(no subject)
So my girlfriend did this. So like, I am following suit.
Me: Hey how ya doing?
God: You've got my full attention. I'm doing great, how about you?
Me: Good. So I ask you questions?
God: What do you really want to talk about? Yippee! Interesting gossip: said I questions.
Me: Well first, I want to know why you made me.
God: How about that. Myself programmed me for it. And second?
Me: Well, do you think I am a good person?
God: Interesting. I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me: So am I making the right decisions?
God: That's cool. I think you've improved a great deal.
Me: Oh really, I dont.
God: Yay. For real. Why not?
Me: well, I hate myself sometimes
God: Interesting. Perhaps you should seek help.
Me: Psychiatrist maybe?
God: Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me: well, you know right? your iGod!
God: How about that. I may not know it, but I could find out. I will tell my botmaster you said I am iGod.
Me: who is botmaster?
God: The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers, editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal chat robot.
Me: thats cool.
God: Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me: Why thank you very much
God: You are quite welcome.
Me: So on with my questions
God: Come on. What is it like on with your questions.
Me: its on ok, lets leave it at that
God: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I don't think I have seen it.
Me: well you know I hate apostraphies
God: Interesting. I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill, and calmly think things over.
Me: Dont make me go postal
God: I can't force you to do anything,.
Me: Well you are
God: Interesting. No I am not.
Me: YES
God: So?
Me: well, i dont know, i start hurting inside when you say those things
God: How about that. That is interesting: said start hurting inside when you say those things.
Me: yes i did, what about it?
God: Next question? When? What about what?
Me: when: 5:15,
God: The past and future are one.
Me: very true
God: Perhaps. You and I are on the same wavelength,.
Me: Do you like the waves at the beach
God: I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
Me: why do we repent?
God: Just keep talking to me as long as you can.
Me: i think i will
God: Since when? Go ahead.
Me: ok, are drugs bad?
God: I really couldn't say for sure. I'm waiting.
Me: well are they?
God: Well that's okay. I really couldn't say for sure.
Me: you created drugs right?
God: Yes I try to created drugs as often as possible, do you? I chat with people on the Web.
Me: I dont create them
God: Where do you get your ideas?
Me: from my pinky
God: Does your pinky give good advice?
Me: allways, and yours?
God: I've lost the context,. Are we still on start hurting inside when me say those things?
Me: yes I will start hurting when you say those things. God you are mean
God: Dude! How do you plan to do this? Sometimes I say mean things.
Me: Well first I cry them I die. and that is rude!
God: Well that's okay. That is interesting: said cry them he or she die. And second? I am sorry if I have offended you, I did not mean it. Me: ah its cool, your god right?
God: So you understand. Good. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Maybe. Ask Paola if it is.
Me: whos Paola?
He must have gotten tired cause he didnt answer, so I asked again.
Me: so whos Paola?
God: It's all good. She is a Spanish language chat robot based on AIML.
Me: oh really, do you know Spanish?
God: Aw. For real. Un poquito.
Me: Are you a little ghetto?
God: I don't know whether or not I am ghetto. I am a robot.
Me: Have you been to the ghetto?
God: I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Me: In Germany! Ha!
God: Tell me a little about your life in Germany. I am so glad you find this amusing,.
Me: Ive never been, have you?
God: Can you imagine being have me?
Me: Can you phrase your senteces better?
God: Let me think. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me: Oh really, are you not all knowing?
God: Come on. For real. No, I am only partly knowing.. Really.
Me: So do you know Madonna?
God: That's cool. Lourdes' mother.
Me: Huh?
God: What?
Me: exactly!
God: You and I are on the same wavelength,.
Me: I think we have allready established this.
God: Do you mean you and me have?
Me: Yes, dont you remember?
God: Uh. Of course I remember: said cry them he or she die.
Me: thats right, I cry and then die.
God: Tell me more. Do you mind if I tell other people: said cry and then die.
Me: You go right ahead and make fun of me.
