I have way too much confidence
So last night, everyone wanted me to play Strip poker. They were like "But you've got JEWELRY on and you can take it off. I was like "This necklace is NOT coming off." Rory was the first person to notice the ring I have on my lefthand ring finger, which also wasn't coming off for me stripping for a bunch of guys and maybe Lacey and Holly. Although..really I was the only girl there last night. But anyways. As Ed, Jeremy and I were discussing whatever was going on with me and Rory (nothing anymore), we stopped and I turned and there was this big sign that said "Website Design $30.00." I looked at the business. Yep. Web business, looked like some guy had started it himself. I just turned to the guys, I was like "My jewelry, I wear pretty much permanently for Alex. Alex wanted, I don't know if he still wants to, but he wanted to start his own business. He's a web designer." They did their sad thing, because they were there the whole time after he dumped me. Then we were talking about how Jeremy and Mark have a "get Ed laid" fund and I was like "..I have a send-alex-to-college fund." Ed: "Why are you sending him to college?" "Because he's dumb." "You're sending him to college because he's dumb?" *laughs* "Yes. Because I want to see him make something of himself. ...*quiet* Because I care about him."
I came home, telling Jeremy and Ed the reason "I've done enough damage here" (here being Jeremy's house with Mark, Rory, Ed and Jeremy). I told Dad the whole story, cried, blah blah blah. Came home, went to bed, and turned on the Jazz radio station because it was the only thing that sounded really good to listen to. Still the only thing that sounds good, so I'm listening to it as I type this (I have the house to myself, but Dad would let me listen to it anyway). It's not all smooth Jazz as they claim. It's more just softer stuff. After Enya went over, Seal came on. Out of ALL the Seal songs that they could have chosen, they played Kiss From A Rose. My luck. Heh.
So I made out with Rory last night. At first, he really reminded me of Jawsh. And then Mark told me he was acting like Jeremy. I got all confused and was talking privately with Jeremy and I was like "Rory feels wrong. I don't like him that way. Not when he's acting like the real him. I don't want to go out with him."
...
Floral: Why are we not together?
Jeremy: Well you're moving and that's a rather large factor. Then there's whatever's going on with Rory, Ed, and what I have with Lacey. And then, I had pretty much made up my mind, but then you came along and told me not to choose you over Lacey so you pretty much made up my mind for me."
*silence for a moment*
Floral: Were you going to choose me?
Jeremy: Honestly, I was definitely leaning towards it.
*more silence*
Floral: *pulls Jeremy close and whispers* Go out with me.
Jeremy: I don't know. I..I..I don't know. I'll think about it. But I just don't know.
Yeah..he's gonna say no, isn't he? Oh well. Not like I'm not used to it. But yeah. I'm gonna figure this out. I know I will eventually. It's just hard along the way. Well...I make lots of things hard. ;) I am a slut. I know it. and I hate it. I want a relationship where we hang out cuz we enjoy spending time together, not cuz we wanna make out.