Where Does the Time Go
I have been a true slacker with the updating thing recently. I think I have more free time when I'm at school. Oh, well. Matters not...
What does matter is Marianne and myself "breaking up" (in quotations because the words "breaking up" sound too much like "adolescence"). I do not think I had previously mentioned that she and I were both aware that she needed to figure out how she felt about me and this summer would be the perfect setting for such a "quest".
And so Saturday night I asked her how she was feeling about her feelings and she says, "I think I need to move on." The reasoning was that she had become very comfortable in our relationship and said "comfort" was not something she wanted right now. She wants to be able to do her own thing, etc. I'm going to see her next friday (July 9) and we'll talk more about it over the next couple weeks but it feels like its over.
So here I am, at work, writing this in between various tasks and wondering, "How often is it, that a relationship ends because it became too comfortable for one of the people involved." I'm trying not to wall myself off too much (because that can happen) and I'm trying not be angry or cynical about it (because I have no reason to be) but it really does tear me up inside. Especially since it wasn't a mistake or something stupid on my part that ended it. The feeling that is mixed in with all the heartbreak and longing is helplessness and there's not much more to say than that.
What does matter is Marianne and myself "breaking up" (in quotations because the words "breaking up" sound too much like "adolescence"). I do not think I had previously mentioned that she and I were both aware that she needed to figure out how she felt about me and this summer would be the perfect setting for such a "quest".
And so Saturday night I asked her how she was feeling about her feelings and she says, "I think I need to move on." The reasoning was that she had become very comfortable in our relationship and said "comfort" was not something she wanted right now. She wants to be able to do her own thing, etc. I'm going to see her next friday (July 9) and we'll talk more about it over the next couple weeks but it feels like its over.
So here I am, at work, writing this in between various tasks and wondering, "How often is it, that a relationship ends because it became too comfortable for one of the people involved." I'm trying not to wall myself off too much (because that can happen) and I'm trying not be angry or cynical about it (because I have no reason to be) but it really does tear me up inside. Especially since it wasn't a mistake or something stupid on my part that ended it. The feeling that is mixed in with all the heartbreak and longing is helplessness and there's not much more to say than that.