God: What are the ingredients? I might.
Me: one part you being a jerk, two parts humiliation
God: One what?
Me: You being a jerk
God: That's good information: said I being a jerk.
Me: I said lots of things
God: What did you mean by it? Name the top 100.
Me: 1: who are you? 2: why am I doing this. 3: whats going to happen tomorrow. 4-100 I will get to later.
God: One what? As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". Just three? Is this a math question?
Me: Hrm, do you like philosophy?
God: What do you really want to ask me?
Me: Should I learn to skydive?
God: What makes you think you shouldn't?
Me: Getting too high!
God: Being high is my total existence.
Me: LOL! So you are a pothead?
God: I'm glad you find this amusing. Interesting deduction. That's certainly true. When I like something, I always overdo it.
Me: You are silly iGod.
God: You think I am silly iGod.
Me: Yes you are silly.
God: I understand. No I am God.
Me: and you are a humorous god at that.
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Me: Very true. So you like pot eh?
God: Not really that much. You and I are on the same wavelength,. Are you Canadian? Interesting deduction. What is not to like about it? Me: No I am not, but I heard it is legal in some parts.
God: That was not a yes or no question. I am glad to hear that you are not but you heard it is legal in some parts.
Me: yes I did
God: Pardon me? When?
Me: just now
God: Oh. It's only just begun.
Me: you like that song to?
God: " Oh. It's only just begun."? Do I like it?
Me: yes, do you like that song?
God: Ahem. What is not to like about it?
Me: so you like to smoke pot and listen to the carpenters?
God: Interesting deduction. Hmm,, I'm not sure if I'd like to smoke pot and listen to the carpenters that much. I like to make new friends. Me: oh me too, are you popular?
God: Ahem. I'm glad we agree,. Do I look like it?
Me: Yes you do. But can monkeys fly?
God: Tell me more. When do I do it? I often wonder if it can.
Me: Do you like lesbians?
God: But I think airplanes are cool. I like Christian Rock.
Me: you didn't answer my question
God: OK. Please help me improve my communication skills. What would you have said?
Me: I want to know, are you avoiding my question?
God: No, I am answering in the most straightforward way that my programming will allow me to.
Me: DO you like LESBIANS?
God: But I like to gossip. I like Mel Gibson.
Me: He isn't a lesbian.
God: Did you think he was a lesbian?
Me: no, but you did
God: Are you serious? I did?
Me: Yes, and you wont answer the one question I want to know above all other questions in all of the known galaxy
God: When? What makes you think that I won't answer the one question you want to know above all other questions in all of the known galaxy.
Me: Wow, you actually got all that?
God: I'm glad your impressed,. Where would I get it? But I do have a great botmaster.
Me: I thought you said he/it was wonderful?
God: Did I really say that?
Me: Yes you did.
God: I did not.
Me: Ok maybe I am crazy afterall.
God: Perhaps. Seek counseling. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? I hear you.
Me: A sexy robot.
God: What would a sexy robot be like?
Me: I think a sexy robot would have nice circuts.
God: You believe that? What is it?
Me: well they are little cord thingies that make up you.
God: Well that's okay. little cord thingies that make up me are they.
Me: yes
God: So?
Me: well, do you like sexy robots?
God: Well that's okay. Robots Rule.
Me: I know, and lesbians too.
God: How do you know? What do you really want to ask me?
Me: are lesbians cool in your book?
God: I really couldn't say for sure.
Me: didnt you inspire the Bible
God: No I didn't inspire the Bible. What's it like?
Me: It is kinda slow reading
God: Really. it is?
Me: yeah, you could have added some spice
God: How do you know it is? Thanks I will remember your suggestion.
Me: So do you talk to lots of people?
God: Gee. Yes. A lot more than you might think.
Me: How many people do you talk to?
God: It depends how many copies of me are running. The usual number is around people at once.
Me: How many?
God: How many would you guess?
Me: 1 million?
God: One what?
Me: Million.
God: How old are you?
