Spiders are really fucking stupid.
1st dream;
Earlier today, I was thinking about a very strange one where I was in a jungle, backing out through some bushes getting spider webs off me... I just realized what happened while I was in the midst of dreaming... A dumb ass wolf spider actually built a fucking web on my face while I was asleep and so I started smacking my face in my sleep and this apparently offended the arachnid so it bit me on the cheek bone. I hope that spider fell in my mouth and I ate it. Fucking piece of shit.
"HEY EVERYONE, LOOK AT HOW DUMB I LOOK. MY HOBBIES INCLUDE BUILDING WEBS ON CALVINS FACE WHEN HE'S A SLEEP AND THEN BITING HIM!!!"
2nd dream;
This dream was so awesome!!! I was a barbarian... better yet; i was Conan, The Barbarian.
I was walking around in my awesome barbarian armor, screwing hot women in leopard print loin clothes, eating meat, and gruesomely killing people with a giant sword and hammer.
3rd dream;
Then i beat the shit out of my self.
