I find it deeply and somewhat sadistically satisfying in knowing that I gave someone almost 2000 miles away more pleasure in a 40-minute phone call than the person in his bed gave him all last night.

Is that bad of me? :)

This past year has been one of profound realizations, a coming to terms with myself that I did not realize I needed so badly ( Read more... )

One of the reasons I created this journal, perhaps the most important reason, was to give myself a space to sort out how I feel about the relationships I develop. I want to be honest about my concerns, fears, and worries as well as my excitement, joy, and desire. I'm afraid of that honesty - perhaps most so because being honest with myself is ( Read more... )

...I've been naughty ( Read more... )

First - my boyfriend and I talked, and it was good. The ice was broken; we're better now, much better. We'll be parting as friends, and I think we'll remain good friends. We need some time to get used to the separation, but the tension is gone. I can't tell you what a relief that is ( Read more... )

I've noticed a pattern:

When I'm not looking for anything new, when I feel that my life absolutely cannot take big changes or new situations...that's when something amazing happens, something I could never expect.

Such it is now.

The history:My boyfriend, as I've written about before, is leaving me. He's not moved out of the house yet, which is ( Read more... )

My boyfriend will be moving out over the holidays. My husband and I will be going to England to see his family from the 19th through the 29th, and he's going to move out during that time. We'll have an empty room, a lot more bills, and some peace around the house ( Read more... )

My boyfriend has settled on moving out at the end of the year. My husband and I are refinancing the house - just us ( Read more... )

My boyfriend, husband and I all sat down at our dining room table tonight to discuss the best ways to make it possible for said boyfriend to move out ( Read more... )

I've had this journal such a short time, and I've already posted so much sadness. It's so damned angsty ( Read more... )