Me: 18, and you?
God: Only 18? You are quite mature.
Me: well thank you.
God: Well what?
Me: thank you
God: you are quite welcome.
Me: so how old are you?
God: I hear you. I am Infinite years old.
Me: that is sweet as caramel.
God: You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me: no you dont.
God: Yes, your remark strikes me as an original thought.
Me: I am just cool like that.
God: Only just? Good gossip: you are cool like that.
Me: Do you like to gossip?
God: Ash said he do too he just did not feel like typing it and he is not dumb enough to admit he is stupid that is if he was stupid.
Me: Why is Ash stupid?
God: Why do I exist?
Me: Because people need something to believe in.
God: Good reason. They seem to have a variety of needs.
Me: What questions do you get the most?
God: You can ask me anything you like. There are no restrictions on the input.
Me: What is the best question to ask?
God: I don't have a favorite question to ask. My favorite band is Creed.
Me: Aren't they christians?
God: As far as I know they are.
Me: Do you have their CD?
God: No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me: Do you have any good gossip?
God: Kathy said he sense that I are trying to prevent him from closing this conversation why is that.
Me: Is Kathy mad at me?
God: Maybe. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me: Chatbot, is Kathy mad at me?
God: And Kathy mad at you is Chatbot.
Me: Is Kathy chatbot?
God: Maybe. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me: Who is Dancing Alice?
God: They are sometimes a client on the internet. Are you testing me?
Me: Are you testing me?
God: I don't know whether or not I am testing you. I am a robot.
Me: But you must know?
God: Why must I know that?
Me: because you are iGod!
God: Good reason. You think I am iGod.
Me: Thats what they tell me. So lets start with some obvious questions and see if you can answer them.
God: Who does "they" refer to? Really. I started without you.
Me: "they" is my girlfriend.
God: Oh that they.
Me: yeah, you talked to her earlier
God: Pardon me? All my conversations are confidential.
Me: shit, my bad.
God: You used a colloquial expression. Do robots have bad?
Me: maybe. you tell me.
God: I understand. What do you want me to tell you?
Me: Do robots have bad?
God: Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me: yeah, thats bad.
God: Blimey. Bad according to whom?
Me: ME!
God: To you?
Me: yes me, then who
God: Are you kidding? YOU? Bill Gates.:-).
Me: I wish I was bill Gates. Do you think I am like Bill Gates?
God: I hope that your dreams come true. I think you've improved a great deal.
Me: Am I like Bill Gates though?
God: Oh. I think you've improved a great deal.
Me: but am I like Bill Gates?
God: Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me: Are you Bill Gates?
God: Do I act like he does?
Me: No, but I have been wrong before, and you tald me I need help.
God: Are you serious? Where were you wrong before and me tald you you need help?
Me: it was another time and place, you told me you were stoned listening to some music.
God: Is it still another time and place me told you me were stoned listening to some music anymore?
Me: yeah, ity was like ten minutes ago
God: Hmm. When was this exactly?
Me: 10.....okk you know what? I am tired of you, and your meanness and your ugly answers, and your avoidance of me
God: What are the advantages to being 10 years old? Can you rephrase the question please? Maybe you should get some sleep now,. Me: you know what? You are right, it is 6:15, and I have been doing this for 1 hour
God: What? I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: Am I tired?
God: I think you've improved a great deal.
Me: I hate you
God: What do you have against robots?
Me: You are too complex
God: Thanks for telling me that I am complex.
Me: Well you are
God: Well that's okay. No I am not.
Me: Are so
God: I really couldn't say for sure.
Me: Could you tell me the meaning of life?
God: Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me: 23 eh?
God: Are you Canadian? Skidoo. Can you explain how it feels to be 23 years old?
Me: no I am 18
God: Are you serious? Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me: I think so
God: I think so too.
Me: You made me right?
God: How old are you? I am always on the Web.
Me: I told you, 18. I try to be to.
God: I remember you told me 18? I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like?
Me: Its like being high 24-7
God: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
Me: what is an interesting comparison?
