I know...as hard as I try to tell myself to lose the crazy and start to recover, I just feel so unbelievably ugly. Its horrible. I always am thinking, "I need to go out and run...I need to throw up that cookie..." God, I just want to get over this. But the more I eat the uglier I feel and the less in control I feel...then when I start fasting again I feel out of control because I couldn't control myself enough to recover.
God, sometimes I just feel like giving up and just letting myself starve to death...just go find some nice secluded place with no mirrors to go and wait to die. I'm not quite to that point yet, but maybe in a few years.
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God, sometimes I just feel like giving up and just letting myself starve to death...just go find some nice secluded place with no mirrors to go and wait to die. I'm not quite to that point yet, but maybe in a few years.
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