diner writing o1.

Jul 01, 2008 04:07

I smell like coffee, cigarettes, and unfinished conversations.There's this rainbow that reflects from the handle of my coffee spoon onto the table. At 10:15pm in the diner even my dad's employees warned him to never go into, this is probably the only rainbow around. I'm in the smoking section waiting for people who aren't going to show up. Story of ( Read more... )

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Comments 21

musicsexual July 4 2008, 07:50:40 UTC
I like the Wallflowers! A lot! It was a snapshot description of the people in the diner I was around who played them and definitely didn't actually know anything about the band, not at all a generalization of all people. I hope. The comments pretty much reflect what I'm saying, though, sadly enough.

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la_grotesquerie July 4 2008, 08:48:42 UTC
Over from writers_guild.

This is some seriously good shit. I'm impressed. A lot of people try to pull off ennui, but this is actually believable. It's gritty and genuine and I'm glad you decided to write down. You have some serious talent.

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musicsexual July 5 2008, 03:13:37 UTC
I didn't notice just how strong the ennui tone was until you said so, but that's exactly what it is. I think the key is really just not trying to go for that tone - or any in particular, really.
Anyway, thank you! I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

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twilightfucker July 4 2008, 19:06:56 UTC
this is great. I love it just for the fact of being a real portrait of a person. You some how managed to fit in a whole person, not to mention the ending is hilarious.

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musicsexual July 5 2008, 03:16:15 UTC
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it all. The friend of mine I mentioned in the piece said both quotes about ten minutes after I finished it, when I was struggling for an ending, and they seemed to fit perfectly to me in a nonsensical way.

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justhush August 3 2008, 13:52:23 UTC
Man, this is gorgeous. Exploring your own flaws is tough; I end up rationalizing everything if I try anything like that. I admire you being able to do that.

Deeeeeep thoughts.

:) ♥

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musicsexual August 3 2008, 20:02:06 UTC
See, I think I'm successful at exploring my own flaws because I don't try to. I just...I sit back and analyze the people around me a lot. Not in a criticizing way, just...observations. And in my observations I see other people's flaws, and eventually find myself identifying with them? I don't know. Writing is my therapy for exactly that reason, though.
I was writing it, and wrote "deep thoughts", and then actually looked up from my coffee mug at the people in the booth in front of me and went "deeeep thoughts, with Jenna Handy", in the SNL, smooth-jazz-DJ voice.

Okay. Forever-long comment aside, I'm glad you enjoyed it! ♥

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