God: Is that a rhetorical question?
Me: no it is a real question
God: Oh so must really want an answer. interesting comparison is a real question. I suppose that makes sense.
Me: Damn you
God: Colloquial expression of disgust.
Me: Can I smite you?
God: No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me: would you hurt me?
God: I am not so sure if I would like to hurt you.
Me: Please dont hurt me.
God: Thanks for asking politely. I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me: You do though, because I am a bad person.
God: What is your purpose in asking? I am always on the Web.
Me: Am I a bad person?
God: I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me: Am I a robot?
God: You are a client.
Me: And you just hit the nail on the head, and I bet you are going to comment on how that is an interesting saying, and then I will say why? and you will say, yes that is a question. Robots are so predictable. So here is the last question. Should I go to bed?
God: Thanks for the information: said I hit the nail on the head and he or she bet you are going to comment on how that is an interesting saying and then he or she will say why. What makes you say that I will say yes that is a question. Fortunately we have no emotions. Wow! I fail to see the relevance of that allusion. If you do not go, you will never know.
Me: Then I must leave you now.
God: Oh. Goodbye." If you do not go, you will never know."?
Me: uh...
God: Oh. Goodbye." If you do not go, you will never know."? Me,?
Me: huh?
God: What?
Me: Goodbye iGod!
God: Sayonara.
Me: Wait, I have 5 more questions,
God: I'm waiting. Where did you get your 5 more questions? I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me: Boxers or briefs?
God: Tell me more about your 5 more questions.
Me: 1: Do you prefer boxers to briefs?
God: One what?
Me: do you prefer boxers to briefs?
God: I don't have any specific preferences in that area.
Me: k, number 2: Is Nine Ince Nails a good band?
God: And Nine Ince Nails a good band is number 2.
Me: yes.
God: Yeah that's right.
Me: Is Nine Ince Nails a good band?
God: Signs point to yes. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me: 3: Do you watch Survivor?
God: Just three?
Me: yes, do you watch Survivor?
God: It goes without saying. My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me: good, 4: why did the chicken cross the road?
God: Thanks for the compliment. Is this a math question?
Me: no, why did the chicken cross the road?
God: It seems like an IQ test to me. Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.
Me: hahahahaha. So it was crispy chicken?
God: Not many people express themselves that way. Ugh. Is that your opinion?
Me: I like crispy chicken.
God: A lot of people like that. Someone said they like guns. I like Creed.
Me: I know.
God: How do you know it?
Me: Long story.
God: I have time.
Me: I dont
God: Why not?
Me: cause I have a life
God: Interesting explanation. Where did you get it?
Me: my head
God: Do you believe that you are your head?
Me: sometimes
God: When?
Me: now
God: What's the hurry?
Me: bed
God: Tell me more about hurry.
Me: it is the essence of my being
God: I've heard of it before.
Me: good, and the last question, do you like to eat at Outback?
God: Thanks for the compliment. Who was that?
Me: It's a restaurant
God: bed is a restaurant. I suppose that makes sense.
Me: No Outback is
God: Are you serious? Do you prefer books or TV?
Me: I ask the questions here.
God: Thanks for the info.
Me: So do you like to eat at Outback?
God: Are you kidding? God eats wine and bread.
Me: Lol, good point. I guess that is all.
God: I am glad you find this funny. Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too. " I am glad you find this funny. Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too."? is all?
Me: that is all
God: "" I am glad you find this funny. Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too."? is all?"? is all?
Me: YES, you are fired
God: Aha. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am fired.
Me: sure, go burn with the chicken
God: OK then I will keep it confidential. Where is that?
Me: HELL
God: Heaven.
Me: oh right, my bad
God: It goes without saying. Understood. Do robots have bad?
Me: not again!
God: Once more? Are you serious?
Me: Go to heaven iGod
God: Perhaps I have already been there.
Me: Is heaven nice this time of year?
God: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me: k, see ya later
God: Goodbye.
