:DD
things are good still. finally.
it has been such a long while since things have been so balanced and normal. not normal in the sense of actual normalcy, but more of the not overly complicated and hectic. I am happy that I have found a boy that cares for me like Chris does, and even after cutting through all the cheese, he can make me smile. I have come to realize that I am not used to the way he acts because it has been so long since i've opened up that way or have been opened up to in that way. I didn't have to fight to get where we are. He is awesome, and very cheesy, which is nice, and can be a little wierd sometimes, but all in all the good outwiegh the wierd, lol. He wants to spoil me, buy things, take me out, what have you. Those things are nice, but not what I am looking for. He knows that. I am not the girl that has to go to fancy dinners, or has to have the most expensive presents. I fear that when i say that those things are not necessary that I am coming across as too independent or snobby. I don't want him to feel obligated to do those things to make me happy. I just want to be happy together.
I have gotten to see a lot of couples "operate," if you will, over the last few years. I got to see these people interact with each other and be happy together. I missed that for myself. I fear that my expectations are so high, that I will push this all away, and still be lonely. I don't want that. I want to be loved, i want to feel it. I want a love like Crystal and Dave's. Really, it's more like the stupid little things that I see that I got a little jealous of, or missed for myself. I feel like I am gaining those things again, and that makes me so happy.
I feel nervous about it a lot though.
I'm positively done with being lonely.
School starts in a little over a month.
/rambles.
it has been such a long while since things have been so balanced and normal. not normal in the sense of actual normalcy, but more of the not overly complicated and hectic. I am happy that I have found a boy that cares for me like Chris does, and even after cutting through all the cheese, he can make me smile. I have come to realize that I am not used to the way he acts because it has been so long since i've opened up that way or have been opened up to in that way. I didn't have to fight to get where we are. He is awesome, and very cheesy, which is nice, and can be a little wierd sometimes, but all in all the good outwiegh the wierd, lol. He wants to spoil me, buy things, take me out, what have you. Those things are nice, but not what I am looking for. He knows that. I am not the girl that has to go to fancy dinners, or has to have the most expensive presents. I fear that when i say that those things are not necessary that I am coming across as too independent or snobby. I don't want him to feel obligated to do those things to make me happy. I just want to be happy together.
I have gotten to see a lot of couples "operate," if you will, over the last few years. I got to see these people interact with each other and be happy together. I missed that for myself. I fear that my expectations are so high, that I will push this all away, and still be lonely. I don't want that. I want to be loved, i want to feel it. I want a love like Crystal and Dave's. Really, it's more like the stupid little things that I see that I got a little jealous of, or missed for myself. I feel like I am gaining those things again, and that makes me so happy.
I feel nervous about it a lot though.
I'm positively done with being lonely.
School starts in a little over a month.
/rambles.