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The main phrase of the whole holiday.
Sunday:
Went to Matt's to stay over before we leave in the morning. Cue panicked last-minute packing of everything - I swear I spot
the cat crawling out of the suitcase looking terrified.
Monday:
Target time of leaving: 9am.
Actual time of leaving: 11am.
No matter, though. Matt got to ogle the boy next door while his dad swore violently at the amount of stuff that had to go
into the boot. (Bear in mind, they have an enormous estate style car with a boot the size of my bedroom).
Arrive in the early afternoon, and laze around with Emma and family until the time comes to put up the tents. Then we sit
around and crack open a few bottles before meandering up to Tenby. A slight pub crawl. Matt ends up getting the top score on
a few games in the pub. Bastard.
Tuesday:
I have sunburn on my shoulders ALREADY. So not amused. Today is Matthew's birthday, but we end up spending the afternoon in a
pub. Matt is a bit disgruntled at this, so we end up going home. I try to ply him with booze in an attempt to cheer him up,
but this just makes him puke behind the tents. Finally decides to crash at about 10pm, feeling really sick, bless him. I go
up to the entertainments with Emma and her friend who arrived today, Natalie. Only last one drink before I stumble home, and
end up ringing Ryan as there is a weirdo bloke following me. Ryan's not well either. Wonder if it's something I said.
Wednesday:
We go to this little place called Heatherton. Everso much fun. It has all this random stuff like a golfing range, go-karting,
archery, clay pidgeon shooting, crazy golf and softball. I learn how to be a golfy whore :) Very chuffed. Emma wins a dog on
those claw machines, and me and Matt discover the scariest arcade game ever. Eek.
Then when we get back, Emma and Natalie bugger off into Tenby. Emma plans to meet someone she knows online, he's called Greg.
He's a total stalker. We all go to the beach, though, and I swim around in the sea with Matt after squealing over how cold it
is.
Am full of sand. Hope it has exfoliating effects. Doubt it.
We also go out for a meal, just Matt, his mum and dad and me. Is wonderful fun, I have the hugest lasagne you've ever seen.
Matt and I also go gay-spotting, and I swear I see the two blokes at the table opposite share a dreamy glance. Matt has
strange glint in the eye. A sign of things to come?
Thursday:
OAKWOOD!
wow. How much fun? Lots, I tell ye. Me and Matt overslept so Emma and Natalie went up without us, and then we got shuttled
down later. As soon as we got there we went on Treetops, this little rollercoaster, and I screamed even though all the
nine-year-olds looked bored. More worryingly, I wasn't ashamed at all.
Then we went to queue up for Megaphobia, the "Fastest, biggest and best wooden rollercoaster in the world!" But after queuing
for an hour, poor Matt had a panic attack and we had to run off and eat. Emma bought us southern Fried Chicken which was so
yummy, I never wanted to stop eating. Diet? What diet?
Then Em and I went off to the loo while Matt and Natalie went on Spooky 3D, and they were still waiting so we went off to
Hydro. Hydro is, incidentally, my new God.
A vertical drop water ride with 9 tonnes of boat, 75 mph of fall and 20 feet of splash. The queue was long, but we waited all
the same.
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Us on Hydro?
Then we were strapped in and away.. It drags you up the huge thing really slowly, and the higher we got the more I was
thinking "Oh shit this is a mistake, oh shit, stop the ride, STOP THE FUCKING RIDE!" but I went through with it. I didn't
have much choice to be honest. It got faster as we went around the corner and then, before I was ready, WEEEEEEE! Down the
vertical drop! I remember having my eyes open and seeing the ground rushing up to meet me, although I don't remember having
my photo taken. Evidently it was, though.
Matt on Hydro:
Me on Hydro:
Then me and Em ran off to Megaphobia and then we went home and basked in the glory of conquering Hydro (Tagline: THE WATER'S
REVENGE!) but also wallowed in the puddles, as we were indeed soaking wet.
Friday:
Natalie went home on Thursday night, and so on Friday, Matt, Emma and I all went up to Tenby to meet Emma's "boyfriend" Greg.
What a fucking weirdo.
Of course, Matt and I scared him shitless, screaming "FAROOOGA BWAH BUB BWAH!" and reminding him of, when I was drunk the
night before, scream (in welsh accent) "Does Greg want to hear me farting? Tell Greg I've got one brewing!" When we first met
him, I said "Oh so this is Gregory?" in the style of Josh Jackson in Cruel Intentions. Everso funny.
We bought mountains of cool stuff, then went home.
Then we went out for a meal, and then to see The Four Tops, some ancient band who did songs like "Going Loco Down In
Acapulco" and stuffs. They were suprisingly good. But then, the most amusing point of the holiday..
Me and Matt went up to request a song at the disco afterwards. Matt spotted a bloke he rather liked, and so turned to me and
said "Cor, that irish boy with the blonde hair and the red top is well nice"
Only problem was, I was standing three feet away, and the person standing where Matt thought I was, was the irish boy with
the blonde hair and the red top.
Yummy day :)
Saturday:
Well, first we went to the beach, but the water was too cold so we went back to the pool. We flumped around in the water and
ogled the lifeguards for hours, thus my intense sunburn. Ew.
But then!! When we got back, Matt faked wanting a bottle of coke, went back to the pool and flirted with the lifeguard (whose
name was Scott) til he got his number. He then got asked, via text, to meet Scott at 3am by reception. And! HE WENT! Yay
Mafew!
Of course, then came the pool, which Scott had the keys to, the mutual masturbation and my little Matt being the recipient of
his first ever blow job from a bloke. How fabulous is this!?
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Get laid, did we?
It seems that way!
Sunday:
We came home. Booooob.