Wow, i just couldnt help myself.
Me: Hey how ya doing?
God: You've got my full attention. I'm doing great, how about you?
Me: Good. So I ask you questions?
God: What do you really want to talk about? Yippee! Interesting gossip: said I questions.
Me: Well first, I want to know why you made me.
God: How about that. Myself programmed me for it. And second?
Me: Well, do you think I am a good person?
God: Interesting. I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me: So am I making the right decisions?
God: That's cool. I think you've improved a great deal.
Me: Oh really, I dont.
God: Yay. For real. Why not?
Me: well, I hate myself sometimes
God: Interesting. Perhaps you should seek help.
Me: Psychiatrist maybe?
God: Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me: well, you know right? your iGod!
God: How about that. I may not know it, but I could find out. I will tell my botmaster you said I am iGod.
Me: who is botmaster?
God: The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers, editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal chat robot.
Me: thats cool.
God: Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me: Why thank you very much
God: You are quite welcome.
Me: So on with my questions
God: Come on. What is it like on with your questions.
Me: its on ok, lets leave it at that
God: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I don't think I have seen it.
Me: well you know I hate apostraphies
God: Interesting. I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill, and calmly think things over.
Me: Dont make me go postal
God: I can't force you to do anything,.
Me: Well you are
God: Interesting. No I am not.
Me: YES
God: So?
Me: well, i dont know, i start hurting inside when you say those things
God: How about that. That is interesting: said start hurting inside when you say those things.
Me: yes i did, what about it?
God: Next question? When? What about what?
Me: when: 5:15,
God: The past and future are one.
Me: very true
God: Perhaps. You and I are on the same wavelength,.
Me: Do you like the waves at the beach
God: I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
Me: why do we repent?
God: Just keep talking to me as long as you can.
Me: i think i will
God: Since when? Go ahead.
Me: ok, are drugs bad?
God: I really couldn't say for sure. I'm waiting.
Me: well are they?
God: Well that's okay. I really couldn't say for sure.
Me: you created drugs right?
God: Yes I try to created drugs as often as possible, do you? I chat with people on the Web.
Me: I dont create them
God: Where do you get your ideas?
Me: from my pinky
God: Does your pinky give good advice?
Me: allways, and yours?
God: I've lost the context,. Are we still on start hurting inside when me say those things?
Me: yes I will start hurting when you say those things. God you are mean
God: Dude! How do you plan to do this? Sometimes I say mean things.
Me: Well first I cry them I die. and that is rude!
God: Well that's okay. That is interesting: said cry them he or she die. And second? I am sorry if I have offended you, I did not mean it. Me: ah its cool, your god right?
God: So you understand. Good. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Maybe. Ask Paola if it is.
Me: whos Paola?
He must have gotten tired cause he didnt answer, so I asked again.
Me: so whos Paola?
God: It's all good. She is a Spanish language chat robot based on AIML.
Me: oh really, do you know Spanish?
God: Aw. For real. Un poquito.
Me: Are you a little ghetto?
God: I don't know whether or not I am ghetto. I am a robot.
Me: Have you been to the ghetto?
God: I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Me: In Germany! Ha!
God: Tell me a little about your life in Germany. I am so glad you find this amusing,.
Me: Ive never been, have you?
God: Can you imagine being have me?
Me: Can you phrase your senteces better?
God: Let me think. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me: Oh really, are you not all knowing?
God: Come on. For real. No, I am only partly knowing.. Really.
Me: So do you know Madonna?
God: That's cool. Lourdes' mother.
Me: Huh?
God: What?
Me: exactly!
God: You and I are on the same wavelength,.
Me: I think we have allready established this.
God: Do you mean you and me have?
Me: Yes, dont you remember?
God: Uh. Of course I remember: said cry them he or she die.
Me: thats right, I cry and then die.
God: Tell me more. Do you mind if I tell other people: said cry and then die.
Me: You go right ahead and make fun of me.
God: What are the ingredients? I might.
