to know you more Jaejoong and i want us to start with restrictions”.. he answered, scratching the back of his neck. he was starting to doubt what he just said by the looks on Jaejoong’s face..
The younger man just stared at him.. “friends? Restrictions?”.. he asked again and when his ex - husband show signs of frustration, he snapped..
“just say what you kept in mind!”.. he yelled, he was frustrated himself..
“fine! You are scared of me! you don’t want to have sex because you still remember that night that’s why i wanted us to be friend, i have to set my mind that i can’t hold you anytime i want”.. he stop as he look at the other’s shock expression.. “i love you that i wanted you all by myself, to hold you so that everyone will know that you are already taken but Jae, i can’t do that. I don’t want you to be scared. Yo- “..
“but i’m not scared”.. the smaller man interrupted..
“bullshit! Stop hurting yourself just for once, please”.. Yunho replied as they looked at each other seriously. Jaejoong was speechless, never in his life he imagined Yunho to say those words..
“i’m not asking you to forgive me or forget everything i’ve done, i know it’s hard specially that i’d hurt you there”.. he pointed at the other’s heart.. “and i buried bad memories in there”.. and he pointed at his head.. “but want us to make new memories. I want to prove to you that i really love you. i’m willing to do everything, to wait till death”..
They kept silent for a long time but they kept their eyes locked at each other.. Jaejoong was thinking if that was a good idea but many questions were popping out on his mind; what if Yunho got tired of waiting? What if he starts a relationship with others cause they were just friends?, what if he realized that he really doesn’t love him?.. there were so many questions that he wanted to know the answer but a single question turned everything to have sense; what if he didn’t agree? Would he know the answer?.. and with that the younger man smiled..
“friends”.. he mumbled that made Yunho blinked repeatedly at him..
“what?”.. he asked as he watched his wife lay on the bed and cover the lower part of his body with the blanket.. the latter didn’t answer, instead he patted the space beside him, asking the older man to lay that is immediately complied upon..
They were facing each other but not looking at each other’s eye this time..
“we are already friends right?”.. the smaller man suddenly asked..
“y-you agree?”.. the older man asked, surprised.. his wife nodded cutely that he wanted to kiss his whole face but they were just friends now, so Yunho just bit his lower lip controlling his self..
Jaejoong yawned and turned to lay on his back.. “going to sleep now Yun. Sweet dreams”. he didn’t wait for the other’s reply and instantly closed his eyes.
As he watched his every move, he kept convincing his self that he can’t touch the beautiful man beside him, so he just watched him for a long time before he closed his eyes only to open them again as the younger man moved closer to hug him.
He was about to complain but was too shocked to do so as he felt soft lips on top of his.
“don’t want my lips to hunt you on your dreams”. is what he heard Jaejoong mumbled before he buried his face on the crook of the older man’s neck.
Yunho didn’t know if he can sleep at all but before he closed his eyes, for sure this time, he told himself that he will make Kim Jaejoong happy from now on.