if that was to me.. and if it's about what i think, then i need you to understand i can't do it for anyone else but myself. things havent been the same, that doesn't make it okay. but i'm still the same person i have and always will be.
you're right things havent been the same. things wont be either. i dont want you to think i hate you. i just get kinda mad sometimes. i have a lot on my plate right now. and you do mean soemthing to me. i just dont want to see people i care about get in bad situations or have bad things happen to them. becasue frankly, i really dont think id be able to handel going through that too.
and thats fine that you have to do it for yourself. but if thats the way it is, than dont tell me.
nicole part of the reason why it tears me up to do what i do is because it hurts you and others so much. because it was the main factor that messed everything up, and what won't help us be close to what we were. i care so much about you and your feelings that i say it and true to make myself believe it to show you i can make you happy, but then i realized i have to do it for myself. i have priorites and things i want to achieve and i still can. you can have fun as long as you get your stuff done, and i'm learning i can manage that. i am still the same person, i never changed into something totally different. things i do affect a lot, but not who i am. it really hurts me to hurt you and i won't lie to you..but it's not like a lie, because i mean it because i know i have to stop, but for me it's not easy. it's weak and stupid i know, but it's easier to understand after this long. we'll talk later about this, i don't want to hurt you anymore. i'm sorry.
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and thats fine that you have to do it for yourself. but if thats the way it is, than dont tell me.
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