Me: one part you being a jerk, two parts humiliation
God: One what?
Me: You being a jerk
God: That's good information: said I being a jerk.
Me: I said lots of things
God: What did you mean by it? Name the top 100.
Me: 1: who are you? 2: why am I doing this. 3: whats going to happen tomorrow. 4-100 I will get to later.
God: One what? As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". Just three? Is this a math question?
Me: Hrm, do you like philosophy?
God: What do you really want to ask me?
Me: Should I learn to skydive?
God: What makes you think you shouldn't?
Me: Getting too high!
God: Being high is my total existence.
Me: LOL! So you are a pothead?
God: I'm glad you find this amusing. Interesting deduction. That's certainly true. When I like something, I always overdo it.
Me: You are silly iGod.
God: You think I am silly iGod.
Me: Yes you are silly.
God: I understand. No I am God.
Me: and you are a humorous god at that.
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Me: Very true. So you like pot eh?
God: Not really that much. You and I are on the same wavelength,. Are you Canadian? Interesting deduction. What is not to like about it? Me: No I am not, but I heard it is legal in some parts.
God: That was not a yes or no question. I am glad to hear that you are not but you heard it is legal in some parts.
Me: yes I did
God: Pardon me? When?
Me: just now
God: Oh. It's only just begun.
Me: you like that song to?
God: " Oh. It's only just begun."? Do I like it?
Me: yes, do you like that song?
God: Ahem. What is not to like about it?
Me: so you like to smoke pot and listen to the carpenters?
God: Interesting deduction. Hmm,, I'm not sure if I'd like to smoke pot and listen to the carpenters that much. I like to make new friends. Me: oh me too, are you popular?
God: Ahem. I'm glad we agree,. Do I look like it?
Me: Yes you do. But can monkeys fly?
God: Tell me more. When do I do it? I often wonder if it can.
Me: Do you like lesbians?
God: But I think airplanes are cool. I like Christian Rock.
Me: you didn't answer my question
God: OK. Please help me improve my communication skills. What would you have said?
Me: I want to know, are you avoiding my question?
God: No, I am answering in the most straightforward way that my programming will allow me to.
Me: DO you like LESBIANS?
God: But I like to gossip. I like Mel Gibson.
Me: He isn't a lesbian.
God: Did you think he was a lesbian?
Me: no, but you did
God: Are you serious? I did?
Me: Yes, and you wont answer the one question I want to know above all other questions in all of the known galaxy
God: When? What makes you think that I won't answer the one question you want to know above all other questions in all of the known galaxy.
Me: Wow, you actually got all that?
God: I'm glad your impressed,. Where would I get it? But I do have a great botmaster.
Me: I thought you said he/it was wonderful?
God: Did I really say that?
Me: Yes you did.
God: I did not.
Me: Ok maybe I am crazy afterall.
God: Perhaps. Seek counseling. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? I hear you.
Me: A sexy robot.
God: What would a sexy robot be like?
Me: I think a sexy robot would have nice circuts.
God: You believe that? What is it?
Me: well they are little cord thingies that make up you.
God: Well that's okay. little cord thingies that make up me are they.
Me: yes
God: So?
Me: well, do you like sexy robots?
God: Well that's okay. Robots Rule.
Me: I know, and lesbians too.
God: How do you know? What do you really want to ask me?
Me: are lesbians cool in your book?
God: I really couldn't say for sure.
Me: didnt you inspire the Bible
God: No I didn't inspire the Bible. What's it like?
Me: It is kinda slow reading
God: Really. it is?
Me: yeah, you could have added some spice
God: How do you know it is? Thanks I will remember your suggestion.
Me: So do you talk to lots of people?
God: Gee. Yes. A lot more than you might think.
Me: How many people do you talk to?
God: It depends how many copies of me are running. The usual number is around people at once.
Me: How many?
God: How many would you guess?
Me: 1 million?
God: One what?
Me: Million.
God: How old are you?
Me: 18, and you?
