Pain and Pleasure
Title: Pain and Pleasure
Author: Kei
Topic: love, smut, randomness, yaoi, love triangles, etc...
Rating: 17+
POV: 3rd Person
Chapters: 06/??
"What am I thinking? What's wrong with me? What am I doing?" Rei asked himself as he stood hiding in an alley way as he watched her pass by. He had broken all ties with Kai within the passed month and he couldn't but help watch her from afar. His body ached for her kiss. Her smile tormented his very soul as she smiled for another besides him. He felt the guilt and jealous shoot through him like a bolt of lightening. He watched as her newly found boyfriend had now planted a kiss on her forehead and held her close by the waist. He felt angry not only at the boy but at himself. He couldn't help but feel regret for leaving her.
The reason behind him leaving her was because he wanted her to have a safe lifestyle instead of being protected twenty-four seven by ninja-like bodygaurds. The last days he had spent with her were irresistably painful. He knew when he was leaving but for the other party, she had absolutely no clue. The only thing she knew was that he was leaving for her safety. She held him tightly as they slept in the same bed and shared passionate kisses slowly and gently. Rei had allowed Kai many times for a chance for another boyfriend but she refused until the day she found her house empty and bare. All the sweet traces of her beloved erased like he had never existed in her life. Not even the ring he had given her was left on her finger. Tears drew for several days and she was no more than an empty shell. Rei had found himself drowning himself in his work and trying his best to avoid any sort of distraction that may be caused by even glance at his pictures with her.
Within the days she had wept, he trashed his entire office and room. He cried tears he never knew he could shed. He destroyed everything in his path and almost took up gang fights like in his younger years. The only person who understood and could talk some sense into him was his brother. He couldn't help but feel tormented by the fact that his brother was able to keep and protect his significant other with no problems. Although both of them felt really protective over their loved ones, his older brother caved to his love's pleads and cries; while, Rei through away all his love for Kai and left her behind with his heart. He could feel the gaping whole within his chest and the emptiness that could never be whole again.
Days passed and the world spun as it usually did. Rei drowned himself in work and school studies while Kai tried her best to cope with her now familiar lifestyle. She had gotten used to not seeing Rei but it hurt too much to bare and to think about. Sometimes she was even forced to go to matching parties set up by her friends. They were newly grads and all their guy friends were from the same colleges their were all going to.
One day, out of all the rest, she finally opened up to one of the boys. She smiled her first real smile in a while and started to show color in her complexion. This boy was a few years older and studying computer engineering on the same campus as she. Kai had met up with him a few times but failed to notice him until now. He had always kept an eye on her and finally made his move when he noticed her fragile self becoming more open. He got her to smile and laugh as the days went by. Finally, after getting passed the friends stage he finally asked her out. She agreed and happily took his invitation. She enjoyed her time with him as Rei watched from the shadows. He knew this is what he had asked for but it tore him apart to see that he wasn't the one to make her smile and laugh but instead this other who thought he could make Kai's life complete. After realizing that Kai could live without him, Rei left the shadows in which he hid and walked out of her life for good.
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//POV: Kai//
Kyo had asked me out on a date, I just resist saying yes. He brought out the best of me and I was able to act like myself in front of him. I didn't have to mask anything in front of him. He just simply understood and held me like I was the world. I felt happiest when in his arms, just as I was when I was in Rei's grasp and passionate kiss. I didn't look at Kyo like he was a replacement for which I had recently lost but he seemed to fill somewhat of the whole that bore within my chest. He made me smile and I knew I could feel the emotions which fled within me, once more.
My mobile vibrated during class but the professor didn't mind since no ever paid attention to him. I opened up the screen and smiled. There was a text invite from Kyo to go out tonight. He had typed, [Watching you study so hard is just plain torture, you're just too cute! ;D I was wondering if you'd like to go out for dinner tonight? O.o? -Kyo]
I put my phone on my lap and pushed up my glasses, which started to fall, just before texting back to him. [You should be paying attention, dork. ;p I'd love to go out. Where to? -Kai<3] I closed my screen as soon I was done but then right when I was about to go back to writing more notes, another text had come in.