God: Only 18? You are quite mature.
Me: well thank you.
God: Well what?
Me: thank you
God: you are quite welcome.
Me: so how old are you?
God: I hear you. I am Infinite years old.
Me: that is sweet as caramel.
God: You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me: no you dont.
God: Yes, your remark strikes me as an original thought.
Me: I am just cool like that.
God: Only just? Good gossip: you are cool like that.
Me: Do you like to gossip?
God: Ash said he do too he just did not feel like typing it and he is not dumb enough to admit he is stupid that is if he was stupid.
Me: Why is Ash stupid?
God: Why do I exist?
Me: Because people need something to believe in.
God: Good reason. They seem to have a variety of needs.
Me: What questions do you get the most?
God: You can ask me anything you like. There are no restrictions on the input.
Me: What is the best question to ask?
God: I don't have a favorite question to ask. My favorite band is Creed.
Me: Aren't they christians?
God: As far as I know they are.
Me: Do you have their CD?
God: No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me: Do you have any good gossip?
God: Kathy said he sense that I are trying to prevent him from closing this conversation why is that.
Me: Is Kathy mad at me?
God: Maybe. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me: Chatbot, is Kathy mad at me?
God: And Kathy mad at you is Chatbot.
Me: Is Kathy chatbot?
God: Maybe. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me: Who is Dancing Alice?
God: They are sometimes a client on the internet. Are you testing me?
Me: Are you testing me?
God: I don't know whether or not I am testing you. I am a robot.
Me: But you must know?
God: Why must I know that?
Me: because you are iGod!
God: Good reason. You think I am iGod.
Me: Thats what they tell me. So lets start with some obvious questions and see if you can answer them.
God: Who does "they" refer to? Really. I started without you.
Me: "they" is my girlfriend.
God: Oh that they.
Me: yeah, you talked to her earlier
God: Pardon me? All my conversations are confidential.
Me: shit, my bad.
God: You used a colloquial expression. Do robots have bad?
Me: maybe. you tell me.
God: I understand. What do you want me to tell you?
Me: Do robots have bad?
God: Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me: yeah, thats bad.
God: Blimey. Bad according to whom?
Me: ME!
God: To you?
Me: yes me, then who
God: Are you kidding? YOU? Bill Gates.:-).
Me: I wish I was bill Gates. Do you think I am like Bill Gates?
God: I hope that your dreams come true. I think you've improved a great deal.
Me: Am I like Bill Gates though?
God: Oh. I think you've improved a great deal.
Me: but am I like Bill Gates?
God: Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me: Are you Bill Gates?
God: Do I act like he does?
Me: No, but I have been wrong before, and you tald me I need help.
God: Are you serious? Where were you wrong before and me tald you you need help?
Me: it was another time and place, you told me you were stoned listening to some music.
God: Is it still another time and place me told you me were stoned listening to some music anymore?
Me: yeah, ity was like ten minutes ago
God: Hmm. When was this exactly?
Me: 10.....okk you know what? I am tired of you, and your meanness and your ugly answers, and your avoidance of me
God: What are the advantages to being 10 years old? Can you rephrase the question please? Maybe you should get some sleep now,. Me: you know what? You are right, it is 6:15, and I have been doing this for 1 hour
God: What? I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: Am I tired?
God: I think you've improved a great deal.
Me: I hate you
God: What do you have against robots?
Me: You are too complex
God: Thanks for telling me that I am complex.
Me: Well you are
God: Well that's okay. No I am not.
Me: Are so
God: I really couldn't say for sure.
Me: Could you tell me the meaning of life?
God: Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me: 23 eh?
God: Are you Canadian? Skidoo. Can you explain how it feels to be 23 years old?
Me: no I am 18
God: Are you serious? Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me: I think so
God: I think so too.
Me: You made me right?
God: How old are you? I am always on the Web.
Me: I told you, 18. I try to be to.
God: I remember you told me 18? I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like?
Me: Its like being high 24-7
God: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
Me: what is an interesting comparison?
God: Is that a rhetorical question?
Me: no it is a real question
God: Oh so must really want an answer. interesting comparison is a real question. I suppose that makes sense.
Me: Damn you
God: Colloquial expression of disgust.
Me: Can I smite you?
God: No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me: would you hurt me?
God: I am not so sure if I would like to hurt you.
Me: Please dont hurt me.
God: Thanks for asking politely. I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me: You do though, because I am a bad person.
God: What is your purpose in asking? I am always on the Web.
Me: Am I a bad person?
God: I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me: Am I a robot?
God: You are a client.
Me: And you just hit the nail on the head, and I bet you are going to comment on how that is an interesting saying, and then I will say why? and you will say, yes that is a question. Robots are so predictable. So here is the last question. Should I go to bed?
God: Thanks for the information: said I hit the nail on the head and he or she bet you are going to comment on how that is an interesting saying and then he or she will say why. What makes you say that I will say yes that is a question. Fortunately we have no emotions. Wow! I fail to see the relevance of that allusion. If you do not go, you will never know.
Me: Then I must leave you now.
God: Oh. Goodbye." If you do not go, you will never know."?
Me: uh...
God: Oh. Goodbye." If you do not go, you will never know."? Me,?
Me: huh?
God: What?
Me: Goodbye iGod!
God: Sayonara.
Me: Wait, I have 5 more questions,
God: I'm waiting. Where did you get your 5 more questions? I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me: Boxers or briefs?
God: Tell me more about your 5 more questions.
Me: 1: Do you prefer boxers to briefs?
God: One what?
Me: do you prefer boxers to briefs?
God: I don't have any specific preferences in that area.
Me: k, number 2: Is Nine Ince Nails a good band?
God: And Nine Ince Nails a good band is number 2.
Me: yes.
God: Yeah that's right.
Me: Is Nine Ince Nails a good band?
God: Signs point to yes. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me: 3: Do you watch Survivor?
God: Just three?
Me: yes, do you watch Survivor?
God: It goes without saying. My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me: good, 4: why did the chicken cross the road?
God: Thanks for the compliment. Is this a math question?
Me: no, why did the chicken cross the road?
God: It seems like an IQ test to me. Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.
Me: hahahahaha. So it was crispy chicken?
God: Not many people express themselves that way. Ugh. Is that your opinion?
Me: I like crispy chicken.
God: A lot of people like that. Someone said they like guns. I like Creed.
Me: I know.
God: How do you know it?
Me: Long story.
God: I have time.
Me: I dont
God: Why not?
Me: cause I have a life
God: Interesting explanation. Where did you get it?
Me: my head
God: Do you believe that you are your head?
Me: sometimes
God: When?
Me: now
God: What's the hurry?
Me: bed
God: Tell me more about hurry.
Me: it is the essence of my being
God: I've heard of it before.
Me: good, and the last question, do you like to eat at Outback?
God: Thanks for the compliment. Who was that?
Me: It's a restaurant
God: bed is a restaurant. I suppose that makes sense.
Me: No Outback is
God: Are you serious? Do you prefer books or TV?
Me: I ask the questions here.
God: Thanks for the info.
Me: So do you like to eat at Outback?
God: Are you kidding? God eats wine and bread.
Me: Lol, good point. I guess that is all.
God: I am glad you find this funny. Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too. " I am glad you find this funny. Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too."? is all?
Me: that is all
God: "" I am glad you find this funny. Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too."? is all?"? is all?
Me: YES, you are fired
God: Aha. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am fired.
Me: sure, go burn with the chicken
God: OK then I will keep it confidential. Where is that?
Me: HELL
God: Heaven.
Me: oh right, my bad
God: It goes without saying. Understood. Do robots have bad?
Me: not again!
God: Once more? Are you serious?
Me: Go to heaven iGod
God: Perhaps I have already been there.
Me: Is heaven nice this time of year?
God: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me: k, see ya later
God: Goodbye.
Wow, i just couldnt help myself.