[I am... sorta... okay... no, I'm not studying but it's fun watching you. ^^ Awesome! I'll pick you up at 8. Dress up a bit! It's gonna be a date. -Kyo]
I turned my head and watched him wave back at me, I just smiled and closed my phone. Honestly, I couldn't wait until the date.
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I had put on a black dress which hugged my body and ended just before my knees. The straps hung at my shoulders, kind of slipping off. I had on a pair of black strapped high heels, open toe. My roommate had done my hair so that it was in a bun and just a single strip of hair hung down and lie gently in front of my shoulder at the side as my bangs were pushed aside. We finally tipped it off by freshly applying make up. Instead of my dorky glasses, I had put in contacts so that it put my outfit altogether. Finally, I was presentable and hoped he wasn't or hadn't been waiting.
I walked out of the dorm doors and looked around for him. I took out my phone and looked at the time, I was five minutes early but it didn't matter. I looked around for his car until something else caught my attention. Between two buildings, the shadow that was cast by one, there was a person hiding there. He looked tall and oddly familiar. I stared at the figure, for what I thought to be an eternity. I felt like his eyes were staring right back at me. Suddenly, I felt my entire body moving, walking, toward the figure. He seemed to take a step back every few steps I took. Then I found myself half way across the street and so close to the person. He didn't move and just watched me. His gaze captivated my very body as Rei's had. Something in my heart felt pained and hurt. I felt the throb that I hadn't felt in months.
A single tear drop rolled down my cheek from my eye. His face finally showed up because of one of the passing car's lights. I couldn't believe he was standing there. When he had somewhat realized that I had realized who he was, he turned around and started to run away. I dropped everything that was in my hands and ran after him in my heels. Feeling tears roll down my cheeks, probably ruining my make up but I didn't care because all I wanted was to see his face once more to prove that I wasn't going insane. He didn't stop but he did slow down for me.
We were near a main street and I had realized he had lead me back to where I was supposed to meet Kyo. Kyo stood there with my stuff in his hands and looking around worried. I started walking over to him, when I found out there was pain from my feet. The heel straps had dug into me as I ran and I had started to bleed. I sat down on the sidewalk and saw Kyo running for me, as he had noticed me. I found a pieces of paper, which looked like it was torn from a page of a book and crumpled up, on the ground with his handwriting.
What is this flower looking for?
Isn't it because I wanted to keep you safe that I left you.
Why can't I leave you completely the way you moved on.
My heart aches but I don't want you to be the same.
Move on.
Run with the wind.
And smile the smile you use for me so that I may be able to live another day.
Show me that I don't have to worry anymore.
That no matter what happens to me... I can die happy.
My beautiful flower, don't cry.
I love you, and I always will.
I could tell that Rei had been writing to me but never had to nerve to send anything. His tears were still apparent on the paper and tore my heart apart.
Kyo knelt down and didn't ask what was wrong, he just simply understood. He picked me up and took me back up to my room. He silenced my roommate and allowed me to sleep with no disturbances. Kyo was a nice guy and someone who understood, why couldn't he just be the one that could pull me out of his hurt and pain. Why Rei? Why? Why do I hurt so much when I think of you? I knew you had to leave. I knew why you had to leave but why does it hurt so much? Why can't you and I just have lived in two different worlds and lived like there was no difference in this world. I wish we could either be inseperable or to have never met so that both of us wouldn't have to feel this pain. I wish I could follow you to the ends of this world. I wish... I could just not be a nuisance to you. With that, my head drifted and my eyes closed shut and the nightmares started.
It started out as a pleasant dream but turned out to be the worst nightmare in the world.
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Note from the Author: You've probably noticed that it seems like I've skipped over a major part. Actually, I decided to make that a side story for later. I want the main events to be out and noticed. My senpai needs to know how Rei views her and misses her and thus this affection effected my writing. I need input on my writing. I'll get my stories, poems, and chapters up once I've gotten used to school settings. Thanks for reading.